Monday, May 28, 2012

Don't Tell Me It Isn't Possible To Heal

I've been through quite a bit in my life and if you have been reading my blog for any time, that is most likely obvious.  None of these things have been easy and in fact there were times that I never thought I would make it as far as I have today.

For a long time in my life, I had people tell me that I would never get to the point I'm at.  Everyone said, you will always be on antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications.  Most thought I would always suffer from severe depression.  When it came to migraine headaches, no doctor out there ever suggested that I could get past these so that I would not suffer from them for the rest of my life.  During the rash that I had, it seemed like all hope was lost and I there was nothing that could cure me.

When I was in high-school and I had an ulcer (nervous stomach), the doctors didn't tell me that I could cure this.  They only told me to quit worrying and prescribed another pill.  When I had nightmares because of the trauma I had been through, I begged for my life to end.  During the many suicide attempts, I hoped that one day I would be successful.


In addition to all these things, it wasn't that long ago that my body had no desire to trust another person after it had been so violated.  I did not think it was possible to ever feel normal, laugh and smile like others or have a desire to make it in life.  It all seemed like an illusion that was meant for everyone else but me.

I didn't see hope and no one out there, not even when I was paralyzed from a conversion disorder, gave me hope.  Most told me that I had to just learn to live with things, go to physical therapy and hopefully I could manage my life.  Most healing practitioners out there including the medical establishment suggested that I would always be on medication.

Now, I know all of this that I was told by others and believed myself was plain BS!  It seemed plausible at the time because all of these events I have lived through involving PTSD and the trauma that I experienced appeared greater than they were.   When you lost all hope like I had in believing life even mattered, it was easy to buy into the beliefs that were being told.

Fortunately, I have learned that I was more than a bunch of beliefs.  I learned from a first hand account that I had power within my body to heal myself, not just mask the symptoms and hope they would go away.  I found that I no longer needed antidepressants, anti-anxiety, migraine, and stomach medications.  My body was able to heal itself fully and completely, giving me more hope for the future than I had ever thought was possible.

It isn't just myself that has healed from these many physical and mental problems.  Other people I know and have seen and heard about have healed from some extremely traumatic circumstances involving war time PTSD.  The evidence is becoming overwhelming that this is possible.  Don't take my word for it, go check it out and research it.

Is my life all peaches and roses every day?  Nope!  Does that mean I haven't healed?  Nope!  It is about evolving and growing and becoming fully aware of who I am.  It is about evolving into what it means to become human.  Through that process, the challenges may arise, but I know that I have the power within me to effect change, rather than being taken under.

We feed ourselves so many lies in a day because we do not know any better.  However, if we do not begin to question our beliefs about what is possible, we lose site of who we are as a human.  It is not about thinking one way or the other, or seeing life in some special fashion.  It is about changing from the inside out.  We can hold on to our beliefs, or we can evolve by challenging our beliefs.

So, when someone tries to tell me that healing from PTSD, Trauma, Child Abuse, Conversion Disorder, Rashes or anything else is not possible, I can share my experiences and my knowledge of what I have seen in others.  There is no way I can agree with anyone when they say healing is not fully possible because I have seen something different in life.  You can try to convince me all day long, but it would be the same as if I told you the sun never rose in the morning.

I cannot convince anyone that what I say is true.  It is up to each person to find their own path.  The only thing I can do is tell you that it is possible.  There is hope.  In fact, that's why I wrote my book, "Hope And Possibility Through Trauma" because it is a true life story.  We each choose the path we take regardless of what we were given in life to deal with.  What matters is the choices we make today and the choices we make tomorrow.  If we get stuck by our system of beliefs, then our we limit our choices.  There is hope and possibility, but we must first let go and begin our quest for healing on our journey.




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