When Life Was Taken Away

Since writing the blog post about Focus On What You Want, I've been thinking about how I view the lack in my life.  In fact, I talked about in this blog post that when everything was taken away from me, it changed me from there on in life.  Nothing was the same and it laid the foundation for what I was would know throughout my life.  It was not something I consciously hoped and wished for, but I was dumped into.

It all started when I was a young baby and my father was in the hospital for hepatitis.  Why he was struggling with this, I don't know, but it was so contagious that my mother had to make a choice between seeing me or seeing him.  As the story goes that I was told, she chose him.  I was left to be taken care of by the nurses in the hospital.  While I was not quite old enough to remember this in plain detail, I'm sure it was one of the earliest moments when life was taken away from me.  Imagine being a small child that is left in the arms of strangers to nurture and love you, but who were busy taking care of others.  Imagine how a small child would view that, knowing their basic necessities were only attended to when someone had a chance, not because they were loved and desired.

Of course, the next time when life was taken away was when at the age of 5, I wake up to a nightmare of laying in a pool of blood as my father tried to quickly clean me up, acting as if nothing happened when  my mom came home.  From there, I feared everything about life including pain and love.  For everything had been taken away from me in life and nothing was safe and secure.  Other moments would fill in the cracks and crevices should I forget such as going through my days with little food and having my stomach starve for the slightest thing to eat. The moments of shivering in the cold of the house from the drafts of the winter winds and inadequate heating or the time my older brother felt a whack in the head with the end of the round point shovel was warranted.  School was no more of a refuge as I was constantly picked on and made to feel like I was not one of my other classmates since math was beyond comprehension for me.

Understanding How Life Works

"Manifesting Change" by Mike Dooley who is the creator of Notes From The Universe. In this new book, Mike breaks down the metaphysical mechanics behind every physical manifestation, including tow most important things we can do to trigger life's magic and accelerate the arrival of all that our hearts desire.

Here is one quote from the book which I am now reading that I really liked.

From page 50, (Manifesting Change)
Again, understanding is what we're after. Understanding is the elixir of life. Understanding how life works puts you in a place of power. With unanswered questions and apathy, you give away your power; it ebbs away from you. You become impotent and incapable of making the changes you want simply because you're got questions about whether or not you're worthy to have what you want - if you've done enough; if you just need to be luckier; whether or not you chose this lifetime to experience poverty (I've actually heard that one), or whatever misfortune you think you're experiencing.

For Further Reading:
Manifesting Change: It Couldn't Be Easier