Hate Is The Absence Of Love

Some of the things I continue to see in our society, do very little to advance the human race.  One such thing is hate.  While many may not even own up to this in their day, it none-the-less fills their hearts, minds and bodies.  You cannot have love when you are filled up with hate.

Hate is defined as feeling an intense or passionate dislike for someone.  It could include detesting someone or feeling hostility and animosity towards a particular person or group of people.

Unfortunately in our day, we've gone so over the edge of reality that we barely recognize our own hatred we have for other humans.  It is almost as if we can point the finger at someone else who hates, but we can't see what lies within our own lives.  We hate through judgement and the condemnation of others.  We hate through our silent words and thoughts as well as our actions.

Whether it is through the words we write on anonymous message boards or comment sections on websites, we spread this stuff into the world.  You may think you are anonymous, but in many ways you are not. Some people choose to spew it on TV news programs or in all kinds of TV shows and others choose to participate as a viewer and listener.  It doesn't matter what form you engage in, hate is hate.

Are You Part Of The Hate

As long as I see the stuff I see in a day, I'm going to keep writing about this topic.  These days no matter how much you try to avoid it, the stuff gets shoved in your face one way or another. 

There is just so much hate that fills our online world these days that it makes me shudder every time I see it.  I wonder how humans can be this way with one another.

Aren't we in this world together, trying to make it in our lives and advance in the best way we know how?  It just seems like everything I see and hear these days, that most humans hate one another.  It seems like if you don't believe the way they do in all aspects of life, that you are somehow less than another.

Of course, it is easy to point the fingers and claim everyone else does this.  Yet, if that were the case, it would not be plastered over every bit of social media and the news like it is.  The question than leads to, are you part of the hate?

If you pass on....

You can't go and pass on the hate-filled social media posts and not be part of it.  You can't call those who you disagree with all kinds of names, even in passing, and not be part of the hate.  You can't pass the graphics and memes along all day that degrade others and not be part of the hate.  If you're just trying to point out the errors of another person's ways, unless you're doing it with the same compassion you would want for yourself, you're part of the hate.

What you believe is what you believe.  Most of what we believe is not necessarily fact, but in the world of those who believe it - it is.  Is that all that matters though in hating other people.  Are our beliefs the only thing that sustains us and unites us?  Surely there is more than what we think we believe that matters.

There is no balance in  this world these days and that is sad.  Everyone is divided with one another and the hate shows up in full force.  I see it from those who profess love every day as if they have the answers.  I see it in those that are desperate to bring back some balance.  I see it in those that are friends who feel I must think like they do or I'm not human.

Need to get past this muck...

We need to get past this muck we are in because it is destroying the world we know.  We need each other.  We need love in this world, not hate.  We need to learn to work together, not just stand opposed without much thought.

I wonder if part of the issue is that we are so unconscious in our day that we belly up to the news bar and consume everything fed to us.  Then, in unconscious behavior, we turn to our friends and social media to spew and regurgitate all that we've heard.  We don't stop for a moment though and think if this is truly the best thing we can do with our time or the best way we can show love and respect to others.

Let's strive to not be part of the hate.  Let's discuss ideas but do so in a civilized way with respect for one another.  You don't have to wallow down in the mud hole with others if they choose to go to the moments of hate.  You can rise above and wait for them to crawl out of the mud hole, then offer them a hose to rinse themselves off.

I plead and I beg with everyone that reads this - let's stop being part of the hate online!  We've got that much power in us to change what we do.  What others do is beyond our control, but what we do is something we can impact. What we do will impact the world either in a positive or a negative way!

If you wouldn't say these things face-to-face to the love of your life or your best friend or your young child, then maybe it would be best to rethink whether you should say them online. 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Preaching hate

I'm sorry if this makes some uncomfortable, but its the only way I can deal with the tragedy in Orlando.  I've had people stop following me on Twitter today because I talked about hate. I guess they don't like the fact that I'm gay.  I'm not going to apologize for this.  I am who I am and if anyone cannot accept me, it was nice meeting you.

I'm not sure how you can say the following statement and immediately watch scores of people unfollow.  I could think of all kinds of words to say about that action, but I won't step down into the depths of hatred and return the favor.  Take a look at what I said and see if that is a bad thing.  In my mind, it isn't.  Who knows, maybe people who hate are somehow more intelligent.  Maybe that's it.  I don't know.

You can't preach hate every day and expect a different outcome. Hate only breeds hate.

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) June 12, 2016

Its sad.  We have hate that is fueled by the preaching of hatred across this land.  Whether it is in the church pulpit or the political arena, it seems we just like to hate.  We teach hatred as if it was a key in life.  All the time, we don't even know that we are so hateful to others.  Too many puff their chests up and act like somehow they are better and more superior.

In fact, most people that show their hatred are the ones that cry about how much of a victim they are.  They claim that if they can't spew and forth their hatred on to others at every turn in life, that somehow they are being victimized and silenced.  They don't stop to see just how their words, thoughts, and actions are some of the most hateful things that they produce.

Some out there think that if you don't believe in the way their religious teachings command, that you are stopping them from exercising their freedoms.  Nothing could be further from the truth, but to those that hate, truth is the last thing that fills the voids in their mind.

Not everyone believes the way you do.  It is called freedom of religion and freedom of speech.  However, when you push your beliefs upon everyone else, you've made the entire world less human.  You haven't helped the least among you and you sure don't exemplify the words of the Bible that you so vehemently claim you practice.  I'm often surprised at how these individual do not know what is in the Bible that they spout at every turn.

The more we spew the hatred and divisiveness to one another, the more we set people in our world to see that it is okay to hate others.  Even if we are not smart enough to know we are spewing hatred, it does not excuse our words, thoughts, and actions.  The more hate is preached, the more you cannot expect a different outcome.

See, we're more worried about what others do in this country and world than we are about what we do.  We are more worried about how others don't measure up in our judging eyes, than we are learning to accept others and celebrate our differences.

Preaching hate is the norm of our day.  It is sad that it happens with such frequency.  I'm saddened by what I see on social media, by the politicians and the churches, and those that spew the hatred.  The more this happens, the more violence we will continue to see.

(click image to read)
 

Its horrible.  I sat here today, crying tears of sadness and pain for those that lost loved ones in this senseless and horrible shooting in Orlando.  Of course, everyone reaches for the political one-liners to spew even more hate.

When will we learn?  When will we understand that it isn't everyone out in the world that is the problem, but ourselves and our heart?  When will we learn that it is our thoughts, actions, and words that we portray to the world which can either build us up or tear us down.  If you're doing these things, you are just as much a part of the problem as those that are blinded by the hatred in their hearts.

I'm sorry if this blog post sound harsh, but it is how I see things.  I'm tired of being silent as to not offend anyone.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Don't Understand Hate by Don Shetterly

This video is one that I created on May 25, 2017.  Normally I don't show my song creation process on camera because it is just too difficult to create and not get nervous about being recorded.  However, this song is an exception.

The song in this video is called, "I Don't Understand Hate". (created 5/25/17)

After the week I had, seeing hate front and center, I almost gave up on humanity and said, "I don't want another thing to do with anyone."  Call me a drama queen if you want, it doesn't really matter at this point because I'm still livid over what took place.

Too many out there preach love and acceptance and tolerance, but it stops at the point when someone else does not hold the same view.  I don't care which side of an issue someone is on, it happens from both ends.  I'm so tired of this behavior.  It is not what humans are.  It is not what our civilization is about in my view.

If I post certain topics, people get all up in arms.  Some just blow me away, because instead of seeing how it applies in their life, it is like - "HOW DARE YOU POST THIS"!  I've seen this in full display this week (well at least when I am writing this).

I try to learn from all people.  Yes, some irritate the daylights out of me more than others, but I try to learn.  I try to see what it is in them that I cannot stand or I have difficulty hearing.  Some things are just plain hateful and evil.  Some give no value to humanity.

I wish I had all the answers.  I wish I understood why people can preach love, and hate others at the same time.  It makes no sense to me.

I wish I understood why some preach tolerance, but yet hate anyone that does not agree with them.  Do we all have to walk to the same drum?  Do we all have to think alike, talk alike, and believe alike?  Can we not bring what we have to the table and together enhance all of our lives more?

I watch no TV news.  I read very few news articles.  I try to avoid most of the hot and heated discussions, because they offer nothing good for life in my view.  They are just a bunch of opinionated people screaming.  I'm sorry, but if no one is really listening, how is the screaming going to help?

We're all standing opposed to one another and if we continue this, our civilization will not make it.  Our planet will not endure.  Yes, there are things that make your blood boil, but if love and tolerance are your ideals in life, then engage those.  Don't engage the hate.  Don't spread the hate.  Don't be part of the hate.

The fear is so great right now that no one is seeing with a rational, consciously connected mind.  We see through the eyes of fear and we react with fear.  If not, we go to the default of numbness.

There needs to be balance.  It does not start with our leaders.  It starts with each one of us individually.  We are the collective civilization.  We can practice love and tolerance for others, not just make it a mantra we hold high.

The song in this video is my conversation with music about how "I Don't Understand Hate".  It seems confusing to me.  It seems less than human.  I don't get the insults or the attitude of "my way or the highway".  I don't get how we cannot even come together as human beings and beings of light with a soul that is pure, but we can stand opposed to anyone that thinks differently than we do.

May our souls find awareness and consciousness.  May we expel the hate in this world through the actions of love we portray.

Listen to the sounds in this YouTube video of Don Shetterly playing on his piano.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Love In Spite Of Hate

Like many others, I read the news of a particular member of our society passing away.  It is hard for me to be loving of this person, when I've felt the hate that he bestowed upon others.  He dressed his hate inside his religion and his church.  He and his members put on the pious robes of self pride as they sat in judgement of others.

If you can't guess by now who I'm talking about, it is the Westboro Baptist Church leader, Fred Phelps.  No, I don't know the guy personally, but I did see the hatred that he spewed across the airwaves of the world.  I saw his signs that he held.  I saw many people hurt and wounded by his words.

I can't sit here and judge his place in this world, but I know that what these people spewed from the pulpit of their tax free church enterprise was way over the line.  If they profess to follow the bible, I think they miss the entire sections of living their life like Jesus did.  Jesus preached love, not hate.  Jesus commanded that we love one another, not that we rip apart, destroy, and put down one another.

Yet, Westboro Baptist Church stands for anything but love.  Fred Phelps taught these people and from the sounds of some of the children, he taught it in abusive ways.  He might have professed to be the spokesperson for God and Jesus, but I would say if you observe his actions, he did not teach that which he proclaimed.

Innocent Comments Of Hate

My new t-shirt from HRC

Yesterday was the Come Out With Pride event at Lake Eola in Orlando, Florida.  Estimates put the number of people attending it around 150,000.  The parade was close to an hour long.  The energy level never died down around the beautiful downtown lake.  Fireworks captured the nighttime sky as everyone felt accepted, loved, and wanted.  The Swans moved around as if it were another day.

As I was talking to a friend and recounting similar experiences of innocent comments of hate, he too shared some stories from his past.  Yes, I'm sure one could say we just have to develop a thick skin and not let it bother us.  Unfortunately, I think people either need to lose their ignorance or not prove to the world through their words, just how ignorant they are.

Comments such as "those queers", "those fags" or gawd they are weird are about hate and ignorance.  I've overheard people say to other ignorant people, "you're not afraid he will do something to you, right?"  I've heard that in the work place, and amongst people who I thought were friends. I've heard it amongst those that thought they were self righteous and holy.

Let Us Hate One Another

Isn't this what the bible teaches?  Isn't that what Jesus proclaimed, let us hate one another?  Reading the news articles and twitter feeds and Facebook postings, you would think that to be human means, you hate other humans.

I am constantly amazed at how our society and culture treat one another.  There is no love.  There seems to be only hate.  The ones blinded by hate cannot even begin to see what love means.  Unfortunately, it feels like that is 100% of the population in this country and world.

To be one that tries to love others feels like a part of a super small group of individuals.  Some people proclaim they love others, but their rhetoric and social media postings might suggest otherwise.  Love is not mere words.  Love is putting your words in action.

I grew up in a house that proclaimed love and one of the recurring quotes I heard pounded into the table was "by God, we are a family and were going to love one another no matter what".  Of course, there was anything but true love in our house.  It was a facade.  These quotes usually were a result of control and manipulation and abuse.

Growing Up With Hate Disguised As Love

Written By Don Shetterly

As a kid, we went to church, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other day there were activities.  Church services and prayer meetings were the norms for our lives.  Days and meals were planned around it.  No one was exempt from going, and you were expected to be there.


In each prayer meeting or church service, the participants (our family included) talked about loving one another.  We talked about how we were somehow different from all the rest of the population.  We talked about how we were holier than all the rest of the people living on the planet.

We tried to be good people and do the right thing most of the time.  We sought to be honest, upstanding, loving, kind and generous when we could We put our offering in the collection plate and sometimes I saw my dad give their entire life's savings while we starved, but we were doing it in the name of all that was holy.

Not Gossip - It Was Prayer Requests...

We didn't mind the gossip that went on in the church because we didn't call it that.  Instead, we referred to it as prayer requests.  We'd offer up prayers in the circle while many would raise eyebrows at hearing the news of various participants.  That was okay though because we were praying about it of course.

We would get back in the car to leave the church service or prayer meeting and boy that is when the discussion of the prayer requests (a.k.a gossip) would start up with intensity.  It was as if there were only a few minutes to discuss it.  I would listen as my parents talked without a pause.

It would bother me, but you didn't dare stand up and say anything for fear of being beat.  You couldn't expose the error in what family was doing because you got it when you got home.  I just had to sit there and listen to it while it made my stomach turn.  Yet, we were a loving family who was special and went to church.  Gossip was something others did.

With the same breaths of love and kindness, we would turn our attention to all those that we disagreed with from our neighbors to other members of the church.  The minister, of course, was not exempt with this, but because it was in the secrecy of our car and home, no harm was done.  After all, we proved that we had love for one another.

Didn't Know Our Actions Were Hate Filled...

If people thought differently than what the ruler in our family proclaimed as the law, we despised them and distanced ourselves from them.  You could say that we hated them, but then no one would have admitted that in this moment or at any time.  For we were Christians.  We were called by God so we could not have hate.  We didn't know that our actions were hate filled.

Never mind the domestic violence and child sexual abuse that was going on in the family.  Never mind that the thought of sparing the rod and spoiling the child was enacted to the extreme.  These were regular parts of our family while we acted as if we loved everyone and hated no one.

I escaped from that life, and it was not easy to leave it behind.  Because of other situations in my life with healing from Conversion Disorder, I had to walk away from my entire family to save my life.  I was cast out as a son that was brainwashed by psychiatrists who didn't know that his family loved him.  I was shoved aside until I came to my senses.  All the loyalty that had been demanded of me throughout my life was now cut off because I no longer lived by the family code I grew up with as a kid.

My Family Still Practices Hate...

To this day, I see those in my family who still practice the hate.  They disguise it as love, but the hate has blinded their hearts.  They no longer can tell a difference.  It is sad observing it from outside the family.  Some days, I can barely believe this is the family I grew up in.

I see things happening in the world and our country which reminds me of those years I have longed to forget.  The one-way loyalty and the hate disguised as love.  The superiority of some as they lift themselves up over the ones they have trampled.  I see a disdain for what is really the truth, hidden by everything under the sun that is not.

If you tried to confront anyone about this, they would laugh and spit in your face.  Yet, the same people puff themselves up as the arbitrators of truth, justice, and love.  Instead, the judgment shown by most people towards others, even the ones that cloak it with some love, is one of the most hurtful things you can do towards another.

I grew up in the church and the family that judged everyone while we smiled, hugged them, and told them, "I Love You!"  We thought we were the best that life had to offer.  We thought we were right and everyone else was wrong.  As I've put distance in my healing from my family, I realized just how wrong we were.  We were not only part of the problem, but we were the problem.

No one wants to look hard into their own life and see the garbage then need to throw out the window.  No one wants to acknowledge their actions and thoughts and words as being not only part of the problem but the problem facing this world.  Everyone is quick to judge everyone but themselves, and I weep at the sadness of this behavior.

Living life in this world is not always easy but the more we hide our heads in the sand, duck behind the knowledge of truth, the more we make it an arduous journey.  We're not as great as we proclaim because a great life is seen through actions, not words.  We can speak the words, but if we do not live the life that we preach, we are nothing more than a clanging gong.

What is in our heart and mind and body is what we display to the world.  We can mask our hate and project it on to everyone else, but until we go in and search our own heart and mind, we will be part of the problem.  Let us open our eyes and become aware of what we truly do, not what we say to convince the world.

I work each day to de-program my mind from the brainwashing I endured as a kid.  I work each day to love others through my heart and actions, not just the words I write or say.  Every day, I strive to release all the toxicity and poison that was pumped into me as I was taught the truths of life.  I am the only one that can change how I live my life now.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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People Can't See Their Own Hate

It really gets sad when we are so oblivious to our own ways that we can't see the forest for the tree standing in front of us.  Yet, another example showed up today by so many that act as if they are morally and intellectually superior.

When you make fun of another group or enjoy seeing the group get triggered by what is being said online or in the news, something is wrong.  No, I'm not making this up.  It was on Twitter.  Why should I not be surprised!

People don't even realize what their words mean or how they come across.  If they do, they don't care.  If they don't understand, it makes you wonder if they realize what being human is all about.

I see people talk about how much they love God and how their beliefs are the right thing.  In the next breath, they shower their hatred among those that they don't agree with and if you call them out on it, you're the one that doesn't understand.  They are so blind with the log in their eyes that they can't see just how their words don't match up to the concept of love.

Politics of course is ripe with hatred for one another.  They don't even care that they put down another group of people as long as it gets them votes.  Out of ignorance, they proclaim hatred all the time without skipping a beat.  It must give them a reason for their life's existence.

Online Social Media is one of the worst places to go if you want to see anything but hate.  It is so quickly displayed in Facebook and Twitter and not one of these people can see that it hurts others deeply.  In fact, I think online social media thrives on it and it is pretty sad because it really damages other people.

Why on earth would one want to intentionally inflict pain upon another person unless they are so miserable in their own life, that this is the only way they know to exist in their lives.  Maybe they prop themselves up by putting others down.  Maybe it is the way they give life and liberty and freedom to themselves, by despising those that they don't agree with and accept.

Hatred is so blinding to people and it causes ignorance to inflate as big as it can get.  It doesn't matter if the people who hate are the ones that act as if they deplore hatred, because as long as they are doing it, it makes them feel superior.  Anyone else that shows the same is acting in a stupid manner.

I'm really tired of seeing hate so displayed every day.  Surely we have the capacity to be more than that.  Surely we don't need to kill and ridicule and preach hatred from our church pulpits.  Maybe we could actually try loving one another and giving each other the respect that should be rightfully a part of being human.

Hopefully one of these days we will evolve as humans, not become those that hate more than the people we despise.  I hold out hope, but more and more it becomes harder to hold on to hope.  If we continue to hate, how long will it take before there is no one left in the world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Fear Is Running Our World

We've had far too many events happen lately that just make me cringe.  From the shooting in Orlando to the one in Louisiana and Minnesota along with the Arab that was detained, fear is running our world. There is no other way to state it.  There is a good chance that by the time this is posted, what I wrote will be out of date. 

Gun sales are at an all time high and if you think fear does not play a role in that, then you may want to take a second look.  People are so afraid of other people, they feel that guns are the only way they feel safe.  They are afraid.  Fear is running their lives. You can deny it all you want, but if you take a moment to look at it, you'll see it.  I'm not saying anything about guns, other than fear drives guns.  Why else would the gun sales skyrocket?

To see someone that was dressed in Arab clothing and become suspicious of the person and report them is beyond comprehension in my mind.  We fear what we do not know.  We fear these people because we're taught to fear them every day.  Through the media and especially the politicians, we know nothing else than the fear we should feel at the utterance of their name or image we see.

We are so afraid of one thing or another.  I remember living in a small town and I was meeting a friend of mine at a youth baseball practice session in the local ballpark.  I was sitting on the bleachers minding my own business and the parents demanded to know who I was and why I was there.  It was not for information purposes, but because they didn't know who I was.  They were afraid.  Yet, the same people would be fine worshiping alongside a child molester in their church.

Associate with our own kind...

When we put up walls and fences and only associate with our own kind, we're not helping to make the world a better place.  When we fear everyone around us that doesn't act like us or think like us, we are not making the world a better place.  When we fear everything but what we believe and we listen to the news pundits and politicians as if they speak our truth, we are not helping to make the world a better place.

When we degrade others and put our beliefs and religions as the forefront of all knowledge and truth, we are degrading all of humanity.  We are making each one of us out to be less than we are because we cannot see others with a pure essence or someone just like us.

When all others are wrong....

When we proclaim we have the right way and all others are wrong, it is then that fear is guiding our heart.  There is no love in that statement.  When we do this, we automatically assemble all those that are teetering on the brink of collapse to heed our call to hate one another.  Through that hatred, we see mass shootings such as Orlando and others.

We cannot proclaim to be better than those we despise if we do the same things that we hold up as being horrible.  We cannot proclaim to be better if we return hate with hate, all the time acting as if we have love in our hearts.  We are all guilty to some degree and many of us are guilty to a much greater degree.

We no longer respect and talk with one another as neighbors.  We no longer see others in the eyes of love because fear is running our world.  We engage in rhetoric that adds to the problem, but solves nothing.  We engage in rhetoric that brings us in unison with the masses, but does nothing to help make the world better.  We engage in beliefs that pit one person against another, rather than opening our arms and showing love to one another.

Fear is so alive...

It is time we begin to face up with how much fear is running our world.  Fear is so alive and this world is running scared.  Yes, I know there are dangers.  I have seen this happen too close to me, but we cannot do the same thing that is being done to us, because if we do, we will only lose the most precious part of our existence.

We are all one.  We were all created as humans traveling on this planet through the journey of life.  We can either choose to continue and keep our heads buried in the sand, or we can rise above and learn to love, not hate.  We can be more than we are, if we want to, but we must stop letting the rhetoric of the day be our source of strength and sustenance to our soul.

The ego keeps score.  The ego dictates how great it is and how right it is.  The ego shows you how wrong everyone is and how much they should be silenced.  The ego has nothing to do with love.  It has nothing to do with love in our heart.

It is up to each one of us, what we do and how we impact the world.  Each one of us can continue on the same path we are, or we can make a difference.  It isn't the other people who we need to worry about in life.  It is what is in our heart that will make the difference.  For when our hearts unite as one, hate will have no home.  Ignorance will not be fed.  Rhetoric of the day will sound like a noisy cymbal out of tune.

It is up to each one of us, what we choose to do with our day.  We will either become part of the solution or we will continue to add to the hate that is alive through the fear that is running our world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Are Humans Really That Hateful

I see a meanness online these days and it truly bothers me.  If you think I should not be bothered by it, then this blog post is not for you.  In fact, I just got called out for caring about what gets forced in front of our eyes every day.  You can't avoid it, unless you just don't go online.

I have to wonder though, are humans as hateful as they show online?  Do they really hate others as much as their words and actions show?  Or is there a major disconnect and the what people show online is different than they actually are?

My next question would lead me to authenticity.  If you can't be the same online that you are in person to your friends, coworkers and acquaintances, then which persona should we believe?  Who really are you?

I think this matters greatly because by treating each other with so much hatred while proclaiming we are great individuals, is extremely harmful to the world-at-large.  Words, actions, and thoughts do matter.  A thought born out of love can really help someone's day while thoughts born out of hate can really incite significant pain upon others.

We can't just sit back and hide our heads in the sand, because it truly matters.  How we treat others is propagated on to other people many times over.  It hurts.  It harms.  It keeps people hunkering down in their caves of anxiety and depression.

How we treat others is what helps this world advance or decline!  I'm sorry if that goes against your beliefs and opinions, but you can just take a look at humanity through the ages and see how true this is. 

The world is difficult enough on our good days and if we can't walk hand-in-hand together towards a better outcome, will this world even make it?  If we stand opposed and fight and nitpick and manipulate with our opinions and beliefs, may the world somehow survive because the odds are against it in this scenario.

Yes, it does matter if we truly understand whether humans are really that hateful with one another.  To ignore this, is being part of the problem that self-propagates throughout online social media.  We had better wake up before it is too late.  In this case, there will not be any do overs.

#Hate

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Some Days It Is Hard To Be Silent

Let's get ready to rumble!   Yep, person "x" is in their corner and now person "y" is in their corner.  In moments, these two hot and heavy breathing individuals will come out of their rings fighting.

Oh wait, they started before the bell went off.  Well folks, we're off to one heavy and heated fight.  Stay tuned... 

Some days, it is hard to be silent.  We are all that individual in the corner of the fighting ring it seems.  It is almost as if each person has their boxing gloves on and no matter what, everyone else in the ring are the enemies.

There is no stopping to embrace the other person or listening to the other person.  It is every man, woman, and child for themselves.  This is how humanity appears these days.  Our days are the fighting ring of life.

We speak how much we hate others...

We go to social media or we go to our friends and speak how much we hate and abhor the others that don't think like us.  We go on TV or to the political pulpits and we exclaim how horrible those other people are.  We sit in our church pews and listen to the minster puff our egos up while proclaiming those that don't believe like us, are to be avoided and shunned and talked down to.  We make sure we post it on social media so everyone gets the message!

Often we are just adding to the hatred that is being said, rather than showing that true love and compassion exists in this world.  When we get down in the mud pit, we can't expect to stand up clean.  We will have mud all over our body too.

Don't engage in the hate.  Instead show love and compassion.  Show understanding without judgment.  If you despise all that is said and yet you engage in it, what are you profiting from that?  Are you any different than the ones you judge?

Yes, sometimes it is extremely difficult to stay silent and not engage with the loudmouths of our society.  It just does little good and if you engage, you become that which you hate and despise the most.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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Hate Disguised As Love

Hate disguised as love is still hate.

Far too many times in a day, I see people act and state they love and accept everyone.  However, their actions and social media postings do not back up what they say and do as proof.  We can say we love others, but when we portray the actions of hate out into the world, we're decimating our statements of love.  Love is more than just saying that you love others.  Love is truly showing it through our actions and our lives.  It becomes who we are, not what we preach we are.  Let us not preach love unless we are willing to show love through our actions from deep within our hearts.  Be authentic with your statements of love.  The world will notice.

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Families Who Hate One Another

Recently I found out that my Aunt Mary died 11 days ago on September 7, 2010. Then as I was searching for her obituary, I found out my Uncle Duane had passed away in 2007. I did not know any of this until last night. It had been many years since I talked with my Aunt and not since all the family crap erupted back in 1991. Right now, tears fill my eyes because of not only the loss but the connections to pain within the family that it brings up.

It is sad that through a second hand person, my younger brother and I just found out 11 days after this happened. I cannot piece together in my mind just how much hate keeps someone in my immediate family from letting other family members know someone has died. This is too much for my mind to comprehend. It is too much hate.

I so badly wish I could have talked to them one last time and asked them questions that carry secrets of a life time. I doubt I'll ever find some of the answers to the questions I have in my mind but it would have been nice. Both my aunt and uncle were always nice and treated us nicely. I only hope that I can still connect with some of my cousins and my other Aunt before it is too late. If any of you are reading this, I would like to exchange hellos.

I remember many times how my Aunt and Uncle would drive down for an afternoon visit and often we would go up to their house for Thanksgiving. I remember the big pool table down in the basement of their house and the TV blaring with whatever football game was on. I remember spending a 4th of July with them watching fireworks.


Duane Earl Kammerdiner
June 17, 1927 to Oct 3, 2007
Memorial Site







Mary Belle (Haynes) Kammerdiner
July 15, 1928 to Sep 7, 2010
Obituary







There is one important thing that I remember from my Aunt and that is the picture that is posted at the top of this entry, the red bull. While it may seem like just a stuffed animal, I felt so happy the day she gave it to me. I think it was one of my cousin's stuffed animals but I can't remember which one. My dad of course did not like the fact that she gave this stuffed animal to me as he thought it was childish or whatever else went through his pitiful mind. Anyway, I took it home and had to hide it because if he found it, he would have taken it away and destroyed it. It has remained tucked away into a box in my closet to this day, safe and sound.

But the more important part here is the sadness I feel for my family. There is so much hate and secrets that have permeated every aspect of not only my immediate family but of those that I am related to. I so badly wish I could wave a magic wand and wake up from this nightmare I have lived through. I keep thinking that one day, I will wake up and realize this has been a bad dream. It would have been a very long bad dream though.

I still remember when my Dad would cuss and swear that we were always going to love each other as a family no matter what. Of course, the things he did to tear the family to shreds did anything but keep us together. He of course will most likely never admit to these things and neither will my older brother. If they ever do, I will probably die of a heart attack from shock!

Today, I have no idea how a family is supposed to be or how they work. I barely know those that I share the same name with or a common blood line with. We are related but yet we are strangers. Most of the time, I feel like we are a million light years apart. All because, our family was so messed up and the horrors we faced robbed us of normal elements in life.

I'm not only sad and full of grief today but I'm angry at what I've had to deal with in my own family. It would be nice to find a way that carries me past all of this but I know that without the biological connection, it leaves a gaping hole in one's life. Sure, you can do all kinds of things and connect with all kinds of friends, but there is still that gaping hole. That biological connection is a stronger bond than anything we know in this world.

While I realize I'm not the only one that has endured toxic family situations, I feel some days like I have been given more than I can possibly endure. All of this almost brought me to my own death with the paralysis several years ago and I've had to climb up the steepest side of the mountain to find my way back out of the hole.

Families can be so hateful and cruel to one another. It all comes from what we are shown and given from the moment we are born. If we are given love, than it is love we are filled with. If we are shown hate and evil, than we are born into a world of turmoil and pain. It isn't easy to come through or heal from either and some times it is tougher than anything I have ever faced in my life.

So today, I honor the lives of my Aunt Mary and Uncle Duane who were bright spots in my days as a kid growing up. I will never get to say goodbye to them but I will say goodbye in my heart and in my mind. Today, while I reconnect with the grief, the pain, and the tears of all I have endured in my life, I will hold the stuffed animal as a sign that there is still love in this world. I have very few of these treasures that remain so I cherish each one.

Is it too late to see a family heal and admit to what was done? I don't honestly know. Right now, I see no possible way of that ever happening. I just see a family who hates one another and hides the secrets and the skeletons of life in a closet.

Maybe all of this will become my own motivation to completely rid myself of the influences of evil that I was controlled and manipulated by. Maybe out of my own life, there will come great positives that will help others. I can hope with possibility that amazing things can happen.




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World Happiness Index

I came across a link to a story from one of my twitter followers today and well, it made me happy!  Of course, the country I live in which is the United States didn't rank as high as it could have.  For some reason, we have a lot of angry people in the US and it is more than politics in my view.

Thanks to Wendy (@WendyESlater) for sharing this.

Wow interesting... I want to live in a "happy place" https://t.co/KgxAi1Gx58 - World Happiness Index

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) April 2, 2016

I find it interesting that the places which have more cold weather than we do are ranked higher in the happiness index out of all the places in the world.  I know, weather probably isn't a big determination, but if you put me in the middle of a very cold place, I'm not going to be happy.  I like warm weather much better.

The top places were Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Norway and Finland.  They were followed by Canada, Netherlands, New Zealand, Australia and Sweden.  The United States ranked 13 behind Israel and Austria.

Some of the factors including how people ranked their level of happiness were the GDP, life expectancy, generosity, social support, freedom, and corruption.  One would hope our country would excel at many of these things, but we do not.

I think that sometimes in the United States we chase money far too much.  I'm not knocking anyone who makes a lot of money, but sometimes I think that money becomes our sole focus in life.  We easily lose touch with what truly matters and unless there is some crisis we donate to, we aren't the most generous people at times.  You can disagree with me if you want.  That is fine with me!  I just am writing what I observe through my own eyes.  I've seen far too many people hungry and lying on the streets in the cold.

It feels like our political races and politics in general have gotten so divisive that we hardly see each other as human.  We just tend to see each other as opponents and we degrade each other.  This is hardly the making of happiness.  The politics of hate has been building for many years because "hate" gets people to the polls.  Unfortunately those in the US succumb to the hate that is alive and well in these political campaigns.

I really don't think that we spend enough time relaxing and enjoying life.   We are too tied to our smart phones, ipads and computers to take time away.  I'm just as guilty of this as the next person.  Try disconnecting for a day and see how that goes.  We just keep our minds far too actively engaged on tasks that really don't make a difference in our day.

Is there any wonder why we don't rank higher on the happiness index?  I think that each one of us can change this by changing our own life and what we do in a day or how we focus.  It isn't up to some leader or religion or circumstance to make us happy.  It is something that we choose and it comes from within us.

Our actions do speak louder than the words we portray.  Our actions speak louder than what we claim we are for or what we stand against.  It is how we treat others that we show who we are.  The more we are who we are, the more happiness we have in our lives.  It isn't about the other people.  It is about how we treat others that matters most.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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040216

Selected Bigotry By Religions

I see this all the time and it really bugs me.  In fact, I just read a Facebook comment that said "if Christians and other people of faith were not required to accept and service the homosexual lifestyle choice and marriage against their will and faith, that basically the religious people wouldn't care so much.  Hmmm... let me think about that one some more.

I normally don't wade into the social issues much because there are so many people screaming.  It just bothers me when I see comments like this posted.  It feels like selected bigotry by religions.  Their statement makes them feel validated but that's about it.  It is highly disrespectful to gay people that they so vehemently hate.

Now, before you get all up in arms with me and accuse me of intolerance,  religions are protected in the constitution and they have buildings to go and preach at whatever they believe every single day of the year.  They take in lots of money in a year and while I don't think they use it wisely most of the time, they don't pay taxes on it.  Lots of people in the church earn a good living and some have a pretty nice income.  Some religions and people of faith understand things good and too many others show the evil side of religions.

We Point Fingers

Written By Don Shetterly

Lately, all across the planet, it seems to be human means we stand opposed to one another.  We point the fingers and exclaim that everyone else is the problem.  We hold our heads up high while bashing everyone who doesn't believe our way.

The issue doesn't matter.  From the more serious ones to the little ones, we point the finger and say "you're either with us or you're against us."  There is no middle ground.  There is no listening.  There is no acceptance of anything outside our personal belief systems.

It doesn't seem to matter how enlightened people claim to be or how religious and God-loving they are.  Everyone points the fingers while thinking they have the truth.  They believe they have all the answers.  They believe no one knows what matters the way they do.  When I say they, I mean the "collective we" in our society.

We See Things Our Way...

We judge but demand others not judge us.  We torment and ridicule, but we hate it when the same is done to us.  We fail to listen to others and their points of view while demanding that they adhere to ours.  We speak as if are the only ones with the right to talk while telling all others to shut up and sit down because they have nothing of value to say.

I'm not saying all things that are said, need to be heard.  In fact, I believe many need to practice some self-control and learn which things are good for public discourse and which things are not.  In this day and age of the internet, we all feel that every thought that passes through us must be shared with the world instantaneously.  Thanks, social media, for doing us such a big disservice!

Instead of focusing on what is in our own heart and learning to let go of our own anger and pain and stress of life, we inflict it upon everyone we meet.  We show them our hatred through our words and our actions.  We show them our pain through our inability to just let go and move on.

We Are Part Of The Problem...

We give a voice to the crazy thoughts of the day when we point our fingers at them in judgment.  We give a voice to the crazy talk when we have to share, pass on, retweet, and like everything they say.  We are as much a part of the problem as the ones sharing the trash.  Yet, we hold ourselves up high as we are somehow enlightening the world.

If you add crazy to crazy, you're only going to get a more crazy response.  If you add hatred to hate, you're only going to see more hate.  If you antagonize anger with anger, you're going to see anger on display at every corner.

We need to really stop and think about how our actions are contributing to the overall demise of the world.  We may believe that we are doing something positive, but when we elevate the crazy trash of the day, then we are part of the problem.  We need to stop being part of the problem.

Let's stop judging ourselves and therefore others.  Let's stop pointing the finger at others and therefore ourselves.  Let's stop hating and showering anger upon the world, expecting love in return.

Instead, let us show love to the world by first starting to show love within ourselves.  Let love begin within us.  Let us rid our hearts of hatred, judgment, and anger so that we can fill it with love.  Let us let go of all those we point the finger at, and see the spark of light that is within each human being.

Remember, when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

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Marriage Equality

It is sad to see statements made in debate playing out across this country.  The people for and against marriage equality are voicing their complaints in the loudest ways possible.  I know which side I come down on and if you read all the way to the end, you will see which way I fall.  Of course, you might be able to tell that before you get to the end, but I'll try to be balanced in what I write.

I realize there are people who live by faith and according to their faith (or religion), homosexuality is wrong.  They will quote referenced statements that they have been taught in justifying their stance to the world.  While I think that they have every right to say what it is they want to say, I believe they are missing the point.  To me, people who call themselves religious but then go around telling people that they love the sinner but hate the sin, are quite frankly judging people.  According to the bible I have read, it says "judge not, lest ye be judged" (Matthew 7:1).  There is only authority that these people claim to believe in and according to the bible, is the only one that can judge anyone.

Often people get so bent out of shape over what is done by others.  It is easier to point a finger at others and make a spectacle out of someone, but at the end of the day, it says far more about the individual than the people they are adamantly against.  It would be much better in this world if we spent more time focusing on how we could be better people ourselves, rather than spending all our waking minutes consumed with what others do.

Negativity Makes Us Less Than Human

It is sad to watch how the world behaves these days.  It seems that everyone is caught up in the fear, the loathing, the hatred, judgement and criticism of one another.  I can't speak for all countries and nations of the world because I do not live or travel there, but in the US, it is a very toxic place.

All you have to do is take a moment and observe what is going on around you.  If you watch the news or follow it along on the internet, you'll see just how toxic it has become.  We are not doing anyone much good these days and if we don't reverse this, I fear we will completely lose our sense of humanity.

Take for example, the Olympics and Michael Phelps.  The other day when he did not win the gold, I immediately saw a twitter trend of many negative comments towards him.  It was almost like people reveled and took joy in his demise of not winning the race.  One person even tweeted me as if to enlighten me that while Phelps had done great things, he is very douche like.  While I'm not sure exactly what she was referring to, my response was that I try to find the good in all people.  After all, this is a competition and yet, we feel the need to hate and criticize with negativity something that someone does who we barely know or interact with?  It still boggles my mind just how hateful these things were.

Burn The Books

I remember an episode (Video of Season 5, Episode #5 on Youtube) of Walton's Mountain where the community was enraged over some of the things that John Boy was publishing in the newspaper. He was publishing excerpts from Mein Kampf because Hitler at the time was rising to power. While everyone thought that what he was doing was a deplorable action, they were ready to do whatever it took to silence John Boy. Actions that were escalating to dangerous forms of violence brought the entire community to a breaking point.

So the Rev Matthew Fordwick decided to bring the community together where they could burn any and all German books. They felt that since the Nazis were burning our American books, that the action should not go unprotested. Reverend Fordwick wanted to have a symbolic book burning of their own. As he emphasized in the show, Hitler wanted to replace the bible with his book but that they would never allow it to happen in our country.

As you go on into the show episode, you quickly see what happens. They were beginning to throw books into the fire out of ignorance until John Boy risked his life and reputation to stand up for what he believed in. As he looked down at the pile of books on the ground, one caught his attention. He asked if there was anyone who could read German and when a lady finally got the courage to stand up and be recognized as a German, she began to read a section from the book in German. Up until this point, this lady had to hide the fact that she was German because of what people in our society would have done to her at the time. So, it was a big step for her to come forward and acknowledge who she was. Then, John Boy had her translate what she had just read into English and everyone quickly heard the beginning words of the Bible. It was a Bible written in German that they were going to burn. It was going to be burned out of ignorance and fear.

At the time, the enemy of the people of the United States was German. People wanted nothing to do with the Germans and considered them an evil people that were going to destroy our way of life. Does anyone see any parallels with today? What about any parallels with other groups of people like the Native Americans, the French, the Spanish, the British and the Japanese. At one time or another in our country's history, we have fought wars against people who we believed were going to destroy our way of life. When I was young, it was the communists. Now, it is the Muslims that we are taught to hate because of what a fringe group of people did that happen to be Muslim. Okay, you could strongly argue that they did the horrible atrocities on our soil because of their religion but again, it was a fringe group, not Muslims in general. Yes, you can argue your political points all day long and draw different conclusions but if you look at our history in this country, we are traveling down a similar path that we have traveled before.

Now a church in Gainesville, Florida called the "Dove Outreach Center" is proposing that we begin burning the Koran (the Holy Book of the Islam Religion). It does strike me as odd that the name of their church indicates a place of peace and love, yet what they are doing is anything but that. I would like to know where in the Bible, it describes Jesus participating and endorsing book burning such as what is being done. I'm sure they have some scripture they would quickly state that more than likely twists the words around for justification.

What disturbs me more is that they condemn and are angered by the way these other religions and countries burn our books and burn our flags. Yet, they are doing the very same thing. They are calling these other religions radical and extremist and hating what they do but the actions they are doing are the same as that which they hate. Am I the only one that can see this or are there more that are tired of the fringe in our country.

One would think that a "Dove Outreach Center" Church would truly practice love and peace, not hatred and acts of violence. I guess if they are going to burn their church hymnals, bibles and flags at the same time, than maybe it would make more sense. However, I doubt they will do that because it is not in their best interest to take this course of action.

I am saddened though that there is so much hatred against a people as a group for what a radical element perpetuated on our country. Yes, I do not stand by idly and think in any way that what happened on 9/11 was okay for these terrorists to do. But 20 people do not represent all parts of Islam or Islamic countries. Sure, I don't agree with many things taking place in some of these hard-line Islamic countries but I'm sure there are many things that other countries don't agree with the United States. Does that mean we have to hate? Does that mean we have to show our intolerance for others? Does it mean that we bastardize what love truly means?

Each of us should have the freedom to believe and live our lives in the way that we want to. This concept goes beyond our own liberty we participate in with our founding fathers. It is a basic human right that should be available to us regardless of laws, political affiliations, religious institutions and between the borders where you live. We weren't born to be controlled by anyone, no matter who they are.

Today, we have entered a time in our country where a few seem to feel they speak for many. Unfortunately, we have lost the individuality of ourselves as a human race where we can think for ourselves and speak for ourselves without following some political ideology or religious institution. We get so locked in to what the news media reports as true fact when there is hardly a moment where fact prevails. We have become mindless humans following the rest of the heard as if we were sheep walking out to a pasture.

My only hope is that we as a human race will wake up. I'm not talking about a particular country, religion or political party. These are lessor parts of the human race. What I am hoping is that we will all become aware of our short comings and how the actions we take impact the world as a whole. If we want to heal the world and bring peace to it, our actions must first begin with ourselves.

We are all connected together and our actions affect out entire civilization. We are approaching a time where we truly need to understand what this means. Following blindly what others say is not awareness and it is not an evolution of our species. We are meant to evolve but in order to do so, we must wake up. May we all wake up before it is too late.


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