Before You Judge Me

So I see stuff posted to social media that really makes my head spin.  Often the people posting the stuff should heed the words rather than preaching to the world.  No, I'm not doing the same thing here.  I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy. 

Today I saw the following one, "before you judge me, you better make sure you're perfect". 

It is a nice sentiment and maybe it would be best if we don't judge one another.

However, the individual that posted this is one of the most judgmental people I know.  If you don't follow his way of thinking and his beliefs about everything, you are wrong and bad stuff will happen to you.

In other words, it is far easier to post memes on social media than it is to live by what we preach.  I remember my Dad always telling me, "Don't do as I do, do as I tell you to do!"  Unfortunately, this is the way far too many act these days.

It really would be best if we stopped judging one another because when we do that, it makes us less than human.  It makes us less than the person we are judging because whatever issue we see, it is all that we see in them.

Maybe before posting memes on social media, it would be wise to look within and see that while you don't think you're judging, there is a good chance you are.  Please heed your own words.

No one is perfect of course, but judging others is a pretty low trait of being human.

By the way, the image on this blog post is cropped from the social media pages.  I'm assuming since everyone shares these like wildflowers, that it is okay to use this image.  If there is a copyright that prevents this, please let me know.  If you do prohibit me from sharing this, then I assume that whoever would stop all sharing on social media.





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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/8/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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The High And Mighty

Recently, I experienced something that was extremely hurtful and painful.  Someone that meant a lot to me and still does, got up on their high and mighty horse.  They fell off it as well, but hopefully they can find their way back up on a normal horse.

The thing is, I am one that tries to improve myself.  I work hard to push myself more than the day before.  Of course, I'm not always perfect either and in fact, I fail far more of the time then I get it right.  I don't stop.  I don't give up.

Now, I may struggle and I may squirm around during my days.  Things may appear that I have no clue what is going on or what I need to do.  In all reality, those are the moments, I'm beginning to formulate my thoughts and I don't hide all of this from anyone.

Some must not like to see that.  They get all high and mighty and proclaim they know all, see all, and are all wise.  They proclaim in passive aggressive ways that I know nothing and that I need to get on the ball.

It's sad really because if we as humans spent as much time working on ourselves as we did nitpicking other people, we would be some mighty awesome people.  We wouldn't be a judgmental high and mighty person, but one that was full of true love without judgment.

Most likely there is a lesson in here for me to learn and probably at some point down the road, things will look different then they do in the midst of the pain and hurt.  Stuff will happen and even those that we really care about will turn and become something we have never seen before in our experience with them.

So be it!  They can be high and mighty all they want, but at the end of the day, I've got to look out for myself and stay true to myself.  It isn't that I try to brush off things that maybe will help me as much as I can't sway to every whim someone has that thinks they know best for me.

There are times that I choose not to say things to others because I know it would only hurt them and serve no purpose.  It does not mean I don't listen.  It just means that I am trying to protect them and the cascade of effects that would surely fall like a row of dominoes.

All my life, there have been far too many that were high and mighty.  Much of it has focused around religion, but some of it comes in the new age world.  There are just so many  that try to fix everyone else instead of applying the same balm to their own life.

I know, its easier to point the fingers at other people, but just remember that when you point the finger at someone, you have three pointing back at you.  If you keep that in mind, it will greatly help not only your interactions with others, but the entire world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2/5/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Clean Your Own Windows First

I read something on a Facebook page recently of someone I don't know.  While I'm not going to reference the Facebook site that they shared, it was a religious one.  Actually this site looked to be a little more balanced than most, but the person sharing it had all kinds of JUDGMENTAL posts on this page.  It is funny to me that people will share things that are so good, but they don't even take to heart what it is that they share.

In the shared item, the story went something along the lines of a person who was critical of the neighbors.  In fact, it was about the neighbors laundry on the clothes line.  The person in this story constantly complained to her husband that the neighbor did not know how to do laundry.  For every time the neighbor did the laundry and hung it on the line, it appeared dirty.  It was not until one day she realized that the neighbor's laundry looked clean and exclaimed to her husband, that they must have figured out how to do laundry.  It was not until her husband told her that he got up early that day and cleaned their windows that she understood who it was that had the problem.

You see, it is easy for us to point out all the things wrong that other people do.  A funny thing happens when we do this though.  We usually are pointing out our own short comings and failure, only we can't even see beyond our disdain for others that we are doing this.  It isn't until we clean our own windows first that we begin to see more clearly in life.  If you think this is not rampant in our society, just read the daily news or look at a comment section on a news website.

Love In Our Words

I see people write or say things where they claim to love, yet their words say the opposite. For instance, people love to say that they "accept" the person but not their behavior. You could easily substitute the word "love" for "accept" in this case. While this statement sounds innocuous and fine to many people, it does not truly denote love and acceptance. In fact, it can be very harmful, hurtful and full of hatred.

Love is a passionate, heart felt and personal attachment to something or in this case, a person. Love is about accepting others as they are, not as we think they should be. Love is about fully uniting with that person in a way that transcends everything about them. Pure love is not judgmental and it does not force others to comply with our views of life. It is about holding the space open for someone and accepting them completely and unequivocally with nothing held in reserve.

While many of us state that we do truly love others in a pure form of love, we often fall short. While we say that we completely accept others, we often do it with thoughts in the back of our mind saying, the other person needs to be this way or that way. It is easy to mouth the words in claiming that we love others in a pure way. However, it is much more difficult to really do as we say.

In many ways, to love someone is to accept the person. To accept the person is to love them. Yes, the two words can mean different things but in many respects they are saying the same thing. The true definition may differ but the actions are basically the same.

In my view, there is either love in this world or an absence of love. If I continue on with my previous thought, there is acceptance or there is not acceptance of others in this world. While I may be coming close to an all or nothing, dark versus light explanation, that is not my intent. If you have pure love, than there cannot be an absence of love. If you have pure acceptance of others, than you cannot half way accept others or accept others with conditions. It all depends upon the degree of love or acceptance you have.

The other day, a person said that he accepted the person (we can also use the word "love" in place of "accepted") but this same person did not accept their behavior. While they thought this was perfectly fine and they were not showing any hatred whatsoever, I would not agree with them. You can not accept someone fully or love them fully but then go on to say you do not agree and accept their behavior. The two statements are at odds with each other. Yes, you can say you don't accept their behavior, but then you truly don't love or accept the person.

It is a very subtle distinction but a very important one. For when we say we love or accept the person but not the behavior, we are putting ourselves in judgment over that person and are acting in a very condescending manner. If you are going to do this, at least be honest enough with yourself and do not try to convince others that you accept or love the same person.

Being honest with others and yourself will truly move us forward as a civilization. Hiding our truth from our self will only move us into the realm of unsubstantiated opinions that we try to hold out as facts. All too often, we misconstrue our opinions as facts in life. We will be much better people if we can truly be aware and honest with ourselves. Anything less not only hurts us individually but it hurts society as a whole.

Just to say that we do not have hatred for others through what we say, is not enough. Our words can be uplifting and bring us together or they can be hurtful and full of pain, driving us apart. As humans and as a society, we need to really understand the difference.

(Above image of the song, Hope For Haditha Children from the CD, Relaxing Spa Music by Don Shetterly- (c) 08/1/06)


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