Monday, January 11, 2016

Dreams Keep Me Awake

Maybe I am sleeping more at night than I realize.  It just seems lately and especially last night that my dreams were keeping me awake.  I can't be certain because it is hard to watch ourselves at night and I think even though we feel like we don't sleep, I have a feeling we do sleep some.

Regardless it seems, these dreams keep me awake.  It wasn't that these were frightening or scary or turned into a nightmare.  Yet, they were about a subject that I would rather not have ruining the hours I can sleep.  It is bad enough in the daytime, but at night, please I beg you dreams, let me sleep.

After some events that I keep seeing come to happen, the dream takes off going to all these childhood homes and places where various events happened.  There are vivid details that I'm not going to share in public, but it is like my only connection to what my memory truly remembers.

I am careful with my memory on these events because I know how things can get twisted and turned around.  Memory is not a linear timeline of every little detail.  Memory is one that drops little bits of facts here and there among the neural system from what I understand.  So, I'm extremely careful with memories and I don't get to entrenched in the smallest details.

Just like last night though on this subject, dreams keep me awake.  It seemed like the details were very true and helped fill in some of the doubts and missing pieces I long for in my life.  I don't think my mind was creating those events as they seemed to just match and feel right.

At least it wasn't a nightmare like I once had.  Although I know that moments like last night can lead to those horrors, I am vigilant and on high alert.  I can only hope that it will just let loose and let me be, not take me under like in times past.

Maybe it is my mind further processing what has happened and if that is so, then these dreams can keep me awake.  If not, then I would kindly request of my mind to please let me sleep peacefully at night.

Blog Post And Images (c) 12/30/15 by Don Shetterly

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