Mike Lew Upcoming Events 2011 to 2012

I'm very particular in who I publicize events for on this blog and usually they never ask me to do this.  However, there are some people who have had such a significant impact on me, that I publish the information in hopes that it will help others.  Please don't think that by doing this, I do this for everyone.  The criteria for doing so are quite involved and very personal.

So here is Mike Lew's upcoming events in 2011 and 2012.  Please feel free to share this especially with people who are male survivors of child sexual abuse.  Mike is the author of Victims No Longer and Leaping Upon The Mountains.  You may also want to check this video out (blog post November 26, 2010 - Don't Give Up)

List Of Events:

Top Book Reviews July 2011

To learn more about what books I review, please go to the following post on Top Book Reviews (May 4, 2011). On the 5th of every month, my goal is to post a review of 1 or more books that
have had a strong impact on my life.

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew (Male Abuse Survivors)

Victims No Longer by Mike Lew is the July book review. Mike Lew has also written a book called "Leaping Upon The Mountains" and I am actually quoted on page 199.

My quote is "It is not your fault. The abuse was nothing you had control of, nor did you have the power to stop it. The responsibility for the abuse belongs to the abuser.



In the early days of my recovery, there were very few resources for males who had been sexually abused as children. I remember reading "The Courage To Heal" and while it was good, it did not really apply to men. Mike Lew's ground breaking book, Victims No Longer, helped me realize for the first time, that I was not alone as a victim. More importantly, it helped me to realize that healing was possible.

Victims No Longer gives that touch that men need in their healing. All too often, men are too afraid to come out about the abuse they suffered because society says, little boys should be in control and things like this should happen. While I'm not saying it is easy for women to come forward, there are different obstacles that men face in bringing out their stories of abuse. This book helps to make that happen and it helps men to know they are not alone. What Ellen Bass did for women, Mike Lew has done for men!

I had the pleasure of interviewing Mike Lew for the Voices Organization newsletter and also meeting him in some workshops. He is a very compassionate and caring individual that really tries to help men find a path to healing. I do not know when this happened for sure but I think Mike Lew was featured on the Oprah Show many years ago.


Further Reading:
1) Mike Lew - Don't Give Up (YouTube Video)
2) Mike Lew Events 2011 to 2012 (blog post 03/22/11)



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http://www.donshetterly.com

If any part of this post is used or shared, a link back to this site is required.
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/
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Oprah, Male Survivors Airing March 10

I have found out that the episode of 200 Men (Male Survivors) standing together is airing again on March 10, 2011. This originally aired on November 5, 2010. In case you missed it or want to see this again, make sure you watch the Oprah show on this day. Check the schedule out on Oprah.com in case there are any last minute changes.

It is a good thing that this is showing again because for those that missed it, they will be able to see a very powerful show. I was one of the 200 men that stood together that day saying, no more, no way, no how to child abuse. I won't go into all the details here but if you check out the links below, you can see more about my experiences with this and what it meant to me.

One in six boys (1 in 6) are abused as children before they reach the age of 16. Think about that for a moment. Identify 6 boys that you know and then realize that 1 of them may very likely have suffered through child sexual abuse. It happens far more than we realize and far more than we want to admit in this country.

While everyone is often so afraid of that convicted sex offender living down the street or that perp hiding behind the bushes, most perpetrators of this crime are known to the children. Whether it is family members such as a father, mother, brother, cousin, uncle or even a minster, priest, teacher, boy scout leader, the victims more generally than not, know who the perpetrator is.

Please don't think for a moment that this affects some but does not touch every area of our society. We all are touched by this in one way or another. For when a child is abused (whether they are female or male), their life is altered and they are forced to deal with a living hell as they heal from it. We cannot stand by in our society and let this happen. We cannot turn a blind eye to any indication of this taking place around us.

We must protect our children at all cost. For if we do not stand with our children, we stand opposed to them and condone this behavior.

For more information about my experiences and some of the show highlights and resources, please visit the following links. Let your friends know that this show is airing again. Below this post are easy buttons for you to share this post by facebook, twitter, email and other ways. Please make use of these things and do your part to let the world know.


For More Information and Resources:
1) Oprah, Tyler Perry and 200 Male Survivors Stand Together
2) My Interview in the Daytona Beach News Journal
3) Interview in the Orlando Sentinel - Hal Boedeker Blog
4) Read About My Experiences On The Oprah Show
5) Oprah.com - 200 Men - Resources
6) Male Survivor Organization
7) Don Shetterly Official Website, Author Music Artist, Massage Therapist




Blog Post & Images (c) 3/4/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com

Father's Touch, Part 3

This is part 3 of a series in reviewing the impact of the book, Father's Touch, by Donald D'haene. Please see PART 1 for the beginning of the review.

Here are the links to all three parts of this book review.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

The following is an email that I sent to Donald D'haene after finishing his book, Father's Touch. The book had touched me so greatly that I just needed to share it with him. I have edited out some comments because they were personal in nature.

Dear Donald,

I just finished your book this morning. I’m speechless.. but in awe of your courage and healing at the same time. This is a powerful book. This is a story that so many need to hear. There’s a lot to take in from the book.

I often tell people that child molesters are not some unknown dark, evil, dirty looking man standing in the bushes by the street corner. In many instances, the child molesters are known to the children. I make people squirm but sometimes I tell them that if you really want to find a child molester, walk into any church on a Sunday, and they will be there. People get so upset when I say that but I know it is the truth.

Since the paralysis, I’ve struggled with religion and spirituality. I was so brainwashed into believing things that humans dictated as the absolute truth. It took me years to associate with others who didn’t believe and think like me. I’ve come a long ways on this. I really don’t have any use for religion in my life but I am learning what spirituality is all about and it’s not like anything I was taught. It is not about some white haired big dude sitting up in the sky trying to strike me down for every little infraction of some law stated or not stated. Of course though, I do believe in Angels but my angels are not church angels. To me there is a big difference.

Donald, you did an excellent job of telling a story that needed to be told. I will forever be grateful that you shared this book with me. You and I share many similarities and one day I’ll be able to write about my stuff more. Right now, it is broad strokes and small amounts because it is overwhelming. Like you, my dad denies everything and clings to his church.

I so loved how you weaved the story through a trip with Maurice.. brilliant and it kept me feeling like I was right there in the car with you.

Others need to hear our stories so that hopefully we can prevent others from going through this and help those begin to heal that have already experienced this. Others need to hear the horrors I faced as well and how I managed to come back from paralysis and near death to where I am today. There is a courage we survivors share and a strength like many do not know. It is what got us through and it is what carries us forward.

Thank you for sharing your life, Don

As I have stated, this book was an excellent book and very well written. I hope that you will click the link to get a copy of the book and read it as well. I'm so thankful that I have been introduced to Donald D'haene and his book, Father's Touch.

Click here to Purchase the book on Amazon, Father's Touch.


(c) 11/9/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Father's Touch, Part 2

This is part 2 of a series in reviewing the impact of the book, Father's Touch, by Donald D'haene. Please see PART 1 for the beginning of the review.

Here are the links to all three parts of this book review.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

In this part of the book review, I'm going to pull out various passages that stood out to me and connected deeply within me. I'll try to share how they impacted my mind at the time I read them.

1) Blew them to smithereens

“Mother told us to tell her if it happened again, but she couldn’t stop the game from happening. Father kept a shotgun in the pantry. On several occasions, he blew our favorite pets to smithereens. We knew enough not to get papa angry.” (page 99)

Wow, this hit me like a ton of bricks dropped from the world's tallest building. If you know anything about my own story, you know that I witnessed my cats being killed. I am haunted by their screams to this day and if anyone dares to hurt an animal, you have no place in this world in my eyes. Even my dog that I had was shot at and to the day she died, the Veternarian that spent the final hours with her could still see the buckshot lodged in her legs. There were other stories that involved one of our sheep, my brother's little dog, a cat I had while I was gone to college and probably too many more that I cannot even keep track of. In all cases, my father either got mad at the animals or thought they were getting too much of our affection or just wanted to teach us a lesson. You see, animals to me were always sacred and seeing something I truly loved and that loved me in return be hurt or killed made me into a believer that if I did something to upset my father, it may be me that was hurt or killed. As a child, I dreamed of a day when the pets would rise up against the humans and go kick some serious butt! In those moments, I knew my father would be one of the first to get his butt kicked.


2) Block them out of my mind

"Fellow Christians believed in placing negative experiences behind them through the practice of prayer and positive thinking. Putting my path behind me seemed far easier than dealing with the dysfunction within my family. We certainly had troubles and I wanted to make them disappear. I did have bad memories, but they only showed up in the reels that played in my mind. New experiences were added to that memory bank daily. The only way I could feel better was to make believe each situation was non-existent. Each would be assigned a fresh reel." (page 140)

This part gets me on a couple different sides. In church we were just supposed to forgive and forget and be happy people in Jesus. While I know many people find solace in that, it is hard to be happy in Jesus when your father is abusing you and telling you that this is what God wants him to do. It seemed like those that wanted to abuse me could do whatever they wanted and then go pray and ask forgiveness for it. In addition to the church and the people who just turned their heads and closed their eyes, my dad was into the Norman Vincent Peale books that basically you were just supposed to think happy. I'll tell you, it is hard to be truly happy when your life is being ripped apart fiber by fiber. The only thing I could do during this time was escape into a world that I would hardly remember and act as if nothing was going on. I became a good actor in life. For if I didn't hide all that was going on, you can sure as bet, father's rage would be waiting for you.


3) Am I really going to charge him?

"In my bed this night, the peace of sleep eludes me. Am I really going to charge my father with something that isn't real to me? Life with Daniel seemed to last an eternity, but I can't remember my father's face, how he felt, or the sound of his voice. I wanted to force him out of my mind, and I did. However, why are the home-movie reels so vivid? How do I conjure up such images and yet feel nothing? It happened to my other self. I know it did." (page 156)

Even though I know what happened and even though I have indisputable evidence of these events, my mind loves to play tricks with me. My mind likes to minimize all that I went through and say, this really wasn't that bad. Being raped isn't such a bad thing after all. And yet, most people would cringe at hearing these words and in reality for most of my life, this was normal. I have had to stand on my own in what I remember and in the failings of my mind to piece my life back together. I remember one attorney that really wanted to me to take my father to court but at the time, I did not want to endure the torture that it would put me through. Now, I'm at a different point and the thought of taking him to court has crossed my mind more than once. I'm not the weak little boy that he once knew and he is no longer the big mean monster that I always hid from in fear.


4) Touch makes my skin crawl

"I can't stand being touched by men or women. Especially if someone comes from behind and touches me before I know who it is. Oooh! It makes my skin crawl - I don't know why. Is that stupid or what? The fact that I don't like being touched is kind of sad to me. But just talking about it helps." (page 195)

For a long time, if anyone got close to me, let alone tried to touch me my skin would crawl like ants running up and down my body. That may sound gross but for a long time in life, I would constantly check my skin to see if there were bugs on it. It took a great deal of courage and strength for me to go to massage school and learn to be touched. It was agonizing at first but now after the deep healing work I have done on my body, touch is something I welcome. Of course, my body is very sensitive to touch and so what some may consider extremely light body work is indeed very deep work to me. It does not take much for me to get a tremendous amount from just a light touch. My body was taught to fear and avoid touch but since I have been reclaiming that part of me, I'm finding there is a world that is so healing and so beautiful and full of compassion.


5) Healing has no graduation class

"The truth is that the path I chose is one of the reasons that I am alive today. I found my way of surviving. I want to continue my journey of self discovery, but there is no graduation class, no point where the past means nothing. My experiences and choices have molded and shaped a character that is truly unique. I believe that if every victim were to experience the awakening I have, he would find the world is not such a bad place to inhabit. I have an awareness, a sixth sense that cannont be bought, taught, or taken away from me." (page 288)

I so love this part of Donald's book because I find it so true. To many times I have been told by others that they hope I get to the point where I have moved on. I've heard this in so many ways from so many and while it is a nice thought, my life is about going further into discovery and awareness. I want to reclaim all parts of myself no matter how difficult it is. I want to become more aware and more conscious of who I am. In my view, healing from trauma or child sexual abuse does not have an end point or as Donald says, "graduation class." It is a journey and while the journey may put time and space between the events and where an individual is at in their life, future consciousness is what matters. The more we become aware of all parts of ourself, the more we are human. Often these journeys of recovery occur over many years and they come and go as tides crashing on to a short. There may be periods of rest and then there may be periods of hard work but all of it is connected to each other. The more I journey into the land of the unknown and fear, the more I discover parts of myself that I never knew existed. That to me is the greatest single joy which can never be taken away from me.



Please come back tomorrow for part 3 of the book review of "Father's Touch" by Donald D'haene.

Click here to Purchase the book on Amazon, Father's Touch.



(c) 11/9/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Father's Touch, Part 1

You know that sometimes you meet someone and you just click right from the start? Somehow when I first got a message from Donald D'haene that he would be in Chicago for the taping of the Oprah show, I just felt a connection. I could not explain it at the time and probably would still struggle to explain it. When I got a copy of his book, "Father's Touch", I wasn't sure how it would affect me as I read it. After talking to him and getting to know him a little more, I knew that I had to read this book no matter how hard it triggered me.

Surprisingly, I found the book was written in a way that was not so overwhelming to me. The book is written in such a way that captivates you and makes you want to know what is coming next. It is hard to put down and I found myself reading many pages at a time. There were some very difficult parts for me to read that did take me back to those moments of my life's story. However, Donald has such a way of sharing the story of his life so while it pushed my limits, it did not seem to go over them. I'm at a different place in my life and healing than I once was so maybe if I would have read this book a few years ago, it would be different.

I realize we all have our stories and to each of us, they are different. Even though some of the scenarios played out differently for Donald, I found that we had some strong similarities between his life and my life. The players and the scenes were different but in all stories of abuse and trauma, there are underlying themes that connect with others.

As I read the book, I wrote to a friend of mine in an email, the follow words.

I can’t believe the words I am reading. I thought this only happened in our house. This story is eerie but I cannot put it down. Maybe it helps me piece things together and maybe it helps me just know that what I went through is what happened – sometimes I try to trick myself into believing it is not. It is like someone else has written so much about my life, but it isn’t me.

Please come back tomorrow as I go into more detail about the various parts that really stood out and touched my life. There is just too much to write in one post. This book is a must read as it really tells the story in such a way that you grasp what some boys have endured (and girls as well).

Here are the links to all three parts of this book review.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Click here to Purchase the book on Amazon, Father's Touch.


(c) 11/9/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only

Oprah - 200 Men, Part 2

On Friday, Nov 12, 2010, the second of a two part series on Male Survivors will be airing on the Oprah Show. Part 1 of this series aired on Nov 5, 2010. Below are the following posts about my experiences on Oprah.

From Oprah.com - Oprah, Tyler Perry and 200 courageous men continue the conversation about male sexual abuse. They're breaking down the wall of shame and opening the doors for healing.

If you know of someone that might benefit from this, make sure you pass this along. It is ground breaking and so important for as many to see as possible. The issue of child sexual abuse of boys is often swept under the rug and we need to stand up as a society and say, "NO MORE!" The more that we all know about this as a society, the more we can prevent this horrific evil from taking place around us.


There are many men who need to know that they aren't responsible for what happened to them and that they have support in coming forward to confront their own abuse. All too often, boys are taught that you cannot cry and that if they are abused, they must have done something wrong or been weak. We need to stand together with all abuse victims.

It is estimated that 1 in 6 boys have been abused by the age of 16. Think about that. Then, stop and think of those you know and you'll soon realize that someone you know has been abused.

If you have been abused and you're hiding this deep dark secret, please know that there are resources for you to go and get help. You cannot deal with this on your own as it is too big of an issue without help, support and guidance. It is okay to ask for help and it is okay to be scared to ask for help. Many of us are out there and we know just how difficult that is. Reach out to us and take that first step of telling someone. Do not let yourself continue to live in life under the secrecy and shame of what someone did to you. To many times, society or our abusers make it out that we had sex with them and so it is our fault. Abuse is not about sex. Abuse is about control and manipulation. They end up placing the shame of what happened upon the victim and it is not their shame.

I am here if anyone wants to talk. You can email me privately if you want. You can also go to malesurvivor.org or any of the other online resources. On November 12 (Friday), I will be posting a list of resources for survivors so make sure you come back and check those out. Remember, you do not have to suffer alone!

Further Reading

1. Oprah, Tyler Perry and 200 Male Survivors Speak Out
   
   
2. Oprah, 200 Men Who Were Molested Come Forward, Part 1

(c) 11/9/10 by Don Shetterly - use by permission only

A Male Survivor's Story by NLT

Here is a video of someone that is a male survivor of child abuse. In this video, he talks about the abuse that he went through as well as the wide impact of child abuse in males. I applaud him for sharing his story in this way. It takes much courage and strength to do this.

It is estimated that 1 in 6 boys have been sexually abused before the age of 16.

If you or someone you know has experienced this, please don't feel like you are alone. There are others out there. Go to www.malesurvivor.org for more information and to connect with others that are healing from the effects of this horrible plague attacking our society.

Male Survivor's Purpose: We are committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through support, treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism.

Trauma: Biological Connections

When you have lost the most basic biological connections you have in life, everything seems to lack the proper foundation. Many in our world go without these biological connections. I am not referring only to an absent father or a missing parent. This is much deeper than that.

One of those biological connections is to be wanted from birth. To be looked upon as something parents do not want is a recipe for disaster. Even if it is subtle and not intentional, this lack of connection has profound life-long effects. In my case, when I was a baby, my father was sick with a contagious illness. For some unknown reason to me, I was also in the hospital. My mother had to make a choice of either visiting my father or me but because of the contagious illness my father had, she could not visit both of us. For some reason, my mother chose to be near my dad while he recovered. Of course, I was so young that I don't remember the details but to this day, I feel the rejection. It has been a devastating event that has impacted me throughout my life.

Another biological connection I missed was having a father that was not there for me emotionally. My memories of him at an early age was an abusive and angry person. Saying he had a temper would have been a gross understatement. Emotionally he was numb to his own feelings and so there was no way he could connect with anyone in the family. With me being a highly sensitive person, it was a recipe for disaster in my life. My father's idea of emotions was found in his controlling, manipulative and abusive actions we were part of each day of our life.

The ultimate biological connection I missed was to be raped and violated sexually as a child. By the time I was five years old, I was introduced to a world of trauma. The trauma and abuse did not begin to stop until I moved to college. Once my father began to slow down on the daily abuse with me, my older brother picked up the pace. We were taught to hold these secrets within ourselves by reinforcement through physical, verbal and emotional abuse. My body did not know what normal was when it came to touch. Touch had been replaced by trauma. My body only knew that it was being violated at the whim of those who were my caretakers. Instead of showing me love and affection, my caretakers in life were the ones manipulating all that a young child holds sacred in this world. This affected me for many years to come and there is still not a day that goes by where the effects are not felt. The shame and guilt carried as a result of these acts was tremendous.

After I was hospitalized for paralysis, I suffered a harsh treatment from the family giving me the silent treatment. Even though this biological connection had been disrupted before in my life, this time is was permanent. Once again, having a family completely reject you through some of the most hate filled words of a letter was painful beyond imagination. The only way to survive this torment and trauma was cutting off all ties with them. Their silent treatment and manipulation was the final dagger to my heart. By silent treatment, I imply that unless you did as the family expected, you were the outcast. Various forms of the silent treatment were used to bring you back in line, if you did not come to your senses as the family would suggest.

Through each of these severed biological connections, I was forced into a world of trauma and banishment. Not having these connections, stole the foundations of my life from me. While I have worked to build the foundations later in my life, I find that it is extremely difficult. For when these things are missed, it is as if you are putting half baked bricks together without cement in building the walls of your life. There is no way that these walls can stand the test of time.

So with courage, determination and hard work, I have been able to deconstruct some of these walls and begin building up my own walls. It is neither an easy process or a fast one. Missing those biological connections so early in life has clouded my view of what others consider to be normal experiences. I continue to build the walls of my life replacing those missed biological connections with new experiences.

Anyone who has experienced these things in life, knows that the steps to healing are difficult and few really understand the process. In order to survive and grow in life, it becomes a necessary step of healing. The bumps and bruises along the way are painful but each time a block is added to the wall, there is cause for celebration and joy.


(Above Picture taken - (c) 12/05/06)

*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

I Was Silenced

Some days I want to act as if nothing ever happened to me in life. I want to feel like my life was one of living a normal life like so many others do in our country. I want to not have to think for one more minute in my life about the horrors of hell that I've been through. Many say that this is something you can do if you want to. I say, they have not walked a mile in my shoes.

So many things that I remember and so many things that connect me back to my childhood days are nothing but pain, suffering and misery. Yes, there were some good moments and fun things that happened, but in amongst those things, the horrors came out in force. It was as if you had one moment that was fun and exciting, the horror was mixed within it so that you could not tell one from the other. They were separate but one and the same.

It angers me to no end every time these things crop up and fill my conscious thoughts. They have distorted every view of life that I hold and robbed me of so many things I long for. There is not a day that goes by where I don't listen to the screams of these haunted shadows in the corner. There is not a day that goes by where my actions, my thoughts and my hopes are not influenced by what took place.

The hell that I live through and the hell that invades my body feels like a never ending supply of nourishment that I'd rather not eat. The vile of puke that invades my mouth when I see the pictures of those that did the things to me fills my every sense with disgust filth. I often wonder, do I really have the energy, the courage and the determination to see the fight through that lies before my eyes. I keep telling myself yes, but then I'm constantly reminded of the hell in life.

My mind will never understand what was done to me. My heart will never accept the lies that were told to me. Yet my mind and my heart often struggle to communicate. I'll never know what true love of a father is or for that matter, what true love from those who bore me really means in life. I did not experience it. There is no explanation that can make up for all that was done. The words of our language are not that powerful and broad.

Healing has shown itself to me but there feels like a million miles that await beyond my grasp. It feels like a carrot that dangles in the wind, enticing me forward only to mock my slowness in reaching to capture it. While I cannot discount how far I have walked on this journey, I become angry at times that I even must walk this journey. I question why does it exist? I question why must I be the one to walk the thousands of miles.

Never in a million years will I understand why I endured the pain of many lifetimes in this current existence. I know all I can do is prove my abusers wrong by coming out victorious in the end. This the greatest arrow I can unleash upon their existence in life.

It is a story that many have tried to silence me on. It is however, a story that must be told. For if I allow this story to lie in a secret grave, I am only allowing it to feed upon others in our midst. There are far too many that tread upon the waters of life as if none of this ever happens when in fact, it often happens right before their very own eyes.

One day, I'll be able to write with detail and clarity all that happened in my life. The abusers will be held up to the light of day for all that they did and their dirty lies and secrets will no longer inhabit a home within my body. One day, they will answer for all that they inflicted upon me and others, and they too will have to account for every bit of it. Of course, they that did this to me and others, know exactly their identity.

One day, there will be freedom from these things and the pains and hurts of the past will diminish with time. With hope, the body and the mind will be able to travel onward in life putting the distance of a thousand oceans between all that happened. I was silenced for too many years of my life but no longer will I live in silence. This story must be told. The facts must show through and the abusers be held to the light.

(Above Picture taken at Deltona, FL - (c) 11/03/09)

*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Male Survivor Organization

For those out there who are male and are victims of child sexual abuse, there is a website and organization that is extremely helpful and valuable. The site is Male Survivor. It not only offers a message board full of resources and support by other survivors but they also host retreats, conferences and other events. While I'm not as active there as I once was, mostly because of my own endeavors and time constraints, it is a wonderful place. There are some very supportive people on this site and if you have been sexually abused as a child, then consider checking it out.

Many years ago, when I first came to terms with things, I was looking for other survivors of child sexual abuse that I could talk to. I was not completely ready to admit to all that I had been through for the feeling of shame, guilt and secrecy kept me quiet. However, after finding one of the early male survivor sites, I began to get to know others who shared this same secret. As a result, my life began to grow and heal in ways I didn't even believe were possible at the time. Some of those people grew to be great friends and supporters in my healing journey. There is healing from child sexual abuse and I will admit that it often is a very difficult process. However, I can honestly look back now and see just how far I've come. If I could make it through this, anyone can.

It is important to state that if you've been sexually abused as a child, you're not alone. There are many others who have gone through this. The feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety and depression are all typical. It does not mean there is something wrong with you that you did to yourself. All it means is that you suffered through a horrible traumatic period in your life and there is healing that awaits. Just know that you are not alone! There is support out there and there is healing that can take place. It may seem like your life is miserable and pointless and filled with nothing but despair but you can heal through this. It is possible no matter how dark and scary and overwhelming it may appear. There is hope. There is healing!

If you want to know more about some of my story, please check out the following book. This is a collection of poems and writings as well as some of my story in my own healing journey. The title is "A Journey Through Words" by Don Shetterly and is available on Lulu.com.

Also check out my book on Amazon, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Mike Lew - Upcoming 2010 Events

I've had the pleasure of getting to know Mike Lew through a workshop and an interview I did for an organization a few years ago called Voices In Action. There are many out there that could benefit from one of his workshops and so I am posting this message I received from from his email list in hopes that if it helps one person, than it is worth it. For more information, please check out Mike Lew's website at http://www.nextstepcounseling.org

Mike Lew is also the author of the books "Victim No Longer" and "Leaping Upon The Mountains" They are excellent resources, help and encouragement especially for male survivors of child abuse. I am actually quoted on Page 199 of Leaping Upon The Mountains.



Dear Friends and Colleagues,

We have many interesting events on the 2010 calendar. For more information, please visit our Web site at http://www.nextstepcounseling.org

This email contains a quick rundown of currently scheduled events. We hope to see you at one or more of them.

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There will be 2 weekend workshops at Kirkridge Retreat and Study Center in Bangor, Pennsylvania.

The first, Healing Together: A Recovery Weekend for Female and Male Survivors, will be held January 22-24, co-led by Louise Kindley and Mike Lew. This is the first such event at Kirkridge.

August 13-15 2010 will mark our 20th annual LEAPING UPON THE MOUNTAINS: A MEN'S RECOVERY WEEKEND co-led by Thom Harrigan and Mike Lew.

For further information and/or registration, contact Kirkridge at http://www.kirkridge.org/welcome/homepage/kirkridge-programs-176-166.html or 610-588-1793

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March 18-21, 2010 New York, NY - MaleSurvivor Conference

Mike will be facilitating a day long workshop for male survivors on March 18th 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM as a pre-conference institute. It is open to non-offending adult male survivors. The cost of the workshop is $100.

He will also be moderating and international plenary panel on Friday, March 19th 6:15-7:45 PM, and will offer a workshop on new directions for male survivors in recovery that is open to all on Saturday, March 20th 3:30-5:00 PM. For further details about this and other conference offerings, visit: http://www.malesurvivor.org/conference-2010.html

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April-May 2010, Australia and New Zealand

Following on the successful recent events for professionals and male survivors in Australia, plans well along for Mike's return visit to "Oz" and New Zealand. Events will be co-sponsored by South East Centre Against Sexual Assault (SECASA), Adults Surviving Child Abuse (ASCA), and Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust (MSSAT)

Planned events are as follows:

April 8th - Professional Training Day in Sydney

April 9th - Day long Male Survivor Workshop in Sydney

For information about the Sydney events, contact Susan Leith-Miller at susan@asca.org.au

April 15th - Professional Training Day in Melbourne

For information about the above event, contact Peter Pa'aPa'a at Peter.PaaPaa@southernhealth.org.au or Carolyn Worth at Carolyn.Worth@southernhealth.org.au

April 16-18th - Our 4th Male Survivor Residential Weekend Workshop in Maldon, Victoria

For information about the weekend, contact Max Clarke at Maxwell.Clarke@southernhealth.org.au

April 23rd - Professional Training Day in Perth/Fremantle

April 24th - Day long Male Survivor Workshop in Perth/Fremantle

For information about the events in Western Australia contact Peter Wright at pwright@asca.org.au

April 27th - Professional Training Day in Darwin

April 28th - Day long Male Survivor Workshop in Darwin

For information about the Darwin events, contact Geoff Bahnert at gbahnert@asca.org.au

April 30th-May 2nd - our 3rd Male Survivor Residential Weekend Workshop in Christchurch.

For information about the workshop, contact Ken Clearwater or John Prince at mssat@survivor.org.nz

May 5th - Professional Training Day in Hamilton.

For information about the training day contact Mike Hollway at smaffezs@xtra.co.nz



ASCA (Adults Surviving Child Abuse) in collaboration with SECASA, is pleased to announce the Mike Lew 2010 Tour Downunder. Mike Lew is a world authority in men’s recovery from childhood abuse.

In April 2010 Mike will be running several one-day workshops around the country as well as a three-day residential retreat for male survivors of child abuse in Melbourne.

Mike will also conduct a series of one-day workshops for health professionals working with male survivors of child abuse.

For more information and/or to register please visit www.asca.org.au/mikelew

For sponsorship opportunities please email Susan Leith-Miller at susan@asca.org.au

Susan Leith-Miller
Executive Officer
Adults Surviving Child Abuse
ph: 02 8920 3611
www.asca.org.au


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Events in early planning stages:

Thom Harrigan and Mike Lew will be giving a series of lectures in Japan during the Fall, 2010. Details will be posted on the Web site as they develop.

Please help spread the word about these events. I hope to see you at one or more of them.

All the best,

Mike