Thursday, March 28, 2013

Hard To Believe I'm Loved

Hard To Believe I'm Loved
I saw a tweet today by Brene Brown (@BreneBrown in regards to Super Soul Sunday with Oprah.  It was a simple tweet, but one that connected with me.  The tweet went like this:  "The most important things our children can hear: No matter what, you will always belong here."

The reason it resonates with me is I heard words similar to this growing up, but unfortunately they were just words.  There was no action to back them up.  My family doesn't feel like I belong with them and so, some days it feels like I"m all alone.  Yes, I did make a decision to completely cut the ties between us, but it was only after I found that I didn't belong in my family.

For too many children, the family says you don't belong and they are kicked out to the street.  It is heart wrenching when I hear about this happening. I'm sure most of these kids grew up in homes where they felt like they were welcomed and loved, but then the minute they became true to themselves, the family said "oh no you don't!".

Even today, it is hard to believe I'm loved.  I have a partner and other wonderful people in my life, but since I don't feel as if I belong in my family, it affects every other part of my life.  You see, when you have severed that biological connection, it is like a baby without an umbilical cord in the womb.  Without the umbilical cord, the baby would die.  So it is when you don't have the biological connection to family, it is a struggle to function in life.

Now I'm not saying it can't be done, but it isn't easy.  I know many have told me that you can replace the biological family with one of your own and while this is true, it takes the courage and strength of a strong person.  If anyone has experienced this, they will know exactly what I mean and if you haven't had this experience, please understand that it is not easy.

Through all of this though, I still struggle hard to believe I'm loved.  It is like a malfunction in my brain that switches my perception off and leaves me feeling like no one loves me.  It has been a constant theme throughout my life and to this day, I still experience my moments of doubt and feeling alone.  It is very hard to believe I'm loved at times.

We need to make these statements that Dr. Brene Brown has stated, into action.  There should be no child told they don't belong and the actions of the parents should back this up.  If as a parent you can't do this, you have no business being a parent.  Children are far too precious to throw away when they don't measure up to our own expectations.  When we toss them aside, we show our own inability to be human.

Blog Post And Images (c) 3/24/13 by Don Shetterly

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