Monday, September 19, 2011

Try Not To Engage

More and more, I try not to engage with people when they are spewing vile on the internet.  At one time, I would have gotten in there and rumbled with the best of them.  However, I'm learning that there are far better ways to spend my time.

Most of the time, the people that spew vile are just trying to stoke the fire.  Wow, that almost rhymes!  They really don't want to move forward and they may be wrestling with some issue, but they try to take it out on innocent bystanders.

I saw this scenario play out the past two days in an online chat room of a site I am a member.  The person really didn't not want resolution as much as they thought they needed to air their problem in a place that was not appropriate.  I was trying to nicely ask them to move on because I was tired of seeing the vile repeated over and over.

Unfortunately, I was met with all kinds of name calling and some rather disturbing comments which I did report to the site owners.  I'm still amazed but I just tried to keep my cool and not engage with them.

After all, I've experienced that with my family where if you don't follow their line of narrow thinking, than you are damned and going to hell.  Whether it is church, or politics or just about any normal thought, if you don't line up with them, you will get told.  The last thing I got told was that I was a one issue liberal!  Unfortunately, that is not true, but in my family, truth doesn't matter.

I see this in politics and in the media.  We are so conditioned to respond and make known, our view point.  In fact, the entire news these days is based upon that concept.  No one truly listens to each other.  Each person just shouts, screams and attempts to force their ideas on the other person.

Imagine what this world would be like if we valued each other as people and we practiced love and understanding, rather than hatred and contempt.  Imagine what this world would be like if we truly treated each other as humans, not as something to distrust and disrespect.  Unfortunately though, these things need to start within ourselves.  If we do not love, accept, and respect our self, how will we do this to others?

So the next time you get burned and you want to engage the other person, take a moment and stop.  Step back and look at the bigger picture.  What will be accomplished by this?  Is this truly a situation where someone will learn or is it ego driven where each person has to win?  Most of the time, what we all feel is important, is nothing more than the ego's desire to win.  The more we exercise the ego in this way, the less human we become.

Related Blog Posts
1)  Charades Of Life (Aug 9, 2011)
2)  You Do Unto Yourself (Jul 25, 2011)
3)  Commenting Online Without Thinking (Jun 7, 2011)
4)  We Hear What We Want To Hear (Apr 17, 2011)

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  1. Oh my gosh..I have also had some silly things with web page for the community we lived in. But, you are right..there are some people who are ready to explode and you may just be the reason for it..even if there is none. Also, I think typing on computer, the human affect is not there, so people don't know if it is being said with a kind voice or abnoxious and of course, wherever they are mentally they take it from that point/view..I also try not to write things in such sites any longer..I find it a waste of my time and truly don't want to meet negative people on line or in person. maybe this is an issue one day that will covered by social media, computer etiquette..

  2. The humanless intereaction is something I don't think humans were designed for. I do very little on these sites as well. It just isn't worth it and there's enough negativity in the world without adding to it. I hope as you do that maybe one day there will be an etiquette for computer interactions. Or maybe we can just let the computers interact for us! :)

    1. There already is such an etiquette, but almost nobody actually follows it.






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