Monday, August 27, 2018

Please Don't Hang Yourself

This video that a mom did about her son who died by Suicide is very touching.  The reason she did it is so that she could help others who were hurting and in pain.  Often people who struggle suffer in silence and no one sees the pain they are experiencing.

I like the statement made in the short video, that so often those who lose out to suicide just want the pain to end.  I have felt that way in my life in those same moments.

Please know that others do care and there is help out there.  Watch my friend's video and see the resources she puts up.

I also did a webinar on Suicide a few years ago with a mom who lost her son.  Her statements helped wake me up in my own life and really shed light on what it does to the survivors.

I know that some out there think you should not discuss this side of suicide in this way, but it made all the difference for me.  Knowing what those who loved me would have to deal with brought a new perspective on suicide for me.  There's no way I could hurt them, and that is enough to kick my brain back out of the depths.

Of course, it is sad to note that the following video has not had many views.  It makes me roll my eyes a little.  Sometimes I think we say we want to help raise awareness and help others, but it becomes nothing more than words without action.  I am sorry if that offends anyone, but I don't want to see anyone die from suicide.

Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States  (source)

  • According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, in 2016:
    • Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of nearly 45,000 people.
    • Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
    • There were more than twice as many suicides (44,965) in the United States as there were homicides (19,362).

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Words Without Action Don't Mean Much

Words without action don't mean much in my opinion.  We seem to get that this is true, but yet in our civilization, humans fail to comprehend this concept.

Of course, if you are reading this, I'm sure you've never done this.  Words without action is probably something someone else does, right?  After all, we would never ever think of doing this.  I'm just being crazy, or am I?

So here are some examples that might help you see if you fall into this trap of words without action.

I see all too often that we preach love and acceptance to everyone.  We despise bullies and those that only see others through a narrow lens.  However, then the same people that are so put off by the rhetoric of hate and narrow-minded thinking can be found doing the same thing.  If you truly listen to yourself and watch what you share online or what you say in the privacy of only those that agree with you, it would be horrifying.

Another example is how people say they want to heal their lives or move on from situations, but what they do is anything but working towards this goal.  It is words without action.  They want to heal if it doesn't involve them going deep into areas of discomfort and stepping outside of their comfort zone.  They want to heal as long as it doesn't involve them going beyond the paradigms and belief system they know.  The desire to heal is there as long as it doesn't upset the family or social structure in their lives.

Last but not least is the example of saying phrases that are words without action.  They are statements that don't mean much.  For instance, you could constantly say to someone, "I love you," except that far too often, it is nothing but words.  There's no follow through with the words such as in action you take. 

You might tell someone that you miss them, but do absolutely nothing to stay in touch.  Either you are too busy for them, or you act as if there is no way to communicate.  You find a million excuses to go along with these words.  

Words without action show your priorities are off or you don't believe what you say.  They belittle those that bear the brunt of them.  They become passive aggressive swords that inflict pain.  

The world really needs people who are authentic.  We don't need more people who speak or write words without action because they just don't mean much.  You can claim all day long that it is everyone else that does this, but unless each one of us looks in the mirror, we won't see the log in our own eye.

Make your life authentic.  Make your life count so that when others hear you speak, your word is impeccable.  Don't be the person that speaks the words without action taken! 


Thursday, August 9, 2018

Modern Day Communication Is Failing

I really get irked these days by the modern day communication.  Everyone thinks that to have many followers is somehow a status of significance and importance in life.  I hate to break it to you, but it is not!

The old man on pawn stars said it perfectly on an episode.  As Chumlee was telling him how many Facebook friends he had, he asked him how many of them would show up to help him move on a weekend.  Of course, the answer was, probably not many. 

Not that we can't have friends on Facebook or Twitter and develop some deep, meaningful relationships with them, there is a limit to the role they play in life.  As humans, we need that physical interaction.  We were meant to have that physical connection to enhance life, not only see a figment of pixels online.

These days, we go from one feed to the next, screaming, ranting, raving, and liking or sharing what the masses are saying.  We join the crowd with the latest rant, or we beg our friends to like, retweet, share, or answer silly game questions.  It is as if these things matter far more than anything else in life. 

However, we don't communicate with others in the way that we think we do.  In fact, I would strongly suggest that communication is so poor these days, we've almost forgotten what it is. 

We have all these ways of communicating with one another and yet we're really not communicating.  I hear far too often, I'm so sorry because I've just been too busy to connect with you.  Really?  A text message or an email takes that long to write?  Calling someone on the phone is such a burden?

When I grew up, we had long distance calls.  There were no cell phones, text messages, email, instant messenger or tweets.  You had to find a phone and then place a call which was expensive because almost everything was long distance.  Letters were more common then. 

Don't get me wrong in that I'm saying all social media or modern forms of communication are wrong.  However, don't tell me that you can't keep in touch because you don't have enough time.  It isn't that you don't have enough time as much as what you consider a priority and how you manage your life.

If people truly matter in life to us, we'll make time for them.  Maybe we'll realize that the constant screaming and ranting and raving is just noise in our day.  Not everyone needs to see our shared political rants or religious beliefs.  Not all of us want to be coerced into donating money to your favorite cause.

Instead, I'd love to see people treat each other as humans.  This does not mean posting the latest meme but actually doing it.  We are all too fake in this world, and it is getting to the breaking point.

The Happy Birthday messages on Facebook still blows my mind.  Everyone can click and say Happy Birthday, but what about sending a card.  What about a heartfelt message?  Does anyone still remember what it means to receive an actual card in the mail?  To me, I treasure those.

We really need to reverse course on how we are interacting with one another in modern day communications.  If we're not careful, we will wake up one day and not recognize anyone around us.  We'll become more fearful of people on the street because we don't know who they are.

When this happens, we will have failed in what it means to be human.  Unfrotunately, we're not too far off from this point.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Are You Fake?

These days I'm beginning to wonder more and more about people online.  I'm sorry, but it is true.  Too many who are fake, but throw up the positive thoughts as if they are the sole answer to the universe.

If you post anything real, you get responses of fake positivity that really does little but leaves the recipient feeling empty and hoodwinked.  You might think your words are somehow magical, but if they are not authentic, then they have become the noisy cymbal in the band.

For some reason, people think they have to respond with some wisdom when maybe the person just needs to be heard.  Unfortunately these days, we don't know how to listen.  We only know how to force our views and opinions on others.

You can see this in all walks of life and different places but in reality, the fake part of who we are as humans begin within us.  We're the ones that perpetuate what we so often scream and rant about in life.

Being authentic and honest is what makes a difference.  Listening without judgment and I mean truly listening without judgment is so rare these days.  I see very few people that do this, and I can count them on one hand.

Are you fake?  I'm sure you would quickly answer with NO!  However, I'm guessing without knowing you that this may not be the whole story.

It is something to ponder and consider because I believe each one of us shows a fake side every day and if we don't think we do, then we are fooling ourselves.  In my view, the trick is to recognize it and see how authentic we can be.

Authenticity and vulnerability are the essences of human interaction.


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