Living In A Human Body

I remember an instructor talking about this when I was going through massage school and I think it is still relevant today.  We are humans living in a human body.  While this may sound like a simple thought, it is how we apply it to our daily life that makes it anything but simple.

Living in a human body can be difficult in the best of times and challenging in the worst of the times.  We didn't come with an owners manual telling us how to operate in every situation that we face throughout our lifetimes.  I'm not talking in a religious sense either as some might immediately generalize.

In many ways, it is a good thing that one size doesn't fit all and being human is something we hopefully search for and grow in each day of our life.  Imagine if each of us all had to be alike and for every situation that came up, we were already preprogrammed to respond in the same way.  It would make for a very boring experience in day to day life. 

Living in a human body means...

Living in a human body means that we all have challenges and pains.  We all have physical and mental difficulties that we face.  We all have situations that baffle us and empower us, enlighten us or connect us with ignorance.  Our life and what we experience varies so much from person to person and even though we are the same species, we definitely are not like anyone else.

Being human is a growth response I think to the challenges we face.  It is about learning and discovering and becoming more aware and conscious.  It is about learning how to interact with one another to survive in a brutal and harsh world, rather than limiting ourselves to our own inner circle.  The inner circle of thought and action that aligns with our views and opinions and beliefs.

It is about challenging ourselves...

Living in a human body is about dealing with the nightmares we face or the situations that feel so overwhelming.  It is also about growing and challenging ourselves to not stay in the situation we are in, but overcome it.  It is about challenging ourselves to become more, not succumb to the agony and despair we have endured.

Is it easy to live in a human body?  No, it is not always easy to do this.  Ask anyone and they will tell you what their life experiences have been.  In fact, you might even have your own story to share.  I know I do.

Living in a human body is not about a road map that others have followed, but discovery of everything that makes us who we are and leads us to all we can be.  It is about defying the odds of what everyone thinks should happen so that you can truly find what is possible.  It is about learning to deal with life in this moment as you find your own steps forward into a realm you most likely cannot see in this moment.

One of our greatest experiences...

While living in a human body can be challenging, it can be one of the greatest things we ever experience.  The true choice of that is how we respond and what we allow to happen in our life, even if it feels like we have no say in the choice.  May we all rise to discover and understand more each day what it means to live in a human body.

Here is a blog post from 2015 where I struggled to be living in my own human body called "Can You Mask Exhaustion And Stress".

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Neuroscience In The News On May 30

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about fighting addictions through the gut-brain axis, information processing through the cannabinoid receptor in the hippocampus and the neuroscience secret to happiness.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning May 30, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from May 23, 2016

Addiction Through Gut-Brain Axis

“We are what we eat”. This piece of folk knowledge is true in more ways than one. In fact, it is well known that food, through action on the enteric system, has direct effects on the brain. The mechanisms underlying this exchange are no longer a mystery since a large body of scientific literature highlights the functional crosstalk between the periphery and the brain. In particular, the so-called gut-brain axis consists of bidirectional communication between the brain and the enteric system, linking the emotional and cognitive centers of the brain with peripheral intestinal functions (and vice versa). Insights into the gut-brain crosstalk have revealed an extremely fascinating communication system that is thought to be involved in many routine functions and systems within the healthy body, as well as in many diseases.

Article Link:

• Fighting addiction through the gut-brain axis…the future?
• Source:  www.eurekalert.org
• Plos Neuro Community Blog, Giuseppe Gangarossa

Information Processing in Cannabinoid Receptor

In the brain, there is a delicate interplay of signaling substances and cellular activity. Scientists of the German Center for Neurodegenerative Diseases (DZNE) and the Charité - Universitätsmedizin Berlin have now identified another key player within this ensemble. In a laboratory study they found that the “cannabinoid type 2 receptor” influences information processing inside the hippocampus. This area of the brain plays a crucial role in the generation of long-term memories.

Article Link:

• Neuroscientists discover previously unknown function of cannabinoid receptor
• Source:  www.healthcanal.com
• Professor Dietmar Schmitz, Neuroscience Research Center of the Charité.

Neuroscience Secret To Happiness

In his book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama wrote: “We need to learn how to want what we have, not to have what we want in order to get steady and stable happiness.” And the wise man might have been proved right by science.

According to neuroscientist Jaak Panskepp, it is the road to happiness, rather than the act of reaching the destination, which makes us happy. The neuroscientist claims that the fulfillment of desires may not cause happiness in the long run.

Article Link:

• Neuroscience’s secret to happiness
• Source:  www.deccanchronicle.com

Let Me Tell You How Wrong You Are

We are high and mighty these days in our society.  It doesn't take much for us to proclaim to the world what THEY should do!  The meme of our day seems to be, "LET ME TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE"!

I'll forewarn you, this blog post is a little bit of a rant on something that just grates on my nerves.  As always, I do try to write with a point that hopefully when you're done reading this, it may help see something a little differently.  At least, that's the goal.  So bear with me through this one.  Sometimes I just have to get on my soapbox!  

Let me tell you how wrong you are!

• Don't believe me?  Take a look at online social media, especially when it comes to politics.  Those that support a candidate view all others as stupid, broken, ill-informed, or uninformed.   No, this is not meant as a political discussion either. 

• Don't believe me?  Take a look at many of the religious postings in online social media.  Unless you believe like they do, they will not even talk to you.  They won't discuss things with you because it is their way or no way.  No, this is not meant as a religious discussion either.

My Recent Experience

In fact, I just had an experience the other day that proved this without doubt.  I was traveling.  The rental car company gave me a very big vehicle to drive.  I had no choice to take the car they gave me because of the way I rented it.  If I wouldn't have taken this car, I would have paid a lot more money.

Anyway, I'm driving to find something to eat and parking was limited.  Keep in mind, I am trying to get this vehicle in and out of a parking spot and that was not easy or comfortable for me.  It made me quite nervous and anxious.  My anxiety was extremely high.  Sometimes I get animated when the anxiety is high.

After circling the parking lot several times, I stopped to regroup and figure out what I should do.  Unfortunately I didn't realize for a minute or two that I was blocking a lady trying to back out of a parking space.  It was inadvertent.  The moment I realized what I had done, I moved from the spot I was in.

When I parked the vehicle, another lady came up and rolled down her window.  Apparently the person that I had inadvertently blocked in the parking spot, was her daughter.  She started out telling me how I needed to be more "CHRISTIAN".  I'm not even sure where that came from because it wasn't like I self-identified with that in any way.  It didn't matter when I tried to explain to her what had happened, she had already judged me to be this horrible person that got mad at her daughter and blocked her in.

We exchanged words and I gave her an earful back.   I normally don't do that, but this lady instigated this and would not stop.  She had to be right.  She had to tell me how wrong I was.  There was no backing down and somehow she was a holier-than-thou type of person telling me to be a better Christian.

When I walked away from her after I stood up for myself, I felt like someone had just covered me with icky slime.  I felt like I needed to take a shower to wash off all the evil junk she spewed at me.  I'm sure she went to her next prayer meeting and told everyone the story or at least her version of how awful a human being I was.

When we have the attitude of...

When we have the attitude of "let me tell you how wrong you are", we have lowered our self from the status of human into the status of something less than.  Thinking that we know it all and we can judge another person, does not even rise to an enlightened or spiritual person.

Later, after I brushed off what this lady did to me, I could not help but think that what if I had just had some horrible news that day or maybe I realized it was my last few days to live.  Would she have treated me differently, or was she so self-absorbed that she wouldn't have cared.  My point is, we never know what another is going through and to judge others and act this way to other people, could be very hazardous to their health and well-being.

This was not love that she showed.  If she was a christian, she maybe misunderstood the concept of love and judgment.  Unfortunately, it isn't this person only in situations like this.  It is far too prevalent in the world and something NO ONE should be proud of or endorse.  Yet, we all do!

So that is my soapbox.  I could have done without this event that day, but my greater point is that we need to stop and see others with love, not judgment.  It is not our place to cast judgment on others and tell them how wrong they are.  In fact, more times than not, we need to take an inventory in our own life of what we need to work on.

Here's another blog post that talks about judging others and makes some good points.  Click the image below to read the blog post, Before You Judge Me.

Click Here To Read

Let me know if you have been judged like this by others or if you do the same thing.  I'd love to hear your comments below.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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My Trauma Is Worse

My trauma is worse than your trauma.  No, my trauma is worse.  You don't know how bad I had it.  I had it so much more!  Of course, I'm being fictional here.  Please don't take this that I am saying this emphatically as the truth.

Have you seen this scenario play out though?  I have seen it a million times and it really gets under my skin to be honest.  I do understand how horrible trauma can be and that it can really make it beyond difficult for a survivor to face.

In the early days, the trauma you have been through feels like some big monster choking the life out of you. It does feel like no one understands and you're all alone.

Your story is valid...

I've had people hear my story and then think that their story wasn't valid.  It always saddens me.  Each person who has been abused, beat, traumatized or whatever the case may be has their own story.  My story isn't any worse.  Yes, in some ways I've experienced a lot, but that doesn't mean I am any more special.  

Trauma is Trauma!  I'm sorry if that sound too simple but it is.  Yes, we all have our degrees of trauma and types of trauma, but holding that as a badge of honor will not get anyone very far.  Yes, I had to learn this the hard way too it seems.

Don't bite their hand off...

If someone offers you a hand of understanding, have the compassion to thank them for it or at least don't bite their hand off for offering it.  Understand that they have no way to know what you have been through until you share your story with them.  Don't expect them to understand something they don't fully know.  Getting mad at them will only distant yourself from others that may be there to support you.  It alienates people so that they walk away with a bad taste in their mouth and more likely than not, are more reluctant to support others in the future.

Anyone who has been through child abuse or other trauma has a long road of recovery ahead of them.  We're all in this together and there is no need to fight one another as if we somehow have it worse.

Sometimes good intentions fall short...

Yes, sometimes people make statements that are well-intentioned but they fall short.  You can always get angry and upset with them if you want or help them understand what it is that you know so they can be there for you in a greater way.  The more we educate others, the more we advance the understanding and treatment of mental health issues.

Let's join arms and hands and walk together into a greater love and light and understanding then we have known before.  It benefits all of us if we do this.

Here's another blog post that I wrote some time ago which applies to this one. Click on the image below to check it out.  (Therapeutic Listening For Suicide And Depression)

A Question For You?

So, I have a question for you to think about and hopefully add as a comment in reply.  Do you sometimes bite the hand of support off even from someone that is well-intentioned but falls short?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Embrace The Negative

I see people time and time again only focusing on the positive.  They only embrace the positive.  They only invite the positive into their life.  While there are good reasons for that, you're only grabbing half of life or healing or whatever the issue may be.

I know, you're probably ready to click off of here and say, "he doesn't have a clue what he is saying in this blog," but hopefully you will hear me out. I think it is an important part of life that many miss out on, especially those in healing.

No, I'm not talking about hanging around with doom and gloom people all day life.  I'm not talking about immersing yourself in the negativity.  I'm talking more about moderation and a shift in awareness and consciousness on negative people and thoughts.  I know that if you hang around this stuff, it can really bring you down.

Unfortunately, it isn't so much about the other person being negative as it is what the negative part brings up in each one of us.  Think of it as your teacher because it is showing you something that you are mirroring out and reflecting to the world.  Yes, I'm sure that is not easy to read, but it is true.  Its part of our human experience.  It is part of living in a human body.

If you only focus on the positive, you're exhausting so much energy to keep the negative away from you.  By doing this, you are giving power to the negative and actually attracting the negative, rather than seeing what it is in the negative that is there to teach you.

When you embrace the negative, you take the power back.  You take control and harness the energy because now, you have the ability to conquer it or learn from it.  Maybe it is a stepping stone to something more in your life.

Focusing only on the positive means that you're giving up half of your existence and your continued growth.  It means you're not seeing the whole picture.  It means that you're locked in a pattern of consciousness and awareness that will limit you, rather than free you.

Most of the time, humans do not want to be around the negative because it is like asking a person who is carrying a lot of luggage to carry also carry a 50 lb weight.  Instead of being upset with the extra 50 pound weight, we need to learn how to let go of the luggage we carry.  If we do this, we will be further ahead.

Being human in a human body is a learning curve.  It is a process.  It does include embracing the negative along with the positive to find balance in our life.  Do it in moderation and you will be surprised at just how much power you reclaim.  Use the negative as a teacher and soon you will move to the head of the class.

Here is some interesting information from 2009 on negative or positive thinking.

Question of the Day
Do you try to embrace positive thinking in your life or do you struggle with negativity?  What are your thoughts on the subject.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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We Sabotage Ourselves

There are many hurting in the world and I sure don't want to make light of anything that anyone is going through.  I've struggled with my own issues in life and at times I've barely held my head above water.  At other times in my life, I've sunk down into a mental hole of depression and despair.

I know what its like to go through some very rough and extreme moments in life.  If you want to know more, you can always catch up in my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma (click to read more on my blog).  I felt that I needed to start out with this because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone or cause them additional pain.

I will speak personally because that is my truth.  Apply it to your own life as you see fit or maybe allow it to help fill in the hole of despair and depression you may be experiencing.  We are all in this together. 

One of the things we do....

One of the things we do as humans is we sabotage ourselves.  I know personally that I do this.  Recently I struggle through a major loss and change in my life.  I had people reaching out, but I closed the door on them.  I had people I could call, but I just didn't want to talk to anyone.  The things that I had once used to help me in life had become nothing but daggers pointed in my direction.

I did everything and anything to sabotage my life.  I didn't care about my health or what I ate or what I did.  I was in misery and I wanted to stay in misery.  Happiness or well-being had become enemies to me.  I fought anything that was good for me.

Yet, I knew deep down that in order to change the way I felt, I had to change the way I was acting and behaving.  I had to change those things that were not helping and embrace that which could help.  It didn't all happen at once.  I didn't change it overnight but I kept working towards the good and I kept trying and attempting to embrace that which would help me.

We do it before we realize it...

It is so easy for us to sabotage ourselves.  We can do it with the best of them.  We can do it before we even realize we are doing it.  However, it isn't helpful.  It isn't good for us long term.  We know that, but we still do it.

Sometimes people come along in your life and are there to help you.  Sometimes they reach out and if we keep pulling our hand back, we will keep sinking in the quick sand.  Sometimes the hand reaching out to us helps give us the strength to make it up out of the quick sand.  Maybe it just gives a temporary moment of rest and pause so we can find our way out of the hole of despair and depression.

The thing is, if we sabotage ourselves, we'll stay stuck in that dark hole.  We'll stay in that quick sand that keeps pulling us under.  Is it easy to get out of it?  NO!  No, it definitely is not.  It can require much more strength than we sometimes have, but that's where others come in.  They are there to help us through those difficult moments until we can find solid footing to stand on.

If you're in one of these deep dark holes of despair and depression, try this and see if it works.  If it doesn't, then keep trying until you find the thing that does.  Focus on one thing that you can do to help you.  It doesn't matter how small it may be.  Once you've been able to do that, then repeat again and again.  Don't reach for the stars immediately.  Instead of just focus on doing one small thing.

(click here to read)

Once you keep adding those things together day after day, you'll probably look back and be surprised at just how far you have come.  Don't give up.  Don't allow the quick sand to pull you under.  Realize you have much more strength than you can see and know that "this too shall pass".

If nothing else, I'm pulling for you.  I'm reaching out with a hand through my words here to offer a moment of strength and support.  You can do this.  You can do this!

By chance if you sabotage yourself, don't worry - tomorrow, you can always try to do something differently.  And if that day isn't as successful as  you want, the next day gives you a clean slate.
 
Leave a comment if you agree that you sabotage yourself or if you disagree.  I would love to hear your thoughts.
 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Do Labels Hurt Or Help?

Many years ago when I was first recovering and beginning to come to terms with the child sexual abuse I experienced, I kept trying to find labels that applied to me.  In fact at the time, I could have used several labels.

Some of the labels that I could have put on myself included the following

• Conversion Disorder Survivor
• Depression
• Child Sexual Abuse
• Anxiety
• PTSD
• Trauma

There are probably many more that I don't recall or would have to really search for the proper label.  It is my understanding that labels for mental health and other conditions came out of the DSM or the Diagnostics And Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  In fact, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk talks about this in his book, The Body Keeps The Score.

(click image)

During one point of my recovery from child sexual abuse, I was struggling with porn and adult bookstores and all the 900 numbers that were around in those days.  It got to the point that one month I got my phone bill and wondered how I was ever going to pay the $600 that I owed.  Keep in mind that this was many years ago and $600 was a heck of a lot of money back then (still is today).

In addition to that, I was seeking out the anonymous sex in adult book stores and almost got arrested a couple of times but luck was on my side.  Every weekend, I would exclaim I was not going to go to these places and I would keep exclaiming that up until the point when I walked into one of the booths.

I started to use labels... but she stopped me

As I finally got the nerve up to share this with my therapist, I started to use labels like sex addict and addicted to sex and other things that I thought described me and my behavior.  She stopped me dead in my tracks and urged me to not apply the labels.  Paraphrasing her, she said that if I used the labels, then there would be a much better chance that I would try to live up to the expectations of those labels.

At the time, it seemed confusing.  I didn't see the harm, but I trusted her.  Lo and behold, years later, I understood exactly what she meant.  Where we focus our mind, that is where the body follows.  If I focused on being the label, then I had to evolve a world that fit around that label.  It was a double-edged sword because on one hand it might have been able to help me, but on the other hand it would cut through me like knife in a brawl.

Labels can help...

Labels can help.  I'm not going to deny that because sometimes you need the starting point.  However, if you take the label and put it on as one of your most comfy shirts to wear, then you're entering the danger zone of needing to evolve a world based upon that label.

I'm not sure the DSM helped anyone with mental disorders, but it gave those that help people suffering from mental health issues a way to communicate.  It gave insurance companies a way to bill and classify the problems many face.  Is that helpful?  I'm not sure I am qualified to say.  I can see the pitfalls and dangers of the labels.  I can also see the necessity for this practice.

My final thought in labels hurting or helping you is that be careful with them.  In the early days of recovery and healing, labels can give you stilts to walk through some of the muck.  However, if you're not careful, the stilts begin to swell up from the moisture and soon they will not be lifting you above the muck.

Find ways that use the labels effectively, but not that they hold you back.  So much of this is unconscious and so sometimes it is hard to see that we are doing it.  Just be aware of it and look for ways that the labels become something that you needed, not what you have become.  All of us that have been wounded in life are much more than what was done to us.  Let us honor that part of ourselves.  Let us honor the part that survived and is now making it in life.

If you would like to read more about my own story, check this blog post out 

• Hope And Possibility Through Trauma (click to read)

What's your thoughts?

1. How do you use labels?
2. Do labels hurt or help you?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Sleepless Nights Of Trauma

It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it leaves me feeling discarded as roadkill by the side of the road.  I've now entered another period of sleepless nights of trauma.  The body memories that show up and the never ending thoughts that fill my waking hours are like monsters lying in wait.

It varies from night to night.  Some nights I sleep okay and other nights I can barely convince my eyes to close for an extended period of time.  Some nights, partial images connect one to another.  At other times, the images have no connecting logic, but they become flash frames in my mind.

I beg the thoughts to go away.  I beg them to find another home.  Sleep is what I want.  Sleep is what I desire.  Yet, they traumatize me as if I'm a puppet being controlled.  They hound me as if the night will never end.  I wake up feeling exhausted, but somehow trying to function in a day.

I have no answers to the sleepless nights of trauma.  I try everything and nothing works.  I hope for a better night, but its like never winning the lottery.  I long to be able to convince my eyes to just close and sleep.

While I realize from past experience that there is something lurking before me in the sleepless nights, I nevertheless hate traveling through the trauma and horrors.  I don't know how anyone could enjoy this and I can barely realize that this too shall past.

Each morning is another day.  Each night is another chance to sleep.  Will this be fulfilled or will I yet encounter another horror filled moment wishing that it will not repeat into another sleepless night.

I thought I would include a link back to a very recent blog post dealing a little with this subject. It was called Body Memories Wake Me Up At Night.

Question Of The Day
Do you have body memories that wake you up at night?  Leave a comment and let me know what experiences you go through if you do.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Neuroscience In The News On May 23

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about Neuroscience and pattern completion in the brain, how the brain remembers bad experiences and one activity that may engage your brain more than any other.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning May 23, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from May 16, 2016

Neuroscience and Pattern Completion

Recently, scientists at the Institute of Science and Technology Austria (IST Austria) discovered a new learning rule for a specific type of excitatory synaptic connection in the hippocampus. These synapses are located in the so-called CA3 region of the hippocampus, which plays a critical role for storage and recall of spatial information in the brain. One of its hallmark properties is that memory recall can even be triggered by incomplete cues. This enables the network to complete neuronal activity patterns, a phenomenon termed pattern completion.

Article Link:

• Neuroscientists discover new learning rule for pattern completion
• Source:  www.eurekalert.org
• Institute of Science and Technology Austria, Peter Jonas and Team

Remembering Bad Experiences

Bad experiences can cause people to strongly remember the negative content itself but only weakly remember the surrounding context, and a new UCL study funded by the Medical Research Council and Wellcome Trust has revealed how this happens in the brain. The study, published in Social, Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, has important implications for understanding conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

"When we presented people with negative content alongside neutral content, the brain areas involved in storing the negative content were more active while those involved in storing the surrounding context were less active," explains lead author Dr James Bisby (UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience). "When we experience a new event, we not only store the contents of the event in memory, such as the people we met, but we also form associations with the context in which the event took place.

Article Link:

• Why bad experiences are remembered out of context
• Source:  medicalxpress.com
• Professor Neil Burgess, Director of the UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience

Brain Activated Most By This Activity

Your brain fires for every reason imaginable — walking, talking, remembering what you went into that room for, even doing nothing at all.

But neuroscientists think one activity might activate your brain more than any other, and you do it every day: eating!

Dr. Gordon Shepherd, a neuroscientist at Yale, coined the term "neurogastronomy" in 2006 to describe how the brain creates flavors that make eating food pleasurable.

"Flavor engages more of the brain in relation to how it determines what we eat than almost any other behavior. "But in the case of flavor ... you're engaging not only all of the sensory systems in the brain (vision, taste, smell, and even hearing) ... [but also] emotion, memory, language in describing to ourselves and to others the flavor, the motivations to eat. It's virtually the entire brain."

Article Link:

• One activity may engage your brain more than any other
• Source:  www.techinsider.io
• Author:  Rebecca Harrington

I Thought I Knew It All

At one time, I thought I had it all together.  I thought I knew it all.  When it came to taking care of myself, of course I did that.  When it came to eating right, of course I did that.  When it came to understanding all things about the universe and being spiritual, of course I did that.

The thing is, I didn't know as much as I thought I knew.  I had swallowed up all that had been shoveled down my throat by my family, society and the church.  I was gulping it as if it was my last meal.  Unfortunately, it didn't get me too far in the direction I needed to go.  Sorry, if this doesn't sound like something you want to read, but it is the truth.

We can convince ourselves...

We can convince ourselves that we know all, but when our actions don't align with what we think and say, then who are we fooling the most?  We all do it, whether we want to admit it or not.  Its part of being in a human body that is functioning every day.

I am not saying this because it is a pie-in-the-sky concept.  I've seen it first hand in my own body and I've seen it in a lot of other bodies.  We often don't know as much as we think we know or see or understand or believe or I could go on and on.  I know that steps on toes.  It stepped on mine many years ago.

Back in 1991 when my life came crashing down and I took my last breaths of air, I realized one thing.  What I thought I knew was not what was true.  In fact, in order for me to heal and come back from the brink of death, I had to discard most of what I had been taught.  I had to discard most of what I thought I had learned.  It was the only way to move forward and to walk again and to function normally in life.

Yes, I tried to convince myself and others that I knew a lot, but when life knocks you flat on your butt and you are gasping for your last breaths, you realize just how much you don't know!  You begin to see what you have not seen up until this point.

Yes, I fought it.  I didn't want to change and let go of all that I depended upon in life.  I didn't want to let go of the foundation of what I thought I knew.  Yet, the more I was clinging to it, the more my life was drifting out of my reach.

Afraid to let go...

I see many that have done the same thing I did.  I see many that cling on to that which does not work, but they are too afraid to let go.  I was too afraid as well to let go.

I'm not going to sit here today and tell you what you have to do or how you need to get to your next point on the journey of your life.  This is for you to figure out and understand as you take steps.  How would I know the truth of what lies ahead for you anyway and if you listened to me on that, you'd be missing the best part of discovering that truth for yourself.

If we are talking about truth and fact and fiction, the following blog post addresses this in more detail.

 

(click here to read)

We, as humans, are super pros at convincing ourselves that we know more than we do and we have life figured out more than we do.  Its called being human.  However, the evolution of our consciousness and awareness is what leads us to discovery.  Its the moments where we let go of all that we know and venture into the unknown that we truly discover more about ourselves and who we are as humans.

Question Of The Day - Have you ever had a moment where you thought you knew it all?  Leave a comment below and let me know if you or have not.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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The Things People Say

I am completely amazed some days.  What humans do often tend to baffle me, but they are peculiar creatures.  The things people say are one of the things that often baffles me to the point where I question the evolution of our species in a positive way.

Things that people say are often not thought out.  They just blurt out (especially online in social media), whatever comes to their mouth or fingers.  Their brains don't even have a moment to filter or cross check the bit of communication.  It is just say it because they can.

Empathy or respect is missing...

Empathy or respect or consideration is not present when people say things to one another.  It is like, I'm going to tell you what I think I must say regardless of thinking how it might affect you.  It is like speaking and writing without even considering if this is the best way to bring things out.

Often, much of the things people say are just not needed.  If they stayed silent, the earth would still continue.  If they didn't bloviate, the sun would still rise and set.  Yet, these days everyone thinks that the world needs to know every thought they have.  They think that everyone needs to know their point of view.

Stop and think for a moment...

If we could all just stop and think for a moment before we type something online or say something, it would help the world in ways no one can even imagine.  It would make the world a much more peaceful place.  It would improve the intelligence of our communication.

I don't understand the need for humans to say some of the things they say online.  Most of it is hurtful and disrespectful and just not good for the advancement of a society.  It is done without regard for others, and is the ego screaming at full strength by the person speaking or writing the words.

 

(click here to read)

How much better we could be if we learned to respect one another.  How much better could we be if we thought a moment before we opened our mouth or commented online.  How much better could we be if communication was a perfected art, rather than the lowest common denominator.

My question to you that I leave is, how do you watch what you say?  Do you monitor it and are respectful, or do you let it rip - especially online?  Comment below and let me know.  I'd love to hear from you.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Why Go Easy On Dennis Hasert?

It is being reported that Tom Delay has written the court to ask them to go easy on the child molester.  Yep, for some reason Tom Delay thinks his opinion matters and the court should go easy on Dennis Hasert.  Now, I don't care about the politics here.  I really don't.  What I care about is the victims.

The victims don't get an easy life after they've been molested, so why should the child abuser?  Why should we go out of our way to coddle Dennis Hasert when abusing a child is one of the most despicable things you can do.  It seems like we apply the law one way for certain people and another way for others.

We make laws to allow these guys to get a much easier sentence then they should.   We make laws to go easy on the child molesters while the victims are sentenced to a lifetime of hell.  Statute of limitation laws prevent many victims from seeking justice and even if they attempt to seek justice, they are made out to be the horrible one, not the child molester.

When you're defending a child molester...

When I see someone defending a child molester as in the case of Tom Delay asking the court to go easy on Dennis Hasert, I wonder if there is not more to the story.  Most people would be repulsed by someone who does this.  If you think a child molester should have it easy, then I question what that says about you and what you are hiding in your life, Mr. Tom Delay.

I hear people get upset that the church is being targeted and yet these same people don't stop and read the bible they proclaim to follow.  Remember when Jesus talks about not harming children?  Maybe you forget that.  Of course, there are those that think their church is getting targeted over others and they think that is wrong.  Again, remember when Jesus talks about not harming children?  Maybe you forgot that again.

Child abuse victims need our help...

We should view child molesters as scum in our society and lock them away for the rest of their life.  We should be viewing the victims as the ones that need our care and concern.  We should not be asking a court to go easy on someone who has violated one of the most intimate parts of a young child.  The child can NEVER get this back.  Once the intimate part of a person is taken, there is no going back!

I have heard far too many stories over the course of my life with what the victims went through.  I've endured my own story.  It rips my heart in two and tears apart everything I can fathom at what child molesters do to children.  If you had heard the stories, you would most likely cringe like I do every time they are told.

(click here to read)

When are we going to get serious in this country and stop child abuse?  When are we going to realize that it is not only some unknown person that is hiding around the corner that abuses children.  When are we going to wake up and realize that most victims know who their abusers are?

How about your thoughts?  Am I out of line by what I have written?  Am I just getting too angry?  Leave a comment below to share your thoughts.  I'd rather keep the politics out of this discussion because it is about child abuse, not politics.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Trusting Anyone After Child Abuse

This is tough one for me.  I've struggled with it all my life.  I trust animals completely and they completely trust me.  However, when it comes to humans, its a different story.

Trusting anyone after child abuse feels like asking a rock to turn into a stick.  It isn't easy no way you slice it or dice it or think about it.  I think it gets better with time, but I know I still feel like I have one eye turned around looking for monsters in potentially every human.

Trusting is difficult.  It requires that I become vulnerable with others and let them inside of my very guarded personal boundaries.  People love to act one way, but their actions and words don't always match.  Some are masters at disguise and some you can see through very easy.

Child Abuse Makes You Less Trusting.

Child abuse makes you less trusting and accepting of others.  Child abuse leads you to believe other people are not as they appear.

For me, I think I'm always looking for ways people don't add up.  In my mind, I'm constantly checking to see if today is different than yesterday in what they say and do.  I'm looking for inconsistencies and awarding or taking points away on my mental checklist for others.  It is my way of trying to control my vulnerability.

Even for the people that I let in very close to me, I'm guarded.  I'm very guarded.  After all, the people close to me while growing up that I should have been able to trust, hurt me so badly.  They hurt me in many ways for most of my life.  It makes trusting anyone, even the good guys, a very difficult task.

To be touched by someone I am intimate with is like a moment where I cringe that they may hurt me.  My body longs for the touch, but it is still afraid of what was done to it.  I struggle with it to this day.  I've made considerable progress, but healthy touch becomes confusing to me.

I constantly feel like I have to watch what I say and do around everyone.  In my mind, if I don't do the right thing, they will abuse me like when I was a child or they will give me the silent treatment.  They will not want anything to do with me.   Yet, I know that is not true with those close to me, but my mind doesn't believe.  My mind knows what it experiences and it struggles to reconcile that with moments of today.

Trusting anyone after child abuse is not easy.  In some ways, this is probably good, but at times it gets in the way of the good side of life.  It crowds out the good guys.  It is probably one of the main reasons I went into massage school because I had to learn how to allow others to touch me.  It was not an easy thing to do.

The following blog post is one that I wrote about not feeling safe.  Click the following image to read "Never Felt Safe Growing Up".

(click here)

If you've been through child abuse, is it easy for you to trust others?  How have you learned to trust again?  Please feel free to reply through the comments below.  It would be great to hear from others on this topic.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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I Never Gave Up

No matter how difficult it got, I kept going.  As much as I had been through, I think I had every right to not keep going.  Somehow I always managed.  Somehow, I never gave up.

Even in the midst of trying circumstances when life seemed hopeless.  Even when it felt like I had no ounce of energy to keep going.  In times that my mind said, enough is enough you fool!  I never gave up.

When my legs would not function and my body was shaking uncontrollably from pseudo seizures of conversion disorder, I never gave up.  When it felt like I would never walk again, remember anything again, or function normally, somehow I never gave up.

Even in times where I feel all alone and it seems like the world is against me.  Even in times where I don't understand what lies ahead or why I struggle so much at times, I keep going.

I don't understand how I never give up.  Sometimes the demons I face, the nightmares that play in my mind and the memories that keep me awake make it almost impossible to keep going.

Somehow and for some reason I keep going.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Rape Victims Are Not Believed

In a recent article on Slate.com, it appears we've still got a long way to go in dealing with what far too many experience.  When rape victims are not believed, it makes their experience much worse.  It is the same for children who have been abused and molested.  If they are not believed, it makes their healing much more difficult.

If anyone understand trauma and rape is trauma, you will realize that you're often in a fog when something happens you can't comprehend.  Your mind is trying to deal with it and the pieces that are floating around.  There is no clear image and no clear account of what has happened.  I think if you study any resource out there on the subject, you'll see that many victims of trauma are almost frozen in time.

Think about seeing some scene or horrific accident.  If your mind stopped and thought about all that was going on, you would not be able to function.  It would be too overwhelming.  In that moment of trauma, your mind is trying to find a way to deal with what happened, not make sense of it.  Making sense of it is just too much to even begin asking especially at that moment.  Your mind is focused on survival, not writing a detailed account of all that happened as it happened.

In this article, it talks about a police officer who discovered that many of his fellow law enforcement officers hardly ever believed a rape victim.  The victims had a difficult time telling what happened and giving a chronological account of it. The officers did not know what to believe.  I can understand their reasoning to some degree, but any study of trauma will shed light on this.

According to a statistic the article published from the National Center For The Prosecution Of Violence Against Women, only 2 to 8 percent of rape accusations are false.  Unfortunately when you are not believed by law enforcement or others in our society, why on earth would anyone desire to go to prosecution. The victims are too worried that no one will believe them.

I remember back in the days when one attorney heard what I had been through.  He wanted to take it to court.  The statute of limitations had already expired but we could have pursued civil action.  While I would love to see those that abused and raped me go through hell, I did not want to relive all of it over again.  I was also afraid that no one would believe me because it was my word against theirs.  To the abusers, I am the one that was brainwashed.

We need to get to a place in society where we stop punishing the victims of rape and child abuse for something they did not do.  It was something that was done to them, but yet we make the victims out to be the bad people.  This happens over and over again.

To change this, we need to get rid of the laws where a statute of limitations applies.  We need to educate law enforcement and others how trauma works and what rape and abuse victims go through.  We need to stop allowing the perpetrators to get away with whatever they want to do because we are too afraid of holding them accountable.

Those that abused me are still living free and clear.  In fact, they think that "other child abusers" are bad, when they are no different.  They have gone to church and asked Jesus to forgive them, so in their mind, nothing they did in the past matters.  Unfortunately it does matter!

I'll most likely never hear the words, "I'm Sorry" for what I did.  I won't hear the words, "I'm Sorry For molesting you."  Many who have been through rape and child abuse never hear those words.  They suffer the rest of their lives in silence because of what happened to them.

If we truly want to enhance our society and evolve the consciousness of our civilization, we need to stop blaming the victims.  We need to hold the rapists and child abusers accountable for what they did.  Put the burden of proof on them, not on the victims!

If you would like to read the entire article, the story is Why Don't Cops Believe Rape Victims on the site www.slate.com.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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032216

Neuroscience In The News On May 16

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about free will and the brain, identifying your brain print, and Neuroscience and visual stereotyping.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning May 16, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from May 9, 2016

Free Will And The Brain

In a classic paper published almost 20 years ago, the psychologists Dan Wegner and Thalia Wheatley made a revolutionary proposal: The experience of intentionally willing an action, they suggested, is often nothing more than a post hoc causal inference that our thoughts caused some behavior. The feeling itself, however, plays no causal role in producing that behavior. This could sometimes lead us to think we made a choice when we actually didn’t or think we made a different choice than we actually did.

In a study just published in Psychological Science, Paul Bloom and I explore a radical—but non-magical—solution to this puzzle. Perhaps in the very moments that we experience a choice, our minds are rewriting history, fooling us into thinking that this choice—that was actually completed after its consequences were subconsciously perceived—was a choice that we had made all along.

Article Link:

• What Neuroscience Says About Free Will
• Source:  blogs.scientificamerican.com
• Author:  Adam Bear

Identify Your Brain Print

The team, headed by Dr. Sarah Laszlo of the Binghamton University’s Department of Biomedical Engineering, recorded the brain activity of 50 people wearing an electroencephalogram (EEG) headset while they looked at a series of images designed to elicit unique responses from person to person.

The scientists found that participants’ brains reacted differently to each image, enough that a computer system was able to identify each volunteer’s ‘brainprint’ with 100% accuracy.

Article Link:

• Neuroscientists Can Identify You By Your Brainprint With 100% Accuracy
• Source:  www.sci-news.com
• Dr. Sarah Laszlo, Binghamton University

Neuroscience and Visual Stereotyping

The stereotypes we hold can influence our brain's visual system, prompting us to see others' faces in ways that conform to these stereotypes, neuroscientists at New York University have found.

"Our findings provide evidence that the stereotypes we hold can systematically alter the brain's visual representation of a face, distorting what we see to be more in line with our biased expectations," explains Jonathan Freeman, an assistant professor in NYU's Department of Psychology and the senior author of the paper, which appears in the journal Nature Neuroscience.

Article Link:

• Neuroscientists find evidence for visual stereotyping
• Source:  www.ScienceDaily.com
• Ryan Stolier, New York University

Body Memories Wake Me Up At Night

It happened again and boy was it intense.  Yep, the pain in my neck and shoulders was so great, I was crying "uncle", but it would not stop.  It was yet another night of body memories.  It isn't the first time and probably won't be the last.

I don't even recall the hour of the night, but I'm guessing somewhere in the 3am to 4am time frame.  All of the sudden, I was awake and my neck was hurting with excruciating pain.  I got up and went into the bathroom and could feel my shoulder muscles and my neck muscles as tight as could be.

The muscles were so tense that I think a steel rod would not have been as strong.  Any movement just exacerbated the situation.  The pain was excruciatingly tense.  It seemed like no end was in sight.

I tried to do some relaxation things that I know are helpful, but they didn't really work.  I tried to focus and visualize letting go of tension and pain, but it still was there.  Finally I just went back to bed and laid down feeling the intense pain with every movement.  I almost took an aleve but fought against doing that.

After I laid back down, I must have finally drifted off to sleep because I did not wake up until 9:30 in the morning.  My neck was not feeling as bad as it was in the middle of the night, just a few hours earlier.  However after a little movement, I could feel the residual tension and pain that was still there.

I got up and the more my body woke up, the more I felt the pain and tension.  It was one of those moments that you just feel grumpy and growly from the pain. It was a feeling of exhaustion.  It feels draining.

As the day went, the pain and tension was still there.  I continued to do relaxation things to help let go of it.  I continued to try and shift my focus.  Laying in the hammock felt good as I watched the trees sway in the wind.

Writing this, the pain and tension has subsided a lot more or maybe I've just numbed out to it and I don't feel it much at this point.  I have resisted taking an aleve because I hate taking any type of medication.  It just keeps you from dealing with what is at hand.  Yes, sometimes I do take something because the pain gets too much for me to bear.

What this is all about, I don't know.  I just know that it started from a moment of anxiety yesterday when I smelled onions cooking as food was being rewarmed.  There is something behind all of this, but right now its a mystery.  It is just another body memory that wakes me up at night.

After all, it wasn't but a couple of weeks ago when my back did the very same thing.  It was so painful that I could barely move in bed or get up.  The pain grew with such intensity and then disappeared by the time I woke up.

A story to be continued...

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Finding Fault In Others

It is so easy to do this and it seems in these days that most of the people on this planet are experts at it.  Finding fault in others seems to be the go-to-device for most occupants of this planet when maybe it should not be so.

If you turn on the news or read Facebook and Twitter, you can see that much of what is posted is finding fault with others.  It isn't that anyone tries to understand what another person is saying.  It isn't that anyone tries to listen to and hear what others are saying.  It is more that we are finding fault in others far too much.

Everyone thinks they have the answers and are smarter than the next person. Everyone thinks they understand the issues of the day more than the next person.  Everyone thinks they would have made a better decision than the one that did even though they were not privy to all the facts that went into the decision.

We fight and scream at one another.  We shout and tell the world how much we know that others don't.  We act as if our opinion matters most because everyone else out there is so stupid and just doesn't understand.

Hey, I've been guilty of this too.  I know we're all human but it doesn't excuse our behavior.  We should be working to right the ship and listen to one another.  We should be working to see the good in one another and open our minds up to their ideas to see how they might help us as a civilization.

If instead of finding fault in others, why not try listening?  Why would we not try showing love to one another?  I don't mean speaking words of love and then finding fault in someone because that isn't love.  You can try all you want to make it into love, but its like trying to make dirt into water.  It just is not so!

Finding fault with one another makes us less than human.  It shows how much we lack personally in our understanding and evolution and awareness, than all others.  When we show others love and stop finding fault in them, it is then that we are beginning to discover what it means to be human.

I'm sure that if we could somehow take an MRI of the brains when we activate finding fault with others, it might give us evidence we are not who we think we are in that moment.  Let us find a way to find the good in one another, rather than the faults.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Being Okay With This Moment

It isn't easy for me at times.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed even with all the extensive work I have done on myself.  Other times, it feels like smooth sailing.  The one thing I have realized in this healing journey is that the deeper you allow yourself to go, you just have no idea where that will take you.

Being okay with this moment is often tough for us humans.  It just is!  We're usually standing in the darkness of a cave or the fog of the unknown world around us.  But being okay - now that's like super challenge for the superhero.

I have found though, that being in the midst of what you don't know is often the best way to find what you need.  That may sound like doublespeak, but I've found it to be true.  Allowing myself just go in and be okay with where I am at is sometimes the launching point for so much more in my life.

There are times when we face so much in life and sometimes I don't believe there are always answers immediately looking at us in the eye.  Sometimes, I don't think we are ready for those answers.  Yes, it seems tough in the moments and we often struggle to make sense of it, but sometimes things are just the way they are because they are.

As one goes deeper and deeper into healing trauma, you will see new layers unlike you have ever seen before.  Some of them get pretty deep and challenging, but as you go, you have more and more skills to harness what is before you.  You are operating at a higher level then you have been, and so you will move through these things, if you just allow yourself to be okay with this moment.


One of the things that has never fully 100% come back from my days of Conversion Disorder and paralysis is my memory.  I struggle with it.  Yes, I realize many people do, but my struggle is a little different than most.  I remember what therapist asking me, "can you be okay with this?"  At first I was like, well of course I can, I have to be strong.  However, the more I thought about that question, the more I realized it wasn't as easy as it sounded.  It is not easy to just be okay with it.

Another time where I had a rash that covered my entire body from trauma memories of years gone past.  It was going to that place of being okay in this moment that I could find what I needed to heal from this horrible condition I was facing.  I'm not saying it was easy.  I'm saying I needed to be okay with this moment so I could actually move forward and heal.

We all want a quick fix but often what seems like a quick fix is nothing more than a big detour from where we need to go.  Sometimes stopping the car in road of life, we can take a moment and be okay knowing that we're studying our road map to find where the route ahead leads us.

Being okay with this moment is often what we need to do and I do agree its challenging.  However, its the stuff that super healers are made of and it is empowering.  I'm sure I'm not the only that has seen this in action and if you have seen it, please leave your story in the comments below.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Telling Others What To Do

All too often, the opinionated in our society feel that they have all the answers.  They think it is their job to tell others what to do.  I've seen it a million times, especially when it comes to life's challenges and mental health.  Often, the ones doing the telling have no clue what the individual is going through.

When I got out of the hospital after going through Conversion Disorder, there was no shortage of people telling me what I should do.  In fact, it just got to be a normal thing to endure.  One lady in particular told me that I didn't need those doctors.  All I needed was to pray.  Whatever your view of prayer is, I responded to her that day, "if you broke your arm, would you just pray about it or would you go find a doctor?"  Of course, she did not have much to say to that one.

Sometimes when you're going through rough moments and patches where it seems dark, the last thing you need is 50 million people telling you what to do.  Most of the time they do not even know the full circumstances of what you are experiencing, but it doesn't stop them from being the authority.  Sometimes their "quick fix" is more harmful than if they just let you be.  Sometimes you just need to wallow in the mud pit to cool off like a pig wallowing in mud.

None of us truly know what the other person is going through.  For us to be telling others what to do is really more about our own ego or being uncomfortable with the subject and issue in our life.

I remember one guy that got so upset with me one time.  Here he was beloved by all and always portrayed to the "organization followers" that he was some great person with love in his heart.  However, when I came around and was sharing briefly what I had been learning in life, he thought I was going to mention that gawd-awful subject, child sexual abuse.  I had not even planned on saying that, but he made me so uncomfortable with his bully attitude just because it was an issue had had not dealt with in his life.

When you send memes to people thinking that a sentence or two will solve all their problems, you're really not helping.  You are just pushing the individual deeper into the cave of their despair.  If they could see the way forward, they would be taking the steps.  Sometimes the meme is one of most dangerous bullets that people fire at one another on social media.

Telling others what to do is not really what people surviving trauma and despair really need.  They need an ear to listen to them.  They need to know someone is sitting close by just being there with them if they falter when taking a step.  Sometimes your presence without judgement is more valuable than any word you can utter.

Telling others what to do is a horrible way for humans to interact.  It is far more helpful to people if you can share an experience you've been through - IF THEY ARE READY FOR THAT.  Have compassion by keeping your beliefs and opinions to yourself and just being there for someone.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Reclaiming Healthy Touch After Trauma

While this was a term paper I wrote for school many years ago, I think it is still relevant today.  Yes, I have learned a great deal since that time, but the information is still solid.  The term paper was on reclaiming healthy touch after trauma.

In the paper, I discuss various considerations and aspects of working with someone that has been traumatized through abuse, rape, or other means.  There is discussion about how different forms of bodywork can be helpful and more details about each one.

Why reclaiming healthy touch is important is the beginning of the paper and it also touches on the subject of how trauma affects the brain.  Looking for the evidence of trauma in the body is also a major consideration because if you don't know what you are looking for, it will pass right before your eyes.  You will not even see it.

With all survivors of trauma, there are special considerations that you should be aware of  in working with them, but by all means this is not an exhaustive list.

I still remember my first time working as a volunteer at a domestic violence resource center.  We were doing full body massage on the participants.  One individual came in and got under the sheets while staying fully clothed.  There was no way that this trauma survivor could allow me to work on them without their clothes on.  I learned that day, that you can touch someone with their clothes on and have profound effects.

It helps that I too was a trauma survivor.  It is easier for me to understand what a trauma survivor is going through when I know firsthand in my own body how that feels.  My body did not always like to be touched and it took someone with healthy and safe boundaries to break past this.  I know first hand how difficult it can be to reclaim healthy touch.

For the full paper, click on the following links.  I have broke it up into sections so it is easier to read and navigate.

Reclaiming Healthy Touch 

1. Introduction
2. Why Reclaiming Healthy Touch Matters
3. How Does Trauma Affect The Brain
4. Evidence Of Trauma In The Body
5. Special Considerations Reclaiming Healthy Touch
6. Full Body Massage And Trauma Survivors
7. Other Forms Of Body Work Helpful To Trauma Survivors
8. Reclaiming Healthy Touch In My Life
9. Sources And Additional Resources

If you would like to read more about my story and how I healed my life from trauma which involved conversion disorder and paralysis, my book can be found on Amazon.  It is called Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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