Monday, September 12, 2011

Conversion Disorder Healing, Part 1

Note:  This is part 1 of a 4 part series.

Shake, rattle and roll is good if you’re on a dance floor, but when it is everyday life, you might have a different perspective.  Several years ago, I went through a horrible experience called a conversion disorder.  A conversion disorder is when you convert stress and/or trauma in your life into your mind and body.  Conversion disorders generally affect your movement or senses and can cause paralysis.

In the early stages of my experience, the doctors did not know what to do with me.  One thought it was Multiple Sclerosis and another doctor put me on some steroidal medication that caused some horrific reactions.  Others were so confused that they would order test after test, only to send me home as there were no conclusive results.  It didn’t matter that I could not take care of my basic needs or get around my apartment and function in a normal manner.

One of the most horrible things that I endured was that of seizure like conditions.  While I was sitting up in a wheel chair in my apartment or lying down on the makeshift air mattress I used for a bed, these episodes would last as if there was no end in sight.  These moments would get extremely violent with my limbs and body shaking and trembling as if body parts were going to fly off at any moment.  I would lose track of time as these events came and went but most of them lasted anywhere from several minutes to an hour.  The point where the episodes would end was when my body was so tired from exhaustion that no muscle fiber could move an inch.

During these horrendous seizures that I experienced, no one knew what to do for me.  My parents and friends were usually close by, but all they would do is watch from a distance as my body flung in one way or another.  Frightened beyond words, I wanted these things to end.  I wanted my life to end at that moment.  I did not know what was going on nor did I have a clue how to get this cruel nightmare to stop.  Yet, even with people around me trying to care for me, I felt isolated in despair.

Note:  Come back tomorrow for part 2 of this 4 part series.  This is part 1.

Related Blog Posts
1)  Unified Therapy (June 29, 2011)
2)  Recovery From A Conversion Disorder (July 11, 2011)
3)  Danielle's Journey With Conversion Disorder (July 28, 2011)
4)  My Battle With Conversion Disorder (July 27, 2011)

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