Thursday, February 16, 2012

Triggers In Walmart

Triggers In Walmart

The other day in the store, I had one of those experiences with another shopper that you would just like to forget.  It was in Walmart of all places.  Sometimes that can be a challenge to shop there because it is a wide mix of people who are in a hurry and far too often have very little respect for anyone else.  However, the experience happened right before my eyes and my mind and body didn't recognize it for the trigger it was.

When I got home, I was still fuming and fussing about what had transpired in the store.  I shared it with a couple of friends and in all reality, what I wrote to them was not very respectful to the shoppers in the store.  One friend of mine called me out on it and she was right.  Even though I felt violated, I had no right to talk about the people in the way that I did.

The thing was, I did not even realize just how much I was triggered by this event and how far I escaped out of reality in my mind and body.  It was not until this friend of mine called me out on it, that I began to realize just how big the trigger was for me.  It was like I had gone to some place in outer space and was not even present with what was going on.

I don't want to justify behavior in stores for just being a trigger that people experience.  There are other reasons like a lack of respect, civility and being less then human that propels people into hurtful situations every day.  We see it on the road, in our places of employment, in the stores and in our families.  For some reason, we as humans are forgetting what it means to treat one another as human, as equals or as people who share so much with us.

It is too easy to just react and our nervous systems are sometimes so heightened that when we react this way we cannot even see it in the moment.  It does not make this behavior okay for anyone because each of us makes choices for how we treat others.  Even though someone treats us wrong, it gives us no justification to go out and treat others in disrespect.

I learned a valuable lesson in this experience and that was to be a little more observant of what I say about other people.  If I would not like them to do that to me, regardless of what they did to me, than why should I do it to anyone else?

By the way, the trigger in Walmart was a condescending remark by another person after they had run over my foot with their shopping cart.  Yes, it was enough to make someone upset, but again, there was no need for me to go and spew my anger onto others.

For who knows, someone else may be having a rough day, and a little comment like I made, may cause more damage on down the road.  We just never know what the other person is going through or have experienced in their day.  Next time, I hope to be more aware of the trigger and find another way to react to it that is positive and more beneficial to everyone.  I'll let the other person deal with their own conscience in their actions because that is their choice to make, not mine.

Read more about "Triggers Are Everywhere" (posted 12/27/10)

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1 comment:

  1. Another thought-provoking post, Don. I was just talking to my bf about this very thing the other day - although my perspective is that most of us feel "entitled" to certain things or behaviors such as driving a certain speed, completing our errands in a certain amount of time, or being treated with a certain respect. This entitlement is really just a form of selfish self-absorption and it triggers (as you put it) all kind of reactions and behaviors.

    Anyway, thanks for the reminder to self-monitor my own behavior...






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