For those who struggle, it is a nightmare.  For those who have had their lives torn apart because a loved one committed suicide, the pain continues.  The questions continue.  Suicide of a loved one often destroys the lives of those left behind.

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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Being In The Moment

After all the turmoil I've been experiencing, I think I'm coming back to the lesson that I have not seemed to fully learn.   I am learning that I just need to be in the moment, not trying to force what I think should happen or not happen.   This is not easy for me.

Being in the moment is tough because I am one of those action type people.  I don't like to sit back and wait for something to come about.  I like to make it happen.  Being in the moment and just allowing it to unfold seems like surrender, confusion, and inaction to me.

Yet, I don't know if that is what being the moment actually is.  I think being in the moment is still about taking action, but following your intuition, your heart, your guts and any other sense that you acknowledge.

It feels like I'm out of control when I am being in the moment.  I dislike being out of control.  It creates great anxiety in me because of being out of control so many years ago in my life.  It feels like a risk to be out of control.

This is at the crux of the issue I face.  To be in the moment, means I have to realize that I cannot do everything.  I cannot bring about every piece that needs to happen.  I cannot bring my comprehension and understand of all the potential possibilities that have not even begun to appear.

However, if I continue to hold the illusion of control while not being in the moment, I'm sure I will just exhaust myself.  It is something I need to find a way to change how I view my world, rather than continue to fight and kick and scream every step of the way.

I share this on this blog today as a way to hold myself accountable.  I share it as a way to help others find their way who may be experiencing the same thing.  By the time this actually posts, who knows what my life will be looking like as I learn to be in the moment.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2/9/16 by Don Shetterly

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