Monday, September 17, 2018

FREE BOOK On Amazon Kindle

Hey, this goes out to everyone reading this.  For this week only (until Friday, September 21 at 11:59 PM PDT), my book is free.

Yep, no gimmicks and nothing special needed to get it. 

You can download thKindlele version on Amazon for free. 

After September 21, it will go back to regular price.

Title:  Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Available on Amazon.

Click Here

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Hurricanes And Fake Concern


Much like many things in this world, there is so much fake concern these days.  Hurricanes and fake concern are no different.  Think about the statement, "thoughts and prayers," and you'll know where I'm going with this post.

No, I'm not saying that all people do this or all statements of concern should be stopped.  That could not be further from the truth.

The point I'm writing about is when people you have not heard from in like a gazillion years come out of the woodwork.  The concern may be real to them, but many going through the stress of a devastating hurricane about to hit, it rings hollow.

Last year when Hurricane Irma came through, my email inbox was flooded with notes from people I had not heard from in so long that I thought they were no longer kicking.  It shocked me first of all because outside of the storm, they didn't care about what I was doing.

In fact, in one instance, I replied with what had been going on in my life, and they wanted nothing to do with that.  It was nothing but a fake concern.  Their words held no true concern.

In many instances, I had some contacts freaking out that this storm was coming.  I don't know if they had been glued to the TV news or what, but normally there's enough stress without adding to it.  I can generally stay a little calm until it hits.  These individuals were freaking me out to the point where their emails were becoming toxic.

I know I talked to many others and they have shared similar stories.  No, I'm not saying don't share words of concern and support.  However, if you're going to do that, check your anxiety and freak out moments at the door.

Make your emails authentic.  Don't act hysterically.  I will tell you without a doubt that the stress of a storm coming is not easy.  It builds with uncertainty.  It builds with trying to make sure you have everything ready, and you're prepared.  Let's not forget about how exhausting all of this can be.  When you don't know what is going to happen, the stress of that is extremely high.

We've got storms coming up, and for someone, it will get quite stressful.  I'm not a big believer in donating to the major organizations because I don't think that money gets to the people that need it.  The government comes in and promises all kinds of assistance but generally falls short.  I've heard far too many horror stories in those situations.  Maybe there is good that comes out of it, but I've not seen that yet.  I'm always open to good stories if they exist.

If you know someone in the path of these storms, be supportive.  Don't freak out because they need someone that can be calm.  See if they need help or if they know of others needing help so any support can get to the people that need it.

Be mindful that the TV news usually hypes up these storms.  They make the radar graphics look more ominous.   The cameras usually head to the worst hit areas.  So, what you see on the news (over and over and over again) may not be the whole story.

Also keep in mind that if someone is without power, trying to constantly text them could be draining the previous power they have on their phones.  When cell towers are out, the phones take more power to try and reach cell service.  It drains the phone quicker.  It isn't a time to carry on long conversations with someone in a storm area.

Plus, when there is no power, and the heat and humidity are so high, it is all you can do to function.  Exhaustion level goes up because sleep is not easy to get.  Read Hurricane Stress On The Mind Body.

One final thought, if someone you know has been hit, don't think that when the coverage of storm stops on TV that all is great.  There are people in Houston still struggling to make it each day in their lives as they try to piece their lives back together - over a year later!

By the way, if you live in a Hurricane prone area or just want emergency lighting for power outages, here's a light some friends told me about, and it works great.  They hold a charge for a long time and are very bright.  All it takes to recharge them is put them out in the sunlight for a few hours.








Monday, August 27, 2018

Please Don't Hang Yourself


This video that a mom did about her son who died by Suicide is very touching.  The reason she did it is so that she could help others who were hurting and in pain.  Often people who struggle suffer in silence and no one sees the pain they are experiencing.

I like the statement made in the short video, that so often those who lose out to suicide just want the pain to end.  I have felt that way in my life in those same moments.

Please know that others do care and there is help out there.  Watch my friend's video and see the resources she puts up.

I also did a webinar on Suicide a few years ago with a mom who lost her son.  Her statements helped wake me up in my own life and really shed light on what it does to the survivors.

I know that some out there think you should not discuss this side of suicide in this way, but it made all the difference for me.  Knowing what those who loved me would have to deal with brought a new perspective on suicide for me.  There's no way I could hurt them, and that is enough to kick my brain back out of the depths.

Of course, it is sad to note that the following video has not had many views.  It makes me roll my eyes a little.  Sometimes I think we say we want to help raise awareness and help others, but it becomes nothing more than words without action.  I am sorry if that offends anyone, but I don't want to see anyone die from suicide.



Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States  (source)

  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, in 2016:
    • Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of nearly 45,000 people.
    • Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
    • There were more than twice as many suicides (44,965) in the United States as there were homicides (19,362).

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Words Without Action Don't Mean Much


Words without action don't mean much in my opinion.  We seem to get that this is true, but yet in our civilization, humans fail to comprehend this concept.

Of course, if you are reading this, I'm sure you've never done this.  Words without action is probably something someone else does, right?  After all, we would never ever think of doing this.  I'm just being crazy, or am I?

So here are some examples that might help you see if you fall into this trap of words without action.

I see all too often that we preach love and acceptance to everyone.  We despise bullies and those that only see others through a narrow lens.  However, then the same people that are so put off by the rhetoric of hate and narrow-minded thinking can be found doing the same thing.  If you truly listen to yourself and watch what you share online or what you say in the privacy of only those that agree with you, it would be horrifying.

Another example is how people say they want to heal their lives or move on from situations, but what they do is anything but working towards this goal.  It is words without action.  They want to heal if it doesn't involve them going deep into areas of discomfort and stepping outside of their comfort zone.  They want to heal as long as it doesn't involve them going beyond the paradigms and belief system they know.  The desire to heal is there as long as it doesn't upset the family or social structure in their lives.

Last but not least is the example of saying phrases that are words without action.  They are statements that don't mean much.  For instance, you could constantly say to someone, "I love you," except that far too often, it is nothing but words.  There's no follow through with the words such as in action you take. 

You might tell someone that you miss them, but do absolutely nothing to stay in touch.  Either you are too busy for them, or you act as if there is no way to communicate.  You find a million excuses to go along with these words.  

Words without action show your priorities are off or you don't believe what you say.  They belittle those that bear the brunt of them.  They become passive aggressive swords that inflict pain.  

The world really needs people who are authentic.  We don't need more people who speak or write words without action because they just don't mean much.  You can claim all day long that it is everyone else that does this, but unless each one of us looks in the mirror, we won't see the log in our own eye.

Make your life authentic.  Make your life count so that when others hear you speak, your word is impeccable.  Don't be the person that speaks the words without action taken! 



  

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Modern Day Communication Is Failing


I really get irked these days by the modern day communication.  Everyone thinks that to have many followers is somehow a status of significance and importance in life.  I hate to break it to you, but it is not!

The old man on pawn stars said it perfectly on an episode.  As Chumlee was telling him how many Facebook friends he had, he asked him how many of them would show up to help him move on a weekend.  Of course, the answer was, probably not many. 

Not that we can't have friends on Facebook or Twitter and develop some deep, meaningful relationships with them, there is a limit to the role they play in life.  As humans, we need that physical interaction.  We were meant to have that physical connection to enhance life, not only see a figment of pixels online.

These days, we go from one feed to the next, screaming, ranting, raving, and liking or sharing what the masses are saying.  We join the crowd with the latest rant, or we beg our friends to like, retweet, share, or answer silly game questions.  It is as if these things matter far more than anything else in life. 

However, we don't communicate with others in the way that we think we do.  In fact, I would strongly suggest that communication is so poor these days, we've almost forgotten what it is. 

We have all these ways of communicating with one another and yet we're really not communicating.  I hear far too often, I'm so sorry because I've just been too busy to connect with you.  Really?  A text message or an email takes that long to write?  Calling someone on the phone is such a burden?

When I grew up, we had long distance calls.  There were no cell phones, text messages, email, instant messenger or tweets.  You had to find a phone and then place a call which was expensive because almost everything was long distance.  Letters were more common then. 

Don't get me wrong in that I'm saying all social media or modern forms of communication are wrong.  However, don't tell me that you can't keep in touch because you don't have enough time.  It isn't that you don't have enough time as much as what you consider a priority and how you manage your life.

If people truly matter in life to us, we'll make time for them.  Maybe we'll realize that the constant screaming and ranting and raving is just noise in our day.  Not everyone needs to see our shared political rants or religious beliefs.  Not all of us want to be coerced into donating money to your favorite cause.

Instead, I'd love to see people treat each other as humans.  This does not mean posting the latest meme but actually doing it.  We are all too fake in this world, and it is getting to the breaking point.

The Happy Birthday messages on Facebook still blows my mind.  Everyone can click and say Happy Birthday, but what about sending a card.  What about a heartfelt message?  Does anyone still remember what it means to receive an actual card in the mail?  To me, I treasure those.

We really need to reverse course on how we are interacting with one another in modern day communications.  If we're not careful, we will wake up one day and not recognize anyone around us.  We'll become more fearful of people on the street because we don't know who they are.

When this happens, we will have failed in what it means to be human.  Unfrotunately, we're not too far off from this point.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Are You Fake?


These days I'm beginning to wonder more and more about people online.  I'm sorry, but it is true.  Too many who are fake, but throw up the positive thoughts as if they are the sole answer to the universe.

If you post anything real, you get responses of fake positivity that really does little but leaves the recipient feeling empty and hoodwinked.  You might think your words are somehow magical, but if they are not authentic, then they have become the noisy cymbal in the band.

For some reason, people think they have to respond with some wisdom when maybe the person just needs to be heard.  Unfortunately these days, we don't know how to listen.  We only know how to force our views and opinions on others.

You can see this in all walks of life and different places but in reality, the fake part of who we are as humans begin within us.  We're the ones that perpetuate what we so often scream and rant about in life.

Being authentic and honest is what makes a difference.  Listening without judgment and I mean truly listening without judgment is so rare these days.  I see very few people that do this, and I can count them on one hand.

Are you fake?  I'm sure you would quickly answer with NO!  However, I'm guessing without knowing you that this may not be the whole story.

It is something to ponder and consider because I believe each one of us shows a fake side every day and if we don't think we do, then we are fooling ourselves.  In my view, the trick is to recognize it and see how authentic we can be.

Authenticity and vulnerability are the essences of human interaction.


Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Relaxation To Wind Whispering Through Trees

Written By Don Shetterly


Do you want an easy relaxation tip?  If you're like me, nature provides many ways to relax.  I love listening to the sounds of the wind whisper through the trees.  There is something so calming and soothing to me.

When I was a kid, I would go out and lay in the grass, look up at the clouds go by and just listen to the wind whispering through the trees.  It was relaxation at its finest.

Go ahead and try it out for yourself.  Find a park or your backyard or anywhere you have trees and just listen to the wind whisper relaxation.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

What Shows Up In The Body

Written by Don Shetterly
So often when physical issues show up in the body, we forget to take into account where it all begins.  What shows up in the body is a window into what takes place in the mind.  In my life, I learned that when something physical shows up in my body, the first question I ask is "what was going on right before it showed up?"  Often, the answer to this question is the clue to how we can heal it in our body.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Sharing Our Story

Written By Don Shetterly
Sharing our story helps heal us and empower others.  While our knees may shake and our voice may tremble, the act of vulnerability we offer to others does so much for us.  In our moment of being vulnerable, others will feel empowered because they identify with us, knowing that they are not alone.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

When We Let Go

Written by  Don Shetterly
One of the most difficult lessons I have learned in life is this one.  When we let go, that's when we discover what matters.  It seems like we should cling and hold on to what we know, but as I have found, that's when we need to let go.  For in doing so, this is when we discover what we cannot see.  It allows us to make a choice of a new and different awareness.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Hope Tells You To Keep Going

Written by Don Shetterly
Sometimes this is very difficult when you are facing challenging times.  However, hope tells you to keep going when everything else says to give up.  Listen to hope and know that you will make it through these moments.  You just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.


Wednesday, May 9, 2018

No Labels Needed


No labels needed can be applied in many ways to different things in life.  We are far too quick to use labels, and that hurts us and humanity.  We are too quick to apply labels of health issues on ourselves, and it holds us back.

I feel fortunate that a therapist cautioned me about applying labels to my life.  She asked me to rethink how I was trying to label my life.  She reasoned that if I applied a label, then I would end up living up to the label.  She was correct, and it was excellent advice.

How are you applying labels to your life or to others?

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Does Pain Help Our Cells Communicate?



In the mind body connection, pain helps our cells communicate with our brain.

Has your body ever hurt and ached for what seems like no reason at all? Have you gotten up in the morning and exclaimed "my body hurts, I must have slept wrong"? Have you ever considered your job to be a pain in the neck while you are suffering through neck stiffness? While I could go on and on with examples, this hopefully helps you begin to (read more)




Monday, May 7, 2018

Corey Says Cuteness Helps

Picture by Don Shetterly
Cuteness By Corey The Orange Cat

Sometimes cuteness in a day is so badly needed.  At least that is what #CoreyTheOrangeCat teaches me.  I'd be lost without our rescue cats.

Too many times in our life, we forget that stopping to observe and notice all that is around us is a good thing for our mind and body.


Sunday, May 6, 2018

Be Nice To Others

Quote by Earl Nightingale
I love this quote from Earl Nightingale.

Don't take the attitude of waiting for people to be nice to you.  Be nice to them.


Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Stronger Together By Don Shetterly

By Don Shetterly
We are all Stronger Together.  At least, that is what I believe.  These days in our world, we act as if we have to go it alone, but that just makes us weaker.  We really need each other.

In this new song I created called, Stronger Together, I recognize that we all face challenging times.  We all have our struggles and our difficulties.  Reaching out to others, no matter what situation you are facing, is a sign of strength.

This song, Stronger Together, came about after many years of just being a tune on a site called Jam Studio.  I had played around with it, but nothing ever came of it.  I had the chords in my mind, but until I faced some challenging circumstances on my own, it was only a bunch of notes.

When I kept sitting down at my keyboard attempting to give it a voice, it finally came through unexpectedly.  Fortunately, I had thought to record it on my keyboard because it would have otherwise been lost.

When I record music, it either comes to me or it doesn't.  I was happy to learn that George Winston experiences the same thing.  Once the music comes out though, unlike him, I can't replay it.  It is like a conversation that once it is spoken, there is no repeating it exactly like it was stated.  My music creation is one that cannot be re-created.  I wish it could, but I have not found the magic in doing this.

If you want to know more about the background story, check out what I wrote on my website at DonShetterly.com.

This song is special to me and I hope you will support me by purchasing it on your favorite online music store.  I don't often ask for much on this blog, but when you purchase my music or books, you help support me so I can keep doing what I do best.

 

Buy The CD, Stronger Together











Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Are You Afraid Of Electric Lighting?

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm seeing so many conspiracy theories these days that it almost makes my head explode.  This person is afraid of this device.  Another person is scared of another device.  Other people are fearful of gadgets and things too numerous to mention.

Everyone has their own set of facts, beliefs, and opinions to back their conclusions up and prove they have the truth.  I've seen it so many times.  Quite frankly, I'm getting so tired of seeing it everywhere I turn.

These days in our society, it doesn't have to be proven, it just needs an "element" of truth in what is being stated.  In our news, we sprinkle in a few facts along with the opinions of guests on these shows and act as if we invented the best news source in the world.

Let's start with modern day devices.  Lately, I have been seeing how microwaves spy on you and how Alexa is spying on you.  Does anyone know if these things are right?  Most likely not, but it doesn't stop them from forcing the world to hear their beliefs that this is true.

Alexa has been in the news supposedly spying on everyone.  Maybe it is true, and perhaps it is not.  I have no way to know.  If she wants to listen in on our conversations, she is going to get very bored.  They can't hardly keep up with programming her with answers, so I doubt they have time and capital to fund the massive workforce that would be required to monitor everything.

I have seen so many people treat the Alexa device as if it is some evil person coming after them.  I shake my head because these people act like any technological advancement is a bad thing.  Be wary they say.  Run, they say.  Hide, they exclaim.

For me, I'm one that believes in invention and progress.  Actually, I think we are running far behind where we should be.  There should be more advancement and growth, not less.  Will there be mistakes and hiccups along the way?  You betcha!

It all reminds me of the story I heard about Thomas Edison when he was inventing the electric light bulb.  In his wintertime hometown, he wanted to build an electric light grid so the town would be lit up.  He offered to pay for it out of his own pocket, but the townspeople said NO!  They were afraid of the electric lights.  The lights were new.  They feared them as if they were the worst things invented.

Today, we can't imagine a city or a home or a street without lights.  We don't run from electric lights in fear.  We don't pass around conspiracy theories about electric lights.  These are welcomed advances now in our lives.

We may want to think how we view progress and innovation.  If we don't keep advancing, others will.  If we stay stagnant in what we know, we've doomed the human race.  Part of being human is growth.  Part of the mind body connection is about awareness and growth.

Let's not be afraid of electric lighting, but instead embrace that which makes us fearful.  Don't follow blindly, but don't be scared to step out the door because someone has convinced you that it might be too frightening (metaphorically speaking).

Let's embrace our mind and our body.  Let's be more than we are today.  We will not get there by hiding our heads in the sand.  We won't discover and become more aware and conscious if we're against stepping out into the unknown.

Even in the light of all that has happened with data collection, we need to be cautious, but not over the top.  Each one of us should be careful of the things that we share online because any time you type the words on the screen, you no longer have control over them.





Thursday, April 19, 2018

Conditions On Being Tolerant and Loving

Written By Don Shetterly
These days, I get so tired of seeing this on display.  In social media, we wear it as a badge.  I'm talking about how we say and preach one thing to the world while doing the opposite with our actions.

We say we are tolerant and loving, but then we put conditions on it.  Of course, we don't acknowledge that, and if someone pointed it out, we'd dismiss them quickly.

We think it is everyone else.  Those who disagree that are not tolerant and loving.  We've got such a big log in our own eye that we cannot even begin to see this in our personal life.  It is everyone else that has the problem, not us.  We're self-righteous and holier than thou.

We exclaim, we're telling it like it is or we claim that somehow we take the superior high ground because we're enlightened.  It doesn't matter which side of this you are on because we all do it every day.  If you don't believe me, show your social media feed to a young child, and I bet they can point out the hypocrisy quickly.

We go to our churches, and we claim how full of love and righteousness we are, but we don't stop to know ourselves.  We don't stop to look at ourselves and see what is within us.  If you don't go to church, there's a good chance you use some other belief system to do the same thing.

Then we point fingers at one another.  We have to tell others just how wrong they are.  After all, we are tolerant and loving.  We just gloss over the conditions because we are so self-righteous.

Growing up, we were in one of these ultra-religious churches that stated bluntly if you did not believe the way they believed, you weren't going to heaven.  There were a lot of other "beliefs" that they taught that I've written about before on another blog post.  It took me many years to let go of that brainwashing hatred for others that were different than us.

Most of the people outside of that church were much more tolerant.  I didn't hear politics discussed or hatred towards gays.  They were down to earth peace loving people that were fun to be around.  I admired and respected them.

Now, however, when I go view some of the stuff on their social media pages (next to the things about how much they are tolerant and loving), I see some of the vilest hatred that exists.  How can people not see what they are doing?  If you say one thing, but do another, your words mean nothing.  Your actions tell the real story.

These days we are so consumed with things that have knocked this entire planet so far off its course, we cannot even see it on display.  We're so numb and disconnected and unconscious that basic decency and respect for one another is something from prehistoric times.

No, it's not the other people that do this in the world that is the problem.  You can't control them.  The only person you can control is yourself and whether you engage and propagate the hatred and divisiveness or you walk away from it.  That's a choice you make each day.

So when you claim you are tolerant and loving, make sure you're choosing something that matches that.  If your rhetoric and social media feed say the opposite, it might be time to have a hard look at what is within your heart.  For what lies in your heart is showing the entire world what that is.

Tolerant and loving people show it through all aspects of their lives.  It isn't just the words you say, or share and likes.  It isn't the retweets and screaming.  It is pure love that treats each other as human, not as something less than ourselves.  It is your heart in action and your ego filtered with respect.


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Broken Regulators In Life

Written By Don Shetterly
Right now, we're not functioning with our mind and our body.  We are half engaged, but we act as if we are fully engaged.  Our human regulator is broken and causing us great suffering in this world.

When we are not aware or conscious, we don't fully engage in life.  We pull back and only put in part of what we need to put into life.  We numb from fear, and we engage from the ego, not from the heart.

Our emotions may be over the top or nonexistent.  Our passion for causing change may have no regulator on it.  Our words become a way to prove that we know more than others. Our ability to slow down and stop or rest has become one of that is a meme, rather than something we do.

We can only exhaust our body systems before they start breaking down.  If we don't deal with the stress that is piling up on us every day, it will be our stalker that attacks us in the night.  There is no way you can exist in life right now without stress having an impact.  Yes, you can numb yourself by wishing it away, but it is still there.  It lurks in the shadows.

When we stay fully engaged all day long through our electronic devices connecting us to every morsel of "breaking news" that others deem is important, we are hurting our mind and body.  Most of this stuff is noise in a day, but we consume it as if it is the last drop of food we will ever see.  It is not healthy in the least bit, but for some reason, we cling to every new feed, tweet, and a bit of gossip as if it is greater than our life.

When we live in fear and we numb, we are disconnecting ourselves from everyone around us.  We put up the wall between them and us, so we continue to operate.  There is far too much that we use to separate ourselves, rather than help to further the world.  The fear and numb is insidious because even though we act like it does not exist in our life, it operates freely behind the closed doors of our life.

We go online and leave comments that prove to the world we know more than they do.  Memes and happy thoughts become what we share with everyone.  Instead of fully engaging on a human and personal way, we fire back those tweets that will put someone in their place.  Instead of expanding our views, we huddle with those that we agree with not seeing others that hold a differing opinion as someone real in life.

Our broken regulators in life keep us from bouncing from one thing to another.  We don't even fully see it because we are not aware and conscious enough to do this.  We've lost the grounding in our body, yet we have convinced it is still there.  We've lost the ability to disengage from the ranting and screaming because we're convinced we have to fight.

In the meantime, love and compassion and respect has disappeared.  We claim we hold these truths in our life, but our actions fail as a witness in court for us.  We struggle physically with health conditions because we are not dealing with life.  Life has dealt with us in a way that we're no longer in control of our body.  Our mind convinces we are, but the body has long ago shut down.

If we want to and if we have the courage and determination, we can wake up in our body.  It is not easy and very few even do this.  The more you have shut down to in life and what you are inside, the more distance you have to travel back to awareness and consciousness.  It can be done, but it is not easy.  Too many stop before they get very far along this journey.

No one can tell you what you already know in your life, even though it is hidden from view.  It takes each one of us going deep within and seeing what is there that we don't want to see.  If we don't fix the broken regulators in life, we're going to end up in a very awful mess - the likes of which we do not see at this moment.

We can wake up if we so choose, but it is a choice.  It is not a bunch of words that you say.  The evidence shows through your life.  No one will be able to claim if you awake or not as that is something that others around you will know without a doubt.

In this world, we have been marching to the edge of the cliff for a long time.  We're not meant to do that.  Instead, we are destined to wake up and grow in awareness and consciousness.  Life is about becoming more of who we are, not succumbing to what the masses convince us is correct.

Each day of our life, we make a choice as to how we will fit in the world.  Our tweets, social media postings, interactions with others and how much we get to know the depths of our innermost self will reflect our awareness and consciousness.





Thursday, April 5, 2018

What Is Your Idea Of Rest

Written by Don Shetterly
I saw this question posted online by a friend and so I thought I would write about it.  What is your idea of rest?  Doesn't it sound simple and straightforward?

Unfortunately, I don't think it is because from what I see in this world, very few people take time out to stop and rest.   No, I don't have hard evidence of that, other than what I've observed and seen in people and in the bodywork clients I have worked on.

We spend too much time with our phones and staying connected continuously.  We run from this activity to that activity without really looking hard at where our time should go.  In many ways, we are so busy being busy that we are too busy to notice that we are.

The mind and the body need downtime.  Yes, we need sleep, but rest is beyond the sleep moments.

Can you run your car a 1000 miles without stopping?  Can you work 24 hours a day without stopping?  The answer you would most likely give to this is no, you can't.  However, we still tend to apply these same principals to our life.

The mind needs time to process and defrag itself, but if we are continually going, there's no way to do this.  If we don't stop and spend time observing life (such as nature or our breathing or stillness), life will pass us by.  Life will slip away before we realize it and all the essential stuff we will have missed.

The mind needs periods of downtime.  We're so stimulated with data and input coming at us a million times a second that rest seems foreign.  We don't even realize because we are so unconscious and unaware these days of our limits.  Many times, we are keeping our minds in a constant state of busyness is not health.

Our body's need rest.  It needs to build up and recuperate, but we see how far we can push it.  We don't give it a second thought.  We keep piling stress on top of stress in our muscles, tissues, and cells.  The more we do this, the more we add layers to something that could have been so simple to release and let go.  As it builds, so do chronic pain and health issues as a result.  Then we wonder in amazement why we are in the shape we are.

The more you give your mind and your body some downtime in life, the healthier you will be.  You will see things in a more balanced way and not be so numb or fear driven in life.  It will help bring balance to all parts of your life because you will be taking care of yourself instead of neglecting yourself.

Of course, you can continue to do what you do thinking that very beliefs will take care of you.  Unfortunately, if you don't deal with life, stress and stopping to rest, it will deal with you.  You can count on that.  Just look at the research that shows how much of doctor visits are related to stress.  We don't take care of ourselves, and the result is not good.

You don't have to meditate on the edge of a cliff for 5 hours every day.  You can take little steps like stopping to notice your breath.  You can choose 10 or 15 minutes at lunchtime and sit there in nature or in a quiet place and just be still.  Observe.  Put the phone away.

Sometimes quiet and stillness is an excellent form of rest.  Without it, we turn our lives into one noisy and busy nightmare that we will never wake up from in our life.  Don't wait until it is too late like I did.  Take charge of your life by taking care of your life.



Tuesday, March 27, 2018

You Don't Have To Engage

Written By Don Shetterly
For some reason, I do not understand, we as humans think we need to engage in every fight that comes along.  Just a little tip here which I'm sure you've heard before, You don't have to engage.

Now, I know, everyone will claim they don't engage.  Many will state they rise above everything.  Many will deplore what is going on.  However, what is said to the masses and what is done while no one is looking do not match up.

I'm sorry.  I hate to be the bearer of honest news to everyone, but I see this day in and day out.  It isn't hard to figure out with a couple of clicks on the internet.  What we say to the world and what we do are not the same actions.

The more significant point is you don't have to engage with the turmoil and screaming of the day.  The world will go on whether you do or not.  If we're not careful, we're just adding more fuel to the fire.

Yep, somehow we think that dumping our own fuel on the fire is helpful, but basic science teaching says that dumping fuel, only increases the fire.  I know you'll tell me you don't do this.  It is all those other people that do.  This is where I cringe and just let you continue to think that you don't do this.

I get it.  We are humans.  When we feel scared or threatened or attacked, we want to bring it on and let everyone know just what we think.  It does make sense.  However, don't you need to ask yourself if you're really helping the situation by responding the way you do?

As Oprah said the other day to Jimmy Kimmel, "You don't win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on."  There is much truth to this statement.

Everyone thinks they are right and so they engage.  They don't listen to what someone has to say.  It doesn't matter if you are on one side of the issue or another in this country.  No one listens to another because they have their minds made up.

When we continuously engage in this screaming and negativity, we're not helping anything.  Most of all, we're keeping our mind, body, and nervous system revved up, and that's not healthy.  It creates more stress.  Stress creates illness and health issues.  The end result is we end up hurting ourselves.


I'm not saying to crawl under a rock and hide, but you don't have to engage.  You can listen to someone say something that you don't agree with because maybe they have a point in there that you need to hear.  You can do what others don't do to you thereby modeling behavior that is more healthy and respectful.

Most of all, don't get in the middle of the mud pit and expect to come out looking any different than the other people.  Rise above it with love, understanding, and compassion.  Use your life to help teach and show others a different route through it.

Remember - you don't have to engage!




Thursday, March 22, 2018

Flowery Words Without Substance

Written by Don Shetterly
So many times I see online statements from people that are pretty, but that's where it ends.  It isn't online only either as the media and leaders and speakers of our day do the same thing.  Flowery words without substance are in abundance.

Is it wrong to use beautiful words, memes, and positive thoughts?  No, of course not.  We need them to add some spice to our lives.  However, without substance, they are not all that helpful.

Consider this tweet I wrote as I think it sums up what I am trying to say.


I find the thing that helps the most in a day is when we are real and authentic.  When we offer our hand of support to another, we're really adding to a day.  When we are vulnerable and share our life's experiences of what has helped us, we do far more than flowery words ever will do.

We fill up social media with happy thoughts while we often ignore and obliterate the pain that someone is feeling.  Our words become like unhinged swords that take out everything in their path.

Be down to earth.  Show others you really care by your words that come from deep within your consciousness and heart.  These days, the words tend to come out, but the actions and other moments mock what is being said.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2016/10/what-we-show-to-world.html


We can do so much for others if we find grounding in our life, not what we are putting on display every day for the world to see.  Be part of the consciously connected help in a day, not just the mind-numbed repeats of what is done.

The world needs authentic people.  The world needs us to be down to earth.




Tuesday, March 13, 2018

That One Person That Gets Me

Written By Don Shetterly


I love being with that one person that just gets me.  

They are the ones that see past the faults I see in myself.

They are the ones that see potential in me when I see nothing.

When I'm with this person, it makes my life soar to greater heights.

It makes me want to be more than I am and all that I can be.

I love being with that one person that just gets me.




Thursday, March 8, 2018

Why Didn't I Publicly Expose The Child Molesters

Written By Don Shetterly
Many years ago, I knew an attorney that wanted to take the people who abused me to court.  He thought they should be held accountable and he worked hard to convince me to file a lawsuit.  The statute of limitations was not something I was aware of at the time, but it wouldn't have mattered.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters?

First off, I didn't want to relieve everything I had been through.  I was working hard at coming to terms with it and all of its impacts on my life.  I was tired of dealing with it, thinking about it and talking to others about it.  It was controlling so much of my life through depression and anxiety and intense fear, that I wanted nothing to do with it.

Secondly, I knew that if I tried to come forward, I would be ridiculed and threatened.  I knew that they would turn my words on me as if I was lying.  I knew that they would turn everyone I knew against me and then some.  These were wicked and evil people that stopped at nothing to silence me.  Heck, they already had done most of this so it wouldn't have been new to me.  I just wanted it over.

Third, I was still coming to terms with what happened to me.  It wasn't like I could say everything out loud.  I was not at that point.  Much of it, I had not even realized was not normal that they did to me.  You can read my book if you want to know more on that subject.  When you grow up with this stuff, you don't know any different.  Filing a lawsuit to publicly expose the child molesters was difficult to fathom.  What was right and wrong?  What was normal or abnormal.  None of those things were clear to me.

Fourth, I had pieces of stories and memories but not the full account.  My brain was still trying to protect me.  After all, I almost lost my life in the conversion disorder, and so my brain was in super protection mode.  There were many holes in what I could remember.  As Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk says, our minds remember too much and too little.

The fifth reason why I didn't publicly expose the child molesters is that I wanted nothing to do with them.  I was trying to stay hidden from them for the threats that had been made against my life.  I had no desire to talk to them, see them or have any connection with them.  I wanted absolute disconnect with the child molesters.  It was not easy living this way, but for me to survive, I had to completely let them go.

It isn't easy!


It is easy for others that have not been through the circumstances you have been through to say this is what you should do or what you should not do.  It is easy for others to criticize and be the judge, jury, and executioner, but until you've walked through my experiences in life, you don't know what I've had to live with every day.

To come forward and share what happened to you means you have to deal with the shame of what you went through.  Even if you did nothing wrong, the child molester inflicts shame upon you.  It is a shame that eats you alive and sinks you into despair.  Coming forward to publicly expose the child molesters means you have to deal with all of this horror once again.  It is not easy.  It is not welcomed.

When I see the victims of child abuse or other abusive situations come forward and hear people rip them to shreds, I want to take a baseball bat to the loudmouths of our day.  It makes me angry.  Yes, I realize that some fake people that do this and they are no better than the child molesters.

It takes great courage to speak out.  It takes great courage to confront these monsters in your life because they consume you.  They push you into depression, anxiety, and suicide.  They rob your life completely.  There is nothing left for you when you decide to speak out publicly.

Another thing that happened to me and happens with many is the fear that is instilled in you.  I was told many things that would happen to me if I dared tell.  I saw my pets killed and shot at and beat.  I witnessed many things within the family that would make you know there was no idle threat.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Well, look at what happens today when people start to speak up.  They are not believed.  They are ridiculed and berated and mutilated in public opinion.  It isn't easy to deal with that in private.  I can't imagine what it is like to deal with it in public especially when it wasn't by your choice to do this.

We should be standing in support of those who have been molested and abused, not as enemies of them.  We should be standing up for the rights of all children, not just the ones that fit our narrow-minded thinking.  Turning a blind eye to the issue of child abuse in a family or in your church or city or anything else should not be tolerated.  It should not be the norm.

If we don't take care of our children, who will?  If we spit on those that publicly expose child molesters and abusive people, what kind of society and human race are we?  We gasp at the headline child abuse stories, but we turn our heads to what happens in our own backyards.

We make sacrifices out of the victims while we protect the child molesters at all costs.  We are so messed up on this issue in our society on this issue.  There are far too many cases for us to point the fingers at others because so much of this goes on in our backyards and family dwellings.

Why didn't I publicly expose the child molesters you ask?  Isn't it obvious?  Just look at what happens in the news headlines and then ask that question again. Those that abused me as a child will never pay for their crimes.  They have prayed to Jesus for forgiveness and most likely are still doing what they always did.

One of the ones that abused me is at least in a VA hospital and most likely not a threat to children.  The other one, God only knows!  Hopefully, he is not still abusing kids in the church he goes to, but I have no way to find out.

Am I bitter and angry for what they did to me?  Yes!  The laws of Iowa don't protect me because of the statute of limitations.  So, I'm left to pick up the pieces of my life while the child molesters roam free accusing me of being brainwashed and spreading lies.

How just is that?  Unfortunately, it is the norm!









Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/18 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, March 5, 2018

Taking Care Of Ourselves On Twitter

Written By Don Shetterly
One of the things that I think we forget to do is take care of ourselves on Twitter.  It is far too easy to get sucked into the social media unconscious world before we know it.

There is so much that I enjoy about Twitter including many of my followers.  I love great discussions by others on my follower list.  I love it when others share how they are coming through their own struggles.  The ones that strive to make a difference in the world get my utmost respect.

How can you take care of yourself on Twitter?


Follow The Right People

Yes, I know it isn't easy sometimes to know who the right people are too follow.  There's a lot of games played on Twitter and even trying to check out a profile and the tweets of someone, sometimes you just get fooled.  Be careful and when you see people crossing the line, kick them off.  When they really cross the line, that's when I report them.  Sorry, but when someone is bullying or abusing others and being disrespectful, they need a time-out!


Mute Words

You may not know it on Twitter, but one of the best features is the "muted words" function.  If you go up to you your profile picture, click on the "settings and privacy" menu item, you should see one in there that says "muted words."  All you have to do is start adding in the words you don't want to see.  It doesn't mean you stop following people.  You no longer have to look at those conversations which you don't want to see in your Twitter Feed.  It is a way of taking care of ourselves on Twitter especially when things trigger us.

As new words come up, I just add them to my list, and that is the last of that issue I have to worry about on Twitter.  I'm not trying to hide my head in the sand.  I just don't wish to see tweet after tweet all day long of stuff that gets far too overwhelming.



It's Not Our Circus

One of the best things we can do in taking care of ourselves on Twitter is to realize that not every issue is one we need to engage.  If we remind ourselves that it's not our circus, we can give ourselves permission to walk away from the tweet.  After all, sometimes you're better to walk away than engage and bring yourself down into the mud pit with everyone else.  I've written about rolling around in the mud pit with everyone else.  When you do that, no one can tell you apart from the ones you're fighting.  A mud pit makes both people look the same.



Put A Stop Watch On Your Twitter Time

One of the things with social media is that it can suck you into this world.  Before you realize it, the hours have passed by quickly.  There is something about this behavior that is almost unconscious, and it can consume your time.  Put a stopwatch on your Twitter time.  It helps us take care of ourselves on Twitter.  The world will exist if we are on Twitter or not.  The world will continue regardless of what we tweet or not.  We've traded in taking care of ourselves in life with spending far too much time on Twitter and social media.



Don't Be Part Of The Problem

I see a lot of tweets that come through where they make me scratch my head in disbelief.  Even people who claim to have love or are enlightened or have the answers.  Sometimes those people can be some of the worst offenders.  We often tend to respond on Twitter without thoroughly thinking.  Sometimes the words we say can inflict great harm on others unintentionally.  Of course, you can't always know that, and you can't always prevent this.  Everyone has their own triggers.  Just make sure you think before you type.  Respond with compassion and respect and love.  Before you respond, think about how you would react if someone said the same words to you.  Make sure you're not a part of the problem you despise because very often, we are.



Here's to taking care of ourselves on Twitter!

Taking care of ourselves on Twitter is essential.  I'm sure there are things I'm missing here and please leave a comment below on what ways work for you.  Let's help everyone by sharing what we do.  After all, we're in this social media world together.  



Follow me on Twitter, @MindBodyThought









Blog Post And Images (c) 3/04/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Mental Health Awareness is More Than A Tweet

Written By Don Shetterly
There are some things I'm so annoyed by online that I can't hardly bring myself to think calmly about them.  I keep seeing everyone tweet, like, and share online that we need to promote mental health awareness.

While that is great, this is where it seems to stop.  We don't go any further than a tweet.  We don't really jump into it.  We just tweet, retweet, share and like and feel like we are doing something.

Two times, I've put out real hard information and helpful events that were "free" but in both cases, people ignore it and move on to the next mind-numbing tweet of the day.   There is no sign up for the event.  There is no sharing of the event to help others.

All we do is sit back and like or retweet that we need to bring mental health awareness to the world.  Great - I'm for awareness, but if that is where it stops, then what are we doing?  Are we just puffing up our tweet ego for the day?

If I'm upsetting you, I'm not going to apologize because I see this over and over every day.  Helping others with mental health issues and suicide is much more than saying that's what you do.  People need real help, not words on a screen.

Yes, I know the subjects are difficult to deal with and everyone wants to hide their heads in the sand.  Yes, I know that there are many ways to help and some people do all they can.  However, the number of tweets about mental health awareness far outnumber the actual things people do to really help.

We need to get off of our proverbial social media butts and do something good, rather than just claiming mental health awareness.  When events come along, support them.  Don't just ignore them.  When people need help, be there for them, just don't give them platitudes.

Lastly, if all we do is scream at others for not understanding the pain we are in, then we're not helping them to learn.  We end up turning them away.  Share your story with them.  Share not only your pain and struggle but what is helping you and what you are learning.  Offer a hand of support to others, not a bat to beat them over the heads.

(click to read)
I cringe every time I see the mental health awareness tweets go through because there are far too many that stop at the water's edge.  People struggling with mental health and suicide need others physically to be there for them.  Words on a page do very little.  Thoughts and prayers are empty if no action follows.

Ok, that's my soapbox.  If I have offended you, I'm not going to offer an apology right now.  I want people to be offended so they get up off their proverbial social media butts and do something.  If making someone upset that they aren't doing enough gets someone doing more than this blog post accomplished its purpose.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2/27/18 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, February 22, 2018

When Everyone Else Is Wrong

Written by Don Shetterly
These days we see this everywhere we turn, but especially in online social media.  When everyone else is wrong has become the norm for the day.

We look at others online or where we live as being wrong while we are right.  Sometimes, maybe far too many times, we see our significant others as the one being wrong, while we are right.

Yet, we don't stop to take a look at things from a comprehensive view.  We just think we are the ones that have the answers and have everything together.  We don't seriously entertain the thought that we might be the problem, not the answer.

Sure, we give lip service that we do take everything into account, and we see all sides of an issue, but the honest truth is, we don't.  I'm sorry if that bursts one too many bubbles, but as humans, we are so good at being disconnected, that we don't see life around us for what it is.

As humans, we've become so good at numbing, avoiding and distraction, that we barely see the issue before us in a complete way as it appears to our eyes.  We've altered truth for our reality.

Whether it is in politics or relationships, or in a boss and employee moment, we often see our side of things.  It could be in the simplest of ways that seem so insignificant, but all too often we think we are right and everyone is wrong.

It is human nature to protect ourselves.  That is the ego, devoid of awareness and consciousness.  It is part of us to walk around seeing only through our filters.

If you find yourself thinking everyone else is wrong, there's something flawed in your thinking.  If you find yourself saying, "but in this situation, they are wrong," you're missing out on something you are not seeing.  Not everyone else is wrong all of the time.  You're not right all of the time.


Instead, if we focus on where we agree and look to learn and understand from those we disagree, we will become wise.  If we allow ourselves to be opened up to that which we despise in the hope of more understanding, we will become wiser.

There is far too much right versus wrong thinking these days.  You see it on social media every day and you see it in relationships and other situations.  It has consumed all parts of our life.

We must learn how to step back from the ego and embrace awareness of our mind body so that consciousness shows us the way.  We must learn to listen and connect with our heart, rather than our head which filters everything we see and hear in our life.







Blog Post And Images (c) 2/22/18 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

What Is Love - Do We Really Know?

Written By Don Shetterly
Every day I see people making statements about love and how we should love one another.  This is the time of year where love is in the air.  Unfortunately, the more I hear about love, the more I wonder if anyone realizes what it means.

Love isn't something that goes around boasting about how much it exists or how it exists.  It doesn't grandstand or exclaim, "hey, look at me!"  For it does not have to do this since love can be seen, felt, and acknowledged for its existence.
Readily Seen
Love isn't something we have to convince others that we have.  If we have love within our hearts, it will be readily seen through our thoughts, actions, and words. It will just be evident without us banging our chests as if we are the most pronounced dealers in the world of love.

Love isn't about what others think of us or how much our ego enjoys to be noticed.  It requires that we be there for others in a pure, unselfish and unadulterated manner.  The behavior we see on display these days tends to be anything but this.

Transcends Everything

Love isn't about keeping score of what you've done for other people or how you've been successful.  It is not about the latest stories and trends and rants or raves of the day.  There is no need for it to connect with trending topics because love transcends everything.

Love is more than puffing up one's spiritual beliefs as it blinds them to the deeper truth in their own lives and worlds.   For love is something that operates at a higher moment than any man-made set of truths derived from beliefs, customs, and ideas passed from one generation to the next.

Sits Quietly

Love is not a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  Often, pure and true unadulterated love sits quietly in the background spreading to every corner of the room.  It needs to not draw attention because everyone in the room will know if it is there or not.

Love comes from deep within the heart of our mind and body, not the ego that we see at every turn today in our world.  It is felt within the body, not dictated by the mind.  When you're thinking about what you should do or how you should react, love is not necessarily the one in control.

Support

Love comes from surrendering to feelings and emotions of all types, not just the select few we wish to engage.  It is about bringing balance to the extremes, but recognizing that the extremes in life exist.

Love is full of compassion and help, assistance and support.  It knows and sees a bigger picture because it is connected at the core of all that it exists.  Since it is connected, there is a knowing and understanding that rises above the common discourse of the day.

In The Knowing

If you ask, what is love?  Go deep into your heart to search for the answers.  They will not be in what others proclaim or how other people say love will show up.  Love will be in the knowing and understanding that there is more which transcends this current moment.

We will see love through the thoughts, words, and actions of those that it inhabits.  It will just be there automatically without effort.

Connection

It will connect with others in a way that they know it exists.  Nothing will need to be said to see it, for it is a felt emotion that is strong and powerful and never-ending.

Love is more than enough.

Love is in great enough supply.

We need to tap into it and discard the darkness in our hearts so that we not only feel it, but we share it with everyone.

The world needs love.

The world needs love in a big way.

May we all find and embrace the love that flows to every person in this world.

Let us all be open to pure love without trying to mold it into what we think it should be.




Also, read the blog post, I Send Out Love.






Blog Post And Images (c) 2/13/18 by Don Shetterly
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Copyright




Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/07 by Don Shetterly
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