Conversion Disorder Myths

I remember years ago when I went through this condition in 1991.  I had no idea what was going on and in the early days, the doctors didn't understand either.  It wasn't until a brave neurologist suspected Conversion Disorder or that my life had experienced so much, that things began to look up.

It would be some time before I realized that "Conversion Disorder" was the condition I had.  In those days, there was no internet to look things up and so instead of focusing on what "Conversion Disorder" was by definition, my doctors started helping me integrate myself back into life and reclaim all my physical and mental abilities that I could.

Even in the early days, I had no clue what was behind what had happened to me.  In fact, the details that came into view later, did not fully form until a good year after I was paralyzed.  Yes, I knew I had experienced a lot of "stress" in life, but I did not realize that this stress was much more involved then I knew in the moment.

Minimizing what I had been through which I believe is a very strong trait of those who suffer with Conversion Disorder, kept me from seeing the whole picture.  I mean, if it would have come into plain view at that moment, I doubt I could have kept myself alive.  I'm not going into details here.  You can read more about that in my book.

There are many myths that people are told which are nothing more than myths in my view.  There are many in the healing world that believe these myths.  These myths hold people back when trying to heal from Conversion Disorder.

As a way to begin helping others find their way back, I've written about Conversion Disorder on another website called Somatosync.  There is one article I published recently, called "10 Myths Of Conversion Disorder" that you can check out.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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032716

Actions Speak Louder

Growing up, I was in a home where there was no shortage of my father lecturing to you for hours.  He acted as if had all the right words and he didn't shy away from telling you what he thought or what you should do or how you should think.

I see the same with my brothers.  Maybe I do the same thing, I don't know but I would like to think that I don't.  If I fail, it isn't because I have not tried to do things differently.  Especially when it comes to religion and issues of the day, my older brother will flat out tell you how wrong you are and how religious he is and how he knows best.

Actions speak louder than words.  Our actions, say much more than we will ever say in words.  Our actions precede us in our communications with others.  So even though you think that your words are correct and right and for all to hear, often your actions speak louder.

We can see this in the politics of our day.  We can see it in the comments that get posted on social media and on websites.  We can see this in almost every aspect of our day.  If we don't see it, then most likely we are living under a rock because it is there.

I am amused and saddened at how much the masses and the leaders of the masses speak as if they know all.  Their actions don't back up their words and in fact, their actions often say the complete opposite of what they are trying to get you to believe.

Too many times, the actions and words do match up to an individual that is not as enlightened as they think they are.  Just because they speak loudly or they seem to have a following, it does not mean they know what they are talking about.  It does not mean everyone has to follow them blindly as they all march to the cliff.

Words are great but they need to be backed up by your action.  If you say you love everyone, but talk down about certain groups, then you may want to re-evaluate what it means to love everyone.  If you say you have the answers, but it is nothing more than your beliefs and opinions, you may want to re-evaluate what truth and answers are.

All too often, those that spout and spew words in a manner that they expect everyone to follow is nothing short of following a clanging symbol.  It might get your attention, but it is not a complete orchestration of music.

Its time that we learn to listen more with one another and to learn how to respect one another more.  There is far too much yelling and screaming and pontificating going on in this world and in this country.

We don't help each other by screaming at one another and telling each other how wrong we are.  We help each other by listening and respecting and loving one another.  Of course, its not merely words that we say which shows this, but our words backed up with action that aligns for everyone's greater good in this world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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031216

Depression Sucks

Some days I don't feel much and other days I feel too much.  Some days I care and other days I could care less.  I feel robbed and cheated and used and abused.  I feel lonely, forsaken, and left alone in this world.

I fight the loneliness, but yet I want to hide in my cave.  I fight the hurt and pain, but yet I can't feel.  I want to love and care, but I've been so hurt that those things feel like sharpened swords flying towards me at high speed.

Depression saddens me, but it is my friend.  Depression is horrible, but at this moment it feels like my solace.  Depression shades everything around me and distorts all that I see.  Depression saddens me.  Depression hurts me.

I see the happy thoughts and I hear the battle cries from all those around me.  The thoughts and cries seem wonderful, if only I didn't live in this darkened world.  I'm reminded of the simple steps to think differently and change my life, but I'm forever chained by depression.

I get up each day, fighting and hoping that things will be different.  I get up each day hoping that depression will have vanished in the night.  I get up each day just hoping and wishing and begging that this will have been one horrible nightmare last night.

Depression sucks.  Depression is horrible.  Depression is like chains that bind you to the point of living a life unlike the one you desire.

I so badly want to flee depression.  I so energetically try to flee depression.  Yet, as I look behind me, I see depression pushing me forward.

Why can't I just stop and punch it in the face?  Why can't I just stop and obliterate it so that it never follows me again.

Why, I ask?

Why?

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030816

Neuroscience In The News On March 28

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about March madness and mirror neurons, pain reduced by meditation and the effect of anxiety on bad decision making.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning March 28, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from March 21, 2016

March Madness and Mirror Neurons

Indeed, our brains contain mirror neurons in a number of brain areas. These brain cells fire when I see you waving at me and also when I am waving back at you. Mirror neurons pepper many brain areas that control our movements, from grasping to reaching to moving our eyes.

When we watch the players battling on the court, cutting across the defense with a no-look pass, shooting from the three-point line or blocking a shot of another player, mirror neurons make us literally feel what the player is feeling (to a milder degree, of course). Our brains are reenacting internally what we watch. It is as if we are almost playing the game ourselves.

Article Link:

• The Science Behind Our Love For March Madness
• Reported in the Washington Post on March 17, 2016

Can Meditation Reduce Pain?

A report finds when it comes to treating pain, meditation may provide drug-free relief. The study in the Journal of Neuroscience used a heated probe to inflict pain on a group of volunteers. Participants said meditation reduced the pain by as much as 24-percent. SOURCE – Journal of Neuroscience/MedDay/CBS

Article Link:

• Can Meditation Reduce Pain
• SOURCE – Journal of Neuroscience/MedDay/CBS

Anxiety And Bad Decision Making

Moghaddam and her team note that previous research investigating the effects of anxiety on the brain has primarily focused on the emotional response, such as how the brain cells of animal models respond to threatening situations.

Anxiety does not only have emotional implications for humans; it can also negatively impact everyday life, from preventing a person going to work, to interfering with personal relationships.

Article Link:

• Anxiety May Lead To Bad Decision Making
• Source:  Medical News Today
• Bita Moghaddam, Department of Neuroscience at the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania

The 99 Percent With Trevor Marty

One of my good friends, Trevor Marty wrote a song that says so much.  He titled it 99% (99 percent).  I'm not going to give away the details of it here because you can read his more eloquent version of it on his blog.

It comes from a time where he was part of the protest for the 99% and whatever you think of that, I support those that stand up for what matters.  I think his song and lyrics makes excellent points and I'm encouraged by those that show up to the arena as Brene Brown would say.

In the movie, "I Am" by Tom Shadyac the entire premise is about how we can make a difference in a world where greed and power and control have run amuck.  There is more to the movie than this.  One point the movie makes though is if we all work together, society survives.  If we try to accumulate the most, society is doomed to fail.

Please take a moment and check out his blog post and song.  He is a very talented singer, song writer, and guitarist.  He is extremely insightful and cares deeply about the world he lives in.  His name is Trevor Marty.

Check out his Blog Post on this song.  TrevorMarty.Blogspot.com

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030716

Do Antidepressants Work

I'm not a big believer in medication or pills of any kind.  I never have been and that started way back when I was a little kid.  Even in my career with animals, I always tried to find other ways to treat sick animals and keep them well without using medication and vaccines.  We live in an over-medicated society both with humans and animals.

While I am not a big supporter of medications, I do believe there are times that we need things to help us through difficult times of our life.  As I say that, I'm perplexed because what one person thinks is a bad time versus how another person sees these difficult moments is so different that I think it is hard to be objective.

Do Antidepressants work?  

Are Antidepressants bad ?  

These are tough questions and what I write is not necessarily based upon objective scientific research data that I can summarize.  It is based upon my own life's experiences.  I'm not speaking from a pie-in-the-sky concept, but one that has helped me in my own life. 

Do Antidepressants Work?

It depends upon who you talk to if antidepressants work.  Pharmaceutical companies and many medical doctors will claim they work with data to back up their claims.  Others in the new age or alternative industry will claim that they do very little.  Some people will claim they are nothing more than the placebo effect.

Keep in mind that the pharmaceutical companies are trying to market and make a profit off of the antidepressants.  This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it has gotten carried away in our day and age.  I personally feel too many medical professionals are compromised because there is far too much money and perks thrown at them by the pharmaceutical companies.  Most likely there is a great deal of peer pressure as well and many individuals also demand that their doctors give them these medications.

Some people will state that you can do the same with your mind that the antidepressant can do in your mind.  While I don't discount that, it is far more difficult for people who are severely depressed to do this on their own will and accord.  When you are in that deep state of depression, nothing matters in life and changing how your mind sees things is not something you can easily do.

Are Antidepressants Bad For You

There are many side effects from taking antidepressants and they are not fun.  Ask anyone taking medications about side effects and most likely they will tell you how awful they are.  I fully believe that any drug or pill or medication you take that alters one system in the body, damages or degrades or alters another system in the body.

If we were meant to take these pills like this, I think we would have been born with them in our hands.  On the other hand, we do have doctors that exist to help us through life's problems.  I just don't believe you can categorically state that antidepressants are bad for you overall.  It depends upon the person.

One horrible mistake we make in our society with medications and antidepressants is that we look to them as the treat-all and end-all for our condition.  We gulp them down as if this tiny drug will magically make our life better and we in no way need to do anything else to help change our life.  We don't change our ways.  We don't alter what we do.  We just take the pill and go on about our life with the same patterns, choices, and awareness that brought us to this point.

While some new age and alternative therapies want to act as if all antidepressants are bad, they are forgetting one thing.  The individual that does not have the tools or the resources to help them through a rough part of life, needs something that will help temporarily.  The individual needs something to be able to get back on their feet and in lieu of the tools or resources, antidepressants can help.  Again, I say this with the assumption that the individual is seeking out other ways to work on their life and making choices that lifts them into a different awareness in life.

My Experience With Antidepressants

When I went through Conversion Disorder, my doctor wanted to put me on medication.  I fought him hard on this because my family told me that the doctors would brainwash me if I went on medication.  So, my doctor made a deal with me that we would try it my way (without antidepressants and medication) and if it didn't work, we would try it his way.  I made it all the way until I was discharged from the hospital and once the real world hit me, I had no choice but to go on medications.

I had unusual experiences with antidepressants where I didn't know what to expect, but I thought the sensations and feelings I was getting after being on the medications for a few weeks were somehow bad for me.  Little did I know that this is how life was supposed to be and without antidepressants, I would have never discovered that part of life.  They helped me so much but at the same time, I was doing extensive therapy work on myself.  I was not just relying on the drugs and medications to be a magic wand.  I did not stay on these for more than 2 or 3 years which I think is a good thing.

Fast-forward many years where more was beginning to surface in my life and each day I was seeking ways to actively commit suicide.  I started seeing a therapist and she suggested that I start taking antidepressants again.  At this point in my life, they helped me deal with what was going on so that I would stop trying to kill myself.  It was then that I could focus more on therapy and working through the issues I had to deal with in my life.  Without antidepressants, I'm not sure I would be alive.

As I have continued my healing in this life, I have found other ways to deal with depression, anxiety, and all the issues I have had to deal with throughout my life.  It is a different form of work, but one that takes you deep internally and makes the connection between what you feel in the body and how the mind connects to it.  It has been a challenging process, but one that now allows me the tools to deal with what comes up, even if I sink down into despair for a short period of time.

Our Choices With Antidepressants

We all have to make choices in how we treat ourselves and what paradigms we hold on to or let go of in our life.  We can embrace a medication lifestyle or we can embrace a life where we get to know ourselves intimately in an internal sort of way.  The answers we need are not in a pill, medication, procedure or the advice of some other person.  These things may help us get to the answers, but ultimately the answers are within us.  We just have to stop and find them!  Unfortunately today in our society, we fail to go inside for the answers.

Feel free to ask questions if you want and I will try to answer them from my own experience.  No matter what, if you are in a bad spot in life, please seek help.  Get informed so that you make the best choices for your life.

This blog post is not medical advice.  It is more about my experience and what worked for me.  You need to seek the advice of a medical professional before making any decisions based upon the information I have shared in this blog post.

You may also want to check out my book that details some of what I went through in life.  I am working on a second book that shares a different side of the torture and trauma I experienced.  Check out my book on Amazon, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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030716

If You Shun The Negative People

I see this going around social media all the time and it really makes me want to puke.  Yep, I mean puke!  Everyone is telling others to "shun the negative people" or "drop the negative people" or "avoid the negative people" in their life.  Unfortunately, I'm wondering how much less human can you become.

First off, who are you to judge which person is negative or not and to what degree can they be negative about their life.  Did you get a certificate or blessing from God to be able to do this?  Maybe you were anointed as the one that knows all and can classify this person or that person as a negative one, while another is not negative.  Maybe you think I'm negative by writing this. 

Second, if you ditch and drop and avoid the negative people, what will you have left in this world.  I don't see anyone out there that doesn't have negative parts of their life.  So, does the negative have to be at a certain percentage before you drop, avoid, and discard them or is that subject to how you feel about them?

Third, maybe someone that seems negative to you is having a rough time in life and they really need a helping hand to steady them along their current part of their path.  Maybe they are reaching out in the only way they know how.  However, you in your ultimate wisdom and condescension see them as less than and not deserving this part of life.  Your judgment precludes you from caring about them.

Yes, I know that we all have our own paths of difficulty to walk in this world.  Most if not all of us are blinded by our own deficiencies while we point out those in everyone around us.  Most, if not all of us think that we have the whole world together while others are losers and horrible people.

Consider this though, what if you reached your hand out in love and compassion, rather than judgment and critique?  What if you reached out to wrap your arms of love around someone that was struggling hard in life?  Don't you think that would make a difference in their life?

Instead of judging and shunning or avoiding the negative people, try being human.  Try connecting with the pain others are feeling so that maybe you as well as them will be healed.  Most likely, if someone is bugging you or you think you want to avoid them, they are in your life for a reason.  You can of course choose to avoid, shun, or drop them, but there goes what you're supposed to learn from them.

The world is hurting and it definitely does not need more judgment with less compassion.  We have real issues on this planet and the last thing we need to do is shun who we determine are the negative people in this world.  When we do that, we are not helping the world.  We are only hurting every person.

After I wrote this, I realized that I had written something similar days before.  Rather than deleting this, I am leaving it up here because it is too important of a topic to take down.  I'm seeing this subject so much, that I feel like it is 100% necessary to counteract the negativity of shunning negative people that it needs to be reiterated. 

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030616

The Jail We Live In

So on a conference call with Christie Marie Sheldon today, a topic that came up was one that kind of made me sit up and think.  The call was about unlimited abundance.  She was sharing how we build the jail that we live in and that keeps us living in a world that really is not meant for us.  So, why don't we let ourselves out of the jail we have built for our life?

I don't know about other people, but if I stop and think about that in my own life, I can see how I have many jails that I live in.  I have built them up through all the hurts, pains, stresses, and abuse I've endured.  Some of the parts of the jail I have really fortified more than others.

Maybe its not always easy for us to take a look at and clearly see just how much of a jail we have built for our life.  Yet, its all too easy to go through life thinking that this person or that one, this situation or another, this group or government is holding us back.  They are the ones that are responsible for our lot in life we exclaim.

Yet, it isn't those other people or groups or places or things that are responsible.  It is our own doing.  We create our life one step at a time, one steel bar at a time, one cement block at a time and one day at a time.  We create our life through our actions and thoughts and our shortcomings we focus on.  We create our life and the jail we live in by how we deal with all that has taken place.

Maybe we aren't one that complains and blames others, but yet we don't live our life because we feel we "HAVE TO" have the job we have, the house we have or the life we have.  We feel that we are locked into a life that we have little choice, because what would happen if we gave all of that up and let it go?  We too have built our own jail, even if it is a different jail.

Maybe we are a person that just doesn't see our life as enough or our self as enough.  We see through the cloudy dirty lenses of being less than and everyone else having it much easier or they are more talented or more gifted.  We see our shortcomings as if they are monstrous mountains before us, when they are just from the microscopes we peer through.  We have built our own jail that we live in by not seeing ourselves as all that we are.

I know, its not easy finding our way through life and we often carry so much baggage with us from days and years gone by.  The unfortunate thing though is that we are creating the jail we live in.  We are and have created the life that we currently know.

It isn't too late, because as Christie Marie Sheldon explained today, we can choose to let that go and unlock the door of our jail in our life.  We can make the choice to step out of the jail and into the life that is ours.  It is the life that we are meant to live, not the one that we have confined ourselves to for all the days of our life.

The more we lock ourselves up in the jail we have built for our life, the more we block the flow of all that is good coming into our life.  This includes unlimited abundance which is what Christie Marie Sheldon was sharing.

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030516

Phantom Voices And Moving Pictures

I have no idea what is going on and no, I'm not in the freak-out frightened mindset either.  I just find some of these things unusual and if it was only one, I would quickly dismiss it.  However, there are just some strange things happening in the house that I refer to as phantom.  I don't have a better word for it.

Yes, I've had the phantom doorbell and phone ringing sounds happen in the past.  I've written about them on this blog and for the most part, they quit just as quickly as they came.  We've lived here for many years, so it isn't like this is a new place we came to live.  I have had a lot of stressful moments and I have been dealing with a tremendous amount of difficulties in life.

It was just about two weeks ago when I heard a phantom voice.  A voice actually startled me out of my sleep saying "hey there".  Now, it was not a frightening voice or one that scared me.  It just came as a surprise and startled me awake as if someone was trying to wake me up.  It was a very monotone voice without any inflection of emotion.

The other night, I had the phantom sound of a ringing phone return.  In this case, it sounded like a cell phone but with a ringtone that I don't use.  I didn't get up to go see if anyone was on the phone because I was basically in that real deep sleep state.  I just could hear the phone ring a couple of times.  Of course, when I got up the next morning, there were no phone calls showing up on my cell phone.

Last night, I came home and another phantom thing happened.  It was a picture that fell off the wall.  The way the picture was situated on my desk, it was like someone almost took it down from the wall, turned it over and leaned it up on my desk.  The way this picture is hung on the wall, there is no way it could have just fallen off and no one was home or in the house at the time it happened.  It was turned over close to where it came off the wall, but with what is on my desk, there is no way it could have risen up off the wall hanger and fallen off.  Nothing else was disturbed in the house or on my desk.

It feels like "someone" or "something" is trying to get my attention.  What this is about is a mystery to me at the moment.  It isn't the first time things like this has happened to me in life, but for the life of me, I wish whatever or whoever was trying to communicate, would do it in a way that made sense and I understood.

I'm not going to get all freaky and think its ghosts or zombies or spirits or whatever.  I'm not going to sit here and think that it is my imagination either because there are too many things happening that makes me believe, it is more than my imagination.

For now, my question I send out to the universe is what is the purpose and reason for all of this?  Why are these phantom sounds, phones and voices showing up?  Why did my picture get taken off the wall?  Please, enlighten me and show me why all of this is happening and the purpose of it.

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030516

Eliminating Toxic People Is Wrong

I see this subject come up all the time.  People urge others to eliminate toxic people from their lives.  Actually I believe this is wrong and it is anything but human to call for this action.

Exactly who are toxic people?  Are they ones that you disagree with and who voices their disagreement?  Are they ones that are struggling and trying to hang on for another day, but their words and thoughts are difficult to be around?  Are they ones that say things that make you uncomfortable, although they may be true?  Maybe it is people that just think differently, act differently, look differently or are different than you.

I mean, if we start classifying people into toxic or nontoxic, do we make it easier for our pious selves to function in this society?  Do we think we are that much better than others that they need to be "shunned" from our existence?

I realize my words are strong right now, but I feel like I need to give a wake up call.  If I'm hitting the sore points for you, please know that I love you like everyone else that I love.  

There are people that are hurting and they need a helping hand.  They don't need the judgment of others who somehow deem themselves to be more advanced and enlightened.  They don't need someone telling them how awful they are for they already know this.

Yet, if you want to eliminate toxic people from your life, I really think you're doing nothing more than hiding your own head in the sand.  You can't deal with your own life, so you tell others to flee from you.  You say, "you're not welcome in my world because something is wrong with you."

Am I being harsh?  Most likely I am.  I'm not telling you that you have to spend all your time around those that drive you nuts or drag you down into the muck with them.

If we are truly human, we will take care of the gunk in our own lives so we can be there for others.  It doesn't mean we have to wallow in the muck, but we can't sit in our own white garments of enlightenment acting all superior over our fellow humans.

Try being human by stopping the constant propagation of meaningless memes on social media and truly being there for someone.  Often they don't need your propaganda and memes.  They usually just need to know that someone is walking beside them, ready to hold their hand if they need it.  It is not words, but action that is needed.

Far too many of us in this world are so pious and self-absorbed that we cannot be there for others.  So, we come up with convoluted ways to tell others to be more like us - so that we feel better about our lives.  Yet, instead of chastising the world, try to be real and uplifting to the world as a result.

Now, I'm climbing down off my own soapbox for the day.  Come back another day to see me climb back up on it.

One last thought though - we really do need each other to be there for us.  Its what truly makes this world go around.  Instead of having the desire to eliminate toxic people, try allowing your heart to hold their hand and help lift them up out of the pain they live in.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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030616

Neuroscience In The News On March 21

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about the violent behavior in the brain, theta rhythm and neural activity, and neuroscientists studying how our brain controls our hands .

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning March 21, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from March 14, 2016

Violent Behavior In The Brain

The warning signs of premeditated violence turn up in the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that also regulates temperature, hunger and sleep. Specifically, the ventrolateral part of the ventromedial hypothalamus, or VMHvl, is the area responsible for our ill will.

The latest study continues a thread of research probing the neurological roots of aggression. Last month, the same scientists identified what they described as the origin of rage in the male animal brain. Damage to the lateral septum, a part of the brain linked to control of anxiety and fear, triggers a domino effect in the brain that leads to "septal rage," or outbursts of unprovoked violence.

Article Link:

• Scientists Identify The Roots Of Violent Behavior In The Brain
• Reported in Mashable 03/09/16
• Dayu Lin, Neuroscience Institute at NYU Langone.

Theta Rhythm And Neural Activity

For the brain to function correctly, the activities of multiple regions must be coordinated. This coordination is thought to be carried out by waves of electrical activity in the brain. One of the most prominent signals within these waves is called the theta rhythm.

The theta rhythm is thought to help coordinate neural activity between the regions of the brain that are involved in learning and memory. However, theta rhythms also appear when subjects encounter emotional stimuli, which suggests that they might have a role in social cognition.

Article Link:

• Different types of theta rhythmicity are induced by social and fearful stimuli in a network associated with social memory
• Alex Tendler, Shlomo Wagner - University of Haifa, Israel

How Brains Control Our Hands

Diedrichsen needs as much imaging technology as he can get, given the magnitude of the mystery around what he’s studying. For example, his research has found that electrical stimulation to the brain can help motor training—in a double-blinded study published in 2014, subjects who were zapped with weak currents performed 20 percent better than those who were not, and the effect lasted for a month—but the reasons why still aren’t clear.

Scientists have already built bionic limbs that patients can control with their minds. But they still aren’t very good. “Our body is a complete engineering nightmare. Our muscles fatigue. Our tendons are sloppy and hard to control. We have good sensors in our fingertips, but they’re not reliable,” Diedrichsen said. “The brain makes really amazing things out of a quite poorly engineered physical plan.” 

Article Link:

• The Neuroscientist Studying How Our Brains Control Our Hands
• Ohio State
• Jörn Diedrichsen at Western University, London, Ontario

Feeling Alive Or Numb

We all have those moments in life where things just get to be too much.  We become overwhelmed by experiences, stress, and past trauma to the point where we go numb.  I doubt any human can experience life without going through at some point or dealing with it at various times of their life.

Feeling Alive or Numb is an article that I wrote for a local healing magazine called "Natural Awakenings" and I have put this online so you can read what was written for the publication.  I have put this article up on my sister website, Somatosync.com

There are many ways we numb our body and most of us humans are numb to some degree in our day.  While we may not want to believe that is true, it really is.  In fact, if you felt 100% of everything in your day, you would never make it through your day.  So, in many ways we are oblivious to what is going on until something wakes us up.

While numbing can be difficult and take us down, there is a way to come out of numbing.  I'll let you read the article on Somatosync for more information.

Article:  Feeling Alive Or Numb

 

You may also want to read the article on some of The Ways We Numb The Body.

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030216

Loneliness And The Brain

This is definitely something I struggle with in my own life.  Loneliness is not easy to overcome and I've fought it as far back as I can remember.  There are several factors in my own life why loneliness is such an issue for me.

I wish I could remember the name of a film we watched in grade school many years ago.  I don't recall much of it now because I was so young at the time, but I really identified with the kid in the film.  For some reason, the thought I came away from it and remembered was that you could die if you were lonely.  Now, I'm not so sure that was the intent of the film, but it is what my mind remembers.

Growing up in my family, I was often thrown to the side for various reasons.  There is the time that my mom chose my dad over me when he had hepatitis in the hospital and for some reason I was in the hospital being taken care of by nurses.  Also, the times where I got locked in a closet by a babysitter so she didn't have to worry about me.  My brothers also stole the show and caused my parents to spend more time with them, leaving me to fend for myself and figure life out on my own.

The chaos of our house made it difficult to form relationships in the family because if you weren't getting abused, molested, or tortured, you were tip-toeing around on eggshells trying to not be noticed.  In addition, we moved so many times before I graduated from high school that I barely had a best friend for very long.  I was taught to not trust friends because then they might learn the family secrets.

All of these things made loneliness one of my best companions.  Yes, I had my dogs and cats, but they too were killed and removed from me by the monsters in my life.  I had my sheep and hogs in high school, but there would always be some reason that my parents would come up with to get rid of them.

To this day, I struggle with loneliness.  I have very few true friends and one of them that I had known almost the longest passed away from pneumonia.  I'm so afraid that everyone I know will either leave me, find an excuse to avoid me, or will end up dying and not be there for me.  I'm being brutally honest here because this is what I experience.

Reading the article from the work that John Cacioppo is doing on loneliness, was something refreshing for me to read.  I did not realize anyone was even looking at the topic. In his work at the University of Chicago, he looks at what happens to the brain when the social connections are missing.

One of the points that he makes is you can have too many social connections.  If you have too many, it can end up being that many of these connections are not motivated by the right things.  Sometimes fewer connections are better. 

I find it amazing that 25% of Americans according to his book have no confidant at all in their life.  While it is hard to determine how many confidants are ideal, one is better than zero and two is better than one.

Even being a client of a professional therapist is not enough.  It may provide a person that is someone you can confide in, but it is a one-way street.  It doesn't allow you to have that rich reciprocal bond.  It takes a two-way relationship for our connection to be strong and effective.

According to John Cacioppo's research, one in four people regularly feel lonely.  Chronic loneliness increases the odds of an early death by 20%.  Loneliness decreases the effectiveness of sleep.

In the article, Loneliness Is Like An Iceberg, just putting lonely people together does not work because it confuses the idea of loneliness with the fact of being alone.  Just focusing on social skills is not going to do too much because a lonely person is focused on self-preservation.  It is not the answer to just give lonely people support of the people around them because it takes reciprocal connections.

The one treatment that did seem to help was changing how lonely people think about other people.  Helping them to understand what happens when their brain goes into self-preservation mode is an effective way for helping give lonely people a chance at overcoming this struggle.

Too often in our world, we want to run over those that seem weaker or who are more outcast.  Instead of getting to know them and understand what makes them tick, we sentence them to a life of loneliness.  When you combine that with loss and trauma in the life of a lonely person, you're only casting them to the outer darkness of society.

I believe these are important conversations to have because if we want to survive as a species on this planet, we cannot go through life ignoring the people who are lonely.  We need to be a species that you don't house alone, but that you put together for the greater good of society and our planet.

As I stated in the beginning, I still struggle with the issue of loneliness and I feel all alone.

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Onions Make Me Sick

I used to love the taste but not anymore.  I'm talking about onions because they make me sick.  Too many places out there that serve food think that the more onions they put in food, the better it is.  However, for those of us that onions make you sick, it is a nightmare.

I can tolerate a small minute amount of onions finally.  For some time, I could not even tolerate them at all.  However, a food place we went to this evening decided that they were going to make a salad with mostly onions and a few pieces of lettuce.  I should have known at that point.

The next thing was the main dish.  It started out tasting good but there was a strong taste in it that I didn't recognize.  Finally I put two and two together and realized it was laced with so many onions.  I could not even finish the dish because the taste and smell of the onions was nauseating me.

Within a few more minutes, I could feel a burning in my throat.  In addition, it was not like I couldn't breathe, but my throat was swollen and breathing was much more difficult.  As I write this, my stomach feels nauseated.  The continued taste and smell of the onion in my mouth is not making things easy.

Why do these food places think that if a little onion is good, then more is better.  Sure, I know it is a "healthy food", but if it makes you violently sick to your stomach and keeps you from breathing, then how healthy is that?  Most food places don't get it either.

Its hard to find a lot of packaged products without onions.  Again, the food manufacturers go hog wild in putting onion in stuff.  I'm surprised they don't put it in bottled water because I think it is in just about everything else.

I've learned to cook a lot of foods just so they don't have onion in it.  Its the only way most of the time.  At times I can tolerate a little onion and at other times, it makes me so sick for days.

What gets me though is the over-use of onions in cooking, both in restaurants and in just about everything you buy.  Not everything out there needs onions!  You can make delicious dishes without it.

What is even more sad is that places could care less if onions are horrible for you or not.  Things that you would not think have onions in it, do have them.  Trying to find that out sometimes is difficult at best.  I've went round and round with Sweet Tomatoes only to be pretty much told, get lost.  I've learned that even if I don't think something would have onions in it, I ask if it does.  Sometimes the staff knows and often they do not!

I don't want everyone else to suffer because I can't eat onions, but I would at least like to see these food restaurants and manufacturers actually learn how to cook, not just drench the food with heavy spices.  I would like to see them notate what ingredients are in dishes you order and foods you buy.  That should be the bare minimum.

Of course though, in our society we just could care less about situations like I go through.  We think it is good for us and that's as far as our brain functions.  If you're a person though that suffers with a food allergy or sensitivity, its no fun going through it.

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030116

Phantom Voices At Night In My Sleep

I'm not crazy.  I'm not one of those people that are un-grounded.  I'm not one of those people that others roll their eyes at.  Yet, at times there are strange things that happen in my life that I cannot fully explain.

No, I don't try to make up explanation and give the normal woo woo gobbledygook that others say.  What you read here on this blog is what happens and nothing more.  I'm careful about going into never never land and creating a story.  I don't think that is useful to anyone.

Just like I shared in a past blog post about Phantom Doorbell Ringing, I never thought in a million years that others experienced this.  In fact it has shocked me to no end, just how many other people resonated with that blog post.  In fact, when I first wrote that, I thought I was crazy for posting it to my blog.

Lately, I've been going through all kinds of difficult situations in life.  Its been tough.  I feel all alone in this world at times.  I feel confused, lost, and struggling hard to keep my footing on this path.  Yet, I know there has to be more and that's what keeps me going.  Don't ask me how I know because I could not even begin to explain it.

Last night though, I had one of those moments that woke me up.  Actually, it startled me awake.  I don't get those too often, but it was some voice saying loud enough, "hey there".  It wasn't anyone yelling, but the voice was just loud enough you could not mistake hearing what it said.  It was not a voice I recognized or was familiar.

What this means is beyond me.  I have no clue.  It makes absolutely no sense just like hearing the phantom doorbell ringing or the music that plays from a different dimension.  It makes no sense.

I'm posting this online because maybe others have heard voices like this.  I swear, it was just as if someone was standing close to me and talking to me.  In some ways, I think it creeps me out.

In my mind, there are many things that we don't understand.  Some may want to make up believable explanations, but often those just don't quite add up for me.  I apologize if that offends anyone, but its the way I see things.

Hearing phantom voices at night is strange to me.  I know its happened in the past and usually associated with a nightmare.  This one though doesn't seem to be associated with anything in particular.

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022816

Wondering What My Mom Knew About The Abusers

I always wondered just how much my mom knew about what my dad was doing to us.  How he was abusing and raping and molesting us.  I know, its the family secrets I'm not supposed to talk about in life.  You know what though?  I think its time I say to "hell" with keeping my mouth shut.

There was so much going on and so much I faced growing up.  You can read more about that in my book, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.  While it doesn't share all the details, you will get a better understanding of what transpired.

The nagging question always stuck in the back of my mind was how much did my Mom know.  She is dead from being the passenger of a car accident where my dad was driving.  So, there's no way to ask her now and get a real life answer.

Reading through some old letters as I prepare to write my next book, I could see some little indications that either she was so oblivious to what her husband was doing to his children or she just didn't want to know.  I still can't remember the time she didn't put two and two together when she walked in on a molesting session of my older brother.  Yet, another time I was forced to masturbate him.

It's sickening to say the least.  I've done a lot of extensive healing and work on it, but there are still many miles to go.  My family thinks I'm the one that went nuts.  My older brother is some "holier-than-thou" religious person that seems to hate everyone that disagrees with him.  I believe my Dad is in his last days of sickness in this world.  My younger brother is there, but has too much anger built up for me to connect with him.

The rest of the family just keeps their distance. I no longer have contact with friends of the family and the ones that are even remotely connected, seem to keep their distance from me and the subject.

When you're a victim of child abuse, you not only suffer as you are going through it, but you suffer as you're trying to heal from it and put your life back together.  You live with it every day of your life and although you work to heal and put it behind you, its there nagging and gnawing at the very essence of your life.

I'll never get the answer of what my mom knew and if she did, why she didn't flee the mother-F'r!  Yes, I know the monster beat the living crap out of her and she was afraid of him.  She didn't believe in herself enough to protect her own children.

What my mom knew will remain a mystery.  I guess if I realized she did know, then my curiosity would evolve to asking questions like, why didn't she save us?

The one thing I've learned in the healing journey of child abuse is there are never answers that make sense and add up.  There are never logical explanations to what happened.  There are never the answers that you can obtain and if you do, there is no easy way to deal with them.

The letters I received treated me as if I was the one with the problem.  I was the one brainwashed and coached on how to blame my parents.  As my mom said in the one of the letters, "psychiatrists always look for someone for their patients to blame to make them feel better".  RIGHT!  In my case, that never happened.  It doesn't stop the family from blaming you though.

I'm rambling now it seems.  I'm just dealing with this deeper level of pain and hurt wrapped in a thick warm layer of anger.  To this day, I can't make sense out of it and I know that this is how it works.  I just have a hard time convincing myself that there is only so much I can do.

I'm writing to share the pain in hopes it helps someone else feel not so alone.  I'm writing to help soothe my pain and let my words form into a soothing balm.  I'm writing so my brain can attempt to make sense of that which is almost impossible to make sense out of in this mess.

There are always questions but never enough answers.  Its the family secrets that prevent those answers from seeing the light of day.

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022816

Do Not Judge

I'm always intrigued by people who purport to follow the bible, but yet they don't heed what they preach.  They push their beliefs on others, but they avoid putting themselves under their own microscope.  They proclaim that they are forgiven and so this applies to everyone else, not them.

One area I see this repeatedly is in the judgment of others.  Whether it is a political race or family members, friends or social media acquaintances, judging others seems to be what people do best.  It is what followers of the bible seem to do best.

In Luke 6:37 it says, " Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.  Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

At no point in this scripture passage does it say that judging others is a good thing.  At no point in there does it say that judging is your first priority in life and all other endeavors should fall by the wayside.  At no point does it say that you should judge others or condemn others.

In fact, if you follow the bible, you should be forgiving others more than condemning and judging them.  You should be accepting them as they are, not as you think they should be.  You should not be playing the role of the God you worship by acting as if you can judge others.

I grew up in a family where judgment was the norm of the day.  No, we didn't claim it was judgment or condemnation.  We didn't see that we were judging others.  We didn't even know that we were judging and condemning.  Yet, we practiced it as if it was the only precept in life to follow.

When we got home from church, it was that gossip that we shared that was judging those we rolled our eyes at.  Sometimes, we didn't even wait until we got home from church.  The judgment was in those prayer meetings where someone would go on and on about another member almost as if they were preaching to them.  The condemnation was whispered in the hallways of the church.

Judgment and condemnation was so common place that if someone didn't attend the church we went to, we were taught to consider them lost and going to hell.  If someone went into a place of business we did not think was almighty righteous, then we were taught they were going to hell.  If someone did not say the things we felt they should say or listen to the music that we felt they should listen to, we were taught they were going to hell.

If you did not want to be condemned and judged, then there was an unwritten code in the family and church that you would follow.  Often the rules were made up on the spot with the father of the family or the pastor of the church making the determination of who was right and who was wrong.  They were the judge.  You learned to follow the rules so you would not be judged and condemned.

In these days, I see so many judging and condemning others.  Whether it is issues concerning gays or if someone is a patriot or a liberal or conservative, anyone who disagrees with the religious pharisees of our day are considered lost and going to hell.  They are judged and condemned.

The thing I don't understand though is Jesus also said, "love one another as I have loved you".  Love is not condemnation or judgment.  Love is acceptance in the purest form without strings attached.

So if the religious pharisees of our day claim that they follow the bible and they follow God or Jesus, would they not be obliged to stop judging and condemning one another.  Would they not be obliged to live their life loving one another, rather than spewing the hatred that they so strongly dish out?  Maybe they are so blind that they cannot see this.

Do not judge is an area the entire world could do better.  Do not judge could be more helpful for the overall survival of our civilization and planet.  Do not judge or condemn could actually help us to work together for a common good.

Maybe if we are going to judge one another and claim the good book tells us to do this, we might just want to read what it says before we go hitting each other over the head with it.  I don't believe the bible's intended purpose is of hitting people out of judgment and condemnation.

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Neuroscience In The News On March 14

These are articles that I found of interest relating to news about Neuroscience.  In this issue, I have highlighted articles about the individual nerves of a 520 year old fossil, how dopamine helps us avoid unpleasant experiences and how long term stress causes inflammation in our brain.

Please check out the article links below and feel free to comment with other information related to these subjects.  I enjoy learning as much as I can about the brain and passing this information on to everyone else that shares these passions.

This is for the week beginning March 14, 2016.

Please come back each week and hopefully I will have some more highlights.  Feel free to share with me ones that you have found and I may highlight those as well.

Feel free to check out the highlighted articles from March 7, 2016

Individual Nerves Of 520 Year Old Fossil

The nervous system of one 520 million-year-old specimen shows some of the best and most well-preserved nerves ever seen in an animal of that era. The fossil may be the oldest and most detailed example of a central nervous system yet identified, with even individual nerves -- rarely preserved soft tissue -- visible enough to study.

Article Link:

• Exquisitely detailed 520 Million Year Old Fossil
• Reported in the Washington Post on March 1, 2016

Dopamine Helps To Avoid The Unpleasant

We showed in mice that a special circuit in the hippocampus has flexibility in combining with environmental input to shape behavior during an experiment in which the mice learn to avoid an unpleasant experience," Dani said. "This is the first time that we have been able to show, as proof of principle, that the dopamine circuitry is also involved in learning to avoid aversive situations.

Article Link:

• Dopanmine, The Brain's Reward Also Helps Avoid Unpleasant Experience
• Dr. John Dani, University Of Pennsylvania School Of Medicine

Long Term Stress

Long-term stress can cause memory loss and inflammation in the brain - and the immune system is to blame.

This led to the conclusion that post-stress memory trouble is directly linked to inflammation, and the immune system, rather than brain damage.

Chronic stress causes the brain's immune response to make macrophages
Increase in immune cells lead to inflammation takes four weeks to reduce

Article Link:

• Long-Term Anxiety Causes Inflammation In The Brain
• Ohio State
• Associate Professor Of Neuroscience, Jonathan Godbout

We Want To See Others Suffer

I know that this post doesn't apply to everyone, but it applies to many, especially in our country.  All you have to do is look at our political contest and see how the world views our political race for evidence.  It boils down to the fact that we want to see others suffer or get beat up.  We love to see the fight.

I just read a headline that says that last night's debate was the highest rated in months.  Really?  Yes, really!

It isn't like these people up on the political stage are saying anything knew.  They repeat the campaign slogans and one liners over and over.  If you don't know what they stand for by now, you must be living under a rock.

It isn't like these people up on the political stage really and truly care or want to do the right thing because if they did, their poll numbers would plummet.  They have to take positions that their core group of supporters believe in and so even while I'm sure they want to be trustworthy, they have all failed at this part.  I'm not talking party lines either because they all do it on either side to the same degree.  Neither side is better or exempt in my view.

Year after year, debate after debate, it is the same questions that get asked.  Yes, they pepper a few different twists and thoughts into them, but it is the same thing regurgitated all the time.  It is like telling a kid no time and time again.  You've got to keep repeating it over and over and they still don't hear it or listen to it.

Yet, through all of this, the people who watch these things are the reasons these so called debates of horrendous human disrespect continue.  Do you think the "media" that everyone assails would put this stuff on the air if it didn't sell advertising revenue?  If you do, then think again.  Its about the money!

People want to see others suffer, although they will tell you otherwise.  People act like they love one another in Jesus name, although their actions say different.  People say they believe in one thing, but then the opposite side of that political belief is rejected without proper justification.

I would like to think that this political foolishness will spin itself out of control one of these days so we can get back to a normal discourse, but I'm doubtful at best that it will.  Each political season, we stoop lower and lower.  We spend more and more.  We tear each other apart better than the other guys and we wear badges of honor when we portray this behavior.

I honestly could care less which party anyone belongs to or blindly follows.  They are all the same, spending so much money to allow the ego to grandstand on the stage of politics.  Everyone that follows this stuff to the nth degree is nothing more than a blind follower of one of these political egos.

It is sad that we want to see others suffer.  It really is.  The only way our civilization will endure and survive through the challenges we face as inhabitants on this planet is by working together.  We've lost that as humans.  All we seem to know how to do now is to attack one another.

To those that turn the TV off and don't participate in this spectacle, my hat is off to you.  That is the vote that will change things for the better.  Making a choice to not engage the inflated ego of politics is the more sane option.

If you want to comment on this blog post, feel free to leave your thoughts, but it had better be respectful.  I moderate all comments and if you're here to tear anyone apart or show disrespect, your comment will not be published.

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022616

Jealousy In My Family

Growing up, I experienced many things.  One of these things was jealousy within my family.  No matter what I did or what happened, someone was always jealous.  It actually was quite exhausting at times.

If we would have been walking along and some apple farmer offered us an apple, it would have been a prime opportunity for jealousy in my family to appear.  Imagine if a farmer said, "you can have an apple, but the only thing is you have to pick it yourself."  So, playing along, I went up and picked an apple for myself because the farmer said we could only pick one and no more.  My family of course that would be there in the moment with me would say, "but we didn't get an apple".  I would respond, "but all you have to do is pick an apple from the tree."

Regardless, they would have been jealous of my apple that I went and picked from the tree.  Even if they could have done the same thing, it didn't matter.  They became the victim and it always drove me nuts.  They would claim that I was the lucky one and that I had an advantage they did not have.

Throughout my early years, I worked hard during the summer doing all kinds of farm labor work.  As a result, I was able to save a lot of money for college and buy my first car.  None of this money was handed to me.  I had to work hard to get it and push myself far beyond my limits at times.  Much of the work was rough, dirty, and difficult, but I did it.  I built up a reputation with local farmers that kept me busy in the area we lived.

My family would get jealous of me.  They wanted in on the money, not necessarily the work.  I still remember asking one of the local farmers when they called me if they wanted my brother to work for them.  Of course, they politely said "NO!" we just want you.  It was there way of saying much more without saying it.  You had to want to do the work to get the money.

When I went to college, I was one of the first in my family to get a degree.  Instead of being happy for me, some in my family were extremely jealous of what I had obtained.  It was not a degree that was just handed to me.  I had to spend a lot of hard hours studying and persevering through days in college that would bring you to your knees.  Yet, my family who didn't want to do the same thing, somehow thought I got this handed to me and they should have it handed to them.  Of course, the label they would throw at me in disdain was that I was an over-educated college idiot.  How nice!

Then when I got my first job, I worked hard at interviews and doing all that I could in negotiating my salary and position.  It wasn't like they handed me this nice job.  I was qualified for it and worked hard to get it.  Yet, since it was not given to them, they thought I was the one that had something shoved up my backside.

Never in my life have I asked for a handout from others.  I work extremely hard to get everything I have gotten.  I push myself hard and so for others to be jealous, it amazes me to no end.  Yes, people have helped me from time to time, but not because of me being jealous.

We all have our own crosses to bear, but jealousy really zaps your own personal power.  It takes you off your full potential because you're like one of the cows in the pasture wishing you were in the other pasture.  You're giving up your personal power to something that will give you nothing in return.

Sometimes we have to be content with what we have and where we are at.  Sometimes, it is all up to the decisions we make, how much we believe in ourselves, and what we are willing to do to make it in life.  It is often part of our own personal discovery and narrative in life.

It really isn't about what others do, because their actions have very little to do with the choices we currently make for our life.

Growing up with jealousy in my family was quite annoying.  It often led me to holding back on sharing with them things that were happening.  I just wanted them to be happy, not jealous for me.  After all, I had the daily battle scars to show just how difficult it was to obtain some of what I have in life.

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Rabble Rousers

I try to be an optimist with people, but more and more, it is increasingly difficult to stay this way.  I see the politics in full swing and the politicians are trying to out do one another.  Every statement they make, every flyer they send out and every ad they run on TV is evidence of the ego grandstanding for all the world to see.

It is sad really, because I don't think it enhances the process.  Everything is political these days and I mean everything. You cannot say a word or a thought or a tweet without it being a political motivation of the liberal verses the conservative, right vs the left or us against them.

There is no middle ground.  There is no respect with for one another.  There is no human decency in how we view each other.  We just mutilate, destroy, lie, cheat, and obliterate anyone who doesn't subscribe to our way of thinking.

I'm wondering if this is what everyone thinks will help the continuation of our species on this planet.  Do we honestly think that this is advancing humans on this earth?

Often in our day, we are slammed with criticisms, critiques, and negative gossip that do nothing to raise our vibrations, our spirit, or our outlook on life. Hope And Possibility Through Trauma by Don Shetterly (pg 149)

If we are mortified by what our politics of humanity has become, then why are we adding to it?  Why are we gulping up the media, the news, the TV ads and the speeches these people are giving?  If we don't like it, our participation says the opposite.  Our participation in the consumption of these rabble rousers says we agree with what is going on.  It says we are as much to blame as the people that are making crazy talk.

They say a rabble rouser is someone that has the intention of inflaming the emotions of a crowd or group of people just to basically get a rise out of others.  At one time we would have looked at someone like this in society as being like the boy who cried wolf.  Now, we look at those people as our leaders.

It is disturbing to say the least.  We are tearing our brothers and sisters down in the name of winning.  It doesn't matter if it is the truth as long as it is truthiness.

These days, we claim how Christian we are, but how our current system exemplifies that to be Christian is to say one thing and do another.  The teaching we are seeing by Christians is beyond my comprehension in how degrading and selfish it has become.  It is anything but healthy and balanced in my view or from at least what I was taught.

I can't help but think that if a Kindergarten child acted the way these adults do in our public discourse, that they would be punished and put in a time-out in the corner of the room.  Yet, we do the same thing we would punish them for and we do it on the news, all the time expecting our children to be much different.  Each person that participates in this or consumes it, are the rabble rousers and yet, we get upset when our children mimic our own actions.

We need to stop in this country and wake up to what we are doing to one another.  We are not helping the world advance.  Instead, we are tearing the fabric of humanity and society apart.  If we don't watch out, one day we will wake up in a morning and not even begin to recognize each other or where we live.

Maybe instead of just being a rabble rouser, we could actually discover what being human is.  No, it isn't what other people think they need us to become.  It is what we need to become.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

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