Sunday, January 24, 2016

I Did Not Listen To My Body

I did it again.  I did not listen to my body.  Nope!  I just kept pushing and shoving through, acting as if my body never needed the rest.  Sure, I write about this frequently and after what I've been through, you would think I would have learned by now.  Evidently, the lesson got lost along the way.

Starting up my business, I've been going nonstop. I'm kind of a one man band for the most part and often joke that I wear the hats of Information Technology, Graphic Artist, Human Resources, Accountant, Sales Person, CEO, Manager, janitor, warehouse purchaser and many others.  In fact, it really isn't a joke, because I do all of these things and more.

The only thing is, I knew that as I was approaching Christmas time, things were going to get more intense.  They always do for me.  I've made tremendous progress in this part of my life, but around Christmas, the difficulties I face with family issues weighs hard on me.  You could put a 2000 pound gorilla on top of me and it would not be any more difficult than what I experience.

Regardless, I kept going and pushing my way through it.  I discounted and neglected the signs my body was giving me.  I kept lining up events, working with clients, and doing everything that I could to not stop in any form or fashion or slow down.  Sure, I progressed along quite nicely with my business, but it was at the expense of my health.  I thought a couple of moments rest here and there was plenty.

Unfortunately, I kept ignoring my body.  I kept ignoring it until it said, "hey dude, enough is enough" and that's when it happened.  I got what seemed like the flu and was so tired I could barely keep myself awake.  Abdominal pains that got so intense, I cried out in agony.

Sure, I could have run to the doctor and they most likely would have run tests and prescribed some type of medication.  It might have helped me get over this, but I knew deep inside what was the cause.  The cause was exhaustion and stress.  I had pushed my body way too far.  This isn't the first time I've done this and one time I paralyzed myself as a result of doing this to the extreme.

Maybe I needed to have the lesson replayed to me again because I must not have learned it the first million times.  Now, all I can do is rest and repair and build my strength back up again.  I choose to not use drugs and medications and supplements because I know that if I listen to my body, I have more than I need within me to function in a day.

It wasn't that long ago that I almost did myself in with a job that sucked the life out of me.  I'm still building up and getting over that, so why I thought I could push myself this hard, I still don't understand.  Yes, I know without an income net, the urgency is there, but if I do it at the expense of myself, what will that profit me?

We all do what I just did and then we stop and wonder why we are sick with illness.  We wonder why we have physical issues and complaints.  Even if a doctor tries to explain that it is stress or we are working too hard, we still don't accept it.  Unfortunately, if we would look at the cause/effect of what we do in our days, it would come into view more clearly.

For now, I'm resting and trying to come back up to full speed.  I've got to learn how to regulate my days more and rest.  Yes, the urgency of starting a business is important, but I've got to learn that taking care of myself is as important as the business that comes in.  I can't be there for others if I can't be there for myself.





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