Helping Others Helps Us

I've been facing my own demons lately and I had a therapy session to give, but I thought I would not be up for it.  The only thing that motivated me to continue with the therapy session, was that the person was counting on me and really needed it.  Sometimes helping others when life is tough is not easy.

Going into that session, I wasn't sure if I could be there for that person.  I wasn't sure if I would have enough to give to make a difference.  I saw the issues in my own life more than I saw the possibilities.

Yet, what I found after I got done with the sessions, I actually felt better about my situation.  It was almost like (in fact it was like) by going in and being there for the other person, I actually helped heal myself as well.

When I went into that healing space with them, I was part of that space that helped heal me.  It was like there was plenty for everyone and all I had to do was to step in the moment of helping others.  When I did, it helped me.

Helping One Another

All too often we go through our day oblivious to the difficulties those around us are going through in their life.  Helping one another becomes a YouTube fad or sensation, but often times the true, heart-felt moments don't happen.  There is too much greed in our society and too much selfishness at times.  Even in the noble moments, we often fail to really help one another.

While I realize you can't help everyone as Marcus Lemonis said in an episode of Secret Millionaire, there is much we can do.  If we live our lives where everything is about me, myself and I, then we're missing a major part of the human experience.  Sometimes we have to wake up and open our eyes to realize life is so much more.

Our world needs help, whether it is in some country far away, or in our backyard.  Greed has become the life blood of the world, choking out those that are shoved down by the thugs of society.  Yet, even in the midst of greed, there are still bright spots of people that are trying to make a difference.

Should I Buy Unlimited Abundance Program

I get one question so often that I thought I would write about this.  Will the Unlimited Abundance Program work for me and should I buy it?  For each person, the answer will be different and I can't tell you what you should do.  This is something that you will need to decided for yourself.

However, I can share with you what it did for me and hopefully that will help you.  These are personal observations and changes and I'm trying to boil them down in an abbreviated form.

If you look at some of the links at the end of this blog post, you will see more of the journey that brought me to this point and my review of Unlimited Abundance.  I normally never push any products on anyone unless they are life changing to me and they have worked for me.  Yes, I am an affiliate for Mind Valley on this product, but I only joined up with them after I saw what it was doing for me.  What I state here is how it has impacted my life.  It is an honest review, not a cookie-cutter piece following a script.

5 ways Unlimited Abundance helped me

#1 - Reprogramming My Mind To Let Go

For most of my life I have hung on to so many things that I told myself were truths and yet they were big fat lies.  For instance, I have told myself, "I don't deserve abundance" or "I am not good enough for abundance".  It isn't easy to let go of these long held things that we tell to our self.    The program is helping me identify those blocks and then with Christie Marie Sheldon's system, it is helping me let go of them.

#2 - Helping Move Past Anger

I am realizing finally just how much anger I have held within my body for so many years.  Yes, the things that happened to me make me angry and it is right to feel all that.  However, the anger is eating me alive and preventing me from being all I can be and experiencing all that I can be.  The more I move through the anger and "Delete, Uncreate and Destory" all that is standing in my way of discovering myself, the more I am discovering it.

#3 - Blessings And Joy Everywhere

As I let go and I reprogram my mind, I'm seeing that everything around me is such joy and possibility.  I'm seeing what can be, not what is lacking.  I am seeing that the more I keep my heart and mind focused on joy and possibility, the more I am attracting a different set of events into my life.  Of course, I don't advocate acting a different way than you see things, but through the Unlimited Abundance Program, I am learning to sync up what I see with what I feel and it is more obvious how many blessings are in my life.

#4 - Taking Action

I can sit there all day long and do nothing, but still expect the world to unfold before me.  News flash - this doesn't get you very far.  It is what too many people do and I was one of those.  Christie Marie Sheldon in the Unlimited Abundance program talks about how we have to take massive action.  It is not enough to just set your intentions or make the statements.  You have to do something.  You have to take the steps.  I've seen this firsthand since I quit my job in August, when I took the leap of faith into massive action and it brought me to where I am now.  The more I take action, the more I begin to see doors open.  Doors have opened that I could not have imagined a few months ago.

#5 - Inspirational Stories

One of the things I've enjoyed about the Unlimited Abundance Live program is all the inspiring stories.  Sometimes it is easy to think that life won't change and you're stuck in this life you can't escape.  Seeing and reading the stories of what is happening for others propels me to moments that I too can do this.  It keeps me going.  It gives me courage and hope that where I am at right now, is not forced upon me.  It is my choice and I can make different choices for the days ahead.

Conclusion

There are so many other ways that this Unlimited Abundance Program is helping me and I've tried to detail my journey into the Unlimited Abundance Live program as I go.  If you check out My Abundance Journey, you will see how far I have come.  You will see my progress as I continue to move forward.

I know many people have asked me, "Should I buy the Unlimited Abundance Program?"  I can't make that call for  you, but I know it has greatly helped me.  I see it helping many others.  You need to make the decision for yourself, but if you need proof of what it does, study what I have written.

At first, I thought I was a little off my rocker for spending the money that I did on the Unlimited Abundance Live program, but let me tell you - I'M SO GLAD I DID!  It is really helping me especially since I quit my job.  It is keeping me focused and moving forward into the world I am now creating for myself.  As I look back at when I signed up for it, I'm happy that I did not let the price of it stop me.  I would have missed out on so much healing and growth for my life.

I started out with the Home Study Course and now I am currently enrolled in the Unlimited Abundance Live training group.  The LIVE experience only happens every now and then, but let me tell you it is awesome!

Further Reading

1)  My Abundance Journey  (on Somatosync.com)
2)  Blog Post on August 3, 2015 - Unlimited Abundance Live Event
3)  Does Christie Marie Sheldon Unlimited Abundance Program Work  (Mar 2, 2012)

Listen To The Free Webinar

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Helping Yourself To Help Others

Many years ago after I was in Bridgeway Psychiatric Hospital recovering from the paralysis of Conversion Disorder, I was introduced to a thought I had never been introduced known.  We were in group therapy and the doctor was talking about helping our self in order to help others.

So often we help others at the expense of helping ourselves.  It is easy to do and sometimes it is part of the human experience.  It is hard to see someone in pain, especially if you are highly sensitive like I am.   I don't like to see people suffer or animals for that matter.  I generally feel all of their suffering much more intensely in my own body.

Sitting in that group session that day, the doctor asked the question.   If there was a banquet table full of food and there was you and another person, but only one chair (one place) at the table, what would you do?  Would you eat first before the other person or let the other person eat first?

Being Real Is Being Human

One of the things I keep trying to help people understand is being balanced in life.  I want people to be real and human.  Its okay to think great and wonderful thoughts full of happiness and love.  However, if you are hiding your head in the sand, you're not being real.  You're not being human.  You're not being anyone that others can relate to in this life.  We all need relatable people.

I grew up in a church background where everything was pray to God and God will solve all your problems.  God will always provide.  The funny thing was that these same people had more illness and problems then the population at large.  If God was helping them through their prayers and beautiful words of love, then "Houston, we have a problem".  I'm not saying the belief in God is bad and you should abandon it, but I just saw how abused and unreal it was.

Boundaries For A Helping Heart

One of the things that I have struggled within life is that my heart is often larger than the boundaries I have in place.  As a result, I've often been worked over, abused, used and put in situations where it was just dog gone uncomfortable.  I'm afflicted with the syndrome of lacking boundaries for a helping heart.

You see, I never learned good boundaries when I was growing up and it is something I've spent much time trying to teach myself.  Any boundaries I had when I was a child was crossed over and over again without the slightest thought of respect towards me by people who were close.  This has carried over into my adult life and made some situations pretty difficult.

People flash their pretty eyes at me and share what they want to do, and poof - the next thing I know, I'm hooked into tasks that I should have just said NO, in the first place.  Sometimes I get the phrases that "oh you are so smart and know how to do this" or "I just have no idea what to do".  Sometimes, being intelligent or understanding many things about different subjects feels like a curse.  Yet, I do not want to be selfish, but saying NO, or setting up a boundary with parameters is scary.  To be honest, when someone strokes my ego, it makes it harder to say no!

Mental Health Awareness is More Than A Tweet

Written By Don Shetterly

There are some things I'm so annoyed by online that I can't hardly bring myself to think calmly about them.  I keep seeing everyone tweet, like, and share online that we need to promote mental health awareness.

While that is great, this is where it seems to stop.  We don't go any further than a tweet.  We don't really jump into it.  We just tweet, retweet, share and like and feel like we are doing something.

Two times, I've put out real hard information and helpful events that were "free" but in both cases, people ignore it and move on to the next mind-numbing tweet of the day.   There is no sign up for the event.  There is no sharing of the event to help others.

All we do is sit back and like or retweet that we need to bring mental health awareness to the world.  Great - I'm for awareness, but if that is where it stops, then what are we doing?  Are we just puffing up our tweet ego for the day?

If I'm upsetting you, I'm not going to apologize because I see this over and over every day.  Helping others with mental health issues and suicide is much more than saying that's what you do.  People need real help, not words on a screen.

Yes, I know the subjects are difficult to deal with and everyone wants to hide their heads in the sand.  Yes, I know that there are many ways to help and some people do all they can.  However, the number of tweets about mental health awareness far outnumber the actual things people do to really help.

We need to get off of our proverbial social media butts and do something good, rather than just claiming mental health awareness.  When events come along, support them.  Don't just ignore them.  When people need help, be there for them, just don't give them platitudes.

Lastly, if all we do is scream at others for not understanding the pain we are in, then we're not helping them to learn.  We end up turning them away.  Share your story with them.  Share not only your pain and struggle but what is helping you and what you are learning.  Offer a hand of support to others, not a bat to beat them over the heads.

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I cringe every time I see the mental health awareness tweets go through because there are far too many that stop at the water's edge.  People struggling with mental health and suicide need others physically to be there for them.  Words on a page do very little.  Thoughts and prayers are empty if no action follows.

Ok, that's my soapbox.  If I have offended you, I'm not going to offer an apology right now.  I want people to be offended so they get up off their proverbial social media butts and do something.  If making someone upset that they aren't doing enough gets someone doing more than this blog post accomplished its purpose.

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Chronic Pain Prolonged With Painkillers?

There is nothing worse sometimes than when you hurt.  When you're in pain, you just want it to be gone as quickly and simply as you can.  If you're a highly sensitive person, pain is not your friend.

Let's face it though, no one wants to suffer through chronic pain or any type of pain.  In this country we will do just about anything to avoid it.  Painkillers often become the way we deal with life, medical conditions, chronic pain and other situations we find ourselves in every day.

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, in 2010, enough prescription painkillers were prescribed to medicate every American adult every 4 hours for 1 month.  (source:  drugabuse.gov).  We all have most likely read just how much painkillers are being abused and overused these days but that statistic is frightening.  I have seen the recent news of Prince overdosing on Fentanyl (Fentanyl Deaths Soar) . 

Pain medications among fastest rising additions...

Heroin and pain medications are the fastest rising addictions in the US according to www.addictions.com. As they discuss, there is great potential for addiction no matter what drug is used.

While painkillers seem to be America's best friend, they are dangerous and according to a new study by University of Colorado, could be more harmful than good.  In the study, they reveal that opioids such as morphine actually increase chronic pain.

Not just long term painkillers...

We are not talking about a long term painkiller that is being used, but just a few days of treatment that ended up causing chronic pain for several months.  In their study, the painkillers were triggering an immune response which caused the release of pain molecules.  Once this happens, it increases the perception of pain in the brain.

I am saddened to see just how many painkillers are being used today and how many addictions result from this practice.  It has been many years since I have taken any prescription medication whatsoever.  I try hard to keep myself healthy or find effective alternatives if something is needed.

Self-Medicating is not helping our bodies...

We cannot keep self-medicating our bodies and expect us to be fully human.  It is not helping us individually or our society, because rather than getting rid of the pain, we are just numbing ourselves to it.  Numbing does nothing but take you further into the darkness of life while helping you believe that you're doing the right thing.

The more we go into the pain, the more aware we are of what is happening in our body.  Yes, when the pain gets to great, then it is very difficult to manage and I do understand that.  However, taking more painkillers is not the answer like this study suggests.  Finding ways to connect with our body and come out of numbness will yield much better results over the long term.

If you want to learn more about how the placebo effect works, take a look at the following blog post on Placebo Effect And Medical Care .

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Question Of The Day

What ways have you found to alleviate pain without using painkillers?

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Healing Conversion Disorder Podcast

While this interview was done a couple of years ago, the information is still relevant to Conversion Disorder today.  With the news of assisted suicide in Canada, where a woman found no way out of conversion disorder, I thought the time is right to highlight this interview again.  There is hope.  Don't ever give up!

I know of others that have been through this and found their way out.  In fact, I was one of those that went through Conversion Disorder with paralysis and pseudo-seizures, among many other things.  At the time, I could not piece everything together as to what caused it, but in time the story began to emerge.

This video interview podcast is a discussion I had with Dr. Paul Canali of the Evolutionary Healing Institute in Miami, Florida.  He is a pioneer in the treatment of trauma and helping people recover their lives from the inside-out.  Dr. Canali has been instrumental in helping me fully recover and several others that have been through Conversion Disorder.

I have hosted the podcast and more information on a another website I run, so please check it out. There is some excellent information in here that you most likely have not heard presented in the way that it is.  The website is Somatosync.com .

Some of the topics covered include in the interview:

1. What is Conversion Disorder?
2.  Is Conversion Disorder all in your head?
3. What are some examples of Conversion Disorder?
4. Does there have to be major trauma for Conversion Disorder?
5. What are some of the first steps a person can take to recover?

Listen to the Podcast with Dr. Paul Canali

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Diagnosis Of Conversion Disorder

Here is another great interview I found on Conversion Disorder by Dr.  Rochelle Caplan.  She had a very good way of helping to understand what Conversion Disorder is and the struggle to diagnose it.

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Read My Personal Story

To learn more about my personal story and journey through Conversion Disorder, please check out my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly.

When I was in the early stages, there was so much I did not realize and know.  This is part of Conversion Disorder from my experience because if we knew these things, then most likely we could avoid this horrible ordeal.

If you're going through Conversion Disorder, please know that you are not alone and there is hope.  There is a way through it, but it requires courage and going outside the box of paradigms.  I had to let go of much of what I thought was true in life to find out what really was true.

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Fallacies Of New Age Practices

New Age Healing Practices can be great and wonderful and so effective. At their core, they are pure and focused on what healing is all about. However, all too often, these practices take on a structure that alters the healing and forms it into something that is more of an institution. I have watched from a distance how this unfolds in so many new age healing practices.

Even though we have the best intentions in the world, it seems like we fall prey to the inadequacies within ours self as healers. We bypass the things that make sense to us deep within our gut and body, for the ability to have as many people connections as we can. We become an organization, complete with followers, rather than stay completely true to ourselves. I am sure that the most noble of healers come to this crossroads at some point in their path and hopefully they have their eyes open wide enough to see where their path becomes derailed.

So what are the fallacies of new age healing practices?

1) Telling a great story that draws people in, where they are mesmerized to the point of signing up for just about anything you are offering that night, regardless of how it truly connects with them.

2) Claiming that you are the only one with these abilities, healing practices or that they have been delivered personally to you from some named entity. Please note, that I know we all pick up on things and there are probably some supernatural experiences but this claim is made way too quickly these days without explanation or a testing of the facts. I'm sorry if I am raining on anyone's parade but this is beginning to get out of hand in the new age world.

3) Appearing as if you have all the answers to whatever issue comes your way. It seems like it is a rarity to hear a healer say, "I'm sorry, but I've got no idea how to help you and this is probably beyond my scope of practice." I've witnessed this deficiency over and over all the time in various people, organizations and practices.

4) Spending more of your time developing classes and giving lectures, seminars or writing books and materials versus the time that you are actually working to help heal people. Sure, I understand that maybe your path involves teaching others but if you aren't doing the work on a consistent basis, than how can you claim it is helping others? Students of your work may or may not prove that your work is helping to heal others.

5) Doing the work on others but doing nothing on yourself or not participating in trades with others. How can we heal others if we don't continually work on ourselves? That seems very inauthentic to me!

6) If you are not able to sustain yourself with your work than there is a lack of authenticity to what you do. At first when you are starting out, this may be the case but if your life is helping others, I fully believe the universe will respond appropriately.

7) The amount of money you charge or don't charge is a fallacy of new age practices. I have seen people ask the universe for abundance and then yet, they do not ask for any payment from their clients. I recently read something by a friend that stated how much this puts the healing relationship out of balance. On the other hand, I have seen healers charge exorbitant fees for their services claiming that they are worth every cent. Somehow, I have a difficult time believing the universe looks at this as normal. After all, the people that most likely need the healing the most aren't the one with big pocket books!

8) Only communicating with those that regularly see you may limit the amount of contacts you make in a month but they often leave behind those that need the moment of connection. I believe that communication is not just when you are in the office being treated but in those times when life is so very difficult. It is part of the healing process and part of being authentic. It is not just about communication that is convenient for the healer.

9) Realizing that not all clients progress at the same rates or on a linear progression. As healers, we most likely are not on a linear progression in our evolution. Depending upon what a person has gone through, it may take considerable time to truly unravel the intricacies of traumatic moments in their life. When the damage is great to an individual, so is the time it takes to heal, process and heal some more. If it becomes too much in too short of a time, it can overwhelm the person to the point of break down. Be patient with your clients and try not to put unnecessary burdens of expectations on them.

10) Each healing modality that you do or are aware of has only so much provable truth within it and the rest is what you and your mind or other followers derive. While that may serve you well at times, you need to recognize that there are limits. Many times, what we feel is effective is nothing more than a placebo, yet we fail to allow our self to see this. By doing that, we do more harm than we do good to our clients.


As healers, we must realize we are human and that it is not about being perfect or being put on a pedestal that makes us effective. Effective healing is about being as true to our self as we can in the moment we are at in our life. However this takes shape and form is entirely appropriate as long as we are true and honest with our self and evolving in awareness.


Further Reading:
1) Illusions In Healing (Blog Post, Mar 10, 2011)
2) Abundance Or Wealth (Blog Post, Jun 30, 2011)




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Helping Prevent Suicide

(Written by Insights Into Healing, Barbara)

In a previous blog post a couple of years ago, I talked about how I dealt with the loss of my son.  He committed suicide on November 8, 2012.  This article was not just about the details, but more importantly, how I made it through this time.  It was difficult and made it difficult for me to even understand what it meant to live in life.

Check out my thoughts and the video webinar that we've done.  Our intent and purpose is helping prevent suicide.  Whether you've been through this before you know someone that has, this webinar is extremely helpful.

To see the webinar, go to Helping Prevent Suicide


You can make it through this! 

 - Barbara (Insights Into Healing)

Read all of Barbara's Columnist Posts

(Editorial assistance by Jeff Lemlich)

 

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Barbara

Columnist

Unified Therapy

Visit Barbara At:

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Is This Abundance Training?

One thing I've been learning about is how to change my life from the core outward.  In one area, abundance, I've learned to let go of long held beliefs and views and opinions that were holding me back.  Abundance training was not about attracting anything to me, but letting go of that which no longer served me.

Now I know that many in abundance training teach to visualize and attract things into your life.  While there is nothing wrong with knowing where you are heading and what you want, it really gives you a distorted or one sided view in my opinion.  The discovery of asking these questions is a good thing, but fixating upon it can actually hold you back.

A couple of years ago I was struggling to find any work and take care of myself financially.  Abundance was just a concept that different people tried to explain to me.  Unfortunately they explained it through their lens into life which didn't apply to me.  I floundered around looking for teaching and training that would help.  Some of these things worked and some caused more frustration.  (see What I Have Learned About Unlimited Abundance).

I finally found one program that began helping me change my life.  It was a training program that was too expensive at the time, but eventually I was able to purchase it.  While some of it doesn't apply to my own particular life, the part that really helped me the most was learning to let go.  To find myself and to find abundance for my life, I have to let go!

Open Your Mouth and Remove All Doubt

(Written By Don Shetterly)

Some days I wonder about people.  I really do.  I try to see people as a body that has a pure center of light and love within them.  Some people challenge me hard on that, and while I try to let it go, it gets to me.

I offered support to some people the other day, and of course got one of the "unconscious" statements, wanting to wave a magic wand.  We've all seen that.  We've seen the ridiculous comments that do nothing to help support others.

A long time ago, I learned that sometimes you can be silent and make people wonder, or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt.  In social media, we often open our mouths when maybe we shouldn't, and by doing so, we remove all doubt.

We should help one another...

We are humans!  We should be helping one another to survive on this challenging planet we call home.  We should be working to evolve our own consciousness so that we can be there for others.  Everyone needs everyone because life can be difficult in the best of the time and downright be exhausting at other times.

Yes, I know that there are a lot of wounded people walking this planet.  These wounded people are the vocal ones telling everyone else what they should do while forgetting that they need to heal themselves.  Yes, I understand that is asking a lot, but when the "you should do this" comes out, you're really not helping anyone.

People need someone to listen and be there for them.  They need people who have walked through the fires of their own lives so they can help them go through it on their own.  We need people who genuinely know what support is, where you can see it as evidence through their actions and words.

Just to open your mouth unconsciously does no good.  In fact, you often inflict further wounds upon people.  You make it harder for them.  They are already struggling to hang on, but with some of the things that get said, it is like you're pushing them over the cliff.

When we open our mouths, let us make sure we are helping someone from the heart.  Let us not be the person that removes all doubt and leaves people struggling harder than before we came along in their path.  Let's be people that help each other and leave others in a better place than before we opened our mouths.

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Asking Pointless Questions Helps You Heal

I get so tired of hearing people use different variations of the statement, "just move on" or "just get over it".  Some may realize they are doing this, but many may not.  To tell someone that is struggling in life through a traumatic experience to just move on is about one of the most hurtful things you can do to them.

When I came out of the hospital from having a Conversion Disorder and being totally paralyzed, I was met with a lot of encouragement.  Unfortunately there were those that would say, "just pray about it" or "you just need to forgive and move on" or "just let it go".   I could make a million statements here of things that people said and none of them were the least bit helpful.

I remember telling one person that told me to just pray about my situation, that if you had broken your arm, would you just pray about it and hope it would heal?  More than likely you would go to a doctor and have them set it in a cast to get it to heal.  Praying can be good and has been shown through research to help in healing, but we all need to get real!  Words can hurt, even if you think you are saying something good.

Faith Based Interventions For Conversion Disorders

I just read a synopsis for a book you can purchase online.  It was about using faith based interventions for conversion disorder.  Now, while I fully respect that faith and the practice of religion can help a person in many situations, what these people are suggesting in this summary is anything but helpful.

If you are not helping people to heal, you are part of the problem.  Unfortunately, it doesn't stop people from preying on those that are down to their last ounce of strength, attempting to convince them that they just don't know how to handle stress as the means for their own survival.  Nothing like adding a little more guilt on someone because they don't buy into your faith based strategy for a mind numbing life.

Conversion disorder has nothing to do with a person praying or not praying, practicing a religious faith or not.   Conversion disorder is much more than that, but when I read what I did, it was very clear and evident that these individuals had no clue what they were saying.  Yes, they quoted some research study they did, but just because you claim to do research doesn't mean you do good quality research.

Where Two Or Three Are Gathered

While I'm not a person that subscribes to any particular religion, I realize that spirituality is part of the human experience.  Because of what I went through many years ago, what is taught in the church is very hard for me to align with in my life.  As a result, I recognize that there is a universal power or a source energy, but I try not to tie myself down according to how other humans perceive this through their own beliefs.

With all this said, I also recognize that in healing moments, we are never alone.  There are many forces in the universe that are there with us.  If we think we do the healing with someone, we are completely mistaken.  We are vessels, but we don't do the healing.  The healing comes through our abilities, skills, and willingness to be with another person at that moment in pure love.

You Don't Have To Engage

Written By Don Shetterly

For some reason, I do not understand, we as humans think we need to engage in every fight that comes along.  Just a little tip here which I'm sure you've heard before, You don't have to engage.

Now, I know, everyone will claim they don't engage.  Many will state they rise above everything.  Many will deplore what is going on.  However, what is said to the masses and what is done while no one is looking do not match up.

I'm sorry.  I hate to be the bearer of honest news to everyone, but I see this day in and day out.  It isn't hard to figure out with a couple of clicks on the internet.  What we say to the world and what we do are not the same actions.

The more significant point is you don't have to engage with the turmoil and screaming of the day.  The world will go on whether you do or not.  If we're not careful, we're just adding more fuel to the fire.

Yep, somehow we think that dumping our own fuel on the fire is helpful, but basic science teaching says that dumping fuel, only increases the fire.  I know you'll tell me you don't do this.  It is all those other people that do.  This is where I cringe and just let you continue to think that you don't do this.

I get it.  We are humans.  When we feel scared or threatened or attacked, we want to bring it on and let everyone know just what we think.  It does make sense.  However, don't you need to ask yourself if you're really helping the situation by responding the way you do?

As Oprah said the other day to Jimmy Kimmel, "You don't win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on."  There is much truth to this statement.

Everyone thinks they are right and so they engage.  They don't listen to what someone has to say.  It doesn't matter if you are on one side of the issue or another in this country.  No one listens to another because they have their minds made up.

When we continuously engage in this screaming and negativity, we're not helping anything.  Most of all, we're keeping our mind, body, and nervous system revved up, and that's not healthy.  It creates more stress.  Stress creates illness and health issues.  The end result is we end up hurting ourselves.

I'm not saying to crawl under a rock and hide, but you don't have to engage.  You can listen to someone say something that you don't agree with because maybe they have a point in there that you need to hear.  You can do what others don't do to you thereby modeling behavior that is more healthy and respectful.

Most of all, don't get in the middle of the mud pit and expect to come out looking any different than the other people.  Rise above it with love, understanding, and compassion.  Use your life to help teach and show others a different route through it.

Remember - you don't have to engage!

Taking Away Their Pain

Written by Don Shetterly

Many of us who are extremely sensitive truly struggle when we see others hurting.  We want to take their pain away, but more often than not, we don't have the power to do this.  I wish I could heal and take away the pain of so many, but that's just not how life happens.


While I realize we can be there with others in their pain, there is a big difference between that and taking away their pain.  Pain is there for a reason.  I wish I understood why it is for everyone, and why it is in my own life.  I'm not that smart and I doubt very few people can truly say with one hundred percent certainty.

I see many things come through my mail promising to alleviate pain.  After all, who wants pain in their lives?  Unfortunately, most of these things are a band-aid applied to a gushing wound.  Now before you say, oh but it did take away my pain, let me explain the misconception here.

If pain and suffering are in our lives for a reason, then if someone takes it away we lose the full impact of why it was there.  If we look to others to take away our pain, we give our own personal power up to them.  If we look to outside forces to fix us and heal us, then we've neglected what our own mind and body are capable of doing.

Keep in mind that these so-called pain relief treatments, models, and remedies do not often heal the pain.  They only mask it for a short time.  I say this because if they truly healed the pain or situation in your life, then one treatment would be all you would ever need.

If someone helps you...

Instead, if someone helps you find your way from pain, then you've got the possibility of being empowered with your own mind and body to take that healing further than you ever thought was possible.  If someone helps you find the way to healing your pain, you now learn new tools that will assist you in the future.  It isn't just a one time fix.  It is like teaching someone to fish, rather than only giving them the fish.

I personally believe that pain and suffering are there in our lives to help bring us further into our own awareness of who we are.  The more we go through moments of suffering, the more we wake up and discover all that we are.  Does that make suffering easier to swallow?  Not in my view.  I still struggle with this concept even though I've come to see how true it is in my own life.

It is in understanding what that pain means to our lives and to the world, that we discover so much more about life and consciousness and all that is possible.  Without the pain, we would miss some of those things.  Without learning how to heal the pain, we would miss the lesson.

I am often reminded of the song that Garth Brooks sings, "The Dance".  The line that really stands out to me in this song is, "I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance."

If our focus in helping others is just to take away their pain, then we're doing them a disservice.  Sure, we don't want to see them suffer, but we need to help them learn whatever it is that they need to learn.  We need to walk beside them and hold them and be there for them while they make the discovery.  We need to walk through the fire with them, not merely dump water on the embers.

Our greatest gift we can give someone else in helping take away their pain is that we enable them to connect not only with their mind, but with their body. That connection is where the healing forces are found.  When we lift someone up to that moment and we're there walking through the fire with them, the hope and possibility they will have for their life will be multiplied many times.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Growing Up Hungry

If you grow up with a stomach that is hungry, how will you ever come to understand that there is plenty.  For if the stomach does not have enough which is a basic component of human existence, then how can there be enough abundance in the world.

Hunger confuses the small mind and carries its power into adulthood.  Even when the adult has plenty to eat, the memory of the past says, "but it is not always certain there will be enough to eat."

We need to stop gorging ourselves and begin caring more about those that do not have enough to eat.  Not all of them are in another part of the world, but many are.  Some are in your own neighborhood, schools, and churches.  It doesn't take much to find them.

Thanksgiving is this month where instead of seeing how much we can stuff down our throats, why not try helping someone that maybe would enjoy just a regular and normal meal.

Children International is a place that I support.  Please check them out as I know they are legit and trustworthy.  If you have something in your local area, see what you can do to help them as well.  When we are down and out, sometimes a helping hand is what gives us hope!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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We Help Through Our Own Vulnerability

In my many years of healing, I have found that we often hold back far too much.  We are afraid what others might think or scared of how we will impact them.  We walk on eggshells around them.  We hold back.

Yet, it is through our own vulnerability that we meet others where they are and we help them.  By sharing our pains and struggles, they find that they are not alone.  Together we accomplish much more healing than if we would have hidden inside our own cave, keeping vulnerability out of sight.

I do realize that it isn't easy being vulnerable and sharing, but I know from firsthand experience that it is crucial to helping others.  No one wants a scientific emotionless person there to be a sounding board.

You want someone that has walked through the fire.  You want someone to grab your hand and say, I'm here for you and I'll walk through the fire with you.  Together, we will make it.

They say it not as mere words, but as someone that has been there and fought every inch of the way to find their footing and existence in life.  They say it as an extension of their heart that they give without judgment, in pure love and compassion to say - I'm here for you.

I had many that were there for me, some in deeper ways than others.  Since others have been there for me, I try to be there for people who are needing help, support, or just someone that understands.

In this day and age, we've got too many people hurling insults at one another, but not enough that will say "I understand your pain.  I understand your struggle.  I've been there." We need more people to be there for one another, not stand opposed as is seen on every street corner of this world.

I share my struggle in this blog.  I share my struggle with those who know me personally.  I am often criticized for not "moving beyond" or "not being positive".  Yet, I know that many have shared with me how something has touched their lives.  They were impacted positively because they knew that someone understood and cared.

Sharing my struggle is my truth.  Quoting other people is their truth.  Coming up with my own set of beliefs to explain every mystery is not necessarily a valuable thing.  It can help, but more often than not, the beliefs hinder and blind us.

I don't plan on changing how I do things because I know that we help others through our own vulnerability.  When others are able to connect with us in those deep ways, their lives are transformed.  Often times, my own life is transformed as well.

Let's not hold back being human.  Let's not numb and disconnect into a positive and happy thought only reality.  Let's be real and authentic and through our vulnerability, let's show that to those who need a helping hand, a moment of support and understanding, or an extra ounce of love to know that they matter.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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