Thursday, December 14, 2017

Angry Rants

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm overwhelmed these days by most things online.  It feels like there is enough stress in a day and then seeing angry rants just pushes it over the edge.  I'm not sure why we as a world are at the place we are, but I'm worried for the future of our civilization.

No one seems to want to listen to another.  We only seem to want to scream and push our point of view on everyone.  I think many feel like no one hears them and if that's the case, the result is to scream louder to compensate.

Everyone seems to have their point of view and belief system.  While that is fine, when you force it upon everyone else, what do you profit?  How do you make their life better?  How do you make the world better?  After all, they are "our" beliefs.  Often times, "our" beliefs are not backed up by as much truth as we think they are.

I see the I'm right, you're wrong in the angry rants.  It doesn't matter the issue.  The ego is crafty and smart and powerful.  It says, my way or the highway and to heck with your views, thoughts, or ideas.  The only thing is, if we are all right, and everyone else is all wrong, then we've got a mess on our hands.  Surely life is more than you're wrong, and I'm right.

Angry rants go on about this individual or group of people.  It often centers around politics and the latest headline of the day.  I'm bewildered when I see the constant stream of it online, weeping in sadness for how we treat one another.

Surely our lives are more than angry rants of who is right and who is wrong.  Are we not more than all of the mind-numbed issue ranting of the day?  If you really look at it, it is not a conscious behavior.

I'm not saying that we should ignore injustice, abuse, and bullying.  In fact, I think we have to speak up, but there are different ways of doing that.  Many that are being used today are not effective and become nothing more than a noisy gong.  We are drowning each other out.

I get the frustration with what is happening throughout the world.  It feels frightening at times and stressful most other moments.  It feels like there is nothing stable or permanent.

In my mind, I see the pendulum of the planet swinging so far back and I wonder how much further it can go.  What will happen when it reaches its furthest most point?  My mind wonders about what will happen when it swings back and hits all the other balls hanging there without motion.

Some days I feel like the only one seeing this, but lately I've noticed I'm not alone.  There are others that see this and try not to add to the anger in this world.  I am inspired and hopeful by these connections.  The peaceful and loving ones are beginning to emerge.

Each and every human needs to stop and take stock of their lives.  We need to be mindful and aware of what we are putting out into the world.  There is more than one way to communicate and right now as a civilization, we're really messed up.

May we figure this out before the pendulum swings too far back.  I hope that everyone who reads this will stop and think about it for one moment.  We cannot expect everyone else to do what we want when we're doing the very same behavior.  We cannot expect others to listen if we do not hear.  If we are screaming, we can not expect them to be silent.

We may think we are right and quite possibly that is true.  However, being right comes with a responsibility to see others through the eyes of love and understanding.  In fact, love and understanding see beyond who is right or wrong.  Angry rants do very little to help.

How do angry rants impact your life?  Do you see anything that you can do differently to be part of the healing in this world?

Blog Post And Images (c) 12/14/17 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, December 7, 2017

Dismissed By A Child Molester

Written By Don Shetterly
Years ago when I was going through some of the roughest healings, I decided to call my dad late one night.  I planned on confronting him about what he did to me.  It took a great deal of courage for me to get to this point.  Having friends close by helped so much.

It isn't easy for me to talk about this to this very day.  I get scared that if I speak out, bad things are going to happen to me.  After all, I was threatened that if I didn't shut up, that they would come after me.  My older brother left that clear message for me at my job.  So this is not a made up fear.  It is real.

At the time anger fueled my reasoning for calling my father.  I was dealing with very rough moments in life as a result of what I had experienced.  It took the anger to confront him because I was so frightened then.

Actually, I'm frightened now with speaking out publicly more, but I know I must.  There are far too many that endure molestation and child abuse.  I am honestly at a point where if they want to come after me, I'll expose every last bit of what they did to me in a public way that will make them regret their threats and actions against me.  I'm tired of hiding it because of what they might do to me.

When I called him up that night, my mom picked up the phone.  Yes, it was late in the middle of the night, but I wanted him on the phone, not her.  So I hung up and called back.  I have my issues with what my mom knew or didn't know, but I wanted him to be the one hearing what I said.

When I got him on the phone, I laid into him.  I didn't let up, and I didn't let him talk.  There was no way I was holding back, and so my anger and pain came out in full force.  I only got about a minute, or so I think of saying what I wanted to say before he hung up on me.

Just before he hung up on me, he said, "GROW UP Donald!"  That was the name he used when he was angry at me.  My final words to him were "GO TO HELL!"

I have never spoken to him since, and I have no intention of doing so.  He made his bed, and now he gets to lie in it.  I have no desire to communicate with him because there is no apology from him.  He doesn't think he did anything wrong.  Molestation was normal to him it seems.  I know it is up to me to continue moving forward and letting go of what he did.

In the news are stories of someone being molested by a prominent figure and they are getting the same treatment.  They are being dismissed by a child molester (or should I say, alleged child molester).  It triggers me back to the memories of what I went through.

Will my Dad and brother ever admit to molesting me?  I doubt it.  They've already convinced family friends that I was brainwashed by Psychiatrists and that I'm crazy.  I was the one that was wrong in their eyes for daring to speak up and expose the secrets.

You see, child molesters stop at nothing to convince the world that they are great humans.  They have no problem with blaming the victim.  They don't care that the child was helpless when they abused and molested them.  It is all about convincing the world that they didn't do anything wrong.

In my case, I'm sure if anyone confronted them, they would also say that "God has forgiven them."  Unfortunately, to me, that does not mean that you act as if nothing ever happened.  That is being a coward in my view.  Either you own up to what you did or don't tell me you've been forgiven.

Just a note here that in my house, forgiveness talk is not as it seems.  It means, forget it and act as if we didn't do anything to you. I heard this line about forgiveness so many times.  It usually was right after they did what they did to me.  I even heard it after my dad would beat my mom.  Thus, forgiveness talk to me is cheap and shallow.

Being dismissed by a child molester is what these people do.  They cannot allow themselves to be exposed to their secrets and lies and abuse.  They blame the victim.

To people that defend what child molesters do, you are not human in my eyes.  You are part of the problem that allows child abuse to continue.  Either you stand up for the rights of all humans, or you need to go find the door to your cave and crawl back inside.

Dismissed by a child molester just seems normal to me.  I almost expect nothing but the blame they put on their victims.  When I see news reports about others, and I hear the perverts attack the victims, my anger boils.  Child molesters don't have any business being on this earth.  When you harm the life of an innocent child, you give up all rights to be human in my view.

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, December 5, 2017

How I Handled Christmas In 10 Steps

I'm writing this a year in advance.  In fact, Christmas Day 2016, was just yesterday.  Things are beginning to get back to normal.  Email and social media feeds are starting to liven up again.  Trash pickup just went by trying to collect everyone's trash from yesterday.  So, yeah, Christmas is over once again.

However, I thought I would write this because someone asked me if I would do anything different the next year.  I had written earlier that I struggled to deal with the holidays.  I'm one of those where the hurt and pain shows up with the fun and presents.

Growing up, my mom did her best to really go all out celebrating Christmas on a shoestring budget.  Yes, we were envious of our friends who got a lot of presents, but my mom tried to make it special in other ways.  From decorating Christmas cookies, to the food and candy she would make and to just decorating the house, it became a special day.

Unfortunately, in the midst of all of it there was a lot of stuff that hit the fan.  There were many moments that are painful and in fact so painful, that I can't even talk about them yet.  I've done a tremendous amount of healing and forgiveness but the stuff is there in too great of quantities.

So, when Christmas comes - it isn't easy.  The turmoil that hits me emotionally and in my mind feels like 200 MACK trucks hitting me at about 100 mph every second of every day.  It isn't easy.  Lord knows I've tried to find ways to deal with it, but it just is not easy.  If you're like I am, than this isn't news to you.

Here's some of the things I did in 2016 and I'm writing this to my future self so I'll remember what worked and what helped.

  1. We were able to take a trip for a few days leading up to Christmas.  In that final week before Christmas, I truly struggle, and so this helped keep my mind off of dwelling on it.
  2. I tried to slow down for December.  Even half of my normal speed is almost too much.  A few things to do can quickly and easily overwhelm me.  So, it's best to slow it down a lot!
  3. I made sure that anything I wanted to get done to celebrate Christmas was done by the middle of the month.  I knew that the last week or two, I just needed to coast through it.  Any more than that and it was too much.
  4. I reached out to my partner and tried to explain things about what I needed.  He was very loving and compassionate and worked with me.
  5. I reached out to friends, and they were a support during this time.  In fact, I tried to help be there for them, and I think it helped me in the long run.
  6. I recognized that this was a tough time and tried hard not to beat myself up for it.  It is the way it is, and there is no sense in shaming myself into what my "surreal concept" should be for Christmas.
  7. I tried to get in extra exercise and activity by walking and worked to not let myself isolate from others or the outdoors.  Fortunately, I live in a warm climate, but just being outside in nature and the sun helped me greatly.
  8. I looked for ways to be creative, but not necessarily that I had to complete a project.  Creativity helps me deal with life and stress and the past.  If I embrace it, it helps me.
  9. I would look for moments of quietness and stillness to just take care of myself.  I didn't do this to hide or isolate, but to just give myself a chance to breathe.
  10. I worked to help connect with my mind and body through awareness and breathing so I could give myself a boost in energy to deal with all the pain I was facing.

For the most part, these things helped.  Yes, I did get depressed.  Yes, I struggled with anxiety.  I already try to stay out of the stores right around the holiday because people are usually rude and inconsiderate.  It takes very little to push me over the edge.

I do avoid any parties because I just don't do well at this time.  On Christmas, I stay away from family functions because it is just too much for me to sort out.  A good video and downtime from the computer are far more welcomed to me than having to negotiate family pain.

These things help.  I just know that it isn't an easy time and I've learned it is okay to be okay with that.  The "beautiful family gatherings" may exist out there, but I know many who struggle with the pain it brings.  If we honor and respect where we are, what we can do and that we have so much going for us, it can make the days go a little easier.

What do you do to help yourself handle Christmas?  Leave a reply and let me know.

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, November 30, 2017

Tis The Season For Christmas Music

Written by Don Shetterly
By the time this posts, we will be well into the Christmas season.  The shopping is in full swing.  The company Christmas parties are scheduled.

Growing up as a kid, the holiday season was something I looked forward to for weeks.  The artificial Christmas tree going up with the lights and decorations holds an endearing place in my heart.  My mom would bake all types of Christmas candy and cookies which I enjoyed.

There were the Christmas programs at church and at school that I would rehearse for and prepare.  Most of the time I was playing Christmas carols on the piano.  I loved every minute of it.  In high school, I was the main pianist for the choir.

In among all the good, there were some very rough moments, but the one thing that remained with me throughout my life is Christmas music.  It always gave me a smile and a moment of peace.  It helps bring in the joy and anticipation of the season.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity of creating a CD of Christmas Music for someone to give as a gift.  My Christmas Songs CD is a collection of many of my own favorite songs of the season.

The CD is filled with simple music played on the piano in just the way I used to play it when I was a kid.  It will connect with you emotionally and lift you up in the spirit of the season with joy and peace.

I hope you check my CD out.  You can listen to it or download it on most of the music download sites.  If it doesn't show up in your favorite music store, let me know, and I'll see if I can get them to carry it.  If you want, you can also buy the physical CD!

The Christmas Songs CD is ideal for family gatherings or Christmas parties.  Play it when you decorate your Christmas tree.  Use it in the morning where you wake up on Christmas Day and open presents.

Please share this blog post with everyone you know.  I'm proud of this CD, and this music means something very special to me.

Tis The Season For Christmas Music!

The Christmas Songs On the CD

  1. Silent Night, Holy Night
  2. Angels From The Realms Of Glory
  3. Away In A Manger
  4. The First Noel (Nowell)
  5. What Child Is This?
  6. We Three Kings
  7. It Came Upon The Midnight Clear
  8. Hark The Herald Angels Sing
  9. O Little Town Of Bethlehem
  10. O Come All Ye Faithful
  11. Joy To The World
  12. Deck The Halls
  13. I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day
  14. Christmas Morning Bells
  15. Christmas Medley

Download / Listen To Christmas Songs 

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/30/17 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Sometimes We Break Into Many Pieces

Written By Don Shetterly
It is a given in life I think that sometimes things don't go as planned.  Sometimes we break into many pieces.  When this happens, it is never fun, but sometimes it is necessary.

I can look back at my life and see just how many times I felt so broken inside.  The moments where I felt like I could not go on and I would not make it.  Experiences that felt like they were taking me under as I gulped for my last breath of air.

In these moments of life, I felt like I had broken into so many pieces that there would never be a way to put myself together.  I didn't believe at those times that I could go on and make it in life.  In fact, at one point I went through the paralysis of Conversion Disorder. It felt like walking again was a pipe dream.

Through all of those moments, I came to realize that I could make it.  I had more strength within myself than I realized existed at that second.  When I thought there was no more to get, somehow I reached further down and found more strength.

I also came to realize that sometimes when I felt so broken, that it was in those moments where I found my way forward.  It almost took the millions of pieces I had become before I could begin to piece life back together.

In fact, I think for the junk in life I no longer needed, the pieces had to break.  It was the only way out for the stuff that was no longer useful.  If I hadn't broken into many pieces, I would have held on to the things forever.  In the end, I would not have made it without going through this step.

While I know, it isn't easy when your life has been shattered.  I know it is difficult to see that this may result in something good.  I understand that.  However, I know in my own life, and I've got a feeling you do too, that you will make it through this.  I've got a feeling that you'll discover strength you didn't know what was present.

Even though sometimes we break into many pieces, just remember that we can always put ourselves together.  When we do this, we often find a much stronger way of piecing our life back, so we're more prepared to take on so much more in the future!

Blog Post And Images (c) November 28, 2017, by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, November 23, 2017

A Thanksgiving Song

Written By Don Shetterly
This was a song I helped create for a Thanksgiving Day exercise.  I believe we were going to Faith Baptist Church of Hampton, Iowa at the time.  This was an activity we did as a family.  I guess because I played the piano it seemed logical. 

It has been many years since I have seen the words to this and my copy is tattered and worn.  To the best of my knowledge and as far as I know, there are no other copies of this song.

While it is hard to remember back to 1975 when this was created, I believe my mom helped me do this with limited assistance from others in my family.  My mom is no longer living, so there is no way to check for sure. 

At the top of the page is written, "tune to Onward Christian Soldiers."  I'm going to write the words here, and please feel free to use it if you want.  Just give me (Don Shetterly) credit for the words.  Most likely it was around 1975 when it was created.


Dear Lord, we love you every day.
We're thankful always too,
We praise you for your blessings,
And lift our hearts to you.
You give us hope and cheer our hearts and
you hear our prayers too.
Help us, Lord, to do your will and
keep us ever true.

Now we thank you for our friends, for fellowship so sweet,
keep us ever faithful and make our lives complete.

(c) 1975 by Don Shetterly, Barb Shetterly

May you be thankful in whatever form that takes for you on this Thanksgiving Day.  I hope that your thankfulness will extend beyond this day and become a daily experience.  Be not only thankful but let your heart give the blessings you have to those who need a little help.

Blog Post And Images (c) November 23, 2017, by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Staying Ignorant

Written By Don Shetterly
Growing up, our house was not one where we were allowed to challenge the status quo.  What my father said was meant to be the law, and you did not object, argue, or ask for an explanation.  Staying ignorant was the law of our house.

We were abused under these rules, and we were molested and beaten and psychologically abused.  Any attempt to circumvent or change that was met with punishment that was more harsh and severe and quick then one could contemplate.  If you spare the rod, then it means you would spoil the child was the judgment of the court in our house.  Yet, staying ignorant was the norm.

Our minds were brainwashed under these rules.  Even though we were urged to think for ourselves, it was not allowed.  It was not given fertile ground to develop, and if you attempted to do it, you would be met with the "silent treatment."  You were ostracized and put in the dog house for daring to stand up and challenge anything spoken.

Sure, the king in charge of my family would act as if this did not happen. The family king would make a spectacle out of you, telling everyone that knew you, just how wrong you were.  They took facts out of context and prove to others, that you had no idea what you were saying.  No matter what was needed, they would ensure that you were the crazy one who dared stand up and speak out against the king of the house.

Watching pets be killed or being told that if you dared to stand up, the cops would not be able to do anything for you proved that you had no choice.  Learning that God would punish you if you challenged the king or he specially wanted you to just follow the will of the family is just how things were in our house.

Staying ignorant was all we knew.  While we heard others may brainwash us in their ways and beliefs, we were the ones being brainwashed and yet we did not know it.  What seemed abusive and wrong to others, seemed normal to us.  We knew no different.  It is what we had been taught.

When I finally got up the courage to stand on my own and walk away, I was labeled as crazy.  It was the medication, the doctors, and my friends who led me astray.  People that had known me most of my life were told just how far off the deep end I had gone.  Staying ignorant was what they demanded of us.

To this day, I'm on my own.  I don't have contact with the ones that wished to silence me.  I said enough is enough.  Staying ignorant was no longer a choice, but it was so difficult to do.  It took courage and strength to stand through the pain of the separation.  It was not for the faint of heart.

I'm glad I escaped and found my own life, but it took me many years to begin undoing the harm and brainwashing that was done to me.  Staying ignorant is how the family wishes to remain, but no longer will I let anyone brainwash me.

I work each day to become more than I am.  I strive to go in and clean out the dark places of my life and let go of things that no longer serve me.  It is a process to unlearn all that you were taught even if it was toxic and ignorant.  It is not an easy process, and while many give up trying to do it, I'm glad that I am no longer staying ignorant.

My life is much better as I grow in my own awareness and consciousness.  Keeping someone down because of beliefs and control is no way for any human to live.

Blog Post And Images (c) Nov 21, 2017, by Don Shetterly
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Thursday, November 16, 2017

Child Abuse Survivors Are Not Alone

Written By Don Shetterly
Far too many times we think we're all alone out in the world.  We believe there is no one else that has suffered through situations like we have.  We see our experiences as isolating us from others, when in fact, many have also walked in similar shoes on the road of life.

When I was first starting to deal with the memories of child sexual abuse, I thought I was alone.  I didn't think anyone understood.  I didn't know there was anyone else that had gone through these things.  Boy, was I so wrong!

In the early days, there were not the online resources that exist today.  There was not a team of therapists and support people that you could reach out to for help.  The internet was beginning to come alive, but resources were few and far between.  I remember going to one of the first support forums for male survivors.

The thing that this place helped the most was letting us all share our experiences and how we were struggling and dealing with them.  When you started to read the things other members wrote, you began to see that you weren't alone.  It was like a shot of a Hallelujah Chorus singing for all the heavens to hear.  It was that powerful.

When you go through abuse, even if the innermost parts of you can determine it is harmful and wrong, there's a part that says, "this is what is normal in life."  When you are a child experiencing these horrendous acts, it blurs the line between what is normal and what is not.  You carry that through into your adult years as if it is a conflicting truth which you have built your life upon.

Knowing that others have gone through experiences I had and that the trauma and abuse were anything but normal, helps significantly in reconciling your life with truth.  It is in that vulnerability that we come to know more of what the truth is.

One of the hardest things for survivors of abuse is feeling like they are alone and no one understands.  I'm grateful that there is a network of support out there for child abuse survivors.  The tricky part comes in getting those to see that they are not alone and others will be there supporting them as they begin their healing journey.

I can almost guarantee you that if you feel you're alone in what you are going through, there are others out there that understand this.  When you meet that individual, you will find a sense of strength and determination in healing from the horrors of your past.  It may not make the path easy, but at least you do not have to do this alone.

 Some great resources

  1. Male Survivor
  2. Surviving My Past
  3. Mind Body Thoughts Blog (this blog)

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Do We Really Want Change?

Written By Don Shetterly
These days I see people pushing one movement or another.  I look at where we are told to "stand up to this issue" or "prevent this issue" or "bring awareness to an issue."  But yet, I wonder if we really want to change.

We give lip service that we do.  We fill our Twitter and Facebook feeds with it, but then our actions portray just the opposite.   Please don't mistake this blog post as being a political one, because it is much bigger than that. I am more focused on mind body health and healing.

I've written some blog posts about intense and difficult subjects.  These are often about the things that everyone wants to stop, prevent, change or bring about through awareness.  Yet, when I share those online, the click rate to the blog post is barely existent.

It appears that we want to help change the world and bring awareness, prevention, or support, but we really don't want to do much more than that.  So, I have to question, do we really want change?

I know... I know..  Everyone will say of course we want change.  Of course we care about our issues, but unfortunately, actions speak louder.  If all you're willing to do is retweet or like or share the fact that you are raising awareness, does that go far enough?  In my view, I don't believe that it does.

I don't even believe it means we have to protest or sign petitions.  I'm not convinced that those always bring about the change we need.  We may think we do, and there may be some evidence of it, but does it really do what we think it does?  To me, it feels more like screaming and boiling water than actually doing something.

After all, if you want to change the world, it begins with each one of us.  It doesn't start by beating someone else over the head to see the world the way we do.  It doesn't begin with bullying someone into believing the way we do.  It starts with how we change our own lives in this world.

It isn't just a thought process in what we think and believe.  From deep within the core of the mind and body, it radiates out energetically as a vibration.  What is genuinely within us is shown to the world.  We may not be conscious of it.  We may not be aware of it, but it is on display.

Do we really want change?  If we do, we'll support conscious behavior that helps others heal.  We will quit focusing on the latest trending story of the day and look beyond to a bigger picture.  If we really want change, we'll start by examining ourselves from the deepest parts, not from our belief system.

I'm not going to stop writing about the hard and challenging subjects.  People may stay in the clouds and not read these things.  That is their choice, but I'm not going to sit by silently.  I'm not going to watch others be abused and remain silenced.

This blog and everything I write is about pushing us beyond our comfort zone.  It is about challenging our beliefs and opinions and current awareness.  I strive to get people who read this blog to think about everything more and in a different light.

We are following a dangerous path in this world, and we really need to ask the hard questions.  I'll leave you with this question one last time:  Do we really want change?  If we do, it must begin with each one of us.  Let our mind body health and healing start within our own continued awareness of what is possible.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Sunday, November 12, 2017

Need A Good Webhost for Wordpress?

Web Hosting

I know this is off topic!  Unfortunately, to keep the lights on, I have to do a little bit of this.  So, I only promote products that I love and use, and that help me.  This one happens to be a new web hosting company for my WordPress sites.

Lately, I've been having major issues with a webhost that I've been with for many years.  Most of the time, the webhost was good (LunarPages).  In the past six months to a year, they just weren't cutting it for me.  Their service was hit or miss and more miss than hit.  The performance of their servers was really dragging my sites down.

I tried to work with them.  I really did, but the support responses were so poor that I felt frustrated.  I signed up for their managed shared support and thought that this would help.  Instead, I had someone try to lecture me about something on which they were flat wrong.  Fortunately a supervisor stepped in and helped in that one situation.

Anyway, I got tired of continual problems, lack of support, and performance issues on my sites.  I started to look elsewhere, and fortunately, I found a place called

I was nervous to switch, but when LunarPages messed up my account so bad at one point that I could not access my site, it was the last straw.  I made the switch to, and I have not regretted it.

LunarPages did contact me after I left negative feedback and reviews about them asking if they could do anything to keep me and some clients as a customer.  Unfortunately, I had tried to reach out to them many times, and they dismissed me, so in my mind it was too late.  Plus the server performance was so much better for me that there was no way I was going back.

What I Love About

  1. The speed of my website and the WordPress dashboard are outstanding.  When I go to my site, it loads quickly.  There is no going to get a cup of coffee and waiting till it loads scenario.
  2. Customer support has been excellent.  No, let me rephrase that.  They have been outstanding.  Not only did they follow up making sure I had my new account set up correctly, but they also helped when I had one thing I was not sure how to do.  In seven minutes on live support chat, the customer rep had the issues solved and corrected.
  3. When I run on my account and start to look at page speed and performance, instead of my site taking 10 seconds to load, it now loads in about 2 seconds.  It is the same site, just transferred from LunarPages to

An Extra Bonus With

If you want to, you can apply for an affiliate account, which I did.  In fact, if you click on the banners or links here, you'll be helping me out.

But that's not all!  Even if you do not want to be an affiliate, they have a referral code, and for every friend that signs up for hosting with SiteGround, you get three months free on your hosting plan.  A nice little extra if you ask me!

See For Yourself

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I did sign up for the Go Geek plan with them because I have big plans for upcoming website development.

Need Help With Wordpress?

If you need help with your own wordpress site, just email me.  I do build wordpress sites and I help people with SEO.  I can also assist you in migrating your site from a host over to .

Web Hosting

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Do You Want To Be Concsious Online?

Written By Don Shetterly
I'm sitting here in frustration at the moment watching what happens online every day.  I see it and keep hoping it will change, but the needle seems to be going in the negative direction.  So, I'm left to wonder, do people want to be conscious?

Somedays, it seems like social media is nothing more than a rant about political beliefs.  The world could be ending in this very second, and all anyone seems to care about is the latest tirade on Twitter or the grabbing headline of the day.  There is no in-depth analysis.  It is what people hear that they regurgitate no matter how hard they try to convince others they make up their own minds.  Sorry, the evidence shows the contrary.

People want to be concerned about mental health, depression, suicide and anxiety among other health situations.  I applaud this.  I think it needs to be talked about, but far too often it means nothing more than a retweet or like on social media.  The conversation doesn't continue.  It only ticks up the counters in the tweet or post.  I see this in stuff especially about suicide I have posted.  It gets clicks, but that's as far as it goes.

What does it matter?

There are so many games played online with people where if you click this, I'll follow you back.  Oh look, I can buy more followers.  Oh look, people, see how much I can spend online to get a lot of retweets, likes, and comments.  At the end of the day, what does that matter?  What have you accomplished that changed your life or the world?

Don't you dare say anything that doesn't fit into everyone's beliefs because it would be too uncomfortable if we could discuss with someone who holds opposing thoughts?  It doesn't matter if it is hot-button issues or simple things, I've seen the sudden drop online because of it.  I don't necessarily look for those that agree with me, but I just look for those that respect others.  We can hold differing viewpoints, but we're still fellow humans traveling on this earth.

Many people online act as if they have the only answer.  They are the experts.  They know the truth.  There is nothing else or anything that they could possibly entertain.  So, once again I ask, do people want to be conscious?

Some give lip service...

I really wonder if people do because I see very few that attempt to do this.  Some give lip service to it.  Some make it appear they do, but it is the same thing as if you have a glass house thinking no one can see inside.

It isn't about what other people want and what they do either.  It is about each one of us and what we want.  Do you want to be conscious?  Are you willing to go the distance and be conscious?  Are you ready to step away from all you know, all you have been taught and your beliefs to be conscious?

I mean, are you ready to challenge everything you know and drop what no longer serves you?  No, I don't say you do this if it agrees with you, but if it makes you uncomfortable.  I mean, if it makes you question things that are not easy.  It is where we begin to find consciousness.  We do not find it in the safety of our routine lives.

Diminished what was written...

I posted something about the topic of what is truth.  One person immediately without reading it said it is a religious thing.  They did not even entertain what the blog post was about but was so quick to state their belief rather than be informed.  They diminished what was written by their own unconsciousness.  They were not showing love or compassion or understanding.

So, once again I ask, Do you want to be conscious?  I'm not going to let anyone off the hook on this blog post.  I know this is a hard question.  I know we want to say, of course, we do, but in all reality - is that true?

I too struggle with this daily, and I think that is a good thing.  If you want to be conscious, but you don't wade into the water, you may need to work on being more honest with yourself.  See, we fool ourselves into thinking that we are more than what we are.  We kid ourselves into believing that we have everything together while we hide and ignore, numb and disconnect to what is the truth around us.

Deeper than we currently see...

Consciousness is not just a thought process.  It means being connected to our mind, body, emotions, thoughts, and the higher spiritual side of where we fit in this world.  Consciousness is not just a meme we retweet or the fake smile we paste on our face.  It is more than spouting our own beliefs as if everyone else should think like us.  It is deeper than we currently see and if we think we are conscious, we most likely are a long way off.

Consciousness means we go in and become aware of all parts of our life, even the most uncomfortable ones.  Where fear is afraid to tread, that's where we go to become more aware and conscious.

It is up to each one of us how we live our life.  If we spend every waking minute worrying about the latest tirade of the day, we're not helping the world.  We're adding to the problem.  The world and human civilization have serious issues, and it is looking for people to step up to the plate and help solve these problems.  Unfortunately, we have a world that is screaming at one another.  Nothing is being resolved.

Through your actions...

Do you want to be conscious?  It isn't a yes or no answer.  It is how you live in a day and what you do through your actions that give the answers.  It is where you focus your time and help and love, not just how much you act as if you do.  Conscious means doing more and being more than you were yesterday and not as far as tomorrow.  It is a daily commitment, not a one time retweet or like or post.

I write because I want to see the world and human civilization wake up.  No, I'm not referring to politics or religion.  I mean, waking up from the inside out.  Learning how to live not only in your mind but in your body.  Seeing that your life is led by a heart that is fully open, not close or semi-open from the trials of life.

I write because I want to make a difference.  I don't care about many of the issues most get frantic about these days.  Those are temporary unconscious events that only bring out the worst in people.  I'm more concerned with how you deal with your health and mental well-being.  The overall love and acceptance of others are what matters to me, not the judgment and condemnation we shove in other people's faces.

Do you want to be conscious?  If you do, make sure your actions and thoughts and your words work in that direction.  See the big picture, not the moment by moment parts of life that do not advance the civilization of this universe.  See that consciousness begins deep inside of you and radiates out for all to observe.

I'll leave you with this question one last time because I just want you to think about it.  The answer is not as important as the process of contemplation.  Do You Want To Be Conscious?

Blog Post And Images (c) 11/9/2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, November 8, 2017

I Won't Back Down

Written by Don Shetterly
I learned recently that Tom Petty passed away.  I did not know his music for a long time, but when I found it, it meant the world to me.  During that particular period in my life, it spoke to me like very little music did.

One of his songs that is an inspirational help to me is "I Won't Back Down."  When I first heard this song, I was going through horrible moments in my life.  I was just coming to terms with the abuse I had gone through.  It felt like everything was against me, including my family and life itself.

The lyrics state "you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down," and that's exactly what it felt like to me.  It was hell in my life healing and coming to terms with what had been done to me.  If you've been through childhood sexual abuse or torture, you most likely understand the things I am saying.

In another line, the song goes, "Well I know what's right, I got just one life.  In a world that keeps pushin' me around, but I'll stand my ground."  At that moment of my life, I felt like I was being pushed around, but I still knew what was right.

I had a CD of songs that I played which I called my empowerment songs and "I Won't Back Down" was one of them.  Whenever I felt like I wasn't making it or I needed a boost in life, I would play this CD.

Tom Petty's song helped me see that no matter what I've been through, I Won't Back Down.  He kept me going when sometimes that was a huge mountain to climb.

Healing from childhood sexual abuse and torture was and still is not easy at times.  It feels like pure hell.  Often it feels like you won't make it through all the pain or be able to stand when it is over.  That's where I believe what Tom Petty says, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I Won't Back Down."

I am sad to hear he passed away.  He will forever be missed in my heart and the hearts of many.  The world needs more people in it like him who see life for what it is, not what we're led to believe it is.

So even though Tom Petty is no longer with us on this earth, I'll say, "You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down."  Oh no, I won't back down.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, November 6, 2017

Interview On Bullying and Psychological Abuse

Today's post highlights an interview I did with author, Laura Corbeth.  She is the author of the book, My Courage To Tell and I highly recommend this book.  She shares how she got through her own experiences of bullying and psychological abuse.

The interview is posted on my other site, Mind so go check it out.

Hopefully you get a chance to go check out her book on Amazon.  I really enjoyed reading it.

Read The Interview on Bullying with Laura Corbeth


Wednesday, November 1, 2017

With Empathy and Without Judgment

Written By Don Shetterly
I see this happen all the time.  I saw it way back, on one of the earliest little forums for people helping others.  We tried to learn how to own up to our own insecurities and be empathetic with others.  We tried not to respond with judgment, even that which was inadvertent.

Yet, I still see the same thing practiced today that I saw back then.  Everyone wants to preach at another person and tell them what they should do.  Rather than telling themselves, they make sure everyone hears what they are doing wrong.

Often times, I think we are really telling ourselves what we should do, while we make our response out to be for someone else.  It is a subtle distinction but very powerful and very preachy.

I'm sure I probably fail in this at times on this blog.  I try hard, but sometimes, it just happens.

However, I do find that if I share some of my own struggles and become vulnerable with others, it means so much more to them than if I started telling them what to do.  Saying that you should do this or you should do that does not connect as much as if I share my own struggle and how I got through it.

We resonate deeply with others when we know someone has walked through the fire.  When it is hard to determine that, we're not as inclined to hear.  When we feel the slightest ego or judgment, it is then that we say, "I'll figure this out on my own," and we tune others out.

There are far too many in this world, and especially online, who are quick to judge and tell you what they think you should be doing.  It is an epidemic, and with social media, it happens in an instant.  Everyone has an opinion, but these days, it is turned into belief and fact, without consideration that not everyone sees things the way they do.  It is okay if we all see things differently because together it makes us stronger.

Healing and helping are about putting your arm of compassion around someone and saying, "I'm here for you."  It is about checking your own issues, cloaked in judgment, at the door because they help no one.  If you respond through your own wounded self and ego, it is not a healthy connection.
(click to read the blog post)

Yes, I know we are all human, and we're all learning.  We are probably never going to get this right 100% of the time, but I believe we need to put a much greater effort toward it.  If we want to be human, we need to focus on where our responses to others originate.

So, let's try something.  Just for today.  When you talk or write back to people, whether it is in person or online, how are you genuinely coming across?  Are you connecting with an arm of compassion and love, or is your ego making sure that your opinions and beliefs are being forced upon others?

Check Out

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Friday, October 27, 2017

Buck Up or Man Up!

Written by Don Shetterly
This topic gets under my skin so quickly.  When I hear someone tell me or another person to "BUCK UP or MAN UP" I want to do some things that are not nice thoughts.  How anyone can be this inconsiderate and  not compassionate is beyond my wildest comprehension of humanity.

To say these things to anyone is very harmful and shows you know very little about what someone is going through.  It is degrading and toxic.  It is spitting in their face from what they are going through in their life.

Why people do this, I'll never understand!  It is far from human and just about as mean as one could get.  It is almost like someone is trying to push you over the cliff thinking they are doing something good for you.  With friends like this, who needs enemies!

We don't know how to respect one another...

Yes, I understand that in this day and age, we have no clue what it means to be human.  We don't know how to respect one another.  We don't know how to have compassion and love for one another.

All we seem to know how to do is spout off nonsense and tear each other apart.  We have no concept of what empathy means or compassion.  We just have to force our beliefs and opinions of what we think is helpful on to every person around us.  This is not being human.  It is far from that concept!

Often times we tell others what we should be telling ourselves.  Yet, we're so unconscious that we can't even see what we are doing. What comes out of our mouth is not meant to be toxic poison on another person.  It is meant for us to say to ourselves or reconcile to what is truly helpful.

Two Ears and ONE mouth...

We were given one mouth and two ears.  We should really use them in an appropriate amount but for some reason, we as humans in this world think that we have to talk twice as much as we listen.  This could not be further from the truth.

When someone is going through a difficult moment, it is not up to you to have the answers.  Sometimes just listening to them can be the biggest help.  By listening to them, I mean using your ears more than your mouth.  Sorry, if this sounds harsh, but it is time we had some wake-up calls in this world.

Heaping more stress on someone...

Saying BUCK UP or MAN UP does nothing for anyone.  You just end up heaping a little more stress on a person when you do this.  You should that you're not that compassionate and you really don't care about what they are going through.  You are more interested in telling them what YOU think they should do.

Telling someone to BUCK UP or MAN UP is like hitting them with a car, then backing up and driving over them again.   If you don't think it is as harmful as this, try going through a very difficult ordeal in your life and see what it feels like when someone does this to you.

We've got to learn how to be more compassionate with people.  We are past the point of no return and every day we share and retweet what we do, we're proving that beyond a shadow of a doubt.  Every time we tell others what we think as if it was the truth, we're degrading all of humanity into something that means nothing.

It isn't all the other people out there with the problem.  It is each one of us and how we react, what we share and say to people we know and the world that is the problem.  Let's talk from our heart with love, not scream words our ego dictates to us.  If we change how we communicate and how we see others, we will improve the world many times over.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, October 25, 2017

A Gaping Wound Of Society

Written By Don Shetterly
As I write this, I am seeing the news of the massacre that happened in Las Vegas.  Last night about the time it started, I was awakened by an uneasy feeling.  Just like in the Pulse Nightclub attack, I felt what was going on.  It is not an easy thing to deal with when you physically feel these horror filled moments.

I'm struggling to focus as I write this because I am stunned.  Like so many others, I can find no way to comprehend how anyone could do such a thing to innocent people.  I cannot comprehend what it was like to be there in that moment of what Jason Aldean said, "beyond horrific!"

This continues to be a gaping wound of society.  It feels like one tragedy after another.  It feels like there is no guaranteed tomorrow.  We wonder if we're next.  It frightens and numbs us.

We're living in a country right now where everyone thinks screaming at one another is a good thing.  There is no listening and there is hardly any compassion to be found.  Instead we blame one another.  We point fingers at one another.  We call each other names.

There is no respect for one another.  It seems like we only see each other as an enemy, not as a fellow human that is walking this earth the same way we are.

What will it take to stop this...

I wonder what it will take to stop this.  I wonder when it will end.  It is mind boggling to me just how much hate there is in the world, both directed internally and externally.

The way this event will touch the lives of so many will unfold in the days and months ahead.  I still remember the Pulse Nightclub attack and how it left all of us in this area dazed and confused.  It still hits me in the gut knowing what happened.

The only thing I can add in this blog post with is what someone on twitter wrote.  I think it is a perfect thought for this moment, because I know of no other thing that makes sense to me right now.

May each of us work to find a way to reverse the course we are on in this world.  It is not up to anyone else but each of us individually.

If we share those tweets that spread the hatred, we're fanning the flames.  If we connect and propagate on those that only know hate and divisiveness, then we're as much a part of the problem.

I hope we choose differently as individuals.  The violence and hatred has got to stop.  It is not helping humanity.  We all have to look long and hard at how we contribute to this.

Let not our actions in a day or what we engage in be part of the gaping wound of society.  Let us be the healing balm applied so the wound disappears and scar tissue forms.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, October 23, 2017

Helping Prevent Suicide

(Written by Insights Into Healing, Barbara)

In a previous blog post a couple of years ago, I talked about how I dealt with the loss of my son.  He committed suicide on November 8, 2012.  This article was not just about the details, but more importantly, how I made it through this time.  It was difficult and made it difficult for me to even understand what it meant to live in life.

Check out my thoughts and the video webinar that we've done.  Our intent and purpose is helping prevent suicide.  Whether you've been through this before you know someone that has, this webinar is extremely helpful.

To see the webinar, go to Helping Prevent Suicide

You can make it through this! 

 - Barbara (Insights Into Healing)

Read all of Barbara's Columnist Posts

(Editorial assistance by Jeff Lemlich)


Unified Therapy

Visit Barbara At:

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Barbara
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Friday, October 20, 2017

Abused By Being Ignored

(Written By Don Shetterly)
This is a big trigger for me, and right now it is in full force.  It isn't just one trigger, but multiple ones from multiple sources right now.  Being ignored is not something that is easy for me to deal with in life.

At one time, the abusers sought to ignore me if I didn't do what they wanted.  It wasn't just me as they did it to everyone in the house.  Ignoring you meant you were less than and not worthy of love or attention or even one iota of concern.  This was in addition to having to fight for attention from others in the family that did so much stupid stuff, they readily got attention.

I don't deal with this well.  In fact, as I'm writing this I think I should just go completely quiet and never speak to anyone again.  I'll stop tweeting, texting, and blogging.  That's the way I feel at this moment.

For me, my friends and people I know mean the world to me.  You don't get past that wall very easily, and when you do, you're very special to me.  I realize that everyone has their busy lives with jobs, work, family, and other things.  I get that.  I really do.

Some days, I feel like if I went and ranted and raved about the latest political firestorm of the day, others would listen and want to engage.  I just have no desire to swim in that mud pit.  I'm not about to start because I see the political firestorms as being nothing more than people screaming while no one is listening.

I feel hurt when I think I'm being ignored, regardless of the reason or issue or who is doing it.  Most likely others don't mean to ignore me, but it feels that way.  When I feel that, it triggers all kinds of bad thoughts in my mind of not being loved or wanted just like many years ago.

For now, I'm probably going to take time away from answering any emails or trying to initiate any emails.  I'm going to ease up on social media a little more because to be quite honest, I'm not sure if it is really worth it.  Maybe this is the way for me to see this.  I don't know.

I try to be there for many, but some days, I feel like I walk alone.  I'm feeling hurt right now and unwanted and unloved.  Maybe tomorrow when I wake up, it will be a new day.  One can hope, can't they?

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Dental Anxiety and Teeth Brushing

Written By Don Shetterly
I've got a feeling I'm not the only one out there struggling with this issue.  In fact, I know others that have admitted this to me.  If you've followed me for some time, you've probably seen that I struggle with dental anxiety.

Now, I'm not just talking about being a little afraid of going to the dentist.  I'm referring to full on anxiety attacks in just making an appointment.  For me to pick up the phone, that's when the anxiety at full speed.  Getting into the dentist office is nothing short of running 20 marathons in a single minute.

One of the things I truly struggle with is anytime anyone puts anything in my mouth like the dentist.  I freak out.  I freeze.  My body literally goes into such a fear response that it becomes very rigid.  I'm so frustrated with this and I put off much needed work until it got so bad I had not choice but to go in and struggle with my fears.

A dentist I've found close to me is very good about working with me.  I do use some medication to help me get in the door and I have a trusted friend with me at all times.  In fact, my friend is the one that makes the appointments and handles anything over the phone on this, because I just can't bring myself to do this part.

One of the things I've noticed in myself about dental anxiety is how difficult it is to brush my teeth.  I grew up doing this every day, but when the memories of abuse triggered me so much, it was an all out battle to get myself to brush my teeth.

Now, I have noticed that just to insert the toothbrush into my mouth is triggering beyond any words I could write here.  Of course, this compounds the problem.  I'm pushing myself to brush my teeth now, but it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I do.

I just want people to be aware of this, especially dentists.  Some of us struggle so hard and while we try to trust the professionals, it is not easy.  As I said, it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I go for a dentist appointment.  My dentist is great and works with me, but no matter what, I feel that trigger.  My body feels it.  My body reacts to it.

Even writing about this is difficult and I can feel the anxiety and heat rise within me.  It is not a simple trigger to me.  I'd so love to get beyond it and be able to go to the dentist office like normal people do.  I hate this part about life because it is exhausting and overwhelming.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Monday, October 16, 2017

Going From Mom To A Medium

This month, Amanda's latest column is now on a new site. is where you will find it.

In this October column, Amanda talks about how she switches gears in her life going from mom to a medium.  There are certain steps she takes to help herself shift and switch the medium channel.

Read her column, Switching the Medium Channel at the new website place,

Column Link (click below)

Friday, October 13, 2017

Recovering From Storm Stress

(Written By Don Shetterly)

This has been a challenging past few weeks.  Seeing the devastation in Houston and the Caribbean islands was difficult.  Seeing the floods and earthquakes throughout various countries in the world makes my heart cry for people.

We just experienced Hurricane Irma, and while things could be much worse, the stress of the storm was more than enough.  In the week leading up to its landfall, the stress and anxiety were so thick in the air.  In every store you went to, and on every road, you could see it in full force.  Then the storm hit, and just sitting through the howling of the wind, the shaking of the house, and wondering what will things look like in the morning was more than enough.

We lost power for 5 days, which was not easy in the Florida heat and humidity.  Sleep was almost nonexistent and being choked by the fumes of generators running in the area, I struggled to keep my wits about me.  It was exhausting and tiring.  It felt almost like you were in a daze and delirious.

When we got power back on, it felt so good.  I've never been so happy to flip a light switch on and have a darkened room lit up.  It never felt so good to have working air conditioning.  I was ecstatic not to hear generators running loudly 24 hours a day, and being sickened by the exhaust fumes.  I was happy that the constant emergency alerts they were sending out for anything and everything finally stopped

Body was too tired and stressed...

The first night we got power back on, I thought we would finally get a good night's sleep.  Unfortunately, we did not.  It was almost as if our bodies were too tired and stressed to let go and surrender into sleep.

The next couple of days, we felt exhausted and struggled to focus.  Naps were frequent and not enough.  I had other friends that were experiencing the same things.  The stress of the storm was at maximum levels.  Recovering from the storm stress was not as easy as I thought it would be.

I cannot imagine what people in Houston or the Caribbean Islands or Puerto Rico and other places are facing.  We had our house intact, but their whole world was torn apart in a matter of hours.  While the cameras have faded away from the impact, they are struggling to figure out how to piece their lives back together.  I'm sure many in this state will be doing the same.

Suicide Increases After A Storm...

A friend of mine shared an article published in the New York Times on June 21, 2006, talking about depression and suicide after a storm (hurricane).  After major disasters like what we've seen on the TV, the struggle is so difficult for people fighting to recover.  We've got friends in Houston, and we can tell how much they are struggling.

If you are struggling, keep in mind that this too shall pass.  There is a way forward, and if you keep searching for it, you will find it.  No, I'm not going to tell you it is easy because it is not.  However, don't give up.  Don't get lost in today's moment, because there is hope for a tomorrow that improves little by little.

Don't try to go it alone...

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, despair or thoughts of suicide, don't try to go it alone.  Yes, these things make you want to hide in a cave and build walls up to everyone around you who care.  While that may feel like the only thing you can do at this moment, don't give in to it.  Seek out help and support.  Seek out qualified therapy and counseling.  In this time of recovery from storm stress, allow yourself to lean on others until you get strength back in your legs.

Recovering from storm stress is not easy.  It is challenging but just know that you're not alone.  Others are experiencing some of the same issues as you, but they may not be saying it.  Sometimes we want to give the appearance to the world that we are strong when we are crumbling inside.  I made that mistake for many years, and it almost cost me my life through Conversion Disorder.

Reach out and ask for help.  You may not get it from everyone you reach out to, but don't let that stop you.  If someone is reaching out to you with a helping hand, grab hold of their hand and let them help you steady yourself as you walk the difficult road ahead.

If someone reaches out to you, realize you don't have to solve all their problems, but be there for them with an extra helping of love and support.  Help them find the resources they need and be conscious, not unconscious in your help and support.

Recovering from storm stress may not be easy, but if we all reach out to one another, it will help lift every one of us up.  It will strengthen us as a human race and make us stronger together.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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