Be A Positive Force In This World

Written By Don Shetterly

My heart is sad when it comes to the events going on across our country and the world.  This is not about politics, and if you think it is, you're sorely mistaken.  If you know me at all, you know that I do not subscribe to what the masses say on any level.

I see people that are so angry and so hurt.  I see people that are asleep and numb and disconnected.  I see individuals who view others as the enemy, not as humans walking this same planet.  It pains me.  It hurts me.  I weep, and yet my tears do no good.

There is far too much hate and too little love.  There is far too much judgment and too little understanding.  We stand opposed, rather than united to journey through our lives to discover more about who we are.

I'm perplexed because everyone points the fingers at each other.  We exclaim that we know what is best and all others are stupid, dumb, or irrelevant.  We fail to listen to each other while we scream how worthless all others are.

We hold out to the world just how enlightened we are and righteous and good.  We hold out to the world that we are superior and we know all.  We hold out to the world we are peace loving and conscious.  Yet, our actions contradict our every word.

If We Do Not Find Peace Within...

If we do not find peace within ourselves, we will not find it throughout the world.  If we do not learn to accept ourselves, the world will never accept us.  If we see others as stupid or idiotic or misguided and wrong, the rest of the world will see us in that way.

It does not matter what the world proclaims.  It matters more what you feel and think and believe on the inside.  If you want peace, it must first begin within you.  If you want love throughout the world, it must first begin within you.  If you want others to accept you as a valid human, you must first accept others in the same way.

We're at a crossroads I believe in humanity and either we keep heading down into the darkness of the world where there is no peace, or we rise above it all.  It is solely up to each one of us, but it isn't just words.  It is action that backs up our words.  It is action that shows what truly is in our mind, body, soul, and heart.

Let us be a force for positive change by changing our lives in a way that shows what love and peace are to the world.  This blog post is about taking a hard look at who we are as individuals and seeing what role we truly play in the world.

I implore you.  I beg you as the reader to help make a positive difference through taking stock of your own life.  I'm attempting to do the same.  Together we will make it further in this harsh world, rather than divided where we will not stand.

Let's stop pointing the fingers.  Let's cease to be part of the cycle of hate.  Instead, let our lives show love so brightly that it will take over the darkness.

I love this video because I believe it says so much.  It is Matisyahu singing and performing "One Day."  The words speak volumes.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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We Help Through Our Own Vulnerability

In my many years of healing, I have found that we often hold back far too much.  We are afraid what others might think or scared of how we will impact them.  We walk on eggshells around them.  We hold back.

Yet, it is through our own vulnerability that we meet others where they are and we help them.  By sharing our pains and struggles, they find that they are not alone.  Together we accomplish much more healing than if we would have hidden inside our own cave, keeping vulnerability out of sight.

I do realize that it isn't easy being vulnerable and sharing, but I know from firsthand experience that it is crucial to helping others.  No one wants a scientific emotionless person there to be a sounding board.

You want someone that has walked through the fire.  You want someone to grab your hand and say, I'm here for you and I'll walk through the fire with you.  Together, we will make it.

They say it not as mere words, but as someone that has been there and fought every inch of the way to find their footing and existence in life.  They say it as an extension of their heart that they give without judgment, in pure love and compassion to say - I'm here for you.

I had many that were there for me, some in deeper ways than others.  Since others have been there for me, I try to be there for people who are needing help, support, or just someone that understands.

In this day and age, we've got too many people hurling insults at one another, but not enough that will say "I understand your pain.  I understand your struggle.  I've been there." We need more people to be there for one another, not stand opposed as is seen on every street corner of this world.

I share my struggle in this blog.  I share my struggle with those who know me personally.  I am often criticized for not "moving beyond" or "not being positive".  Yet, I know that many have shared with me how something has touched their lives.  They were impacted positively because they knew that someone understood and cared.

Sharing my struggle is my truth.  Quoting other people is their truth.  Coming up with my own set of beliefs to explain every mystery is not necessarily a valuable thing.  It can help, but more often than not, the beliefs hinder and blind us.

I don't plan on changing how I do things because I know that we help others through our own vulnerability.  When others are able to connect with us in those deep ways, their lives are transformed.  Often times, my own life is transformed as well.

Let's not hold back being human.  Let's not numb and disconnect into a positive and happy thought only reality.  Let's be real and authentic and through our vulnerability, let's show that to those who need a helping hand, a moment of support and understanding, or an extra ounce of love to know that they matter.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Asleep and Numb by Happy Thoughts

At one time in my life, everyone thought I had it all together.  I learned from my Mom, who always put the happy smile on in life.  Even if she was sick as could be, she would not let anyone know it.  I did the same.

I constantly immersed myself with happy thoughts and portrayed a "false reality" to the world.  My friends just thought I had it all together and were shocked when I ended up in the hospital with Conversion Disorder.  I still remember them pointing this out to me.

There is nothing wrong with happy thoughts or inspirational messages.  We all need them and they can lift us up sometimes.  Affirmations can help us focus.  However, they should not take over for the reality we project to the world.  Unfortunately that happens all the time in our lives, and especially on social media.

In this example from the blog post on June 13, 2017, Mirabel does what I used to do.  So she only shows the happy smile and shares the happy thought online, avoiding anything and everything that is hard for her to deal with in her life.  Unfortunately Mirabel doesn't realize just how asleep she is.

No, not everyone wants to see our doom and gloom.  Yet if we show the real side of our lives, others can more readily connect with us.  They can learn from us and often help provide support for us.  Together, we can do much more when we are real, not when we are fake.

I constantly see people putting down and belittling others for not being 100% positive all the time, and I weep for them.  That is not being human.  That is being unreal and disconnected and asleep.  It is numbing yourself to what your life is.  There is no way to move forward if you are numb.

Show the happy smile, but also show how you're climbing up out of the depths of despair.  Show the happy smile, but be real and authentic with people.  No one enjoys being around someone that lies to them or paints an inaccurate picture.

Yes, it takes courage to not just be numb and asleep when it comes to how we feel and what is going on in life.  It takes vulnerability, like what Brene Brown talks about.  Through moments of being real, we often lift ourselves and others up to a stronger and more powerful vantage point.

The world needs real people.  The world does not need fake pasted on smiles.  There is far too much of that on our planet today that is taking us over the cliff.  May we awaken from our sleep and realize this before we've gone past the point of no return.

Make sure you check out the first part in this 11 part series

 Part 1 is "Are You Asleep"

 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Can You Be Authentic And Positive?

I see a lot of people preach happy thoughts.  Now I'm going to qualify that and say there is nothing wrong with happy thoughts.  However, here's the big "but" of this concept.  Can you be authentic and positive?

No, I'm not saying do you think you are authentic when you show your happy face and positive life to the world.  I'm asking if you are truly authentic.  Before you answer, "well of course I am," let me make a request.  Read through this entire post.

You see, I've got personal experience with this.  Growing up, my life was one miserable crap day after another.  I was beaten, molested, mind controlled and brainwashed on a daily basis from the time I was a baby until I went to college.  It was nothing easy that I went through.  It was pretty darn intense and I still to this day wonder how I survived.

The good thing is that I did survive and heal so much in my life up to this point, including Conversion Disorder.

But, here's the kicker...

Everyone that knew me thought I was one of the happiest-go-lucky kids there was.  I was always smiling.  I was always positive.  I never shared any of what was happening in my life because if I did, that could mean the ultimate ending punishment. 

No one thought I had a care in the world.  They thought things came easy to me.  Many were jealous.  Yet, they didn't see within the doors to my life.  They didn't know I was being horrendously abused every day.  I kept that in.  The smile is all they saw.

Sure, many don't like to hear the gory details of what I have went through.  In fact, most have never heard the whole story because I doubt many people could get through the first page of what I went through.  It is just too much and too intense for most.  You lose people quickly when they read or hear it.

Yes, I see through them...

The first thing I usually get though when I share stuff, is they look to some meme or happy thought or feel good practice.  Their uncomfortable - I get that.  Yet, most of the time it doesn't do much for me other than just know it was too much for them.  I see through the words that are spoken and written.  Yes, I see through them.

When I came out of the hospital from being paralyzed and going through the Conversion Disorder (and almost losing my life), my friends were shocked when they found out.  I still remember them saying, "you - you're the one out of our close group that had it all together it seemed".  Yep, I was pretty good and fooling everyone in life including myself.

I was living a lie...

I was positive, but at the expense of my own life.  I was on my last breaths in the hospital.  They were trying to bring me back to life.  The positive almost took me under.  Yet, I was not being authentic.  I was living a lie.

Most people I have ever seen live in numbness.  The numbness takes away their authenticity.  No, I'm not saying what most people do is necessarily wrong, they just haven't found the way out.  The positive "SOMETIMES" can cover up the pain inside.  Sometimes it is a way of standing strong in spite of all that has happened to them.  I get it.  I've been there.

It is when you decide to make a different choice and learn how to be authentic that your life changes.  Awareness has fertile grounds to grow and the more aware you become, the more conscious you are.  It is a choice.  We make it every day whether we realize it or not.

Being positive can help...

Yes, you can be positive and yes, it can be a very good thing.  In fact, being positive can really help you through some of those rough and difficult moments.  Just don't stay in the numbness where the positive acts as a wall between you and your authentic self.  We as humans and trauma abuse survivors are pretty good at covering up things by any and all means necessary. It's called trying to deal with the stuff that happened when it is anything but normal.

If you tell me that you are positive and authentic, I'll probably roll my eyes a little.  The reason is - it is a daily process and if you think you've reached the ultimate point, open your eyes and look a little further.  You'll see there is much more than this one moment you've achieved.

I'm pushing and challenging...

Yes, I'm pushing and challenging with these words, but it is the number one social media pain killer that I see.  Everything has to be so positive that people give up their authenticity.  People suffering need to know you understand what it means to walk through the fire with them, not that you will just try to turn the fire hose on the ashes.

So, are you positive and authentic or is your positiveness masking and numbing pain you wish to not see.  It is okay either way because it is the choice you're making in the moment.  Just don't let that choice stop your further development, awareness and healing.  There's more out there.  Keep grasping and reaching for it!  See if there are other choices that you can make.  Explore them!

Yes, it is possible to be positive and authentic, but...  I think we often live the illusion that we are.  We need more authentic people in this world.  We need those that have truly woken up, not just reciting the rhetoric in social media.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Do You Live A Conscious Life?

It is easy to go through our day on autopilot.  The experiences we've endured along with the uncompleted tasks of our day can often keep us from living a conscious a life.

Do you truly live a conscious life or is it an illusion that you do?  It is easy to convince our self that we do and it is easy to attempt to convince others that we do, but do we truly live a conscious life?

Being conscious means that we feel and sense all that is around us.  Being conscious means that we are aware of what is going on and how we are impacting the world whether it is in a negative or positive way.  It means that we go through life knowing the much greater picture of who we are and why we are on this earth.

Being conscious means that we see each other through the eyes of love, not of judgment and jealousy.  Being conscious means that we know there is a higher good for all, even for those that sometimes challenge us in our day.

Feel the pains and the joys...

Being conscious means that we feel the pains in life, but we also know that by surrendering into the difficulties, we experience the joys.  We know that life is a balance, not just the happy and good, but the moments of sadness and pain.

In order to be conscious, we become aware of all that is around us, all that we know or do not know as of this point, and what the potential there is in life.  Our consciousness is not one with limits and boundaries, but with hope and possibility while understanding the limitations of being human.

Does not hold on to fears...

In order to be conscious, we have a higher vibration that does not hold on to all the fears found on this earth.  Whether it be the latest news and political report or the collective unconsciousness of the latest headline, the conscious vibration does not get taken under by these things.

Consciousness goes hand in hand with a balanced nervous system that has found elasticity to be its friend.  It knows that through all the heartache, there is a knowing of things much greater than the average person often sees.  It knows there is a place of peace and joy and no matter what hits us, it can be reminded that these things exist - that there is a way back to peace and joy.

Consciousness is not something you proclaim.  It is a life that strives for more and tries to understand more.  It is a life that wants to have a greater positive impact in the world, but realizes there is much pain and strife.  Consciousness is something that helps you rise above all that exists in this life, rather than becoming one with the masses.

Embraces all things...

Consciousness does not hold on to the followings and teachings of others, but it strives to prove to itself that which is truth in life.  For it knows that even what people believe to be true, is not necessarily truth.  It may be nothing more than a collective consciousness of group thought.  For consciousness, there is a willingness to allow one's self to go in and touch their own sorrow so that they may truly come to know in a physical way what is real and what is not.

Consciousness embraces all things and seeks to understand all things.  Consciousness works to be better and more enlightened today than it was yesterday.  Consciousness works at being okay with the ugly parts without judgment so that it can soar to greater heights in the days ahead.

No matter where we are on the spectrum of consciousness, there is always room for more.  It is in how we allow ourselves to travel forward that we either hinder or help our own lives become more than they are today.  Hiding our head in the sand and proclaiming we are conscious has no bearing on how truly conscious we are.

Consciousness means balance in all things - the good, the bad, and the inbetween where it rises above all things as an observer, not just as a participant.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Is What We Share Making A Positive Difference

All too often we just post and share and like things online that really have no benefit to society or the world.  We don't stop and question what we do, we just do it.  We don't question our actions or motives, we just do it.  It is called being numb and disconnected in life.

The question we should be asking in our day is what we share, like, forward and put out into the universe - is it making a positive difference?  Does it help advance society and our civilization?  Does it help support and lift one another up or does it tear us down?

The question we should be asking is how do our actions support that which is good for this society and civilization?  Do our actions support that which is good and healing and supportive for the world, or do they just sow discord, pain, and contempt for one another?  Do our actions show what is in our heart and is what we say is in our heart, what truly shows up?

It's easy to be a rabble rouser...

It is too easy to just be a rabble rouser and scream with the masses.  It is too easy to just claim the woe is me story and demand attention.  It is too easy to not see the bigger picture and connect your mind and body together as one.

We can spew the memes and happy thoughts all day long, but if we can't show the love we proclaim, we are nothing more than a clanging cymbal.  We can stand on the street corners and pray to the heavens, but if all that comes out of our mouths is hatred, we have missed why we are praying in the first place.

We can continue unconsciously...

We can continue in our life unconsciously as if we just consume whatever is fed to us through the media and online venues or we can actually become conscious and begin to see life.  We can embrace all that is before us or find ways to stand opposed with weapons firing.

It is not up to everyone else to be a conscious individual and human.  It is not up to some government leader or politician to do what we cannot do for ourselves.  It is up to each one of us to live our life with the highest intention and good so that we lift one another up, not tear each other down.

In this country and throughout the world, there is far too much spewed in a day that does absolutely nothing good for all mankind.  We may think it does and in fact, the actions we portray may prove this, but in our hearts we have found darkness.

It is not all those out there that are the problem.  It is each one of us.  It is each one of us that harbors the pain and past experiences in our own life who have been tricked into believing the lies each one tells themselves daily.

It is each person individually that impacts the world.  Each day we are either building up and supporting one another or we are adding to the problems of this world. It is our choice what we do and what actions we take if we truly make this world a better place or we add to its problems.

The choice and actions start within us.  If you're looking to those outside of yourself to do this, you have missed the point of being human.  For when you listen to everyone but yourself, it is then that you are no longer a human living in a human body but one that is disconnected and numbed from what life truly is.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Embrace The Negative

I see people time and time again only focusing on the positive.  They only embrace the positive.  They only invite the positive into their life.  While there are good reasons for that, you're only grabbing half of life or healing or whatever the issue may be.

I know, you're probably ready to click off of here and say, "he doesn't have a clue what he is saying in this blog," but hopefully you will hear me out. I think it is an important part of life that many miss out on, especially those in healing.

No, I'm not talking about hanging around with doom and gloom people all day life.  I'm not talking about immersing yourself in the negativity.  I'm talking more about moderation and a shift in awareness and consciousness on negative people and thoughts.  I know that if you hang around this stuff, it can really bring you down.

Unfortunately, it isn't so much about the other person being negative as it is what the negative part brings up in each one of us.  Think of it as your teacher because it is showing you something that you are mirroring out and reflecting to the world.  Yes, I'm sure that is not easy to read, but it is true.  Its part of our human experience.  It is part of living in a human body.

If you only focus on the positive, you're exhausting so much energy to keep the negative away from you.  By doing this, you are giving power to the negative and actually attracting the negative, rather than seeing what it is in the negative that is there to teach you.

When you embrace the negative, you take the power back.  You take control and harness the energy because now, you have the ability to conquer it or learn from it.  Maybe it is a stepping stone to something more in your life.

Focusing only on the positive means that you're giving up half of your existence and your continued growth.  It means you're not seeing the whole picture.  It means that you're locked in a pattern of consciousness and awareness that will limit you, rather than free you.

Most of the time, humans do not want to be around the negative because it is like asking a person who is carrying a lot of luggage to carry also carry a 50 lb weight.  Instead of being upset with the extra 50 pound weight, we need to learn how to let go of the luggage we carry.  If we do this, we will be further ahead.

Being human in a human body is a learning curve.  It is a process.  It does include embracing the negative along with the positive to find balance in our life.  Do it in moderation and you will be surprised at just how much power you reclaim.  Use the negative as a teacher and soon you will move to the head of the class.

Here is some interesting information from 2009 on negative or positive thinking.

Question of the Day
Do you try to embrace positive thinking in your life or do you struggle with negativity?  What are your thoughts on the subject.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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How Do You Impact The World?

What can we do today that impacts the world in a positive way?  I don't mean, how can we tear each other apart.  I don't mean, how can we judge one another.

I really want to encourage everyone to consider ways that they can positively impact the world around them.  I believe that one person does and can make a difference.

These days, there is far too much fighting and screaming at one another.  These days, there is far too much horror and hatred being inflicted upon one another.

It isn't all the other guys that do it.  It isn't just those that disagree with us that rip and shred the fabric of society apart day by day.

It is in the comments we leave on websites tearing down those that dare to disagree with us.  It is in the political rallies where we punch and scream and shout at one another as if we are somehow better than the other.

It is in the posts we share on Facebook and Twitter and throughout the social media land. It is how we address one another or scowl at one another.  It is how we treat others with respect or disrespect.

There are many ways that we impact the world and if we search deep within us, we will know the truth of what we put out into the world.  It is up to each one of us to do some soul searching because the world needs us to come together as one, not pit one against the other.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Endorsements and Affiliates

There is far too much online that is just about getting rich.  We all know it and we all see it.  I would estimate that at least 80% of it is not worth your time to read, be involved with or get interested enough to inquire about the place.  Yet, it doesn't stop everyone from lapping up the milk bowl of affiliates and endorsements and reviews.

Over the years, I have been asked to endorse and become an affiliate with every product under the sun.  Yes, I know I get a high volume of views on this blog, but the views are because I have integrity and I write about things from my heart that matter.  If it was just about being an affiliate, this blog would be nothing more than what everyone else does.

I've had so many people want me to endorse their book, their product, their website, their idea and I'm sorry, but so many of them just don't rise to the level they need to for me to be come interested enough to do this.  Most of the time I have passed.

Gratitude List 2.0 Upgrade

For years on this blog, I've been talking about doing something that is so simple.  In fact, if you go back to 2009, you will see a blog post I wrote on "The Gratitude Jar".  At the time, I was using that extensively and it really helped me focus throughout my day on gratitude.  Generally speaking, if we are not looking and not aware of moments of gratitude, they will slip by our attention without even noticing them.

As time has shifted and changed for me, I sort of lost track of doing the gratitude jar or a gratitude list.  I thought I had come to the point where I was seeing it throughout my day.  While it would be safe to say that I was, there are times that I am still missing that which is around me.  As humans, it is very easy to miss the obvious, even if it is staring us in the eyes.

Now, I've started to do something different on gratitude.  Instead of just making a list at the end of my day of things I am grateful for, I am enhancing it.  You could say it is the Gratitude List 2.0 Upgrade and download.  However, it is what is currently speaking to my heart and I'm following the intention of it to more clearly focus my life.

It Isn't The Outrageous Shows

All too often, people of this country (and maybe other countries) get caught up in what the news pundits and media are up in arms about.  Yes, I know the goofballs out there tend to hype up everything and anything.  They scream, rant, rave, and ridicule so people will tune in and listen to them.  They make themselves look goofy, while trying to act as if they have something to say.

Unfortunately, it isn't the outrageous shows that cause the problems in our country or throughout the world.  Yes, they add to the problem, but there is a little known fact that too many people overlook.  If these people did not have an audience, they wouldn't be making millions yapping their gums every day.  Think about that for a minute.  It may sound harsh, but it is true.  See, in order for these goofballs to spew the hatred and outrageous statements that they do, they need an audience of willing participants.  Sure, I know - everyone believes that to be informed, you have to tune into these nut jobs, but in all reality - YOU DON'T!

People Are Too Quick To Criticize

One of the plagues upon our civilization is how we treat each other as humans.  We spend way to much time tearing each other down, than we do building them up.  People are too quick to criticize each other, rather than finding the good in one another.  The positive things in others is always there, even if we have to unearth a couple of rocks to find it.

When we focus more on tearing each other apart and being quick to criticize, we are really degrading ourselves as humans.  It is a strong reflection upon how we view our own life and so the problem does not lie within others, but it is completely at our feet.  We are the masters of how we view our life and those around us.  It is not something that is wrong with everyone else, but where we fall deficient in our own life.

Lately, I've had experiences where I did worthwhile and creative projects only to be dished by criticism.  While I try hard to not do it for what others think of me or what they think of the project, I would be lying if I said that their feedback didn't impact me.  Maybe it is due to my own struggle with self confidence, but if you create something and no one cares, I have to wonder if it truly matters.  Most likely it does matter, but never-the-less, it is difficult when you get no positive feedback from your creativity.

Self Confidence And Negative Chatter

Far too many of us are excellent when it comes to tearing our self down.  It is much harder it seems for many people to focus on their good qualities.  We all have them.  There are things about each one of us that makes each of us special.

Unfortunately throughout our life, we listened to people who did not have our best interests at heart.  They may have told us how worthless or stupid or dumb we were.  Some of these people may have beaten us for not obtaining perfection as small children.  Love or affection might have been withheld if we did not perform to a level of satisfaction for those around us.

We've all got our stories and our experiences.  I'm sure any one of us could name them off in a list without taking too much effort.  It is sad that we endured these experiences, but it is even more sad that we have carried this baggage into our adult life.  I'm not saying it is easy to let go of the baggage, but we need to see it for what it is.

A hypnotherapy CD by Steven Bayner that I am listening to on self confidence talks about creating a list of our good qualities and then reviewing it.  It isn't a bad idea.  After all, we listen to so much negative chatter in our mind every day that doing something positive for our brain is like a gift from heaven.

You Should Do This

You Should Do This

One thing I find very peculiar about humans is how we think we know what is best for others and we determine it is our life's purpose to strongly let them know.  It is as if we have determined that the only thing which matters in life is to make sure they know what we think is right for their life.  Perhaps, no one even realizes just how prevalent this is and how willing of a participant we are in this scheme.  Please understand that I am not lightly suggesting an alternative to someone.

The other day I was taking a class and we were sharing as a group a little about our self.  Each person was asked to share something personal that we would not normally share.  It was designed to give of our self in a trusting manner.  The goal was for us to be real, and help others to see an authentic side of our life that maybe they could identify and learn from.  Needless to say, it was not all that easy to do and with the group being strangers, there were much needed boundaries in place.  Yet, through the exercise, we all grew pretty close together in a very short time.

Unfortunately, in this exercise, there were people that felt it was necessary to make sure those that were sharing, knew what it was that they needed to do in order to better their life.  Some of the participants were not timid in telling them what they should do and what they should not do regarding various situations.  Some were forcefully telling other participants, don't do this or don't do that.  To be very honest, it really began taking away from the moment.

Why The Charlie Sheen Roast Isn't Well Done!

Charlie Sheen Roast 9/19/11
on Comedy Central

I saw the headline of a Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen on TV (air date 9/19/11).  I’m going to classify this as ridiculous.  It is important to note that I don’t claim to be a fan and I don’t claim to not be a fan of Charlie Sheen.  I am aware of who he is, but to be honest, it makes no difference to me in life. 

The thing is, this roast and all roasts are ridiculous as far as I’m concerned!  What do these accomplish?  They make fun of the person and joke about them.  The roast leaves people laughing at others in a public way almost as if to humiliate them.  We in this world claim it is comedy and done in fun.  Of course to that, I say hogwash!

Smiles For Those Comments

Last week, I saw some comments come through to the blog. Most of the time, the comments are full of integrity, character and add value. Occasionally, there are some that just make you scratch your head and wonder about the person writing the comment.

While not everyone has to agree with me on every thing that I write, I do enjoy hearing how my blog posts touch other people. Like many that do comment, I appreciate the respectfulness of people when they are sharing their views and opinions. Often I am warmed by the words they share and what is shared becomes very special to me.

Last week, there was someone that read one of my blog posts and either it triggered something deep within them or they were just having a bad day. They made sure they stated to me that this was a pity blog. Of course, it was quite clear that the individual did not fully read the blog post or really check out the rest of the blog.

I try to write from my experiences and share what I have learned. Much of my subject matter comes from my own struggles through life as I try to open myself up to the world in hopes that someone else will find it helpful or challenge their own views. Often times by me writing what I do on this blog, I learn so much about myself and through what others share with me, that learning is compounded many times over.

The last thing I want this blog to be is a pity blog and hopefully it is not that! Yes, sharing the deep stories about my own journey could likely be seen that way, but only if the rest of the blog post is not read where the learning can be gleaned from the words.

I do realize that no matter how much we write or the way in which we write things, not everyone is going to accept what is said. There are times that I approach subjects on here that are volatile but my hope is that it will help bring about a positive direction in how all of us look at things. I think we can all learn so much from each other if we allow ourselves the opportunity.



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Battered By Storms Of Life

I keep thinking that it is hard to stay positive at times when I feel battered by the storms of life. It feels like I am a ship caught in a stormy sea and the waves of life are battering me hard. I wonder if the ship can take it. Can I survive? I see the tall waves lashing high above the bow. The wind howls and the torrents of rain pierce my body. The ship bounces up and down turning side to side as the waves and wind unleash their fury upon me.

Yet, how many storms last day and night forever as if there is no end in sight? Experience has shown me that at some unknown moment, the storm will exit just as quickly as it entered my life. There will be no announcement as to the storm's departure.

While the storms of life are hitting me hard, the fears of anxiety and uncertainty surround me. There is no way to know if the ship is built well enough to handle the storm. There must be trust and faith that the ship is strong and able to withstand these forces of nature.

Often, it is easy to fear that which is unknown and uncertain and unseen. It feels like tomorrow may never make its arrival. In the midst of the storm, it feels as if there is no end in sight. In fact, trying to convince otherwise, is often met with disbelief as it falls upon ears that are not able to hear.

The next morning as the sun rises, the seas become calm and the winds find a gentle flow. The storm becomes a memory and is soon forgotten. The fears and uncertainty are replaced by thankfulness of having survived the storm. Of course, it will be understood that there will always be storms in life but there will be greater confidence that they too shall pass.

(Above Picture taken at Deltona, FL - (c) 09/25/10)

*Read other articles on Mind Body Thoughts Blog

Saying Something Nice

Do you ever stop and think that sometimes we very seldom here nice things or compliments from those around us. Often in our day, we are slammed with criticisms, critiques and negative gossip that does nothing to raise our vibrations, our spirit or our outlook on life. And yet, one of the most simple things we could do for one another on a daily basis is just saying something nice to them.

I'm not talking about empty meaningless words for that is no better than the alternative. This has such a big impact on each one of us. The words we use to others and the words we receive from others has so much power.

So why not remember what it felt like when someone said something nice, supportive, caring or in a manner of thanks and do a similar thing to someone you meet. You might just completely change their day and their life. It could mean more than the world to them.

The Emotion Of Triggers

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Emotional triggers, for many people, are part of everyday life it seems. These triggers seem to always hang around and make their presence known whenever they feel like it. Sometimes emotional triggers appear not only when we least expect them, but at some of the worst moments. I know this too well because it seems like I own a goldmine of emotional triggers. While I don’t actively try to harvest these things, they just seem to find their way to the surface.

Emotion tends to guide many things we do, even if we are not fully aware that it does. Most of these emotions are not necessarily conscious, but they show up in a conscious manner. Often the person displaying these emotions is not necessarily aware of it or how they are truly coming across to the observer on the outside.

So what is a trigger? That might be a good question to answer because they are many, and I would say each person has something that triggers them. A trigger is some event in your present moment that connects you in a very deep, automatic and quick way to something that you have experienced in your past. It could be a sight, smell, sound, touch, taste or it could be a word, phrase, piece of music, color or just about anything that you observe and interact with in a day. Watching a TV program may invoke connections to memory places in your brain, as can hearing some song or even feeling the touch of someone around you. What you pick up does not necessarily have to be something horrible, and it may not necessarily be something that is directly related to the past event.

When something in your present moment invokes an automatic reaction deep within you, it is connecting in the brain and in the body with some moment of emotional charge from your past. It is an extremely quick, unconscious connection that can play out within a matter of seconds. What sets it off has no limits, no boundaries and often no warning. If you are able to identify what sets the triggers off, then you will be ahead of the curve, but often they are silent lurkers waiting to pounce as a lion would wait to pounce upon its prey.

This connection to the past is an emotional trigger. There was some past experience that had such an emotional charge to it, that the current moment is connecting that brain synapse. Often the triggers hit us in such a way that it knocks us for a loop in life but sometimes the triggers could be connected to something very beautiful in our life. For instance, if you smell a Christmas tree and it triggers your mind back to some fun early childhood memory of Christmas, it would be a very beautiful thing in this instance.

However if you take the same scenario and have another person influenced by the smell of a Christmas tree, it could take them back to a moment of horror, pain and sadness because of some event they experienced. So while we often see triggers in a negative manner, they can be positive as well, bringing out our life’s experiences and memories that we treasure and cherish. A person is able to have both positive and negative triggers.

Take, for example, emotional blasts to the past that I cherish. I have some very beautiful hymns and choruses from church that I just love to play on the piano. It takes me back to the days where I was learning how to play the piano and would spend hours creating the beautiful music. At the same time, there were many agonizing moments taking place in our house, and it was usually filled with a lot of stress, anger, yelling and strong displays of emotion. So often those songs, while they were played with beauty, were also a part of something I was trying to escape from. Now I find that in an instant, I am taken back to both sides of those experiences from my childhood. They are one and the same. The trigger could be positive and it is in many ways, but it is also negative and invokes a sense of sadness, horror and pain which still resides in my body to this day.

Another trigger I have struggled with is one that took many years for me to begin to understand. As I was sitting at a traffic light, there was this car that pulled up beside me with a stereo blasting, and the bass sound was pounding the pavement extremely hard. No matter what I did, I could not get myself to let go of the bass sound coming from that car. I began to notice that I was becoming extremely angry. Fortunately I had my windows up and AC running, because I was screaming every obscenity at the person that I could get out of my mouth. I hated them at that moment and wanted them to die. If I would have had a gun, there’s a chance that I would have used it and that is one reason I will not own a gun. I started honking my horn and waiting for the light to change in what seemed like an eternity in slow speed. I’m sure people were wondering what my problem was, and I had only a couple of things on my mind. Either I wanted to flee the sound and the situation as quickly as I could, or I wanted to do anything to get this to stop. My heart was racing, my head was pounding, my muscles in my arms and legs had grown tense and all the time, the AC was not working fast enough to even being cooling me down. Finally the light turned green and I was able to escape from the loud bass sound coming from this car, but I was left wondering why I got so angry and almost out of control for something like this. After all, it didn’t seem to bother others around me.

As time went, I began to be impacted less and less by the bass sound around me but it still made life pretty difficult. Then one day long after this, my cat began just meowing very loudly each day shortly after we moved to a new home. It was like she wanted attention but expected me to come to where she was, and she wouldn’t be quiet until I did so. The sound was excruciating and no matter what, I could not get my cat to stop making the loud meow. Finally one day I broke down in tears as I connected the trigger of the bass sound to my cat making the loud meow.

You see, when I was a child, I always loved having cats. We moved a lot so it was difficult but somehow I always managed to get a cat. My parents seemed to love animals but for some reason the cats were always afraid of my father and I never knew why. One night as a child doing dishes, I was standing on a kitchen chair because I wasn’t big enough to quite reach the sink, and had myself propped up while washing the dishes. I had to be very careful to get each and every dish very clean because if I did not, I would be in big trouble. So it was with fear and trepidation that I would wash the dishes to help my mom. On this night, there were very loud sounds coming from outside. I knew my father and mother had gone outside to the basement cellar for something, but wasn’t sure exactly what it was. We had one of those basement cellars that had the door right outside the kitchen window and back porch, which opened up out of the ground. That’s where my kittens stayed during the night, and since there were ways into the basement that the kittens knew about, it was a great place for them. There was the little gray charcoal colored kitten, Charcoal; the black kitten I named Blacky; and the grey colored one that I called Smokey, that I would sing the song “On Top of Old Smokey” to. They meant so much to me and were my companions in a world filled with turmoil.

On that night though, I heard a very loud noise of screams coming from many different things. It was horrible and I remember being horrified at what was going on outside, knowing that it was something to do with my cats. Of course I had been warned not to venture outside no matter what, and I knew that at the risk of losing my own life, I would not do this. But I listened to the screams of my kittens begging for life and begging to just let them go, as I heard the old heavy wooden cellar door slam and then slam again and again. After the final slam of the door, there was silence. No kittens could be heard. Not a single kitten left to make a sound. After what seemed like an eternity to me, my parents came back in through the back porch of the house, and you could tell my mom had been in tears and was struggling to look me in the eye. I knew she didn’t want to do what she was forced to partake in with my father. I’m sure it was horrible for her as well. My father seemed to have that cold stare in his eyes that I had seen before, and announced to me that the kittens had been playing around the door and got caught as the door was trying to close. My little brain wanted to accept the reasoning he gave me, but deep down it just didn’t add up. My eyes wanted to cry but I was warned to not be a baby about it, and it was just an unavoidable accident that had happened. After all, as I was told, crying about it would do no good and I just needed to act mature. So without tears, I finished washing the dishes that night, staring out into the night sky knowing that I would never see Charcoal, Blacky or Smokey again.

So as I sat there in traffic that day with the bass sound coming from the other car, I didn’t initially realize how the awful noise was connecting me back to a day as a child when I so wanted to stop my father from killing the kittens. Yet I was powerless to do anything or to stop it. Then when my cat began her loud meows, the sounds connected me back to that frightful night. To this day, it is very difficult to even think about this, let alone write about it, and yet it was not the first nor would it be the last time this experience would be all in a day’s activities for me.

You see, these emotional triggers stay with us until we find a way to discharge the emotional energy that is locked up within them. For if energy is trapped in a moment, it will continue searching for ways to exit and complete the direction it was going. Whether this is through something that one does physically to themselves or others, or through some type of health and disease condition or whatever way it is, the trapped energy spends its days looking for a way out. There is some point within the body where it resides, that once tapped into, yields the event as if it were playing out in the present moment. Many of us go through our lives with these things residing within us, but we never find the way to completely release them from our innermost selves. Sure we find ways to rationalize them, and make sense of them, all the time harboring the potential energy that they encase.

You may be able to go for years without ever dealing with many of these things, and in fact it is quite possible for one to go to their grave avoiding them. However at some point, the trapped energy of these moments will play out in some manner. Avoiding them keeps us operating at less than we were meant to be, and keeps us from becoming more human with potential beyond our wildest imaginations.

If you’re fortunate like I was to begin putting the pieces together, that is a good first step in recovering the energy and the trauma that the triggers hold. However, it may take years for all of this to happen, or it could happen quickly. I have many more examples of my own experiences in this as I am sure each person does. But finding the point in the body where these experiences and triggers surface is the key to having the opportunity to let them go. Once this connection to the body is made, the potential is so great. After all, the trapped energy is potential energy, and by taking the power back from it, you gain so much in your life in so many ways: from pure awareness, joy and an easier life, to less health issues and a more wholesome body to live in. No, it isn’t easy going through the triggers and reclaiming this but it isn’t as hard as one may think it is. The rewards are great, especially if you are able to do this with someone that understands how to guide you through this process and has undergone the process of healing in their own life. For truly someone that has already walked the road, can be one of the best people to help other travelers find their way through the maze of emotional triggers we suffer in life.

May you be awakened to a new thought as you have read this, realizing that there is much more than you may currently have in your life. Know that the aches and pains, health conditions, and all those discomforts you feel in your life are there for a reason. They are not to be gotten rid, of but experienced to the point of reclaiming your power over them. For when you reclaim the power of these discomforts and pains in your life, you truly are discovering what it is like to live in your body. Living in your body and enjoying it can be one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. The potential has no boundaries and the rewards are without limits. My hope is that you will not focus upon the pain I endured in the example, but that you will use what you have read as a catalyst for searching in your own life.