During my days of seizures, lack of energy, and paralysis of the conversion disorder, I was passed from doctor to doctor, claiming they could find nothing wrong with me. From a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, to anxiety attacks, to tests of every nature, life seemed hopeless. It was not until one neurologist began to think outside the box in regards to my treatment, that my life began to change and have hope.
There have been other times in my life where I lost everything financially and was facing homelessness in a matter of days. At the time, I was so depressed that I could barely focus on solutions to keep myself from becoming homeless. It seemed like there was no way to win and all was hopeless. Yet, a friend of mine helped me begin seeing the logical side of the events, and I was able to rescue myself from the situation I was in.
Other times, I have went through enormous health challenges like a rash (to read more on this, click this link) that covered my entire body and kept me in constant pain, itching, and days of sleepless nights. I so badly wanted to give up and not go through one more minute of this. My legs and body were so tired, I barely felt like moving at times. Life felt hopeless, but fortunately with the help of my good friend, Dr. Canali, I found my way through the emotional pain that was emerging, into days of strength and healing.
Earlier in my life, I went through moments of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse that left me for discarded trash more than once in my life. The abuse started when I was very young and continued until I escaped to college where I could finally separate myself from the abusers. It was a life of torment that I tried to hide from my consciousness because the pains were too great. Yet, when I began to heal from this, I started to find my inner power and the part of me that was special and not wounded. Yes, it took years of therapy and healing to make it through this, but I turned hopelessness and despair into triumph. (to read more about my story, click this link)
I do not share these stories as a way to beg for pity. Instead, they are a way to share with others that you are not alone. Other people have walked through some difficult paths and found a way through these horrendous moments of life they were given. It did not happen overnight. It was not because of some magical healing potion that was administered. It took courage, determination, and a belief that I could make it through and find healing.
Trauma is trauma and many in the world have been through some experience in life that affects the moments that follow. It does not mean our trauma is less than someone else and so we should not compare it as if it we are in some contest. Trauma affects different people in different ways, but at the root it finds its home in our body. The body symptoms that may result can be anything from somatization such as conversion disorder all the way to every day health conditions and back pain or sore muscles. If we don't deal with the trauma in our life, the trauma will deal with us.
There is healing if we allow it to enter our life. Sometimes if the only answer you get is that there are no answers, it is time to start turning over rocks that would otherwise remain untouched. Don't settle for a medical world that gives you no answers. Instead, look and search until you find the one that resonates with your life and heals you from the inside out. Don't fall for shiny objects, but look for those things that your body knows to be instinctively true. Your body will guide you if you begin to listen to it. Sometimes the medical world does not have the answers, but please don't stop searching because of this. Go deeper and go further in life, by opening yourself up to possibilities that may be right in front of you.
Blog Post And Images (c) 4/22/12 Don Shetterly - use and reprint by permission only http://www.donshetterly.com You are welcomed to share the link to this blog post, but ask for for permission before reprinting this article. Thanks!