Hopefully we get to the point that we say "it doesn't matter how long it takes, no matter what I'm going to change." This is a difficult part to get to at times where we really feel things can change and improve. It is easy to sometimes mouth the words, but to truly believe it deep inside of us is another story.
Of course, all kinds of well intentioned people come along and give us unsolicited advice. They mean well and most of what they say is good advice. However, unless you have walked in the shoes of the person going through what they are dealing with in life, most likely your words sting and hurt, rather than support. It is a fine line to be there, but sometimes just being there in support is all the person needs. We need to be careful and mindful of what we say, because there is no need to make things worse for the person suffering from life's circumstances even if it is unintentional.
On the other hand, if someone continues to focus on the circumstances and takes on the "poor me" mindset, they will continue to struggle. The "poor me" mindset involves feeling like you can't get anywhere and that there is no hope or answers for your situation. This mindset also sends us looking to external sources for answers to our questions and problems. The answers though do not lie in brick buildings, the sky or in various practices. The answers are within us.
Sometimes when you are facing the storms of life and not sure what the next step is, you need to take safety in the harbor, away from the high seas. There is no sense fighting the fierce waves if you can make it into calmer waters. Take your time and rest while you ride the storm out. Don't keep pushing against the waves because most likely you will just be wasting precious energy and time.
Step back and evaluate where you are at. Look at things from all perspectives and see if there is some aspect or side to the circumstances that you are not seeing. It may be a shift in your reality that is needed to find the way forward. Often when we are in the midst of the situation, we lose site of the bigger picture. There is more than we can often currently see, and sometimes we need to take a step back and observe it from a different vantage point.
Begin to focus on what these circumstances are teaching you in life. There is some lesson to be learned or truth to be discovered. It may feel rough and painful going through these moments, but in the end when you can look back, there is generally something to be gleaned from the experience. It may not be easy to look at the circumstances in this light during this time, but if you focus on what can be learned, it will help shift the perspective.
Our mind and our thoughts creates actions. Whatever we place our mind on in our day, is what creates our actions. Together with our feelings and emotions, we either have the mindset we want for our life, or we are playing the old tapes of life. All of us have forged together neural pathways that fire automatically in our brain. The secret though is to use the neural pathways for our benefit, not for our detriment. You don't need to enter the false sense of fantasy land to change your thoughts. Stay grounded in what is real and felt within your body, to find the thoughts that create the positive actions for your life.
Last but not least, realize that you don't know everything. While everyone seems to agree with this, we often fail to practice it. We are so in love with the neural pathways of our beliefs, that new thoughts, ideas and concepts become enemies. What you may know up to this point in your life, may not be the best thing for you. You may need to go in and evaluate everything with intensity to discard those things that are opinion and belief, to make room for truth in your life.
Everyone going through difficult moments in life will find their way through the current moments they face. There is no path that is the same for everyone. Each person is different, unique and has the ability to find their own path. Don't go looking for it from external forces, but learn to go within and find the answers for your life. Let your mind and body be your guide as you discover all the potential you hold within and discard what is no longer useful for your life. It isn't always an easy job, but it is definitely worth it.
Blog Post And Images (c) 7/23/12 by Don Shetterly
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