Use Your Ears To Help Humanity

Here's a simple truth that you can take to the bank.  Okay, maybe it won't have much value in the bank, but it will in humanity.  If you really want to help other people, make sure you listen twice as much as you talk to them.

We all have two ears and one mouth, but for some reason, we act as if we have two mouths and one ear.  If that sounds funny, it isn't meant to sound funny.  It is true if you watch the reactions of people to one another.

We are so eager to tell another person what they should do.  We are so eager to be an authority on something because of what we've been told.  We are so eager to make sure the world or social media knows how we think, lest anyone go astray.

Yet, if you really want to know the most helpful thing you can do for another, it isn't telling them what they should do!  It is being there for them without an agenda of any type.  It is being there and listening to them with both ears and an open heart.  It is shutting your mouth off long enough so you can hear them.

Belief and Superstition In Healing

Some days my heart aches as I see what people believe and what they base their beliefs upon in life.  Some I feel is belief that is grounded and all too often, some of it is superstition, for lack of a better word.  One will get you further in my opinion than the other.

When you have experiences and you see firsthand the effect or outcome of what transpires, it is easy to hold that belief as reality.  I have had many instances in my life where I know with a shadow of a doubt, that something is true.  It is true because I experienced it and can back it up in my body as a reproducible experience.

When others tell you something is true because they believe it to be true, too many times it is not grounded in true reality.  I'm not saying this is an absolute statement, but I see it more often then not.  It makes my heart weep especially when people are passing on superstition.

It takes much more for people to be grounded and out of that grounding, to share something that is truly life changing for others.  There are few that do this and too many follow the beliefs of superstition.

Peace On Earth Begins With Me

There have been many tragedies around the world and I don't see where they will let up anytime soon.  They seem to be increasing.  Some of them are natural disasters and some of them come from one enemy fighting another enemy.

As I have seen a discussion in the past few days turn from pure hatred towards those that killed innocent people to blaming politicians or guns or whatever the reason is just plain sad.  People love to boil everything down into one short and simple soundbite that is the sole reason of why things are happening that everyone can't stand.

The media loves to put a soundbite to a tragedy because then they can hook people into following their newscast.  The more people that follow, the more viewers they have and the more money they can make.  I get it.  Its an entertainment business and if you don't entertain people, they switch the channel.  It is one reason, we shut off cable.

Everyone wants to believe that peace on earth begins with other people.  Unfortunately that is not the case.  We are all adding to the problems of the world whether you believe it or not.

Embrace Being Grounded

Lately, it seems like it is an epidemic to either be living in fantasy or just not being grounded.  I see this constantly these days.  I realize to some people, I'm probably far out there at times, but what I am seeing lately is woo woo on steroids.

It is really sad in some ways.  I don't mind people being out there and embracing all that they pick up and sense and experience.  However, if you're not grounded, then chances are you are looking at stars and thinking they are the sun.

When people go to far out on the branch, not seeing that it is breaking off, then they make it hard for others who truly experience things in a grounded way. On the other hand, we have people who I respect like Neil deGrasse Tyson acting as if it doesn't fit into his scientific lab, then it is not real.  These are the extremes and neither is overly helpful.

We Take Things For Granted

We get so used to what we have.  We miss the big things.  We miss the little things.  People, places, and things are just there and so we take things for granted.  Everything becomes all too familiar, rather than unique and special.

Sometimes we are so inundated with everything coming our way in a day, we don't stop the time to see what is there.  We don't notice what someone special to us, does during the day.  We don't notice that special sound or sight or smell around us in the small moments.  All too often, we take things for granted.

When was the last time you said thank-you to someone close to you.  When was the last time you thanked a random stranger or gave them a smile.  When was the last time you let someone know how great of a job they did or just how much they mean to you.  All too often, we take things for granted.

Get Out Of The Situation

It's too easy to feel you're trapped.  It's too easy to feel like there are no options.  Often the thought of trying to get out of the situation brings on more fear than actually doing it.  I have experienced this firsthand many times in my life.

Sometimes to get out of the situation is the best thing you can do.  It is often the moment where you begin to see things differently in life.  I know it isn't easy.  I know the fears of how will I survive, how will I make it, where will my needs be met will surround you and attack from all fronts.

When you are in moments when you need to get out of the situation, do everything you can to prepare for it.  Sit down and focus on what is needed (if you have time to do this) and ask a trusted friend to allow you to bounce off ideas to them.  Embrace the ideas with action that are good and discard the ones that may not serve you well.

Follow And Believe Sniff Test

Have you ever seen those cartoon characters on TV that their head literally spins round and round?  Some days I feel like that when I see some of the things that people believe and follow.  I'm not here to say what is right or wrong, but I think we follow and believe things that just don't pass the sniff test.

So today, let's consider a few things that would be part of a sniff test.  Hopefully I can write this in a way that is enlightening and not threatening to people.  After all, most people hold their beliefs very close and dear to their heart.  If you challenge them on it, they feel like you are threatening to kill them.

#1 Sniff Test - Your Experience

The way I see this is, has this been your experience?  Do you have some personal narrative to back up what you follow and believe.   Is it just something you think may be possible or it sounds plausible?  If you experience something firsthand, then you know without a shadow of a doubt that it is true for you.  However, even though it is true for you, it may not be truth for everyone.

Something Changed

I can't put my finger on it.  I am not sure if I can even describe it.  I doubt I could give all the details and it would make sense.  However, something changed.  I can feel it, sense it and see it.

Its been a tough time of uncertainty and one challenge after another in my life lately.  I had a great time at a Film Festival and its the first time I've been out and around people in a few weeks.  After some challenging events, I just wanted to hide in my cave, but last night and today, I noticed that something changed.

Someone I had not heard from in a time, sent an email to me and it connects me back with something from many years ago.  It was interesting that just yesterday, before the email arrived, I was discussing a question with a friend in regards to this topic.  Its like the answer or one more piece of it is showing up.

Then I had felt stuck and not sure what was happening and there was all this uncertainty, but all of the sudden I got an email that connected to me with part of what I am trying to create.  It was a moment that was kind of like saying, "hey, I'm here - don't forget about me".

I'm Not Okay

All too many try to hide the difficulties they face in life.  I've done it and I know many that have been there in those same shoes.  In fact, I still do it at times.  To say, "I'm Not Okay" is a difficult thing to do.

There are many reasons we do this.  Some of it is what we were taught growing up.  Some of it is because of shame.  For guys, it is about having to be in control and not show weakness at any time.  In some cases, other people in our lives don't want to hear the difficulties we face because they are too uncomfortable around it.

One of the YouTube vloggers that I follow is in the following YouTube video.  In this video, Dan (Mallow610) talks about how he suffers with depression, anxiety and other mental health issues.

The YouTube video is very open and honest.  I am glad he found the courage to share this.  He is most definitely not alone even though it may feel like that at times.  Thanks Dan for sharing this!

Please watch his video:  I'm Not Okay

Giving Advice

I see it so much these days.  Everyone is an expert the minute someone says something online.  Everyone has to make sure the other person knows what they think they know.  Giving advice has become a plague in our online society.  It is a disease ridden concept that has everyone thinking they have the next best thing in the world.

Am I too harsh?  I don't think so.  I think the advice that isn't grounded and given freely without anyone knowing what is truly going on is DANGEROUS!  I mean, it is very DANGEROUS.  I repeated that in case it slipped your attention.

Even these feel good statements are as much of a problem as the advice because they simplify a person's problem in life down to a few words that are as cold as the north pole in the winter.  You may think that these statements offer support, but its like giving water to a drowning man.

What we need is far more people that listen and that are there for others.  What we need is far more people that will react and interact to others in a real way and in a human way.

Spank Those Kids!

I've about seen enough of this in the news lately.  People often say, "spanking worked on me" and "works on my kids".  Really.  I honestly want to understand how would you know if it worked because that was the only thing ever done to you.

Granted, before you huff and puff and try to blow my house down, let me tell you that I'm a little jaded on this subject.  I got spanked and whipped and beat.  In my eyes, its hard to see the difference.  While it might have worked on me to keep me in line, it allowed me to be brainwashed into doing and saying and thinking whatever my dad wanted out of me.

You might say, "well it wasn't all that bad".  I'd have to reply, "no - not if you think abuse and molestation was okay because I was too afraid to stand up to him".  You might say, "well, you are an exception".  Unfortunately I think that logic holds little water because I believe there are a whole lot of people out there like me.

The thing is, I truly think most parents over react or that is what I see as an outsider.  I see them trying to control every move that the kid makes.  If you're a parent, you might disagree but from the outside looking in, that's what it looks like.

Then, of course when the kid doesn't do what the parenting figure wants, they make sure that kid knows what is coming and then the kid feels it.  It is almost like the parent is on autopilot and unconsciously taking their stress and anger out on the kid.

You might be ready to tell me I'm stupid and I don't know what I'm talking about and that's okay with me.  I'm just trying to get people to think a little and open their eyes up a little because I don't think this love for "spanking" is as helpful as we all want to believe it is.

I've seen the damaging effects of parents gone too far, both in myself and in others.  My favorite example is when you see a parent hitting a kid because they hit someone.  Using the same thing you are telling them that is wrong to get them to know that it is wrong.  Where is the logic in that?

I wish parents would stop and slow down at times and de-stress themselves first, before striking (opps, I mean spanking) the kids.  I wish parents would count to 10 and calm themselves down before spanking the kids.  If you insist you must do it, at least get yourself out of the emotional state first.

There are far too many kids out there that have been damaged by parents thinking they were just disciplining them because that is what they got as kids from their parents.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see a continuation without much consciousness in this action.

Touch can lift our kids up and let them know we love them or it can destroy them.  It is up to each parent to choose which they do, but I think many parents out there need to take a chill pill.  We act like these kids today do things that we never did and yet, our parents probably said the same thing about us.  I know - I know - as we grow up, we tend to forget it.

I'm not going to tell you that spanking should not be done.  I can't say that.  I will tell you though, I believe there are other ways to interact with your kids and if you aren't actively learning those, then spanking isn't going to yield the positive result in my view.

This is just something to think about in hopes to raise the bar a little.  Its my view of course, but my view is based upon the abuse that I went through.  It has taken me forever to get beyond what was done to me and my body still feels it, even when I try to forget.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 11/8/15 by Don Shetterly

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Sixty Percent Taking Prescription Drugs

This statistic is shocking in some ways and in many ways it is not.  Nearly 60% of Americans take some type of prescription drugs.  This was according to a recently released study in the Journal Of American Medicine.  Now before you start hurling rocks at me and saying that your prescription drug is a necessity, let me say, "I understand".

Its fair to say that I've taken prescription drugs over the course of my life.  I wanted to be fair and say that up front.  I took stuff for stomach problems, allergies, migraine headaches, anxiety, and antidepressants.  So, before you throw the rocks at me, just realize where I was at during most of my life.

Today I take no medications.  I have a small bottle of Aleve that will last me for a long time.  Other than that, there is nothing I take on a daily basis. I rarely take Aleve and generally only when I've been traveling and need to be at my peak or I've overdone it with yardwork and hurt like there is no tomorrow.

I have found ways to deal with the physical situations that were arising in my life that caused me to take medications.  I know that the tests and medical community convince us that we need all these drugs, but for the most part, I don't agree.  Of course, do what you need to do for yourself and don't take this as medical advice.

Dairy Free Cream Of Chicken Soup

So today, I was making one of our favorite dishes and of course, the one ingredient I really need, I can't find.  Sure, I know the store sells Cream Of Chicken Soup, but everything we could find had onion and garlic in it (along with many other things I don't want).  Onion and garlic make me sick.  End of story.

I mean we looked all over in the area we live and every blasted food processor thinks that if it doesn't have onion and garlic in it, it ain't soup!   Ridiculous!   For someone that gets sick on onion and garlic, they are no friend of mine!

Anyway, I went searching and found a great recipe for this on MyWiseMom.com for a homemade, dairy free, cream of chicken soup.  I love that it is dairy free.  Now, you're talking my talk!

I made the soup tonight for the dish and it was so easy to make.  It tasted so good.  The only thing is, I poured a little too much spice in and well, that wasn't so good.  Next time, I'll cut back on them.

I'm Picky About Music

This is one thing I am very picky about in life.  My ears hear music in a different way than most because I think I FEEL the music, more than I hear it.  I'm extremely picky about the music I listen to and it either hits me instantly or it gets discarded in my mind.

I was watching a show on TV the other night and I exclaimed "that is some awesome music".  Of course, it dawned on me that it was from a couple of decades ago where they actually did music with live instruments and not electronically created sounds of live instruments.  It was an aha moment for me.

There is a big difference and I know that in today's world, electronically generated music is the norm.  However, most of the time it doesn't feel right.  It doesn't move me like the stuff made with actual instruments.  I can feel the difference.

Instrumental music has so much depth to it and the sound crosses so many spectrums.  Electronically generated music is a sound, not necessarily a depth filled musical note.

I'm sure many will disagree with me because that is what everyone has become accustomed to in making music and listening to music.  Yet, I know that the music that really moves me is the one where live instruments harmonize together.

Not All Smoothies Are Equal

Some days I read stuff that comes through my social media feed and I do the eye roll.  Recently I read a post about using all kinds of different ingredients in your smoothies that I would really question.  Of course, it didn't take me long to see what company "was pushing" their products in the smoothies.

Maybe the ideas that these people are pushing have merit.  Unfortunately, if you started asking them questions about what each particular thing did and why they included it, I've got a feeling the answers would be shallow at best.  On top of that, I'm not so sure some of these things put in a blender and blended at high speed is necessarily a good thing.

On top of that, I saw "frozen fruit" or other similar types of ingredients being put into the blender.  Okay, if you just want to have something that tastes good, go ahead.  If you want your smoothie for healing abilities and nutrition, then it isn't the best thing.  Freezing foods changes and alters the chemical structure.

Biggest Critic In Your Life

I love how real Brene Brown is.  When I see these lectures, I can't help but want to jump up on the stage with her and give her a big hug.  She is so real and down to earth and saying the things that I believe most of us need to hear.

In this latest video I found, she talks about "Why Your Critics Aren't The Ones That Count".  Oh boy, now that is a big topic with a lot of steam in the kettle.

One of the quotes that I so love that Brene Brown makes in this video is "If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I don't want your feedback."

Another great quote in this video is "What would have happened if you would shown up?"

It really makes me think because I know I hold back in life for what others might think, say, or do.  I compare myself to others and do exactly as what she was talking about in her speech.  I see it as others are doing this, so what makes me special".

An Epic Vacation

After three years without without any time off, we finally took a trip to the Mountains of NC.  It was a long awaited vacation that I was so anxious to take.  Since we had accommodations already booked, we could not change our plans without losing money.  Unfortunately a day before the vacation, the weather forecast began showing more days of rain.

Almost every hour of the day we were up there in the mountains, it rained.  There were a few brief breaks in the weather, but for the most part, it rained.  I had hoped to get more pictures and video and just do some hiking.  Mother nature had other plans.

The first day while we sat in the parking lot of a mall waiting for the rain to stop, my friend bent his glasses and I found out my credit card had fraudulent charges showing up so it had to be canceled.  This was one of the main cards I use which meant that every automatic billing that went against it was going to get declined.  Trying to update stuff with barely no working internet was fun and some places were not very helpful.  These events began our time in the mountains.

How We Treat Other People

When did we get to the point that we became snobs with one another.  You know, the point where we damn everyone else with their point of view and push our view only.  You know, the point where if you don't believe the way we do, then you are wrong?

Exactly how does that make us human?  How does that promote a higher level of consciousness if we're against everyone and everything they believe.  It's really sad in many ways for our society to practice this with gusto.

I grew up in a home and a church where you believed everything and anything that was told to you regardless if it was right or wrong or it fit or it made sense.  It didn't matter what you thought.  The only thing that mattered is what those in authority said was true.

These days we force everyone to follow our political beliefs and our religious beliefs.  If you don't, you are considered to be less than or wrong or some label placed upon you.  It doesn't matter if you are conservative or liberal.  It doesn't matter if you are religious or not.  It doesn't matter if you are of the new age philosophy or not.

A Molester Forgets

I keep one eye on the monsters that did horrible things to me.  Seeing some of what they tell others is almost unbelievable to me.  After all, it is like they view others that do what they did as some horrible evil, but they excuse themselves.  It is like the molester forgets and wipes their slate clean.

Now, I'm not saying that they have to remember what they did every day and moment of their life.  Forgetting it is rather a hard pill for me to swallow.  I wish I could have seen them locked up for what they did to me (and others), but the statute of limitations didn't allow for that.  They got to live a free life after subjecting my life to an imprisoned hell.

Is it common for a molester to forget what they did?  Do they just become so numb to the horror they inflicted?  Maybe they can't live with themselves and so they live a fantasy life that has no resemblance to reality.

Back To The Future Teaches Us

I loved this movie, yet I'm so tired of the fantasy world that everyone tries to mold into reality.  It was a movie.  Yet, too many are making it as if it was real life predictions.  Maybe I"m just different than most, but again, it was just a movie.  I doubt the writers set out to accurately predict what life would be like in the future.

The more important thing I saw in this was how their life and the events depicted in the movie were not all about politics 100% of the time like today.  I believe they made reference to Ronald Regan being president, but that was about all I can remember.

I bring this up, because today everything we see, hear, and do is about politics.  We have become so one dimensional in life, that we are missing life.  We can't see the forest for the tree.

Hopefully at one point, this world will go back to what matters and it isn't politics.  I doubt if you're in the last few moments of your life, you will be worrying about the latest political story of the day or who is winning or losing.  Most likely you'll discover what truly matters.

The Game of Social Media Likes

Some days I just shake my head in disbelief.  The communication we now employ among others in our civilization is not really communication.  It is a fake put on smile.  It is a fake series of keystrokes designed to make everyone believe it is useful and valid.

It is a game of social media likes.  It is a game of making people think that somehow a "like" or a "share" on Facebook equates with communication, caring, and support.  Sure, maybe I'm being a little harsh on this, but it sure feels this way at times.

Of course Facebook does its best to promote this practice, because the more each user comes back to their Facebook page, the more valuable they are to Facebook.  There is a reason why it is set up this way and the "like" button feeds into that process.

Brene Brown on Empathy

Oh I so love this.  So true.   The most healing moments of support I have had is when I knew the person was there for me and not there to just help me bypass what I was learning in life.

I could write so much on this, but I can't stand the "empty phrases".  I always feel like I've been kicked in the gut when I hear them.  She articulated this so well.  I so love Brene Brown.  One of my favorites.

YouTube Video:  Brene Brown On Empathy

Truth Within

These days, everyone seems to want to believe what someone or some product says.  It is like a media person holds truth or a product holds truth or a belief system holds truth.  However, within each person, product, or belief system, there are parts that are truth and there are parts that are not.

Truth within a person, product, or belief is the gem.  It is the diamond in the coal.  It is what we should be seeking after.  We hold others up so high on a pedestal that we cannot even see who they are.  We don't even acknowledge we do this - and yet we do.

Growing up in a church, I always heard the minister say we should put no minister or person on a pedestal.  It sounded good, but in all reality, it never happened.  Everyone thought the minister or priest had all the answers and more often than not, they didn't.  No one could accept that the minister (ordained by God) would not have the answer they needed.

Opposing Abundance Activities

Some days you just look at yourself and wonder why you work so hard against yourself.  Okay, maybe you don't, but I do.  Actually I suspect we all do this in some form or fashion.  For me, I realized that I'm doing activities that oppose each other and still wonder why I'm struggling with abundance.

Here is what I do and it doesn't just apply to the Unlimited Abundance Program I'm taking right now.  It applies to many things in my life.

As I'm looking at what I had saved up before I quit my job, my only thought is how long before the money runs out.  Of course, it is a wise and prudent action to be monitoring how much money is my bank account, but that is not what I'm talking about here.

I tend to look at things as doom and gloom as if when the money runs out, there will be no more.  There will be no actions to change it and nothing I can do about it.  I see it as oh no, I'm going to run out.  I'm doomed.  It will be gone and that is that.

Oprah 200 Male Survivors 5 years later

Its hard to believe it has been that long.  Five years since we were chosen to be part of one of Oprah's last episodes.  It was the two part episode on male survivors.  I still remember it like it was yesterday.  I still remember it as if I was overtaken by a flood of emotions.

Sitting in that room with 200 other male survivors was an experience unlike any other I have had in life.  I so remember the early days of my recovery when I didn't think anyone else existed and I was all alone.  I remember meeting the first male survivor back in the late 1990's and it helped change my life and helped me recover.

No longer do I worry about the effects of what happened to me.  I know them all too well.  What I am focused on these days are how I continue to move forward and drop ever last single bit of what happened to me.  It isn't easy.  Yes, I can put on a happy face and act like the remnants are no longer there, but then I wouldn't be very honest.

Unlimited Abundance Works

For a long time, I have been searching and learning.  Abundance was not part of my life and I struggled through every step.  I thought that I was doomed for all eternity and life was going to be nothing but a struggle.  Most people who know me, realize that I'm talented and skilled, but it never seemed like I could connect that with the unlimited abundance flow in my life.

After reading several books and trying to follow the advice of different people, I was burned out on abundance programs.  Nothing seemed to work and I only felt worse after trying and failing once again.  Feel free to read what I have written on My Unlimited Abundance History in an earlier blog post.

A few years ago I tried the home study program with Unlimited Abundance.  Of course, this was after I was very critical of the entire program.  I wrote some things that were honest, but very harsh and not really fair to Christie Marie Sheldon.  It took me a little time, but I started to see some results and a shift in my life.  It wasn't a big shift, but a minor one.

My Flu Shot

I know, I know, not everyone will agree with me on this.  Some will think it is hogwash.  Some will think it is too simple.  Yet, some will think it is all just hocus pocus new age mumble jumble.  Yet, my flu shot doesn't come in a syringe.  Its something I do daily.

My daily flu shot is a whole food smoothie.  Please don't get this mixed up with juicing or green drinks or ice cream smoothies.  This is a WHOLE FOOD smoothie.  I've written about this at other times on this blog, but since 2009 we have been doing these every day.

The one thing I really notice about whole food smoothies is how it helps digestion.  If we want to get more graphic, it helps bowel elimination. At a time when constipation and poor bowel movements seem to be epidemic, this greatly enhances it.  There is nothing like good and healthy elimination to really keep you feeling better.  Hopefully, you're not too embarrassed because this is something we should be able to talk about among humans.

Challenge Your Healing Paradigm

One thing I'll never understand about humans is how they think.  Sometimes I actually think humans don't think.  They just follow along with what they were taught and saw practiced.  Sure, everyone wants to act like they are free-thinkers and not following a script they were taught but the evidence does not support that theory.

Unfortunately, I don't think we see things as clearly as we do.  We see things through all the mirrors of our life's experiences, family teachings, filters, and what society expects of us.  We don't necessarily see things the way we think we do.  Society is far to quick to squash those that do and we are far too quick to succumb to it as humans.   There is power in the masses following the same plot line.  There is fear in the masses doing what they think is best for themselves.

Many years ago when I was paralyzed from Conversion Disorder, none of the medical staff could tell me what I needed to do to heal myself.  They did little things but I think they resigned themselves to the fact that I might have been in this situation for the rest of my life.  It wasn't easy to go through this and finding my way to healing was much more difficult than the paralysis. I literally had to follow my own courage in what step to take next even though I had no clue at the time.

Secret Children by Rick Belden

This poem by Rick Belden is a very powerful poem.  It is titled Secret Children.  When Rick reads it, the full effect comes alive. 

Rick Belden is a fellow survivor of child abuse and works to help others find their way in healing their lives.

The poem will grab at your heart and it should.  It should make everyone that hears it, wake up a little more.  We need to protect our children.  We need to take care of our children.

Thank you Rick for sharing this video of your poem.

YouTube Video:  Secret Children