Love Is More Than Words

Recently I had an experience where some new age spiritualist preachers of love showed me anything but love.  They were extremely judgmental in their approach and when I tried to point that out, they were extremely condescending and preachy.  If love is their sole reason for existence by the practice they proclaim to do, they failed miserably.  What is more sad is that they are not able to even see what it is that they did.

By jumping to conclusions and judging something I said before I could have a chance to respond, that does not sound like love to me.  By acting as if my explanation really didn't matter, that only their view was the right one, it did not sound like love to me.  It is easy of course to proclaim how much you love everyone and how much you practice love in your life, but if your actions don't back up your words, you are like this passage in the bible in First Corinthians 13.  It is one of my favorites because it says so much in so few words.


In the first section below, it really states that words or tongues without love, is nothing more than a noisy instrument.  Even if you have all this insight into humanity or life, but you don't practice what you preach, your words mean nothing.  Yet, so many - especially those that put themselves up on a pedestal - do exactly what this is saying gains you nothing in life.

Let Love Lead You

Too many times I see things that really cause pain upon others and hurt our society.  One such area is when we say we love others, but then the following words, actions, social media shares and thoughts show anything but love.

Love is not something you can boast about because if you truly love and have love, it will show through.  It needs no boasting.  In fact, anyone that boasts how much love they have probably is missing the true point of what love truly is.

I grew up in a family where we went to church on Sunday morning and heard love preached.  We embraced the words of love for all mankind, but by the time we got in the car on the way home, the gossip and things that were said gave no indication we understood what we had heard.

Proclaim love but actions don't match...

I see the same thing on social media where people proclaim how much love they have for others, but then they go and share some of the most hateful things out there.  I'm not saying everyone has to agree with everyone else in the world, but if you're going to profess love for others, make sure it shows in you actions, not just in words you spew.  Make sure they match.

Boasting about how great you are or all that you've done is not true love in my view.  Why does anyone need to know?  Why can't you just allow your actions of love to be love - that needs no grandstanding or parties held in honor of your own ego?

Love does not judge...

Love is just there, not demanding or judging.  Love just accepts and honors and respects others at all times, not just when it is convenient in a group of like minded brethren.

Love is there silently giving and helping and honoring, not trying to get all that it can get or trample over others.  Love does not try to hurt people by inflicting and hurling insults and derogatory comments towards one another.

Love does not bully.  Love doe not hate.  Love does not try to divide and sow discourse and hatred.  Love does not try to pit one group against the other.  Love instead tries to understand and comprehend and help or assist.

Love lifts one another up...

Love tries to lift one another up knowing that as we lift each other up, we lift up all mankind and the universe.  Love does not want to see others suffer or make fun of someone else.  Love offers hugs of acceptance to all it meets.

Love does not call names or feel hurt because it believes others are attacking it.  Love only continues to show love.  Love does not believe the fears that are fed each and every day to our society through so many sources.  Love conquers fear.  Love vibrates at a higher energy than fear.

If you say you have love, then by all means - show it!  If you say you have love, then don't share the hate filled messages on social media or participate in the activities that divide one human from another.  There is no love in that.  There is an absence of love.

Instead, allow love to take you by the hand and lead you into moments where you are a positive inspiration to others.  Walk into the moments where you help lift others up without judgment and allow them to discover their own path in their own time.  Allow love to fill every part of your life, not just ones that are convenient for Sunday morning.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Love In Our Words

I see people write or say things where they claim to love, yet their words say the opposite. For instance, people love to say that they "accept" the person but not their behavior. You could easily substitute the word "love" for "accept" in this case. While this statement sounds innocuous and fine to many people, it does not truly denote love and acceptance. In fact, it can be very harmful, hurtful and full of hatred.

Love is a passionate, heart felt and personal attachment to something or in this case, a person. Love is about accepting others as they are, not as we think they should be. Love is about fully uniting with that person in a way that transcends everything about them. Pure love is not judgmental and it does not force others to comply with our views of life. It is about holding the space open for someone and accepting them completely and unequivocally with nothing held in reserve.

While many of us state that we do truly love others in a pure form of love, we often fall short. While we say that we completely accept others, we often do it with thoughts in the back of our mind saying, the other person needs to be this way or that way. It is easy to mouth the words in claiming that we love others in a pure way. However, it is much more difficult to really do as we say.

In many ways, to love someone is to accept the person. To accept the person is to love them. Yes, the two words can mean different things but in many respects they are saying the same thing. The true definition may differ but the actions are basically the same.

In my view, there is either love in this world or an absence of love. If I continue on with my previous thought, there is acceptance or there is not acceptance of others in this world. While I may be coming close to an all or nothing, dark versus light explanation, that is not my intent. If you have pure love, than there cannot be an absence of love. If you have pure acceptance of others, than you cannot half way accept others or accept others with conditions. It all depends upon the degree of love or acceptance you have.

The other day, a person said that he accepted the person (we can also use the word "love" in place of "accepted") but this same person did not accept their behavior. While they thought this was perfectly fine and they were not showing any hatred whatsoever, I would not agree with them. You can not accept someone fully or love them fully but then go on to say you do not agree and accept their behavior. The two statements are at odds with each other. Yes, you can say you don't accept their behavior, but then you truly don't love or accept the person.

It is a very subtle distinction but a very important one. For when we say we love or accept the person but not the behavior, we are putting ourselves in judgment over that person and are acting in a very condescending manner. If you are going to do this, at least be honest enough with yourself and do not try to convince others that you accept or love the same person.

Being honest with others and yourself will truly move us forward as a civilization. Hiding our truth from our self will only move us into the realm of unsubstantiated opinions that we try to hold out as facts. All too often, we misconstrue our opinions as facts in life. We will be much better people if we can truly be aware and honest with ourselves. Anything less not only hurts us individually but it hurts society as a whole.

Just to say that we do not have hatred for others through what we say, is not enough. Our words can be uplifting and bring us together or they can be hurtful and full of pain, driving us apart. As humans and as a society, we need to really understand the difference.

(Above image of the song, Hope For Haditha Children from the CD, Relaxing Spa Music by Don Shetterly- (c) 08/1/06)


*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Let Us Hate One Another

Isn't this what the bible teaches?  Isn't that what Jesus proclaimed, let us hate one another?  Reading the news articles and twitter feeds and Facebook postings, you would think that to be human means, you hate other humans.

I am constantly amazed at how our society and culture treat one another.  There is no love.  There seems to be only hate.  The ones blinded by hate cannot even begin to see what love means.  Unfortunately, it feels like that is 100% of the population in this country and world.

To be one that tries to love others feels like a part of a super small group of individuals.  Some people proclaim they love others, but their rhetoric and social media postings might suggest otherwise.  Love is not mere words.  Love is putting your words in action.

I grew up in a house that proclaimed love and one of the recurring quotes I heard pounded into the table was "by God, we are a family and were going to love one another no matter what".  Of course, there was anything but true love in our house.  It was a facade.  These quotes usually were a result of control and manipulation and abuse.

Love is More Than Social Media Memes

All too often, many proclaim, but few really put it in action.  I'm talking about LOVE.  Love is not just mere words.  Love is not posting memes saying how much we love others.  Love is putting a feeling and a thought into action.

I see Love as action.  I don't see it as sharing something on social media that grandstands for the whole world to see.  There is far too much of this and far too little that is actually felt and practiced by humans living on the planet.

I've seen far too many things posted saying how great of a person they are and how much they love others, only for their social media feeds and actions to state the opposite.  Love is not something you have to proclaim.  People are able to see it through your actions and thoughts.

We need love in this world...

We need love in this world more than ever.  There is far too much animosity and anger.  We need love to be in abundance and have love starts with each one of us.  If we don't love ourselves, we will not love others.  If we don't show love to others, we are not showing love to ourselves.

Love is not something we have to wait for other to do.  Love is something that we must begin within ourselves.  For when it starts within us, it will permeate and grow and flood every corner of the earth and universe.

Love does not need motivation for if there is love, it will be shown without a requirement to do so. It will be automatic.  People will know you more by the love you show to others, not by the words and memes you share.

Let's start changing the world by showing love for ourselves and as we do, let it flow to every inhabitant of the earth.  We do not need to have strings attached to it.  Love is endless and boundless and just wants to grow and exist between all the inhabitants of this land.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Words Have Consequences

Everyone seems to forget this.  It happens all too often.  We think that the words we write in a twitter feed or facebook post or share as comments on a news story are just words.  However, words do have consequences.

We forget that although we are writing these words to a computer screen, there are real people on the other side of our screen.  This used to be a problem only to forums and message boards, but these days, it permeates every corner of our society.

Words matter.  Words can hurt.  Words can lift others up.  It is how we use our words and our speech that either makes us more human or less.  We cannot just sit idly by and spew words, not thinking or caring what they mean to our own civilization and the world as a whole.

Words cannot just be for gain over another human or group or ideology.  Words cannot just be for winning at all costs.  Words cannot just be one thing you say one minute and then revise the next.  For our words are what we communicate to others and words do have consequences.  People will know us not only by our actions, but by our words.

Words hurt..

In this day we are living in, words seem to either hurt and inflame, or disregard the very nature of human existence.  Many are oblivious to what they say and they feel because of whatever hurt or experience has happened in their own life, they are free to say what they want.  In fact, many believe that it is their right to do so.

Yet, when the words are hurled back upon them, they think others are being unfair.  Never mind that what they spew is beyond horrible.  It is only what others say to them.  It is sad because while they cannot take their own medicine, they don't understand any longer that words have consequences.

Speaking out both sides of your mouth...

When you speak out of both sides of your mouth, what should those that hear think?  How will they know which conclusion to reach about what you say?  If you are constantly saying one thing just to win, but then you're acting and saying something different, your words are like standing in sinking sand.  There is nothing for anyone to solidly stand on.

I grew up in a house where individuals said one thing, but would do another.  I grew up in a house where one thing was said one moment, only for the next moment to be the complete opposite.  I grew up in a house where individuals would say whatever they wanted, not caring how deeply it hurt others and having absolutely no love in their hears.  They did not understand that words have consequences.

When people don't care about the words they spew, you can't get down in the gutter with them.  You're not going to win that battle because ignorance will prevail.  It takes deep love and compassion for them.  Sometimes it takes walking away from them, for if they never listen, the words will be meaningless and fall on ears that can never hear.

Words have consequences and the only replacement for them is love and compassion in our hearts.  We need to make sure we are not pointing our fingers at others for failing to understand this when we take the same approach.

These days, through all the screaming online and in the news, there are very few that really understand that words have consequences.  May we all begin to ponder how we use our words.  May we search our own hearts before pointing the fingers at everyone else.  After all, it is not just everybody else that is the problem. 

#Words

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Inspire Us To Love

I saw this posted at the vigil for the Pulse Victims in Orlando at Lake Eola.  It touched my heart deeply and I still can't get this out of my mind.  With all the recent events in the news, I think this banner and message is as important today as it was when I saw it.  Inspire us to love.

Inspire us to love should be the way we go through our lives.  It should be the way we look at life, evaluate life and connect with each other.  It should be something more and something greater than we currently know.  It should be the bedrock principal with how we talk and act towards one another.

Just thinking about the thought should lift us to higher realms of consciousness and awareness.  It should be something that we strive towards and desire to achieve.  It should be a goal for all mankind.

Words are not enough...

Words are not enough.  Actions without words are not enough.  Saying to the world that we love one another is not enough.  It must come from our heart and our mind and our body.  It must come from a normal balance we exhibit every day of our lives, not just at a vigil or when another tragedy strikes.

Our words must be more than empty gestures that show up when we're angry and scared and upset.  Our words must be more than we speak on a Sunday morning and forget the other 6 days of the week.  Words must be authentic and with compassion for all, not just for the ones that we agree with in that moment.

We must use our actions...

We must use not only our words to inspire us with love, but we must use our actions to show how we are inspired by our love.  It is action coming from the heart that shows just how much love we have.  It is compassion born out of love in our heart that helps us lift the entire world up, not just those that we identify with in our day.

Inspire us to love should be the norm.  It should be where all else is created from in life.  Instead of spewing our hared and disdain for one another, let us show love.  Instead of spewing our ignorance because we have not yet taken the time to understand, let us show love to one another.  Let us show the love of compassion and understanding.

Showing the love of compassion and understanding is our currency of being human.  It is how we become human.  It is how we connect and build each other up and lift each other to new heights.  It is how we all survive and thrive on this journey called life.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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What Is Love - Do We Really Know?

Written By Don Shetterly

Every day I see people making statements about love and how we should love one another.  This is the time of year where love is in the air.  Unfortunately, the more I hear about love, the more I wonder if anyone realizes what it means.

Love isn't something that goes around boasting about how much it exists or how it exists.  It doesn't grandstand or exclaim, "hey, look at me!"  For it does not have to do this since love can be seen, felt, and acknowledged for its existence.

Readily Seen

Love isn't something we have to convince others that we have.  If we have love within our hearts, it will be readily seen through our thoughts, actions, and words. It will just be evident without us banging our chests as if we are the most pronounced dealers in the world of love.

Love isn't about what others think of us or how much our ego enjoys to be noticed.  It requires that we be there for others in a pure, unselfish and unadulterated manner.  The behavior we see on display these days tends to be anything but this.

Transcends Everything

Love isn't about keeping score of what you've done for other people or how you've been successful.  It is not about the latest stories and trends and rants or raves of the day.  There is no need for it to connect with trending topics because love transcends everything.

Love is more than puffing up one's spiritual beliefs as it blinds them to the deeper truth in their own lives and worlds.   For love is something that operates at a higher moment than any man-made set of truths derived from beliefs, customs, and ideas passed from one generation to the next.

Sits Quietly

Love is not a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  Often, pure and true unadulterated love sits quietly in the background spreading to every corner of the room.  It needs to not draw attention because everyone in the room will know if it is there or not.

Love comes from deep within the heart of our mind and body, not the ego that we see at every turn today in our world.  It is felt within the body, not dictated by the mind.  When you're thinking about what you should do or how you should react, love is not necessarily the one in control.

Support

Love comes from surrendering to feelings and emotions of all types, not just the select few we wish to engage.  It is about bringing balance to the extremes, but recognizing that the extremes in life exist.

Love is full of compassion and help, assistance and support.  It knows and sees a bigger picture because it is connected at the core of all that it exists.  Since it is connected, there is a knowing and understanding that rises above the common discourse of the day.

In The Knowing

If you ask, what is love?  Go deep into your heart to search for the answers.  They will not be in what others proclaim or how other people say love will show up.  Love will be in the knowing and understanding that there is more which transcends this current moment.

We will see love through the thoughts, words, and actions of those that it inhabits.  It will just be there automatically without effort.

Connection

It will connect with others in a way that they know it exists.  Nothing will need to be said to see it, for it is a felt emotion that is strong and powerful and never-ending.

Love is more than enough.

Love is in great enough supply.

We need to tap into it and discard the darkness in our hearts so that we not only feel it, but we share it with everyone.

The world needs love.

The world needs love in a big way.

May we all find and embrace the love that flows to every person in this world.

Let us all be open to pure love without trying to mold it into what we think it should be.

Also, read the blog post, I Send Out Love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/13/18 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required in writing before any part of this blog is reprinted, reworded, transmitted or used in any format. 
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I Wish I Had Enough Love

In this day of horrendous news and behavior that is less than human, I feel like I cannot do enough.  I know I'm not alone.  Others feel the same way when people are degraded and torn down and used as political footballs or as individuals to bully.   Its hard to see anyone murdered or beaten or abused and yet it happens far too often in our day.

As humans we should strive to be more than we are, not how we can abuse, tear down or kill or one-up every other person.  We should not aim to divide, but celebrate our differences and cherish where our lives intersect.  This world has become a dangerous place and the rhetoric spewed in abundance, does not help.  It may be the result of the ego, but it hurts everyone.

Words have become daggers throughout every country of this world.  If words can hurt and kill others, then we can use words to heal and soothe and uplift one another.  I write these words in an attempt to help us heal and soothe the open wounds of society.

...Who Suffered

I wish I had enough love to heal all those that have suffered in this world.  Whether it is from child abuse and trauma or from the horrors of bombs and mass killings.  Whether it is from those adults who have no idea how to respect their kids or from those that turn an eye.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... Feel Wounded

I wish I had enough love to heal all those who feel wounded in life and lash out at everyone they meet.  Whether it is the ones that feel they have all the answers or the politicians that use people to win their posts.  Whether it is those that feel they should use every form of social media to portray their hurt and anger against recipients that don't expect it.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

 ... Numb and Disconnected

I wish I had enough love to heal all those who are so numb and disconnected in life.  Whether it is from all their past experiences or the current barrage of everyday news.  Whether it is from everything that has overwhelmed them or the moment where they feel like there is no hope.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... Hurting From Being Strong

I wish I had enough love to heal all those who are hurting from being strong for so long in life.  Whether it is from current health issues that steal their strength, energy and vitality or from moments where their bodies are too tired to see another day.  Whether it is from those moments of just being so tired in life that they want to give up.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... All The Hate

I wish I had enough love to heal all the hate that is portrayed to the world.  Whether it is from the political rhetoric or those that do it in the name of God and love.  Whether it is by those who cannot see or ones who have to cover up for their own lack of self worth.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... All The Fear

I wish I had enough love to heal all the fear in this world.  Whether it is from the fear that is real or imagined or something that seems all too real.  Whether it is from the fear that hides within each soul, but goes unnoticed in our day and we put on the happy face so as to hide it.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... All The Greed

I wish I had enough love to heal all the greed in this world.  Whether it is from the online sites that can only see dollar signs instead of authenticity.  Whether it is from those for whom there is never enough greed to fill their pockets in a day and they constantly seek more.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.  

... Hatred and Ignorance

I wish I had enough love to heal the hatred and ignorance towards one another.  Whether it is from racism or the color of one's skin or just the ignorance of seeing someone else as different.  Whether it is from long held family beliefs that were taught or the failure to see each other as human.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.  

... Not Seeing

I wish I had enough love to heal the willingness not to see in this world.  Whether it is through the constant chatter of the news for the daily fix of being re-traumatized or the superficial side of social media.  Whether it is through blind allegiance to those we agree with or the lack of being one's self.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... What Was Taught

I wish I had enough love to heal the mind from seeing only what was taught.  Whether it is the teachings that were imparted from day one to a child who never realized that this was a beginning point, not an end point to knowledge.  Whether it was from those that were beaten into submission to learn only what they were told.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

 ... Planet

I wish I had enough love for the earth to heal the woes of this planet.  Whether it is the animals that are abused and tortured or given no sacred respect for their place in our civilization.  Whether it is for the plants or trees or land that is tortured for our own gain.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... Forgiveness

I wish I had enough love to offer forgiveness to everyone.  Whether its on the battlefield of a war or on the murderous streets where we live.  Whether it is from those that did us so much harm that we can never begin to understand how to forgive them and let go.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

... Mind Body Connection

I wish I had enough love to help all humans to understand the mind - body connection in the way I've learned from experience.  Whether it is neglecting rest for our body or a healthy balance of all things in a day.  Whether it is the complete isolation and disconnect from our mind and body or a fear that it doesn't align with our beliefs.  I wish I had enough love to heal each one.

I feel inadequate beyond measure for all I see happening.  I feel some days as if I cannot do enough.  I often feel like even in what I try to do, it's never enough to heal the earth, its people, and all inhabitants we see.  For evil has marched upon this planet in the name of love while it has closed the eyes of many as if they have never seen.

I feel inadequate beyond measure to know how to help, but I long to help.  I feel some days as if love is not enough.  I feel at times that hope may never come to see another day.


Surely as a people and civilization living on this planet, we can do more than we are doing today.  Surely, we can be more than we are today.  Surely, we can all find some small way in this day to make a positive difference and then repeat it again tomorrow.

For if we continue down the path we are on, love may not be enough to pull us back.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Saying It Does Not Make It True

My eyes are doing the eye roll.  You know, when you read something and it makes your head spin around a few times too many.  I try hard to practice what I preach and I probably fail sometimes just like others.

Reading on the social media feed, I saw someone share things about listening to others and respecting them.  I saw how they posted stuff that said actions speak louder than words.  By that point, I was thinking - wow, someone else that sees this part of life.  And then, it happened....

Yep, I began to read more of what they posted online in their social media account.  Do I really need to say what I saw?  Yep, it was more of the stuff that you would see just about anywhere on social media.  It was the stuff they were rallying against.  They were doing exactly what they were so against.

Everyone tells others what to do...

It seems like in these days, everyone tells others what they should do and how they should think, but it is meant for those that don't see things in life the way they do.  It is meant more as a whipping belt than as something that is truly good for not only everyone else, but for them!

I don't care what side of the political isle you are on or if you are religious or not, we as humans love to beat one another up every day.  The rhetoric that is being spewed on the internet is so toxic, that poisonous words are looking for safer waters.

It is hard to read anything online these days and it is just not politics.  Someone can post a pretty picture online or a nice video, and some will love it and others will degrade it.  The comments will get so divisive and hurtful, that it makes my head spin.

Do we not have an ounce of love...

I wonder if humans just hate everyone and anyone these days.  Do we not have one ounce of love in our life, or are we just out for our thoughts, beliefs and life as we see it?  It sure doesn't feel like anyone out there that claims they have love, knows how to practice it or put it in action.

In my own family, I see my holier-than-thou brother and his friends that say they preach love, but their actions are anything but this.  What you see them say and share on their social media feeds shows anything but love.  Yet, they use the "love they preach" as a bully stick to beat you into submission of what they perceive to be truth.

Love is absent in social media...

I'm so saddened by what I see playing out in social media and the news these days.  There is nothing wholesome about it.  There is nothing human about it.  It is pure poison and toxicity.  Love is absent.

It isn't the enemies that we cannot see which are the most evil in our world.  It is how we treat one another and how much hatred we harbor for one another that allows evil to thrive and grow.

It is in how we have lost the love in our own heart, that we allow the ego to rule our thoughts, words, and actions as if they are somehow virtuous.  Even though we proclaim our actions are right and justified, we fail to see that love is being abolished every minute we take a breath.

If we want the world to change and if we want others to change, this change needs to start within us.  We need to connect with love, rather than hate if we want others to love us.  We need to connect with understanding, if we want others to understand us.

All the screaming and toxic words being hurled in social media or in the world will never convince anyone that their motives and actions are born out of love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Day 6

Healing The Itchy
Rash, Day 6

For background on this post, please begin at the blog post on November 6, 2011 (Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Intro).

From My Personal Journal on October 15, 2011

Scared And Frightened


Today is a difficult.  I look at my hand as disfigured and discolored as it appears striking horror in my eyes.  Liquid seeps from the raised blotches on my hand as if my hand has encountered water.  My hand is swollen to what looks like twice my normal size. 


I fear it will always be this way.  It hurts to move it, flex it or use it.  Sleeping becomes a difficult exercise as there is no good way to position my hand.  Every movement brings with it intense pain and itching.


I'm scared and frightened wondering what the outcome of this will be.  It wasn't that long ago that I experienced these horrible moments.  What lies ahead waiting to ambush me as a nightmare?

To Be Loved On Valentines Day

On this day when everyone is stressing out about the plans they need to make, or the flowers they feel they must buy or the gifts they must give, can we stop and think about this in a different way.  Sure Valentines day is made for lovers and commercial business has made sure it is very well celebrated day.  However, I think we could argue that Valentines Day should be year around, and not just one moment of the year.

I'd like to take us further though on what Valentines Day is.  I think we could all agree that it is about love.  The more love you have in your heart, the more you wholeheartedly want to give it away to everyone you meet and to the universe around you including the earth and animals.  The unique part of love is that the more you give away, the more you will receive.

Love though, encompasses so much more than something between lovers.  Love is something that each one of us needs to practice with our self.  If we do not love our self, we have very little capacity to love one another.  Only by first loving our self, can we find the love within us to give away to all those we meet.  Without finding the love inside, we keep it locked away in a dark cave.

I Love You But

All my life I heard this familiar statement: " I love you but", followed by some reason or statement.  It was almost as if their proof and reason why the word "but" was included held validity over you and anything you would say or think.

These days, I see "I love you but" statements and I cringe.  Most of the time no one realizes they are using them.  Many are so numb and disconnected that it becomes normal every day talk from one person to another.

In many ways, the "I love you but" statement comes when you don't agree with someone else.  In a way, I see it as passive aggressive.  It is like saying either get in line with my way of thinking, or just know that there is something wrong with you.  Sure, we don't come out and say that, but this statement strongly implies it.

Often I've heard the statement "I love you but" being used to bring a child in line and get them to act a certain way.  This is one of the main ways I heard this used growing up.  It doesn't matter if the behavior is wrong, it is there when someone feels it is their responsibility to control another.

In churches, it is common to say, "we love the sinner but hate the sin" and to me, this is just another iteration of the "I love you but" statement.  You can't hate what makes up a person and still fully love them at the same time.  You can disagree but you either love the person unconditionally or you don't.

People need others that love them without conditions because when they know they are accepted, it is then they can flourish.  When they are being controlled and manipulated and trampled upon, it is then that they wilt and die.

Too often we think we know what is best for others, yet we have not walked in their shoes.  We think that they have to subscribe to our thoughts or we cannot love them completely.  Love does not place limits on anything.  Love is freely available and given in its purest form.

There is just far too much judgment in this world, and to only dole out love when it is convenient for you is not only disrespectful to the other person, but to yourself.  If you only love people when they meet certain conditions, I can almost bet that they will show you what they want you to see, not who they really are.

Let's try having unconditional love for one another.  Let's not just make grandiose gestures that we do.  Let's not just go out and scream it to the world that we love one another.  Instead, may our words and actions align together and may those around us, innately know that they are loved.  May they know that it is more than mere words stated that are cloaked in judgment.

And if we can't even bring ourselves to unconditional love for another, let's at least try to show some respect.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Tired Of People Tearing Each Other Apart

Some days I would like to leave my life’s compass behind and just lay into some people.  Part of me just wants to put some people in their place.  The anger at the crap I hear every day in the news is enough to make a fish walk on land.  I’m so tired of the screaming of the mindless opinions on the internet, in the media, the churches and of course – politics.

While I’m sick and tired of all of the rhetoric out there, I try to keep myself from joining the masses.  After all, there are enough sick minds out there and I sure don’t need to add my two cents worth to the fray.  There are far too many people screaming and proclaiming they have the “truth” and what they “believe” is what everyone else should believe. 

Most of the people screaming don’t even understand what they are screaming about, but it doesn’t stop them anyway.  Facts mean very little when put in the totality of the beliefs they hold dear.  After all, it isn’t about justifying yourself to anyone.   It is just about pushing your beliefs upon others whether they have any interest in them or not.  It is like my dad used to say, it’s my way or the highway. 

Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Day 10

Healing The Itchy
Hand Rash, Day 10

For background on this post, please begin at the blog post on November 6, 2011 (Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Intro).


From My Personal Journal on October 20, 2011

Another Night Of Torture


Last night was torture again as I tried to fall asleep.  Instead of muscle tension as in the night before, it was major heartburn and nausea.  I doubt it was anything I ate although that makes no sense.  Once I got to sleep, I slept pretty well the rest of the night.


I can see a marked improvement in the rash today.  The swelling of my hand has lessened, the itch and burning is not as bad.  The redness and blotches or pimples are still there to some degree.  However, seeing an improvement for the first time in over a week is reassuring.  It is difficult to experience this and it takes great amounts of strength and courage to make it through a day.

Saying I Love Myself

I know this blog post may sound funny to some and if it does, well... have a chuckle about it.  Unfortunately for the naysayers, this is a concept I use and it does work for me.

Saying "I love myself" is a very healing concept.

I got the idea from watching Marlee Matlin play the role in the What The Bleep Do We Know movie.  In one scene, she was writing "I Love You" on her body.  I thought that was a very powerful scene.

I have been through rashes and other situations where very little helped to heal my body. I've struggled with depression and anxiety and suicide.  Sometimes, not very much helps or works at that moment.

One thing I do is start saying "I Love You" to myself.  If there is a body part that is affected, I start looking at it and saying, "I Love You".  If it is just about life in general, I will repeat these words, "I Love You".

Now, I know it seems silly and probably ridiculous to do this.  Yet if you read the book by Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages Of Water, you will see that this has great merit to it.

The voices that laugh at me...

Often when I try to tell myself or a body part that "I Love You", I hear my own background voices laughing at me.  They try to tell me just how silly this is.  They try to tell me how stupid I am to believe that love is even possible let alone what I am doing.

I've learned to not silence those voices in the background, but acknowledge them. If you push them to the back and ignore them, they only grow stronger.  If you acknowledge them and send love to them, you're winning the battle against them.

What I've seen with this concept is that I have seen rashes ease up and heal.  I've seen my depression and anxiety lift.  I've seen my own mind be changed from suicidal thoughts.

Is this a quick fix?  Not always.  Sometimes I see results quickly, but at other times I have to do this for a time before my mind and body actually begin to listen to it.

Repeat to get myself to hear it...

Often times, I have to repeat this over and over to myself before I get myself to listen to it.  It isn't easy to hear and it isn't always easy to do.  However, it is very effective.

Many years ago when I was struggling to come to terms with some of the horrible abuse memories I was dealing with, I used one of Shaina Noll's songs, How Could Anyone, to help me.  I would play this morning and night in the privacy of my home where no one could hear me, and I would sing the words.  Most of the time, I'd be crying hysterically by the time I got done.  However, after several weeks of this, I could tell it had a profound impact on me.

Whatever situation you are going through in life or whatever you have had to deal with, one of the things that we often need to do is to learn to love ourselves.  That's a rough part of healing, but saying "I Love You" in whatever form that works for you can be so healing.

It most likely may be something you will need to repeat often because when we've been hurt or tortured or abused, the last thing we believe is that we can be loved.  This is just one of the things that has helped me heal what I thought would never change.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Words Without Action Don't Mean Much

Words without action don't mean much in my opinion.  We seem to get that this is true, but yet in our civilization, humans fail to comprehend this concept.

Of course, if you are reading this, I'm sure you've never done this.  Words without action is probably something someone else does, right?  After all, we would never ever think of doing this.  I'm just being crazy, or am I?

So here are some examples that might help you see if you fall into this trap of words without action.

I see all too often that we preach love and acceptance to everyone.  We despise bullies and those that only see others through a narrow lens.  However, then the same people that are so put off by the rhetoric of hate and narrow-minded thinking can be found doing the same thing.  If you truly listen to yourself and watch what you share online or what you say in the privacy of only those that agree with you, it would be horrifying.

Another example is how people say they want to heal their lives or move on from situations, but what they do is anything but working towards this goal.  It is words without action.  They want to heal if it doesn't involve them going deep into areas of discomfort and stepping outside of their comfort zone.  They want to heal as long as it doesn't involve them going beyond the paradigms and belief system they know.  The desire to heal is there as long as it doesn't upset the family or social structure in their lives.

Last but not least is the example of saying phrases that are words without action.  They are statements that don't mean much.  For instance, you could constantly say to someone, "I love you," except that far too often, it is nothing but words.  There's no follow through with the words such as in action you take. 

You might tell someone that you miss them, but do absolutely nothing to stay in touch.  Either you are too busy for them, or you act as if there is no way to communicate.  You find a million excuses to go along with these words.  

Words without action show your priorities are off or you don't believe what you say.  They belittle those that bear the brunt of them.  They become passive aggressive swords that inflict pain.  

The world really needs people who are authentic.  We don't need more people who speak or write words without action because they just don't mean much.  You can claim all day long that it is everyone else that does this, but unless each one of us looks in the mirror, we won't see the log in our own eye.

Make your life authentic.  Make your life count so that when others hear you speak, your word is impeccable.  Don't be the person that speaks the words without action taken! 

  

I Send Out Love

I Send Out Love

I Send Out Love

(c) Don Shetterly 10/21/11

I send out love to the frustrating parts of my life that I experience, including the periods of anger, moments of hopelessness and despair.

I send out love to the energy that I need, the love and acceptance I desire so that it engulfs my life.  Take away the fog and replace it with the love of knowing and understanding.

I send out love to all those who struggle and identify with the words I write.  It would be easy to tell those in despair that all will be okay.  Unfortunately, despair is not often able to hear and so I send out love to each person.

Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, The Story

Healing The Itchy Hand
Rash, The Story

For background on this post, please begin at the blog post on November 6, 2011 (Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Intro).


From My Personal Journal on October 23, 2011

The Story


Healing - sadness - pain!  These three words sum up this day.  I wish I did not have to experience any of this but I know I did.  It is hard to give up that thought.  It is difficult to let go.


While the pain of the memories is not easy, I am able to go in and feel it, experience it, without being totally overwhelmed.  I could not say that two weeks ago because it almost took me under.


Imagine being held down and raped as a kid.  However, imagine boiling water or hot coffee being poured on you if you tried to resist.  Imagine your little arms and hands being pinned down so you couldn't move as he repeatedly raped you.  Sounds horrible right?  For me, I don't have to imagine any of this.  It is all too real in my mind, the events I describe.

I Connect With Love

It is too easy these days to lock love up in the closet and say, "we will let you out when we are ready".  It seems that way in our society and in the world.  We need love so badly these days, but by shoving it into a deep dark cave, we're starving the world of so much.

I strive to connect with love, but sometimes as much as I hope to do this, I still fail.  Sometimes I see the faults in others.  Sometimes I think others should be this way or that way.

Sometimes I scream out in frustration at how I see the inhabitants of the world behaving.  Sometimes it is hard for me to connect with love.

If I catch myself, I take a step back and try to open my eyes further.  I try to see that which I am not seeing in others.  I try to see where it attaches to me in the things I get worked up about in my day.  For I know that if I am seeing the things I dislike in others, there is something about myself that I am not seeing clearly. 

When I connect with love, it is not about seeing the faults of another.  It is not about judging what they do or say or how they act.  It is not highlighting deficiencies my ego may see in another.  It is about accepting the person as they are in that moment.

It is not easy to do this...

I'll agree with what you may be thinking.  It is not easy to do this.  As many times as I succeed, I fall flat on my face.  Of course, I say this if I am only being truly honest with myself.  The rest of the time, it is just too easy to portray to others that I've got it all together when in reality, I'm just another human learning to walk the face of this earth.

Being real and authentic in how I connect with love is by far the greatest gift I can give humanity and the world.  Without unconditional, no-strings-attached love, we're only torturing ourselves and the rest of humanity.  The more we puff our ego up and hold ourselves to be something we are not, the more we will trip over the stones in our own path.

Love is not about announcing to the world just how enlightened you are or how much you love others.  Love is truly an action that is readily seen by all other inhabitants.  Words are not necessary to truly see love in action.

I wish everyone could connect with love more, but I cannot control the actions of others.  I can only control that which I put into the world and give to myself.  I can only control how I connect with love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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