Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Conversion Disorder Healing, Part 2

Note:  This is part 2 of a 4 part series.  Read Part 1, first.

It was not that long ago that I found a video on YouTube of someone who was suffering through a conversion disorder.  When I saw that video, I immediately began to cry.  I wasn’t crying for the girl in the video as much as I was crying for myself.  For this video instantly brought up within me, a connection to these horrendous moments of fear, I faced many years ago.  It was a connection to my body and mind of the trauma that I was dealing with from my past as well as these specific moments of early days of paralysis.

To this moment, I cannot even think about the video without tears welling up in my eyes.  It is such a strong connection for me because if you have been through this, you will understand completely.  There is no moment of peace for someone enduring this condition and there is no one that can tell you when these moments will stop.  You are sailing in a big vast ocean all alone on a small life raft and getting tossed and turned in every way possible.

A few years ago, I became acquainted with the work of Dr. Paul Canali in Miami.  His insights into the body, the fear response and how trauma affects every muscle fiber and cell of our body was like a breath of fresh air to me.  I had never encountered anyone that spoke a language my body understood.  Few could even come close to explaining why I had gone through what I did and I found great comfort in the work that I experienced through Dr. Paul Canali (now called Unified Therapy).

Dealing with fear and how it comes up in the body is a big part of this work.  When you have been to hell and back in life, it is not easy to heal all the layers of fear.  I’ve been working on it for some time now and while I’ve made great progress, there are moments when I wonder if I will truly get beyond it.  I know that if I look back at the progress I have made, I can make it through this next leg of my journey.

As part of the healing process, your body goes through shaking and trembling.  In fact, as I have learned, this is the process where the stored energy is being released.  In many ways, the process is similar to what I experienced during my seizure like episodes while I was paralyzed.

Note:  Come back tomorrow for part 3 of this 4 part series.  This is part 2.

Related Blog Posts
1)  Unified Therapy (June 29, 2011)
2)  Recovery From A Conversion Disorder (July 11, 2011)

3)  Danielle's Journey With Conversion Disorder (July 28, 2011)
4)  My Battle With Conversion Disorder (July 27, 2011)

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