Thursday, August 31, 2017

How We Learned To Deal With Trauma

Written by Don Shetterly

When you grow up in situations where trauma and abuse along with emotional and mental manipulation are what you know, you never quite have a fighting chance early in life.  How we learned to deal with trauma and stress was anything but normal for us.

We were never given the tools to know what to do.  We were never taught how to deal with the situations in which we found ourselves.

We grew up learning to survive.  We grew up learning to find the way through what was happening to us in the best way we knew how.  We often were focusing our attention on that moment of abuse we were enduring.  There was no learning how to deal with the trauma, let alone the stress in our lives.

Many of us found coping mechanisms to escape what was being done.  Some of us just stuffed it deep down inside.  Some of us tried to match the pain through the self-inflicted harm we did to our bodies.  These were survival techniques we employed because we knew nothing else.

As life continued, we faced new stressors and situations in life.  The usual part of growing up in a world that is sometimes far too harsh presented more challenges.  Our early go-to techniques did not match up to what we needed for those moments, and so the trauma replayed over and over.  The stress continued to build.

Foreign Invaders Of Our Mind and Body...

Regardless, we knew we had found a way to survive through all the abuse and trauma we had once endured, so we didn't give up.  We kept fighting.  We kept trying to figure it all out, but far too often, our insight was formed because of what we had to do to survive.  What we needed to do for our body and our mind became foreign invaders that we did not trust.

As we get to our current day, the techniques that once served us well and how we survived now fall short.  They exhaust us because they no longer do what we need for them to do.  We struggle, and we fight.  Some of us fall victim to this through suicide, cutting, chronic conditions, conversion disorder, anxiety, depression and a whole host of other outcomes.

Healing is not easy.  Learning to deal with trauma and stress without the necessary tools is an epic challenge.  I know in my own life that I had to see the things which once helped me survive no longer serve a useful purpose.  In their place, I needed to find new tools that would help.

When you have been through abuse and trauma, you become the parent to yourself and so starts the journey of learning how to deal with all of this.  You become the teacher and the student at the same time.  We did not learn to deal with trauma or stress, and now it impacts every facet of our lives.

This is where support of others who have been through this comes in to help.  It is where therapists and qualified practitioners that know how to walk through the fires of trauma and abuse help our healing.  It is where the process of healing, little by little, unfolds and helps awaken us to more of who we are, that we have hidden all these years.

Learning to deal with trauma and abuse is not something that is easy.  It is a challenge on our best days, and a horror filled nightmare on our worst days.

I have found in my own life that regardless of what was done to me and what I went through, I can heal and thrive and conquer so much of what was done to me.  I will not say it is easy.  I will not say it is a quick process, but I know it is one that I'm winning.

I have learned that to heal, I must feel in my body and that the more I can safely do this, the more I comprehend.  The trauma and abuse were stored in our body, and for me to fully heal all that was done, the body is at the center of these endeavors.

Yes, I have my good days and my bad days, but my life now is much more hopeful and full of possibility than it once was.  I know that even though I never learned to deal with trauma and abuse as a kid, I'm now coming to a greater understanding of what that means for my own life.  There is hope and possibility through trauma.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

In The Little Steps We Heal

Written By Don Shetterly

When you've been through sexual abuse, rape, and trauma, healing isn't fun.  Often times it can be overwhelming, to say the least, to figure out how to feel or if you really want to go through the journey of healing.

It is in the little steps that we heal, though while the horrors are raging in our life, sometimes that is hard to remember.  While we want our life to be past all that was done to us, it isn't that simple. I know that as I look back in my own life, I see the moments come together where I was making more progress than I thought I was.

Little steps of healing seem so insignificant when we are in the middle of them.  Sometimes we feel like we've only moved an inch up a 5000-mile high mountain.  Yet, if we didn't move that inch, we would not be any further to climbing the mountain.

I Cannot Do That...

If you look at a mountain and try to picture yourself climbing it in one step, you'd probably laugh and say, "I cannot do that!"  Yet, in our healing, we try to force ourselves to do that, and then we exhaust ourselves.  We make healing into such a monumental task that we want to give up before we start.

Instead, if we looked at the mountain and allowed ourselves to climb a few feet or however far we chose to go that day, we would make major progress.  Yes, we might face rock slides, storms, and get thirsty.  Yes, it might be treacherous in moments where our feet slip.

The more we allow ourselves to climb at our own pace, taking the little steps, the further we will go. It is in the little steps of that day that we get higher and higher, further and further.

In my own life, I've been able to look back and realize that all of those little steps I was taking, whether I knew it or not, were getting me further.  They were helping me to find the authentic part of myself that I didn't know existed.

They were taking me to higher points along the path, so that now I could see things more clearly than when I was several feet back.  The vantage point and viewing changed as I went further, but I had to climb through those little steps at the beginning of the journey to see more.

Healing isn't easy.  At times, we want to give up thinking we've not gone very far.  It is in those moments that we have most likely gone much further in the journey than we realize.  If we turn back too quickly, we may miss the monumental plateau that is right ahead of us.

Honor and allow the little steps because when we do, we will find out that we are healing our lives.

In the little steps, we heal.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Turn The Divisiveness Off

Written by Don Shetterly

It is too easy for us to engage with behaviors we think are helpful, but not be fully engaged as human beings.  We want to be conscious.  We want to be aware, but more often than not, we participate in life unconsciously.

It is epidemic these days as so many find their sustenance through every news headline, broadcast, and news shows.  They decry that which is said, but they cannot get enough of it.  They thrive on all that is reported as if their life will crumple to the ground without it.  If it is not the news, it is people that are like minded they listen to as if it is the gospel truth.

Many people say, "That's Not Me!" 

Many will say, "I Don't Do That!" 

Unfortunately, they do.

If as many people did not watch the TV news as said they did, we would see different programming.  If as many people didn't crave everything politicians said or tweeted, we wouldn't see much of this stuff show up.  If we learned to respect those we disagree with, we would be much more human and loving than we are.

The news and various people across the spectrum of our society get people cranked up.  They say and do things that will get a rise out of people and get them to respond.  Even while saying they won't, people seem not to be able to help themselves.

We worry far too much about what is in the news these days. My personal opinion is that there are little substance and value in the news reports.  Our society bases so much of our life upon this while screaming and raving about it.

If you want to bring change to the world, then turn the TV off.  There's very little value in what is purported to be news, and that is from all perspectives.  There is not anything out there worth consuming.  The more people that turn the TV off, the more things will change.

Yes, that is my view and opinion, but I do put my money where my mouth is.  We no longer get regular TV because it just had very little value to it for the money spent.  At first, I thought I could never do this, but I can tell you that I'm so happy we did.  We no longer miss it, and I believe that we've found a little more peace in a day.

The people grandstanding for all to hear in these times, thrives on someone listening to them.  If they are met with silence, it becomes like a clanging gong that no one needs to hear.  The best thing you can do to stop it is to just not listen.  Turn it off.

There is so much more to life, and we are consumed as a society by what is fed to us every day.  Let us find the joy and the peace, not the anxiety and despair.  Let us find love towards one another, not divisiveness and hatred.

The choice is up to each one of us in how we choose to live our daily lives and what we allow in.  We are at a turning point I believe, and I hope that each one of us will choose wisely each and every morning we awaken.

Our body, mind, spirit, and heart will thank us for it.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Our Bodies Are Not Made To Be Sick

(Written by Insights Into Healing, Barbara)

My grandmother was the one who introduced me to natural healing. When I was around 11, she told me what most people say about sickness is wrong…  and if you believe them, then you are giving in to that part that doesn’t have to be true.  She taught me I could heal any stomach ache, and almost any pain.  That’s where that belief stuck with me.

We need to teach children at a very early age that it’s not normal to be sick.   Our bodies are not made to be sick.   They’re made to be well!  Sicknesses often come from the misguided part of our beliefs, and that comes through from generation to generation.  You have parents that have a child who gets a headache, and they’re running them to the emergency room.   You’re teaching them at a young age that no matter how you feel, if it’s uncomfortable, there’s something wrong with you.   On the other hand, if you’re taught that you are well, that there is no sickness inside of you, then the opposite will happen.

Create and Reverse Illness...

Not only can our minds create illnesses, but they can also reverse them.  That’s how powerful our minds are.  We are the creator of our story, our life, what we carry inside us.

People buy into surgery and drugs as the norm.    Surgery puts your body through all kinds of trauma, instead of letting it heal on its own.  People are also tired of the medical field telling them to take this or take that pill.  You’re only meant to take them for a very short time, not a lifetime, and they give them to you for a lifetime.  Then they add to it because it no longer works.

The Mind Is The Power...

I’ve learned over and over again that our mind is the power.  If we can correct our mind to let go of the false beliefs, the ego, and what is dictated to us, then we can turn inward to discover whatever is inside our body, be it cancer or any illness at all, and literally heal it.   But it takes a lot of work.  Is it possible?  Yes, it’s possible, it happens all the time.  It’s about our inward communication.

The more I go in, the more work I do inside of myself, in my body, the more I discover that memory is stored everywhere.   It’s not just the stomach, it’s not just the heart, it’s everywhere, and our life stories – the things that have been painful to us, that have hurt us, that have created anger and hate -- are stored in all areas of the body, just waiting to come out and be healed.  The cells tell the mind what to do.

Going inward and surrendering to it will open the story.  It will pop a memory in your brain so fast.  To surrender does not mean to forget.   Surrendering is the part that says you just let go, and it comes out.  It’s not that all of a sudden the memory comes into your head and you decipher it.   When you do that, you’re putting It back into your body.

What you want to do is heal the pain, not just take it away.  The pain is there to remind you not to forget that there’s something that needs to be healed.  When you have the pain, you have that opportunity to go in and see what it is.   Is it a certain memory?  Is it a certain emotion?  When you find what it is, don’t take it and see what you can do with it.   Acknowledge it.  That’s it.   It’s in acknowledgment that the body releases it.   You no longer need to carry this. 

You can release it!

 - Barbara (Insights Into Healing)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Barbara
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Friday, August 25, 2017

Giant Sequoias Thrive On Fire

Written By Don Shetterly

The other day I came across something that I thought was unique.  I didn't know it, and I found it interesting.  Giant Sequoias thrive on fire.

Forest fires actually help these giant sequoia trees.  I've never gotten to see one except in a picture online, but they look like majestic trees.

Fire does not destroy these trees, and in fact, it helps in the germination of the seeds and seedling growth.  Without fire, the seeds are not released, and these trees do not grow.  Besides, fire helps reduce the competition of other species of trees so that the sequoias can grow.

I often think about the stuff I went through as a kid, and it was not easy.  From the sexual abuse to the torture and physical, emotional and mental abuse, my life was not easy.  You could easily say I had been put through the fire.

Without the struggle in my life...

While I struggle to write this thought, I realize that without what I had been through in my life, I would not have become what I am today.  I recognize that, and I hate that statement, but deep down I know it is true for my life.

I'm not condoning abuse in any way, but I know that without it, I could not be there for others in the way that I am.  It is through that experience that I'm able to understand what others have gone through and how I can support them.

Sometimes the fires of life are more challenging than we can accept, but they are there for a reason.  That's my belief of course.  You're free to not believe that if you want.  I just know that in my own life, the fires helped open up a side of me that may not have emerged without it.

The Giant Sequoias are an example of how nature uses something that destroys most trees to regenerate and help it grow and thrive.  It seems that nature always finds a way to balance things out.

In my own life, I can see the same.  Even though it doesn't make the journey easier, at least I know there is a larger purpose for my life than what I experienced.  I strive to be all that I can be so that I can help others as they walk the treacherous journey healing from abuse.

See this source to Learn More About The Giant Sequoias

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Turning Over Stones In Life

Written By Don Shetterly

Back in the early days when I found out I had Conversion Disorder, I was struggling and fighting for my life.  I was struggling not only to survive but to figure out how to function.

The paralysis started to get better, but my legs and body were weak.  My memory had gone, so remembering anything required me to write it down on a piece of paper, or it was like I was not even aware of it.  Anxiety attacks had become my best friend.  Depression and suicide were my goals.

I had no hope that anything would get better.  I wasn't sure how it would.  I was stuck in the pain and fear of a cycle that had been playing out for many years.  The only thing is I was a participant in all that was going on in my life.

When I read the limited stuff I could find about Conversion Disorder, I saw that it will probably ease and subside.  However, the chances of it showing up again were pretty high, and subsequent attacks were more the norm.  That was what the literature showed in some study that I have misplaced now.

It was pure torture every day...

In my mind, I wanted to give up and die.  The daily struggle was difficult.  I had a family turn against me.  I was fighting to re-enter life again and function in a job so I could exist.  There was nothing fun about my life at that moment.  It was pure torture every day.

I was not prepared to accept what the medical establishment would say was the outcome and prognosis of my future days.  I was not prepared to accept that I would struggle daily with anxiety attacks, depression, and suicide attempts.  I was not prepared to stay on medication forever and ever.

Yet, I had no idea how to get out of this.  I knew of no way to go from where I was at that moment to where my mind thought was possible.  I felt like giving up.  I felt like the struggle was just too much.

Something kept me going...

Something inside kept me from giving up.  Something kept me going.  Something deep inside of me kept telling me it was possible to heal and make it.

I started to look at what others were doing and looked for the moments within them that helped them.  Yes, there is plenty that people do which is not helpful, but I tried to see beyond that moment.  I tried to find the reality and authenticity of what was helping to make them better.

I started to turn over every stone in my path and find anything that helped.  I turned over many stones.  Not all of the stones were helpful to me, and sometimes it exhausted me.  Every now and then I would come across one stone that really helped me, and I would study it, learn from it and embrace it.  The stones that didn't help, I would try to push to the side of the path where others had placed similar stones.

Sometimes I needed a rest...

Sometimes I would find a resting place along my path and sit down for awhile, since I had no more energy to go on and I had no more will to fight.  It was those moments, I learned, that were necessary for me to continue.

Even through the most difficult and darkest of moments, something deep inside kept me going.  Often it was a small little pilot light that burned, but somehow I knew it was there.  I knew there was a spark within me waiting to ignite and propel me forward.

I never accepted any condition by any doctor as being the sole source of my health and well-being.  I knew there was more and I was not about to let anyone tell me that the condition I was in was the way things would be.  I fought tooth and nail most days, but I knew that I had to keep going.

I had to keep searching, for the alternative to continuing my journey was a life that was more frightening than I realized.  My evidence was Conversion Disorder, and I was not about to go back to those moments where my life almost ended.

I pass on to those who struggle to not give up where you are in the journey.  I realize the fight is hard.  I realize it is exhausting.  I realize it is easy to give up.

Don't give up!

Don't stop!

Turn over every stone you find in your path until you find one that propels you forward and then ride it for as long as you can.  Let it help you find the next stone to turn over and take you forward in your life.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Love The One You Are With

Written By Don Shetterly

I see so many hurtful comments online, and I hear them in person from people who are married or together within a relationship.  It is almost like they despise being with this person or married to them and it boggles my mind.

Should it not be, love the one you're with?

Growing up in my house, not only did I witness domestic violence but I regularly heard my dad gripe and complain about my mom.  Nothing she did was ever enough.  Being a woman, he was so derogatory against her, and it was things that should have never been said to a child.

Stop complaining about your wife...

I saw someone the other day complaining on social media that he hated his job, but it was better than going home to his wife that he despised.  I was stunned as I read this.  My only thought was "why is he with his wife if he hates her that much."

Men have a long ways to go in this area.  If you can't treat the person you are with in respect, why are you with them?  Maybe you need to do some soul searching because more than likely, it is not only your wife that has issues.

Respect the ones we love...

I've been with my husband for 17 years and only married now for one year.  I would never think of disparaging him in the way I saw my dad do or I see others do.  I love him with all my heart and have from the moment we met.  Our love has only grown deeper with each day.

If we don't respect those we meet or are in a relationship, what does that say about us as an individual?  If we don't show love to them, how can we expect to be loved?  More than likely we don't love or respect ourselves, and that is where it begins.

Just because a father or others show disrespect, it does not mean you have to propagate this forward.  If you're in a relationship where disrespect is at the heart of all you do, you may need to evaluate why you are in that relationship.  Life is too short to go around hating and disrespecting others, especially those that we profess we love.

Come on men - let's strive to do better.  Let's make our words count, not just be ones that are spoken.  Let's own what we say and show by example that we value others in our life.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Loyalty Of Child Abusers

Written By Don Shetterly

One of the things I witnessed and saw in my house was how my dad controlled everyone.  I can remember him shouting at us that if we ever went to the cops for what he did to us, that it would be the last thing we did.  As evidenced of what he did to our pets, there was no mistaking what he meant.

He demanded complete loyalty to him.  He accepted nothing but us worshiping at his feet.  He would explain to us that we are family and that family loves one another.  If we questioned this in any way, it was that we had no loyalty or love for our family.

My dad would scream and rant and rave.  He'd pound his fist on the table to make his point.  There was no double crossing the family.  There was no double crossing him.  You had to back him up no matter what for anything he did.

His transgressions included child sexual abuse, rape, molestation, physical beatings, emotional abuse, domestic violence again my mom, lying and cheating.  They also included the murder of innocent pets via the use of guns or drowning in rivers.

He demanded loyalty...

Of course, he demanded loyalty.  We were not allowed to say anything to anyone.  We feared for our own lives.

Later on, when I was in the hospital and dared to speak out about what I had been through, he quit talking to me.  He showed me what the silent treatment was all about because I dared to stand up and say, this wasn't right.  In fact, he turned my entire family against me including neighbors and friends that I had known for a long time.

Does this sound like someone that should deserve loyalty and respect?  Hopefully, your answer is NO!  Anyone that does not allow for dissent or a difference of opinion is not a healthy individual.  If you do not permit yourself to be challenged, you are not a strong person in my view.

I'm so tired of hearing about loyalty these days.  I've heard it so many times in jobs.  The companies that tried to tell me they would never ask me to cheat or lie are the ones that broke the rules.  These were major corporations.

Loyalty is not about breaking the law or following someone blindly.  It is about having the respect for others.  It is about gaining respect because you earned it and you deserve it.  It is not given because you threaten people or you scream and yell at them.

The ego loves greed and control.  It likes to manipulate and punish those who don't accept their ideas as law.  It is not about being human.

We need to wake up in this world because each one of us that falls into these traps diminishes our light and our love in this world.  The more we feed the control and manipulation of the ego, the more it grows.

I so wish that I could have stood up to my dad but there would have been no one that would have listened in those days.  The payback would have been hell if I had not succeeded.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, August 21, 2017

Medium Life - When Spirit Says Thank You

(Written by A Happy Medium, Amanda)

I had completely different plans for my column this month, but I was sidetracked by this fantastic thing that happened in my house. A light bulb came on over my head and I thought to myself, “Self, people are always asking you about spirit communication. Maybe you should talk about the ways in which spirits say thank you after readings.”

What a great idea!

So those of you that have known me for a while know that I provide readings to clients in my home. When giving a reading, I open myself up to the guides, angels, archangels, Ascended Masters and deceased loved ones associated with the client.

The messages come through and I pass those on to my clients, but what happens after the reading?

Sometimes, spirits are so glad to communicate, they thank me. People often ask me if I am afraid of the spirits. My answer to that is, usually no. I set strong boundaries and protection around my house that the only energies that can enter are positive and high vibrational, so I’m not really too concerned about finding anything scary (I have had one scary, dark entity in my house – but that’s a subject for another post!).

Hopefully my clients won’t mind that I share these stories. Of course, I won’t share any names or really specific details.

A while ago, I did a reading for a girl who came to see me and I picked up on a child energy that was around her. There was a child in the family who had passed away. I can’t remember the circumstances now, but I think she was stillborn (so sad!). The family still remembers the little girl, of course. I kept seeing a connection to toys and balloons. The client told me that she had often experienced this energy wanting to play with her when she was a child and that now all these years later (she has a child of her own), she’s noticed this energy again coming to play with her own child. I brought through the messages from the spirit and continued on with the reading and the client left.

I was sitting on my couch surfing Facebook and decompressing from the reading when a helium balloon floated past me. I was in the house, the windows were closed and the heat wasn’t on. The balloon came floating into the living room at a pretty good speed as if it was being pulled. I think it was a Santa Claus balloon that we had bought for my son.   I just looked up from my Facebook perusal and said, “That’s weird.” Then I remembered the little spirit from the reading. I just looked up at the balloon floating in the living room and said, “You’re welcome!”

You can hear me?

When I’m giving readings, I often hear spirits say, “You can hear me?” or “I’m trying really hard to communicate and this is how I do it.”

It’s interesting how they communicate. It could be something like smelling their scent, or lights going on and off, or finding coins or repetitive numbers. There are a lot of ways they use to let us know that they are still here.

I was doing a reading for a couple of clients back to back this week. I was talking about the way that this spirit communicates and asked them if they have noticed that lights are on when they come home, or that taps are running because I feel a real connection to water and electricity. It really felt to me like this spirit was manifesting using light switches.

I finished my reading on Wednesday evening, saged, closed the channel and went off to bed not really thinking any more about it.

I have to add a little bit of backstory here. So, we have a gas fireplace in my house and it’s never really worked properly. It’s controlled by a switch which is next to the fireplace, and try as I might in the winter, I’ve never really been able to get it to work. We had a repairman come in and service it once, but even since then, the fireplace really hasn’t worked that well.

You also need to know that where I live in B.C., Canada we have wildfires decimating a large portion of our province and this week we are in the middle of a heat wave.  It’s been 34 degrees Celsius where we live for a few days now.

On Thursday morning, I woke up to go to work and my husband came up from the basement (he works nights). He asked me who turned on the fireplace. Apparently he got home around 5AM and it was about 96 F in the living room.

I raised an eyebrow at him and commented that the fireplace has never really worked properly. Anyway, why would I turn on the fireplace when it’s so hot out? He said he didn’t know, but when he came home it was on, blazing away.

Suddenly it clicked.

I said that it must have been that spirit I brought in the night before who told me he was manifesting and using light switches.  I had a reading last night with the sister of the client I read on Wednesday and told her about the fireplace. She laughed and said that it was probably something he would do.

Last night after her reading, I saged really well and told him that he shouldn’t turn on the fireplace anymore because it is so hot! Sure enough this morning it was still off. I released him with love. I think it was his way of saying, “Thanks. You got it right. You brought a lot of comfort to my family.”

It’s another way this work is so rewarding. Not only do you bring comfort to the living, but you bring communication and comfort to the spirits that are trying to get through. So wonderful. So if you do something for a spirit and you notice something strange happening, maybe you have asked for help making a decision or you’ve asked them to manifest, trust that what has happened is down to them.

I always think it’s neat when I get a little nod from the spirit world!

Until the next time!

 - Amanda (A Happy Medium)

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Amanda
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Sunday, August 20, 2017

Winning From Within Masterclass

Many years ago when I was first out of college, I came across a tape cassette self-listening course by Denis Waitley.  The title of it was The Psychology Of Winning.  I was just starting to emerge and spread my wings at that time, and  quickly fell in love with this course.

I recall listening to it many times over and over again.  I loved every bit of it because I was struggling with depression and did not even realize it at that point.  I was trying to figure out my life and attempting to find my place in this world.  The cassette course was one of those things that every time I listened to it, I heard something different and got something new out of it.

If you know me well, you know I don't go for things that have hollow meaning to them, or are surface oriented.  I go for the things that make me think and help wake me up.  I go for the ones that are authentic and real while making sense in a way that I can understand it.

Unfortunately, I loaned my course to a friend, and when he died not long ago, I never got it back.  Hopefully, someone out there is enjoying it, but I do miss it.  So when I saw that Mind Valley was hosting a masterclass with Denis Waitley, I could hardly contain my excitement.

I didn't know that Denis Waitley had helped train Apollo astronauts at NASA and U.S. Olympians.  I didn't realize he had worked with major U.S. corporations, but I can see that his material and information would be helpful to many.

Mind Valley is now offering a Masterclass course that is a 90-day quest designed to help you master medal winning mindsets and talk yourself up to success while training your brain to win from within.

According to Mind Valley, on every day of this 12-week journey, you will learn new strategies and easy to implement techniques that will make mastering positive self-talk seem like second nature.  You will be inspired as you install the same "win in your sleep" techniques Denis Waitley uses with U.S. Olympians and NASA astronauts to perform superhuman feats.  Here's more, in their words:

Discover 5 powerful ways to achieve buzzer beating, heart pounding personal and business victories. Register for this month’s FREE Masterclass with the the only coach NASA Astronauts and Olympic Athletes trust to help them win from within, Denis Waitley.

By the end of this Masterclass you’ll discover how to do what you love, love what you do and unleash the hidden potential within.  Click here to register and book your free spot!

I'm looking forward to this FREE masterclass myself because I know that Denis Waitley's earlier course helped me in the past.  I hope you'll check out more information on the Psychology Of Winning.

Don't take my word on the power of Denis Waitley and this program.  See for yourself and sign up to hear the free Masterclass.  Did I mention that the masterclass is FREE?

Click Here To Sign Up
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Leave a comment and let me know what you thought of the free Masterclass and what you learned.  I'll be looking forward to reading your comments.

By the way, this free Masterclass is only available from August 20 to August  28, 2017, so don't miss out!

Blog Post (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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  • I am an affiliate for Mind Valley, but I only promote programs that have made a difference in my life.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Noticing Body and Rash More

 Written By Don Shetterly

One of the things I've noticed since some of the major healing session work I had done last Monday is how much more I notice.  Okay, I'm not talking about the itching or feeling the rash, I'm talking about what kicks it up.

Before the healing session work, I just noticed constant itching and burning from the rash.  It was uncomfortable.  It was not easy to deal with, and the warm summer weather made it worse.  I just could not articulate anything that kicked it up as it seemed to have a mind of its own.

Since the healing session, I've noticed the little things that kick it up.  I've seen how things kick up the body temperature in me where it feels like my body is consumed by fire.

The rash seems to act as a barometer for me in the little moments that most of us don't notice in a ay.  Even the slightest word or thought or comment kicks it into high gear.

Now, I'm noticing how my body temperature rises instantly, or at least it feels like an increase.  It goes from normal to feeling as if my body is on fire and being consumed.

I am beginning to see that the minute something comes along which affects me emotionally, the rash and itching start cranking up the response.  It does not take much.  At times, I find myself thinking - that's what kicked it up?  You've got to be kidding!

Yes, I know I am a sensitive person.  I pick up so much, and most of the time, it scares the daylights out of me.  Most of the time, I just shut down what I sense and pick up because it is often too much.

The rash is bringing all of this front and center.  Yes, I do realize that there are other things involved that are impacting me but to see, fully, what is going on is helping me.

Before this, I was oblivious to all that was involved which makes it hard to heal something.  Now, I'm seeing the little pieces and am more aware and in control of what is happening.  This puts me in the driver's seat, rather than just someone along for the ride.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Feel Your Body

Okay, the title of that blog post might be raising a few eyebrows and if it is, I'm okay with that.  There is nothing wrong with the statement, and I'm not trying to dupe you into something that is not.  Trust me, the statement "feel your body" is pure, and it is helpful.

Most of us humans go through life not feeling our bodies.  Yes, we think we do, and that we are in touch with it.  Unfortunately, we are very good at fooling ourselves far too often.  I know, no one wants to hear that, but it is true.

There are reasons why we don't completely feel our bodies.  I don't want anyone to be too hard on themselves for not feeling their body because, in many ways, this is part of being human and aware.

Some of the reasons that we do not feel our body include the following:

  1. Past experiences.
  2. Stress in our lives (whether we create it or it is around us).
  3. Physical issues we are struggling with.
  4. Diet.
  5. The level of exercise and activity.
  6. How we learned to deal with stress in life.
  7. Trauma.
  8. Abuse
  9. Rape
  10. Childhood Sexual Abuse.
  11. Unconsciousness.
  12. Numbness.
  13. Keeping ourselves busy all the time.
  14. Not taking the time to feel.
  15. Being afraid to feel.
  16. Dealing with an overwhelming life.
  17. Dealing with chronic pain.
  18. How we connect with the world around us.
  19. Immersed in the latest news and issues of the day.
  20. Avoidance

These are some of the reasons why we do not feel in our bodies.  With some of these, it is easy to look at and understand.  With some of the other reasons, it may be harder to understand.

When I was working a nonstop schedule of weekly travel and handling 400 to 600 emails a day. plus being the lead tech support person for a project, I found myself feeling almost no pain.  However, even though I didn't feel it, the pain was taking its toll on me through exhaustion.

It was when I finally stopped for a moment that the pain caught up with me, and it was not pretty.  I had suppressed it so much that I didn't feel it.

I'm amazed at what our bodies do to us and for us when we are oblivious to reality.  I saw this play out when Conversion Disorder paralyzed me.  I have observed it play out in other people and at other times in my life.

Recently, I went through some major healing work because anxiety, depression, despair, and pain were getting to be too much for me.  I could hardly go on in life.  I did not realize how painful my hamstring area was until I got in that session and allowed myself to feel.  Of course, the muscles were exhibiting the reactions to trauma from years past, but I was completely oblivious to it.

I see people talk about stress being all in our heads, but that could not be farther from the truth.  Stress is everywhere.  Yes, some don't feel it consciously, but it is there.  Stress impacts us every day, and if we hide from it and ignore it, then it will build up.  As stress continues to build, it will get our attention at some point in life.

If you're going through chronic pain and other conditions, you may be feeling pain but there is so much other stuff that has been blocked. It pushes the limits of pain to levels that are extremely difficult to endure.  It is as if one side of life has been pushed to the max while another side of life has been forgotten and numbed.

Feeling your body can be scary and frightening.  We have plenty of medications and drugs out there to prove this.  There are enough wine, alcohol and OTC pain relievers so help us disconnect and numb from what is going on.

Sometimes past experiences impact us more than we realize, and they start suppressing one side of our body systems while elevating other parts.  The more this happens, the more the fear increases and when it gets to be too much, we are shutting down our connection to what is going on in our bodies.

It is natural for humans to do this.  It is part of our survival mode, but unfortunate the survival mode doesn't get turned off after stress or experiences or past abuse and trauma.  Our brain then gets hijacked by all that happened to us or all that we experience, leaving us as puppets, rather than in control of our lives.

The more we can stop and recognize all of this, the greater the chance we have to overcome so much.  Experiences in life, stress, and trauma that we have endured suppress the healing power we have within us.

Just recognizing this in the mind is not enough.  It is only part of the equation.  We need to go in and feel our bodies.  We need to go in and feel every fiber of every muscle and each cell of every tissue.  It is through that connection to the body that we give ourselves the greatest hope of being more than we are.

The more we feel in the body, the more we can enact change and make better choices for our lives.  If we don't do this, the stress and trauma will take over and leave us as bystanders in our own life.  We have the option to connect more than we do and if we do this, the payoff is far beyond anything you most likely can comprehend in this moment.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Healing The Physical Trauma of Child Abuse

Written by Don Shetterly

This Unified Therapy session wasn't easy.  It was tough beyond any words that I can write.  In fact, just getting myself to see Dr. Canali was more than difficult.  I procrastinated.  I tried to wish it away.  I tried to numb it away.

No matter what, as hard as I tried to wish it away, my avoidance was not helping the issue at all.  I was begging for mercy.  I wanted relief.  I could not find it on my own no matter what I was doing.  As I wrote a few days earlier in a blog post, it was the Rash That Won't Stop that got me to the point where I finally went to see Dr. Canali.

My life had become one of so much difficulty with little sleep.  The burning and itching I described in that blog post were no lies.  It was all too real.  My anger was hard to contain with everyone and everything.  I did not know at that moment before the session if I could make it through this.  I was not sure if I could make it through this.  The session with Dr. Canali had become my last hope.

What I had written, I shared...

I shared with him what I had written in that blog post. I couldn't even manage to get the words out.  My voice would not articulate them.  As he sat down beside the massage table and read them out loud to me, my eyes welled up with tears.  To most people, they are words on a page.  To me, they were heartaches and pain from the abuse I suffered.

As we began to go into what was coming up in my body, it was evident to Dr. Canali and myself just how locked up my pelvis and abdomen were.  In fact, most of my pants were not fitting at that time.  They felt like 5 sizes too small.  The itching in this area was intense.  Any touch anywhere close and the pain would shoot through my body like there was no end.

Moving through things, everything from the itching to the heat in my body and the pain would kick up.  We would take it as far as we could, and then Dr. Canali would allow me to drop back down.  It felt like a physical workout.  It felt like there were moments that were almost too much.  However, I knew that this was part of the healing process.

An empowerment boost of healing...

The more I started to see that we could go into all of these things and then drop back into a more peaceful state, the more empowered my body became. It was as if pushing into these difficult moments and then dropping back was an empowerment boost.  A boost that kept me taking on more of the trauma my body had been holding for many years.

Some of these trauma memories of abuse that I was dealing with, I have seen in other forms and ways at various times.  However, this one was the more physical side of being raped and held down with no way to stop it.  It started by the time I was around six years old and continued until I was much older.

As we moved through the session, we discussed those things, and I was allowed to share them.  It wasn't easy to say the words.  It wasn't easy to recognize just how much the evil and darkness of these abusers and tried to squash any hope for light and existence I had.

The Body Shows The Trauma...

The physical trauma resides in the body.  The body remembers even if we attempt to keep it from reliving memories from years past.  The brain will try to block it, but when the body shows the evidence, it is then that the brain is in survival and numbing.

As we went through the session, I could feel the physical tension leaving my body.  It was more than if I had gotten a relaxing massage.  It was where my body goes into that deep peace and rest that it desperately needs.  The itching came down.  The pain came down.  The elevated body temperature I was feeling dropped down.

I noticed as we left the office and went out into the summer heat of a South Florida afternoon, that I was tolerating the heat much better.  Before this moment, I could barely stand in the summer heat for a few minutes.

I noticed that the world around me seemed more at peace.  I sensed the quiet stillness accessible to me even though the hustle and bustle of the city continued.  I felt lighter and more joyful.  I felt more hopeful and alive than I had a little while earlier that day.

As we left to go back to the hotel, I started to notice that the pants which were tight on me before the session, were now needing a belt.  There was so much physical tension in my abdomen and waist that had released that I could barely keep my pants up.  It shocked me because it showed me just how much trauma I was holding in my physical body.

I went from not wanting anyone close to me touching me to allowing myself to be touched.  I went from wanting no intimacy to welcoming it happily.

In that session with Dr. Canali, so much physically changed in my body.  It was like I was coming back into my body and learning to live life again as was meant for me to experience.

Healing Is More Than A Mental Exercise...

Once again, the work and concepts that Dr. Canali has discovered are helping me understand what trauma does to the body and how we store all of this for years and years.  It is not just a mental exercise.  It is an exercise where you connect the mind with what comes up in the body and then you are gently guided in different ways how to let go of it all.  It is a process that helps you find deep healing and peace, that is more than a quick point of change.  This healing is lasting.

As I write this, several days after the session, I can still feel my body letting go and processing all that went on in that session.  I can feel how little moments in life kick up the body temperature or the itching while being able to talk myself back down and put reality in perspective with what I am feeling.

Yes, I've had moments of anger and frustration, but I can deal with them more appropriately than I was.  I'm able to go in and stop and rest and allow my body to just be in the moment.  I've been able to be in a hot tub and sauna, be outside in the heat of an afternoon and not feel like I was going to lose my mind or pass out and drop on the ground.

I'm working to take care of myself, changing how I see things in my life and observing how I react.  I want the reactions to be from a more mind and body centered approach than feeling like an unwilling participant.  I'm focusing on the bigger picture of my life much more than I have been and seeing how all of this plays into where my life goes.

I'm monitoring how much I let in from the world that is full of screaming, anger, rage, and disrespect because the actions I see every day do nothing to help me in my own life.  I'm allowing myself to disconnect from them and replace them with things that are genuinely helpful.  I know that if I get caught up in the darkness of the day, it will do nothing positive for me.

Most of all, I feel better.  I feel more empowered.  I feel more centered.  It is like there is now hope where I thought I had lost all hope.

I'm thankful for Unified Therapy and Dr. Paul Canali and what he knows and how he helps me.  He is one of a kind.  If there are others beyond him (and a few other practitioners) that can do what he does for me, I have not found them.  He is a pioneer in the field of healing trauma.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Fearing The Fear

Written By Don Shetterly

If you've read much on my blog, you'll see that this subject has been one of my most challenging experiences in my life.  Fearing the fear consumed my life at one time, but over the years and through my healing, I've learned more how to deal with fear.

I am not going to sit here and write that fear is an easy thing for me to overcome.  I'm not going to give you some platitude or meme that says you can wave a magic wand and be in control of fear.  Those things are not helpful to healing and our growth.  They are stumbling blocks if we subscribe to them.

When I was in a healing session the other day, I started to notice the little things where fear would come on strong in me.  In these Unified Therapy healing sessions, we are encouraged to bring the fear up, not shove it down or hide from it or numb it.  It is the time to bring it up.

The "oh no" mode...

For me that day, the office air conditioning kicking on sent the fear going sky high.  It wasn't easy, and at first, I could notice my breath going into fear mode.  I could feel my body begin to tense up.  I could see that my mind was starting to go into the "oh no" mode.  It felt like everything was going to come crashing down on me and that my life at that moment would come to an end.

Fearing the fear was where I was in that particular moment.  There are reasons that all of this was coming up, but that detail is for another blog post.  Just recognizing how strong the fear was getting and how much was coming at me, my body went into the defensive mode of survival.

In a Unified Therapy healing session, you don't stay in this moment.  You are taken through it by Dr. Canali gently guiding you to feel in your body, sense what is going on, and remind yourself that it is fear, not the end of the world.

As you go in and begin to connect with the fear in your body, there are often emotions or physical sensations that appear as they did for me that day.  The anger and pain surfaced.  The emotions of sadness and grief showed up.  The point of not being able to stop what had happened to me as a kid was the dynamite ready to ignite.

In this session, I also did one more thing, and that was telling myself that what happened to me many years ago is not happening now.  Dr. Canali, of course, was coaching me through this, but just that realization in that particular moment was a big one for me.  It helped me to connect reality with fear.  It helped me to see that I feared the fear, but that the current reality was different.

Yes, there is a mental exercise in stopping how you deal with fear, but this approach that is so healing and empowering is body centered.  If I didn't deal with what was going on in my body, it would be nothing more than platitudes about how to treat fear.

Most of the time in healing, we deal with fear from an intellectual mind-centered level.  However, fear resides in the body, and if you fail to go in and touch the depths of it within the cells, you're only working with half the healing potential.

The further you can go in and feel it within the body, the more you will supercharge your healing.  Healing from the core of your cells in the body is lasting and life changing.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, August 14, 2017

Stop Bugging Me - Back Away Bugs

(Written by Natural Healing Gal, Marie)

Back Away Bugs

If you have not already read the previous month's column, Living With Bugs, take a look at it because it fits in with this month's column.

Back in the early 80’s, before I became a professional dog trainer, I was a dog groomer. I learned a lot more than I ever wanted to know about ticks and fleas, their life cycle, feeding, breeding. Oh, yuck. Not pleasant. But it helps to know the information if you want to research what attracts them and how to repel them.

I currently teach dog training classes every evening, outdoors at dusk. It was not fun the first couple of years. Bugs LOVE me. Or they hate me. I guess they are just hungry and everyone has to eat!

Every morning Mike and I went to the beach for qigong class. It was a sunrise class that was beautiful and peaceful until the summer no-see-ums tried to mess with us. Then we all began sharing different natural formulas, as none of us wanted anything toxic on our skin.

You can see that I have plenty of time to test out products. And test them, I do! I have gone through many different essential oil recipes and many different pre-made brands over the 12 years we have been here. Some worked a little, but not so much. I finally found a good combination that works for us.

I have found that different formulas may work differently for some than for others. I am not sure why, but there are some products that people swear by that did not work for me and vice versa. The point is, don’t give up on using natural bug repellant if something does not work for you. There are many good ones out there that are worth a try. Be sure to check for skin sensitivity on you and your pets, even with natural products. There are also some people who are more attractive to certain bugs than others. I see this with dogs as well. Some dogs are magnets for ticks! Others barely get noticed by those nasty critters. Bugs Off Of Me

To keep bugs off of me outdoors, I found No no-see-um.  It is a combination of lemongrass, citronella, and geranium rose oil. I used it regularly for mosquitoes at dusk, and it worked really well. Unfortunately, when I used it for sunrise on the beach, it did not work for the no-see-ums!

I then found Terra Shield from Do terra. Terra Shield is a blend of several oils, including citronella and cedar wood.  This worked beautifully for me, both on the beach at sunrise and for mosquitoes at dusk! It comes in a 30 ml spray bottle and in a 15 ml refill. You can apply it as is, but it is a little thick, so I dilute with water, and shake before each spray.

Keeping Fleas and Ticks Off Of My Dogs

To keep fleas and ticks off my dogs, I use a combination of products. At home, I am using Dr. Mercola’s Herbal Repellent Collar  along with their Spot on Topical Herbal Repellent. If I am out at a show, I add a daily spray of Dr. Mercola’s Natural Flea and Tick defense,  especially on their feet. I still check them for ticks daily. Please note I do not have cats right now and cats tend to be sensitive to some essential oils. Be sure to do your own research when it comes to your kitty friends!

When I was a groomer, I learned to do a flea bath on my client's dogs and cats. Here is a little-known trick! A flea bath does not need toxic shampoos or dips.  If you use soapy water, the fleas drown. Many people do not know fleas drown in soapy water, but you will need to bathe carefully to be sure they don’t escape. As soon as water hits the skin, fleas retreat into a dog's eyes, ears, nose, and…  *ahem*… anus. This is not fun for your dog, and the fleas will just come out after your dog is dry, but they will not cross over the wet soapy solution!

Begin a flea bath by keeping your dog dry at first. I make my own shampoo by simmering soap nuts in water for 20 minutes, then adding cold water. It is a gentle, low suds, natural soap that has repellent properties, and leaves the coat clean and soft with no residue. 

Add shampoo to your DRY dog in a full circle around the neck, around the ears, and around the base of the tail. This will prevent the fleas from escaping into sensitive areas. Then continue to wet your dog and add shampoo to the rest of the body. If there are fleas present, you will see them being washed away with the soapy water.

Keeping your pet healthy with a strong immune system and feeding a healthy diet will also go a long way to make them less attractive to ticks and fleas.

Back AWAY from us, bugs!

 - Marie (Natural Healing Gal)

Read all of Marie's Columnist Posts

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Dog Training, Qigong

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Please note that this blog post and these remedies are for information purposes only.  Please consult with your own medical providers should you have medical questions and see the Medical Disclaimer here.

Also, make sure that you read and follow any label directions for products listed in these blog posts.  This is the opinion and practice of Marie, but make sure you are safe in how you use the products.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Marie

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Friday, August 11, 2017

Dealing With Loneliness

Written By Don Shetterly

Recently I was reading the blog post that Jody wrote for her column on loneliness.  It is a topic that is near and dear to my heart as well.  I've struggled with loneliness all my life, and she is so right that Loneliness Can Break Your Heart.

I remember being in one of my grade school years and we were shown some movie about a little kid who was a loner.  I don't remember the name of the film.  I barely recall what the movie was about.

However, I remember one scene in particular that stands out in my mind.  The little boy was getting on the school bus and looking for anyone to see him off, talk to him, or act like he existed.  The look on his face was loneliness.  The little kid was a loner.

Somehow out of that movie, I learned that being a loner could kill you.  Again, I can't remember the entire movie, but that stuck in my mind all these years.  I know I've read other things about loneliness.  There was a song that someone sang in church one time when I was a kid that was titled, "Lonely Voices."

Even in a crowd of people, I can feel lonely.  In a group of close friends, I can feel alone.  I struggle with loneliness because it seems that it permeates every part of my life.

It has gotten a little better over the years, but I still long for being alone.  I could be one of those people like Grizzly Adams that lived out in the woods.  Yet, as much as I like being alone, I do like to be around people.  I love to help people.  I care about people.

Maybe it was because I was hurt so badly as a child being sexually abused and tortured.  Maybe it is that I never learned how to be around others because we were controlled and isolated as kids.

I know that there are lonely people out there and I desperately wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better.   It is something we all have to work through if we are faced with loneliness, but I can tell you from first-hand experience, it isn't always easy for me.

Fortunately, there is support through friends that understand.  There are special connections online that can help.  Pets and animals make a world of difference for me.

Even if I feel alone, I know I am not.  There are people who care about me and love me, even if I can't always see it.  It is important to keep that in mind because loneliness is the jail we put ourselves in.  We alone can unlock it because we hold the key.

Make sure you check out Jody's post on Loneliness Can Break Your Heart.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, August 10, 2017

Have Respect For Yourself

Written By Don Shetterly

It is easy to just walk all over ourselves some days.  It is much easier at times not to have respect for yourself.  However, if we don't respect ourselves, no one else will.

When you've been abused as a kid, you learned early on to not have respect for yourself.  People greater than you in those moments took that power away and robbed you of your respect.  It is one of the hardest things I've had to work on in my healing.

For a long time, I let bosses and jobs walk all over me.  If they wanted something done, I could not say no.  I could not say, enough is enough.  I did what was expected of me, not what was best for me.

Many times I have volunteered my skills and talents only to be taken advantage of in those situations.  I'm not sure the organization set out to do that to me, but they did, and I was a willing accomplice.  I didn't respect myself enough to say no, this is as much as I'm going to give.

In friendships, I sometimes give and give, but I rarely allow anyone to give back to me.  I feel like it is selfish at times, but in many respects, if a friendship is going one way only, it is not healthy.  I didn't respect myself enough to think that I deserved anything.

I'm a person that is always there for others, but sometimes I just don't respect myself enough to say, that's the line, and I'm not going to cross it.

Respecting ourselves is important, and even though our boundaries may have been obliterated, it is something we have to learn in our lives.  If not, we'll just heap turmoil and difficulty upon ourselves by not respecting who we are as a person.

No one else out there will have respect for us if we don't have respect for ourselves.  No one is going to give us respect if we cannot do the same.

It is up to us individually to set the tone for what we expect out of life.  Let us be the ones to establish the right tone.  Our example will illuminate others.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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