Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Day 1

Healing The Itchy
Hand Rash, Day 1

For background on this post, please begin at the blog post on November 6, 2011 (Healing The Itchy Hand Rash, Intro).

From My Personal Journal on October 10, 2011

Where Is The Open Door?


I feel as if every door is closed right now.  The more I look for it, the more I feel let down, forsaken and alone.  It is almost as if there is no open door or options ahead.  This thought alone is frightening.

It seems I am once again at a dead end.  I'm so tired of dead ends, not understanding and not finding a way forward.  My body and mind are stressed to the max.  My emotions far out number my energy.



"If Only" becomes the thought of my day.  The scenarios of "If Only" become an infinite number.  My thoughts lead to desperation, and my hope fades to gray.  If only I could find that open door.


There has to be something I am not seeing, understanding or recognizing, but what that is, I do not know.  I ask and beg for assistance, but it feels like no one hears me.

Little did I realize that this day started a chain reaction of events that would bring about the horrors of a rash.  When I wrote these words, my hand looked and appeared healthy.  I felt I was just struggling with some issues in life.  However, now I am able to look back and see that something more was coming to the surface that I could not see at this point.

While the rash did not actually show up on this day, what transpired throughout this day set it up to appear the next morning.  The emotions of what I was going through manifested themselves into a physical reality.  I'm always amazed at this process even though, the horrors of the unfolding events were scenes I would I could have escaped.

Please come back for Day 2 on November 8, 2011

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