Caring Is More Than Saying You Care

I see far too many times when people just don't even begin to go far enough.  They say they care, but their words just don't show they care.  I'm sorry to be the one to state this, but actions speak louder than words.

Caring is more than saying you care.  It really is.  If you can't listen and try to understand, your words are meaningless.  If you can't take the time to truly show you care, than your words just don't mean much.

All of what I'm saying is what most have probably heard before and it may sound harsh, but it really irritates me and disappoints me when I see people do this.  This is not behavior fitting to a human.  This is not what our civilization should be about.

There are many that are hurting.  There are many that just need a listening ear, a helping hand or someone that will say, "let me sit with you while you tell me what is weighing on your heart".  Instead we give the "I'm too busy" approach and tell someone, I'll call you later.

We give people the "don't bother me" approach because I need to watch my socks dry on the clothesline.  After all, don't they know that my TV programs and my latest social media rants are far more important.

We give the people, "subscribe to my way or hit the highway" approach because God only knows that we're right and everyone else is wrong.  They surely don't know what they want or what is good for them, but hey - that's ok, we know what is best.  What we have to say or how we think is far more important than anything someone else may need in that moment.

Caring is more than saying you care.  It is more than a social media like or share.  It is more than passing a happy thought and meme along.  It is truly showing another you care - in deep and personal ways that really make a difference.

Caring should not be the exception to our day like it is now.  Caring should be the norm.  Listening should be second nature, but instead we chatter along in our days, screaming and ranting online and to each other as if that is superior to listening.

If we can give caring to one another in this world, our human race is doomed.  We cannot sustain all that life requires without caring for one another.  The kingdoms of this planet will never prevail when caring is nothing more than an after thought.

So, what do you do each and every day in your own life to show people you care?  As you answer that, be brutally honest with yourself that you are showing caring in the way that you say you do.  When you do this, the entire world will benefit from your caring and there may still be hope for us all.

#Caring

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Showing We Care

Sometimes it is the little things we do that matter most.  All too often, we say we care but we fail to show it.  Many times, there is someone that just needs that small and tiny moment to know that someone cares.  Often, it is enough to help lift them up from the sinkhole they find themselves in.

For some reason, we as humans think we need to solve others problems and pains and situations.  Most of the time we can't, but we think we must.  So instead of offering a little bit to someone else, we just hold back because we feel like we're not enough.

Many times, someone just needs to know that there is someone else that cares and knows how to let them know this.  Often, it is in the smallest of acts of caring that someone else will get it.  They will find hope as a result to keep going.  Their day will become lighter because of one single moment that someone showed they care.

We do not need some grandiose moment of proving that we can solve the problem of another.  We do not need to feel like we need to solve someone's life problems.  All we need to do more times than not, is be there for that person in the smallest of ways.

It needs to be authentic...

Sometimes a phone call or heartfelt text can mean so much.  Sometimes a tweet or a note to just let them know they aren't alone.  It needs to be authentic.  It can't be just a run-of-the-mill response where it feels fake and insincere.

It needs to come from the deep recesses of the heart filled with love, and kindness and compassion.  It needs to be authentic and heart-felt.

Sometimes the smallest things you do can mean the whole world to a person that needs it in that moment.  You may never know just how much impact it has on their life, but they will know without a doubt.

Let us do more than saying we care.  Let us show others how much we care.  We do it not because it gives us another gold star, but because we have love and compassion for others.  Caring matters.  Showing we care in an authentic way matters greatly.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Words Have Consequences

Everyone seems to forget this.  It happens all too often.  We think that the words we write in a twitter feed or facebook post or share as comments on a news story are just words.  However, words do have consequences.

We forget that although we are writing these words to a computer screen, there are real people on the other side of our screen.  This used to be a problem only to forums and message boards, but these days, it permeates every corner of our society.

Words matter.  Words can hurt.  Words can lift others up.  It is how we use our words and our speech that either makes us more human or less.  We cannot just sit idly by and spew words, not thinking or caring what they mean to our own civilization and the world as a whole.

Words cannot just be for gain over another human or group or ideology.  Words cannot just be for winning at all costs.  Words cannot just be one thing you say one minute and then revise the next.  For our words are what we communicate to others and words do have consequences.  People will know us not only by our actions, but by our words.

Words hurt..

In this day we are living in, words seem to either hurt and inflame, or disregard the very nature of human existence.  Many are oblivious to what they say and they feel because of whatever hurt or experience has happened in their own life, they are free to say what they want.  In fact, many believe that it is their right to do so.

Yet, when the words are hurled back upon them, they think others are being unfair.  Never mind that what they spew is beyond horrible.  It is only what others say to them.  It is sad because while they cannot take their own medicine, they don't understand any longer that words have consequences.

Speaking out both sides of your mouth...

When you speak out of both sides of your mouth, what should those that hear think?  How will they know which conclusion to reach about what you say?  If you are constantly saying one thing just to win, but then you're acting and saying something different, your words are like standing in sinking sand.  There is nothing for anyone to solidly stand on.

I grew up in a house where individuals said one thing, but would do another.  I grew up in a house where one thing was said one moment, only for the next moment to be the complete opposite.  I grew up in a house where individuals would say whatever they wanted, not caring how deeply it hurt others and having absolutely no love in their hears.  They did not understand that words have consequences.

When people don't care about the words they spew, you can't get down in the gutter with them.  You're not going to win that battle because ignorance will prevail.  It takes deep love and compassion for them.  Sometimes it takes walking away from them, for if they never listen, the words will be meaningless and fall on ears that can never hear.

Words have consequences and the only replacement for them is love and compassion in our hearts.  We need to make sure we are not pointing our fingers at others for failing to understand this when we take the same approach.

These days, through all the screaming online and in the news, there are very few that really understand that words have consequences.  May we all begin to ponder how we use our words.  May we search our own hearts before pointing the fingers at everyone else.  After all, it is not just everybody else that is the problem. 

#Words

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Writing Helps the Mind and Body

I've always been a proponent of words and creativity throughout my life.  Writing has helped me so much in putting together some very difficult circumstances of life.  Writing helps the mind and body by allowing you to express yourself in a way that may not be easy to do.

For those who have been through trauma, child abuse, and other horrible experiences of life, writing gives you an outlet.  It allows you to venture into a world where you would otherwise not go.  It gives the brain the creative permission to look at things from a different perspective.

Three people that come to my mind immediately (and I know I'm leaving out a ton of others), use writing in a very unique and powerful way.  I enjoy reading the blogs of these individuals because they are just so down to earth and real and unique.

Trevor Marty...

One of these bloggers is Trevor Marty.  Now, Trevor plays some awesome music and he's a very creative person.  He's very real too and compassionate and caring and overall one heck of a great friend to know.  He has a simplistic way about him that just gets down to the heart of the matter in whatever he does and I really admire that about him.  One of his most recent endeavors is sharing adventure stories of his cat, Ms Mama Macy.  You've really got to check it out!

(click image to read blog)

Writing can be fun as in the case of my friend Trevor.  When writing is fun, it expands your brain and gives you new neural pathways to explore.  I remember as a kid that exploring the barns and corn cribs of the farms we lived on was like traveling to another world.  Writing allows you to do that and sometimes escape the world you're currently in.

When we can escape the world for a moment, it sometimes gives the mind and body a fresh new perspective.  It allows us to see something that we might not have seen and so the mind and body can come together as one, working towards a common goal of awareness.

Surviving My Past.net

Another great blogger is Matt, my friend who writes SurvivingMyPast.net .  Matt is one of the most caring people I've met and is always supportive, no matter how upside his day may be going.  He's very real and open and honest and this shines through in his writing.  I seem to identify so much with what he writes.  Even issues that I thought were healed and sealed in my life, were opened back up with me being able to see them from a different perspective.  He's got a way in doing that.  You should really check out his blog and YouTube podcasts especially if you know of anyone that's a male survivor of child abuse.

(click image to read blog)

For a long time, I used writing as a tool to heal my life.  There was no way I could verbally express much of this to anyone.  Yet, I had so much pain locked up in me and the only way I could find some sanity in a day was to write.  I didn't write for others to read it.  I wrote to help make sense of it in my own life and in my mind and body.

Savage Lost...

The other person that is one awesome writer is my partner in life.  He writes about the history of music, but in a way that if you did not experience it, you feel like you were there when it happens.  He has such a great way with telling a story that captivates you.  Its more than history to him.  It is about living through these wonderful moments of years gone by as he and many others were dealing with the ever changing kaleidoscope of life.  Take a look at one of his articles from Savage Lost (1960 Florida Garage Bands) he wrote and see if you don't feel like you're right there living the music scene with him. 

(click to read image)

We don't have to be perfect writers.  I don't consider myself to be a perfect writer.  I just write from my experiences and my heart.  That's what these folks do that I've mentioned.

I'm an individual that is constantly expanding my horizons and so I love to read things by different people.  I don't want everything to be the same subject every day because that doesn't help the mind and body grow or evolve.  I challenge myself to read things that I normally would not read and I challenge you to do the same.

For me, writing is about putting down on paper all the thoughts in my head.  Some days, I think I do it more for myself than anything and other people benefit as a result.  Yes, it takes courage at times to share it publicly, but don't let fears and insecurities hold you back.  Just put the words out there!  You'll be amazed at what happens after that.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Does Society Enable Suicide

This subject is near and dear to my heart.  Not only have I known people who have committed suicide, but I myself have attempted it several times.  Fortunately I've made it this far in my life and made it through those moments, but it hasn't been easy.

As I'm reading about Robin Williams dying from suicide, I'm reminded of this horrible moment that way too many face.  His death puts a spotlight on it in our society, but unfortunately in a few days or weeks, society may well forget what happened.  They may even fault him in some form or another, but sometimes it seems like nothing will change.  It seems like nothing in our society will get done when it comes to suicide.  Does society enable suicide.

How does our society enable suicide?  There are many ways of course and most are oblivious to them.

First and foremost, is that society does not want to talk about suicide.  There is no fostering of a place to go for those that are struggling with this.  Yes, there are some hotlines, but how many people would know where to call if they needed to?  How many people would even think to pick up the phone?  Even with all the outreach, we are still seeing people commit suicide because they felt like they had no place to go and no one to talk to.  (See information for suicide hotline below)

When Life Was Taken Away

Since writing the blog post about Focus On What You Want, I've been thinking about how I view the lack in my life.  In fact, I talked about in this blog post that when everything was taken away from me, it changed me from there on in life.  Nothing was the same and it laid the foundation for what I was would know throughout my life.  It was not something I consciously hoped and wished for, but I was dumped into.

It all started when I was a young baby and my father was in the hospital for hepatitis.  Why he was struggling with this, I don't know, but it was so contagious that my mother had to make a choice between seeing me or seeing him.  As the story goes that I was told, she chose him.  I was left to be taken care of by the nurses in the hospital.  While I was not quite old enough to remember this in plain detail, I'm sure it was one of the earliest moments when life was taken away from me.  Imagine being a small child that is left in the arms of strangers to nurture and love you, but who were busy taking care of others.  Imagine how a small child would view that, knowing their basic necessities were only attended to when someone had a chance, not because they were loved and desired.

Of course, the next time when life was taken away was when at the age of 5, I wake up to a nightmare of laying in a pool of blood as my father tried to quickly clean me up, acting as if nothing happened when  my mom came home.  From there, I feared everything about life including pain and love.  For everything had been taken away from me in life and nothing was safe and secure.  Other moments would fill in the cracks and crevices should I forget such as going through my days with little food and having my stomach starve for the slightest thing to eat. The moments of shivering in the cold of the house from the drafts of the winter winds and inadequate heating or the time my older brother felt a whack in the head with the end of the round point shovel was warranted.  School was no more of a refuge as I was constantly picked on and made to feel like I was not one of my other classmates since math was beyond comprehension for me.

Crises Wake Us Up

Crises Wake Us Up
Mountains Of NC

If you would have told me at one time, that going through a crises would be something to wake me up, I probably would have knocked you to the ground.  My life, like many others, has had some serious things to overcome.  None of these events have been the easiest to deal with or experience.

Yet, I am beginning to learn that instead of fearing and hating every part of what has happened to me, if I begin to look at these moments without darkened lenses, I see a much different picture.  They truly are there for me to help me grow and find my way on my own path.  Even as I write these words, I still fully know how difficult it is to comprehend and own this awareness.

Imagine for a moment if you are walking along a mountain path.  If the path was straight and level for a distance, you might get so caught up in the view, that you forget to watch out for your path and where you are walking.  However, if there was a rock in your path that you stepped on, your leg and foot might twist a little.  As your leg begins to twist, your eyes go from the scenery back down to the path in front of you so you can find your footing.  Consider that the rock is the crisis in life and that by stepping on the rock, you are once again focused on your path ahead.  Now, while you are immersed in the beauty of the mountain scenery, you have your eyes focused on the path ahead.  The rocks help keep you from falling off the mountain.

Top Book Reviews July 2011

To learn more about what books I review, please go to the following post on Top Book Reviews (May 4, 2011). On the 5th of every month, my goal is to post a review of 1 or more books that
have had a strong impact on my life.

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew (Male Abuse Survivors)

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew is the July book review. Mike Lew has also written a book called "Leaping Upon The Mountains" and I am actually quoted on page 199.

My quote is "It is not your fault. The abuse was nothing you had control of, nor did you have the power to stop it. The responsibility for the abuse belongs to the abuser.



In the early days of my recovery, there were very few resources for males who had been sexually abused as children. I remember reading "The Courage To Heal" and while it was good, it did not really apply to men. Mike Lew's ground breaking book, Victims No Longer, helped me realize for the first time, that I was not alone as a victim. More importantly, it helped me to realize that healing was possible.

Victims No Longer gives that touch that men need in their healing. All too often, men are too afraid to come out about the abuse they suffered because society says, little boys should be in control and things like this should happen. While I'm not saying it is easy for women to come forward, there are different obstacles that men face in bringing out their stories of abuse. This book helps to make that happen and it helps men to know they are not alone. What Ellen Bass did for women, Mike Lew has done for men!

I had the pleasure of interviewing Mike Lew for the Voices Organization newsletter and also meeting him in some workshops. He is a very compassionate and caring individual that really tries to help men find a path to healing. I do not know when this happened for sure but I think Mike Lew was featured on the Oprah Show many years ago.


Further Reading:
1) Mike Lew - Don't Give Up (YouTube Video)
2) Mike Lew Events 2011 to 2012 (blog post 03/22/11)



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If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
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Intolerance Is Not Love

I posted something yesterday on my twitter feed and within a short time, I lost well over 50 followers.  I lost count at some point because they were coming in so fast, I could not keep up.  It amazes me just how intolerant people are.

I realize gay marriage can be a volatile topic, but I try to be very respectful, warm, and compassionate in all that I write and share.  I don't try to force you to believe in what I do, but I don't shy away from putting out there in the world, that which impacts my life.  I try to stay open to all things, all thoughts, views, beliefs and actions.  Sometimes I may fall flat on my face doing this, but I try hard.

Many of the profiles that unfollowed were of "enlightened people" or at least that is what they claimed.  Some of the profiles claimed love and tolerance and being open.  Some gave the impression that they were the best people in the world.  It surprised me reading some of the profiles because either those are just words they wrote, or they don't understand what they wrote in the profile.

I step outside my comfort zone...

You will not see me back away from issues because they are too tough to deal with in our world.  I know that the only way I can learn and grow is if I step outside of my comfort zone.  Now, don't get me wrong in what I'm saying here.  There are plenty of things that I see which absolutely don't resonate with me and even if I step outside of my comfort zone, I don't bathe in them.

Welcoming thoughts and ideas and beliefs you don't agree with helps us understand one another and it helps us to grow.  It does not mean we have to agree or disagree with these things.  It does not mean we have to embrace them.  We can expose ourselves to them and then see how they apply to our own life.  It means that we can evaluate them and then decide what we want to do with these thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and opinions.  It can help us understand another individual from a new perspective.

It is not love...

To categorically reject something you see posted is shortsighted in my mind.  It is not what makes a thinker great.  It is not what makes a person truly human in my view.  It is not love.  It is intolerance.

I was saddened yesterday when this happened and I was grateful that a few encouraged me publicly and privately.  I try to be a very caring and respectful person, so when that many reject one little tweet I made, it really hurts.  I'm sensitive and I don't deal with rejection very well.  It was the absence of love and tolerance.

I want to challenge us to be more than we are.  I want to challenge us to include more people than we do.  I want to challenge us to listen more than we do and allow some other thought, idea, belief or opinion to look us straight in the eye.

As a civilization, I think we can be more than we are.  I think instead of intolerance being the new norm in life, we can rise to meet the possibilities of the future.  We can rise up with love.  If we walk hand in hand, we will be stronger, than if we cut the hands off of our fellow humans.

To those that unfollowed, I'm sorry that you decided to do this.  I hope you will reconsider and challenge yourself to greater heights.  I hope you will help me understand things that I don't understand or know at this moment.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Thankful Abundance In Life

I'm thankful today, for all I've been given.

I'm thankful for all I've been given in life. This includes the pain, the bad stuff and the difficult lessons of life.

I'm thankful for the supportive and caring people around me. I feel the love so strong in this moment.

I'm thankful for those who showed me harm in my life, for they have helped me grow in ways I most likely would not have.

I'm thankful for the beauty that is all around me. This includes those parts of our world who cast shadows in the night and darkness during the day. For it shows that light is all around me.

I'm thankful for the sounds and music around me. I hear the screams and the silence but together they show me the full width of the sound spectrum.

I'm thankful for restful moments in my life. They bring moments of reflection through the confusion of stress.

I'm thankful for my fears in life. For my fears and discomfort give way to showing me, areas of growth in my life and helping to keep my feet on the path.

I'm thankful for everything in my life. I realize all the events that swirl around me like a tornado, will lead to days of sunshine and calm.

I'm thankful today, for all I've been given.

I'm truly blessed.

I breathe it all in.

I Was Lifted Up From My Own Pain

It has been a struggle this week.  So much has happened that I personally don't agree with, but then I see the human side show the dark ugliness that this world has to offer.  The pain and fear I felt were horrible.  They were overwhelming.  I wondered how I could deal with what I was experiencing.

After hiding in my own cave, I tried reaching out to others a little.  Trying to offer a little support, I just gave that hello.  When I did, I found out a few people that really reached back to me.

Out of my pain and fear, I noticed that they offered their support.  I was lifted up from my own pain because while I was trying to be there for them, they were there for me.

All too often we tell others what they should do or how they should feel or act.  We dictate what they should believe or think.  We demand that they see we are right while condemning them for being wrong.  It only inflicts more pain and hurt and division on each and everyone of us.  It only makes us less human when we do this.

It is in the support we offer to others...

To rise up as humans and be all that we can, it is in the support we offer to others, without judgment or ridicule.  It is with a compassionate heart of love, not one that merely talks the talk, but fully walks the walk that pushes us to greater heights.

I often am confused and amazed at how people demand others believe the way they do and if they don't, there is something wrong with them.  They shun them for how they feel or what they believe.  Yet, they want others to follow them.  How can we do both of these things at the same time and expect a different result?

Each one of us has to answer for what we do with our lives.  It is up to us whether we truly show love to every person all the time, or its just something we practice on Sundays and when it is beneficial to our own life.

Love and compassion and caring is not something we do occasionally.  It should be who we are at the core.  While many feel they are this way, the evidence in this world shows how misled we all are.

It is time that we learn to support one another through the good and the bad.  It is time that we learn how to reach out to one another with love and compassion, not with hatred and self-righteousness as our moral compass.

This all reminds me of the song by Brian Wilson, Love And Mercy.

Hey, love and mercy, that's what we need tonight
So love and mercy to you and your friends tonight
Love and mercy, that's what you need tonight
Love and mercy tonight
Love and mercy tonight

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Why Are We Afraid Of Suffering?

Afraid Of Suffering

So many humans are afraid of suffering in our lives. To be honest, I was very afraid of suffering at one time and thought it was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Before you think I'm some pie-in-the-sky type of thinker, let me assure you that my life has been met with much adversity. All you have to do is read my book and you'll see quickly to what I am referring.

Often though, people just want us to think about thoughts of being happy or love and forget all the suffering we are going through. Many urge us to quit crying, move on from the pain and the struggles in life. While these people purport to desire that others find their true calling or purpose, I actually believe, pushing someone to "quit suffering" is doing more of a harm than a disservice.

Stunned At Conversion Disorder Treatment Advice

Today I was reading an email alert that I get about a condition I know all too well.  I am stunned at what I read.  The advice given by the medical site on this situation should have a warning label attached to it "harmful if followed".

On an Allnurses Yahoo Group, a question is asked and the answers are unbelievable.  The question is if an elderly patient believes she needs a wheelchair, do you allow her to have it?  My thought is, why not?  What would bring anyone to even ask this?  I'm sure that not all on this yahoo group think this way, so please don't think I'm painting the entire group in the same manner.

One response said they didn't know in this case, but with the kids they were caring for, a doctor told them to make the kids walk no matter what.  Please pause for a moment while I pick myself up off the floor because of disbelief.  How idiotic of medical advice can you get?  How harmful can medical caregivers such as these on this site be?

Male Survivor, Ray Dotch on Gayle King

Ray Dotch, was the producer from the Oprah show that called and initially interviewed me for the Male Survivor show that Oprah did. I was so impressed with Ray because he was so sensitive, caring and compassionate. It wasn't easy talking to a total stranger and sharing some of the most intimate details of my abuse.

Ray seemed to understand as I was describing some of these events. Little did I fully know at the time just how much he understood. When we got to the taping of the show, Oprah explained how he had come out to her the night before about his own abuse. Seeing him sitting in the audience and sharing some of his story was a moment I will never forget.


In fact, the entire experience of being part of the 200 men who spoke out against child abuse was something that still has a profound effect upon me today. Seeing men who are male survivors come forward and begin to heal brings joy to my heart that this experience was worth every moment of the emotional roller coaster that I went through.

I'm proud that Ray and many others, including myself, had the courage to come out in such a public way and let the world know that child abuse was not okay and that those who have been through this are not alone. I'm proud of Oprah for doing this show and giving it the much needed attention it deserves. There are other TV shows out there that make a mockery out of male survivors to get ratings but Oprah and Ray Dotch along with their entire staff did an excellent job of respecting those of us who have experienced child abuse.

Listen to the clip from the Gayle King show

Ray Dotch Takes A Stand Against Male Sexual Abuse




For Further Reading:
Oprah Tyler Perry and 200 Male Survivors Stand Together




Blog Post & Images (c) 1/24/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Respect

I see a lot of name calling these days in our society and throughout the world.  I'm quite sure I am not the only one that sees this.  Our news and social media feeds are full of it.  It is political season and so its part of the "political game" anymore which is beyond sad.

Respect is not something that our society seems to know.  What was once considered rude and ill-mannered to say is now just the normal talk of the day.  It used to be said more in private and now to engage readers and get views, it is said as if it is the latest tidbit of the day.

I find it sad and disgusting to be honest.  I grew up in a home where my mom was disrespected.  She worked her butt off and all anyone wanted to do was sit their butts down in front of the TV while she waited on them hand and foot.  She worked a full time job too, but there were far too many lazy ones in our house.

Said the monster in the house...

I saw my mom, a beautiful and caring and compassionate lady, being disrespected and beat and screamed at because of my father's anger and my older brother's childish "all about me" rantings and shenanigans.  It was always something she did wrong to provoke it of course and the begging of forgiveness was always done.  "I'm so sorry - I don't know what got into me - I will never do it again - but you should not upset me when I've had a bad day" said the monster in the house.

I see women being shown no respect and it bothers me to no end.  I am saddened by it.  I am full of rage and anger over it.  Yet, where do I go with my anger and rage and sadness?  Do I scream like everyone else?

If I scream, no one is listening anyway.  So, I turn to writing the words that I do in hopes that it will change someone.  It isn't the other person that needs to change, it is each one of us individually.  If we are not part of the solution, we are just as much a part of the problem that we abhor!

Everyone deserves our respect...

Women, children, people different from us and people we can't stand to be around deserve our respect.  We need to respect others, even if we've been taught not to respect others.  Our parents taught us what they know, but that does not mean we need to stay stagnated in our life and repeat their beliefs and teachings.  It is time for each one of us to do some serious soul searching and clean out our own closets.

Respect comes from what you allow to take up residency in your own heart.  It is an outward manifestation of what is inside of you.  You either respect people and show love or you spout the latest lines of hatred found on social media and the news.

Respect is something we all deserve and if we deserve it, then we need to give it out to others.  If we fail to respect others, than we have failed to respect ourselves.  Let us lift the world up by showing what we can be in this society, not just how low we can go with one another.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Growing Up Hungry

If you grow up with a stomach that is hungry, how will you ever come to understand that there is plenty.  For if the stomach does not have enough which is a basic component of human existence, then how can there be enough abundance in the world.

Hunger confuses the small mind and carries its power into adulthood.  Even when the adult has plenty to eat, the memory of the past says, "but it is not always certain there will be enough to eat."

We need to stop gorging ourselves and begin caring more about those that do not have enough to eat.  Not all of them are in another part of the world, but many are.  Some are in your own neighborhood, schools, and churches.  It doesn't take much to find them.

Thanksgiving is this month where instead of seeing how much we can stuff down our throats, why not try helping someone that maybe would enjoy just a regular and normal meal.

Children International is a place that I support.  Please check them out as I know they are legit and trustworthy.  If you have something in your local area, see what you can do to help them as well.  When we are down and out, sometimes a helping hand is what gives us hope!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Grounding To Ocean Wave Sounds

Sometimes in life, I need to find centering and grounding.  Nature is one of the best places for me to do this because when I'm in nature, I feel like I am home.

This week, I got the chance to go to the ocean and walk on the beach on two different days.  There is something about walking on the beach in bare feet with the sand covering my toes.  Feeling the cool ocean water rush over my feet is an exhilaration.

Just seeing the waves crash off shore, hearing the roar of the ocean and seeing the sun glisten down on the water is so calming and centering and grounding.  Seeing the clouds roll through and change shades of white and grey is a pleasant backdrop.

Seeing the birds scamper back and forth with the ocean waves as they forage for food almost looks like a symphony to me.  They repeat this behavior in unison, barely caring if I need to walk by them.  

I could walk along the ocean for miles and miles.   I could feel the salt air on my lungs for days on end.  I could just lose myself as I walk through the sands of the beach and listen to the sounds.

Centering and Grounding at the ocean is exactly what I need right now.  I'm thankful I live close enough to do this at almost any time.

I needed to walk on the beach this week.  I badly needed it.  I needed to hear the ocean wave sounds.

My hope and dream is that one day I can get up in the morning and walk on the beach and then before I go to bed at night.  It is my hope and dream.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/1/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Where Is The Heart Of Our Society?

I've been doing some work on a project that takes me to different cities.  In these cities, I don't just travel the "ritzy" places, but I also travel into the areas that most have never seen or will ever see.  It isn't the places where tourists go or the places you take your family to a Sunday afternoon dinner.

These places are where you see the ladies of the night walking the street, and the people pushing their shopping carts loaded with their belongings.  These places are where you the depressed, sad, and lonely faces as you hear people talking to themselves as if they have an imaginary friend right beside them.  These places are where the buildings are boarded up with iron bars protecting them from those struggling to survive in this life.

Yet, at the same time, it is not uncommon to see the wealth of our society and even the not so wealthy drive past these areas, as if they are in a hurry.  It is not uncommon to see people so accustomed to these things around them, that I doubt most are aware it exists any longer.  Of course, you never see the local or national politicians come through these areas asking for votes.  You don't see the charity drives taking place here, nor do you see businessman recruiting these people for jobs.

Does Your Word Mean Anything?

More and more these days, we are showing our true colors to everyone and we are not always realizing that we do this.  Often, there are many that will say one thing and then totally act as if they never said it.  This seems to be the pattern of how the "people in the media" do things and it is carrying over to everyone from every walk of life.

Does your word mean anything?  Do you say one thing today and then act as if you've never said it or that you didn't mean what you said?  Maybe you make a statement and then try to parse the words out in 50 different ways, focusing on the thought that you didn't mean for it to be there.

Yes, I know it is possible to try and explain things away later and make it sound as if our words were misconstrued, but when you say something with a particular intent, trying to go back on it later with a different meaning causes a trust discrepancy.

Growing up, I lived in a house where doublespeak was practiced.  What would be said one time, would mean something totally different the next time.  It was like the same statement or word would have two different meanings and there was no way you could figure that out at the time.  It could be used as a weapon against you regardless of how it was used.

Which one is true?

I see people who talk against or publicly endorse others, but then they switch their positions as if they were changing their socks.  Their word means hardly anything because how do you trust what they first said about a person or what they are now saying.  Which one is true?  If they changed their minds on the person that easily, how do you know if what they say will mean anything in the future.

Sure, I realize that sometimes after further evaluation we see things different than when we made particular statements.  However, I think we are too quick to speak and we really need to think more before we speak.  Just to speak up and get noticed and claim power is not a reason for endorsing or criticizing someone else.

If we want our word to mean anything, we have to be more careful of what we say.  If we are freely speaking, but not thinking, our word will not mean anything to anyone.  Yes, it might make for good publicity and getting in the spotlight, but long term, your base of support will be built upon loose sand.

 

 
Doublespeak is not helpful to anyone in the long term and while you might fool some of the people some of the time, you won't fool all of them all of the time.  Yes, that's a cliche', but it is so true.  People can and do see through doublespeak and the only way for your word to mean anything is to mean what you say.

Our word is what others hear from us.  If it is not backed up by a compassionate heart and a caring mind, it becomes as noise in the wind.  If it is not backed up by consistency, it becomes nothing more than a wave that comes into the shore and leaves again.  May we learn how to make our word mean something so we can help elevate humanity across this planet.

#Word 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Healing By Listening

Sometimes the most simplest thing can help people heal in ways they never thought was possible.  Healing by listening is one such way and it is powerful.  Too often we think we've got to solve the problems of other people and sometimes listening is all they need.

As humans, we often want to help others.  We think that by telling them what they should do is the best offer we can give to them.  We think that by telling them what we think is right in this situation is somehow helpful.  Unfortunately all too often we miss the mark.

Healing by listening is powerful because it says to the other person, "you are valuable".  It says "you matter".  It says, "I am here for you".

Healing by listening is without judgment.  It isn't your agenda or how you view the situation that matters.  It is just being there for the other person as if you are holding the space open for them.  It is being there as a safety net to catch them as they try to piece things together.