I Connect With Love

It is too easy these days to lock love up in the closet and say, "we will let you out when we are ready".  It seems that way in our society and in the world.  We need love so badly these days, but by shoving it into a deep dark cave, we're starving the world of so much.

I strive to connect with love, but sometimes as much as I hope to do this, I still fail.  Sometimes I see the faults in others.  Sometimes I think others should be this way or that way.

Sometimes I scream out in frustration at how I see the inhabitants of the world behaving.  Sometimes it is hard for me to connect with love.

If I catch myself, I take a step back and try to open my eyes further.  I try to see that which I am not seeing in others.  I try to see where it attaches to me in the things I get worked up about in my day.  For I know that if I am seeing the things I dislike in others, there is something about myself that I am not seeing clearly. 

When I connect with love, it is not about seeing the faults of another.  It is not about judging what they do or say or how they act.  It is not highlighting deficiencies my ego may see in another.  It is about accepting the person as they are in that moment.

It is not easy to do this...

I'll agree with what you may be thinking.  It is not easy to do this.  As many times as I succeed, I fall flat on my face.  Of course, I say this if I am only being truly honest with myself.  The rest of the time, it is just too easy to portray to others that I've got it all together when in reality, I'm just another human learning to walk the face of this earth.

Being real and authentic in how I connect with love is by far the greatest gift I can give humanity and the world.  Without unconditional, no-strings-attached love, we're only torturing ourselves and the rest of humanity.  The more we puff our ego up and hold ourselves to be something we are not, the more we will trip over the stones in our own path.

Love is not about announcing to the world just how enlightened you are or how much you love others.  Love is truly an action that is readily seen by all other inhabitants.  Words are not necessary to truly see love in action.

I wish everyone could connect with love more, but I cannot control the actions of others.  I can only control that which I put into the world and give to myself.  I can only control how I connect with love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Judging Negative People Is Not Human

I know, we all do it.  We claim we don't, but we do.  We'd like to think we don't, yet I bet if your life was under a magnifying glass, we would see this in full display.

Some are better at not doing it than others.  Some just seem to struggle with it all the time.

Judging negative people is not human.  We may think it is.  Our ego may convince us that it is, but to a person that is conscious, judgment is not a healthy thing.  It originates from the ego and is fed by the ego.

If you think that people are too negative or they are so negative that you must expel them from your life, you are judging them.  Who is to say you are right and they are wrong?  Who is to say that their level of negativity is too much?  It is a judgment call, not fact-based, even though every day I see people claim they have the right facts.

Screaming out for help...

Sometimes that individual is walking through a pretty hot fire and they are screaming out for help.  Yes, it is true that often times people do not really want the help because all they know to do in that moment is scream out in pain.  It is all they are equipped to do.  To shun them means they must walk alone, and sometimes those roads get pretty lonely.

Judging others does no good for them and quite frankly, it does no good for us.  It may make us feel like we are taking charge in life, but if you leave those that are struggling to stand up in the ditch, what good is that?  What good is it to put yourself in a position to judge others, when all you're doing is making yourself into a person that is not truly human?

A broader connection...

Often when things in other people bother us (including their negativity), it is because there is a broader connection.  There is something about that which makes us uncomfortable.  Maybe we haven't healed that part of our life.  Maybe we are still stuck in something unpleasant.  People cross our paths for a reason, and while shunning them is a choice you make, let it not be the only choice you entertain.

People are hurting in this world and they often need to know someone cares.  We pass memes along all day long and make statements, but we so often fail to see the full impact of those things.  Our words can become a knife slashed about to others who are already hurting.

Judgment stops healing and love...

When I've been in deep healing moments with other people, the judgment stops the healing from happening. It blocks love.  It is when you get rid of the judgment that the person knows you are real, authentic, and you are there for them.  The body and the mind know this from an innate level.  No words have to be spoken to understand this.

When we judge people we deem to be negative, we're not only elevating ourselves to a level that is not ours, but we're forcing them to go hide in a cave of loneliness, despair, and shame.  Let us rise to the occasion and see what the negativity means to our own life so maybe we can heal something we have not yet fully healed.

It is far better to help a limping person walk than to kick out their good knee.  Judging negative people is where we kick out the good knee and then look at them in disgust because they cannot stand.

We are far too quick to judge, and far too slow to truly understand how to love others and ourselves.  Judgment comes from judging ourselves first and we propagate it to all others.  By learning to show love to ourselves, we'll learn more how to show love to all.

And yes, there are some people that come through our lives that really push the limits.  Sometimes it is helpful to flee or take a rest from them, but to do so with unconditional love.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Love You But

All my life I heard this familiar statement: " I love you but", followed by some reason or statement.  It was almost as if their proof and reason why the word "but" was included held validity over you and anything you would say or think.

These days, I see "I love you but" statements and I cringe.  Most of the time no one realizes they are using them.  Many are so numb and disconnected that it becomes normal every day talk from one person to another.

In many ways, the "I love you but" statement comes when you don't agree with someone else.  In a way, I see it as passive aggressive.  It is like saying either get in line with my way of thinking, or just know that there is something wrong with you.  Sure, we don't come out and say that, but this statement strongly implies it.

Often I've heard the statement "I love you but" being used to bring a child in line and get them to act a certain way.  This is one of the main ways I heard this used growing up.  It doesn't matter if the behavior is wrong, it is there when someone feels it is their responsibility to control another.

In churches, it is common to say, "we love the sinner but hate the sin" and to me, this is just another iteration of the "I love you but" statement.  You can't hate what makes up a person and still fully love them at the same time.  You can disagree but you either love the person unconditionally or you don't.

People need others that love them without conditions because when they know they are accepted, it is then they can flourish.  When they are being controlled and manipulated and trampled upon, it is then that they wilt and die.

Too often we think we know what is best for others, yet we have not walked in their shoes.  We think that they have to subscribe to our thoughts or we cannot love them completely.  Love does not place limits on anything.  Love is freely available and given in its purest form.

There is just far too much judgment in this world, and to only dole out love when it is convenient for you is not only disrespectful to the other person, but to yourself.  If you only love people when they meet certain conditions, I can almost bet that they will show you what they want you to see, not who they really are.

Let's try having unconditional love for one another.  Let's not just make grandiose gestures that we do.  Let's not just go out and scream it to the world that we love one another.  Instead, may our words and actions align together and may those around us, innately know that they are loved.  May they know that it is more than mere words stated that are cloaked in judgment.

And if we can't even bring ourselves to unconditional love for another, let's at least try to show some respect.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Happy Holidays From Topanga

Oh my, let me take a moment to stretch here before I begin writing. Please take a moment and get up and stretch as well. Ahhh, doesn't that feel better now? There is nothing like stretching those claws up and out!

Anyway, hi, this is Topanga, the other cat that helps watch over Don. Corey explained yesterday that we are just giving Don the gift of writing his blog for a couple of days. It gives him a chance to rest up because he stays so busy. Sometimes I have to get a little pushy to get him to leave the computer alone and play with me.

Don is really special though because he loves all of us with unconditional love. Both Corey and I realize just how difficult life was for Don as he was growing up but we are here helping him try to become all he can be. He's really made great strides in all of this as well but we do realize that some days, it is still difficult for him. We just give him lots and lots of love!

My message this Christmas season is to just love one another with unconditional love. Try to not show your love with strings attached or with thoughts of what you feel is best for the person but truly accepting them just as they are in the moment. I know that's how Don accepts us and it makes me want to run and play with joy. It means the world to most people that they are just truly loved and accepted, not that they have to live a certain way or be a certain way to be loved and accepted.

We're all on this planet together and we really need to learn to love one another. Hopefully during this Christmas holiday season, we will all understand that a little more. In the meantime, show some love to your fellow human and cats of course. For when you show love, you get a ton back in return. Happy Holidays everyone and Merry Christmas to all!