Monday, March 26, 2012

Finding Freedom In Difficult Circumstances

Finding Freedom In
Difficult Circumstances
It saddens me every time I see someone going through very difficult moments of their life.  I've been through those same moments and I know how others feel.  I know the despair, the frustration, and the anger at life when things just seem to go nowhere.  I know how difficult it is to keep going even in the midst of courage, optimism, and determination.

The only thing I take comfort in is knowing that I have learned so much through these times.  At the moment I was in these difficult circumstances, it was almost impossible for me to see that.  Through each difficult moment, I have grown and evolved into a better person than I was before.  In all reality, that is what these moments are here for.  They are here to teach us and help push us through the lessons of life that we need to learn and understand.  Without these moments, would we really move forward?

I see too many people giving the appearance of wanting to help others struggling through these moments, but they do it through the space of their own pain and suffering, rather than helping the individual see a bigger picture.  Often people resonate with what others are experiencing and because they have not fully dealt with the pain residing in their own life from these moments, they push the other person to just move on.  They don't want the other person to be in that space because it reminds them of something that is still so painful to them.

The highest form of help you can give anyone is to allow them to travel through the depths of their own soul while being there without judgement or interjecting your own pain into their process.  This is not easy to do, but it is vital if you really want to be there for someone.  Each person traveling through difficult moments has to find the way through that works for them.  They need to be allowed to live these moments for as long as they take and in whatever form it takes.  No one knows what the person needs better than the individual themselves and if we think we know better, we are too close to our own ego.   Yes, you may see other ways and solutions for the person suffering, but in the end, they have to find the way through the pain.  It is the only way to heal.

One person used to tell me that this too shall pass when I was in the midst of horrible moments.  It is sometimes helpful to remind ourselves that no matter what, if we keep searching, walking and observing all that is going on in our life, we will find the way forward.  The trick to finding the way forward is to identify one thing that you can do at this moment to take a step forward, and then do it!  Don't wait for someone else to tell you a step to take and don't wait for someone else to give you permission to take that step.  Just identify it and do it!

We all really know deep inside what it is that will push us forward and what we need to do in our lives to overcome the situation we are facing.  Yet, we are too afraid and too unconscious to allow ourselves to go there.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is step out of the way and allow yourself to walk forward.  I know it isn't easy, but staying stuck in the situation forever is not freedom either.  Staying stuck can be a temporary resting and refueling spot, but don't let it hold you captive.

The more we become conscious and aware of our innermost self, the more we will find freedom and peace for our life.  It is all about us seeing life as hope and possibility in the midst of despair.  It is all about re-framing life in a way that helps us see the bigger picture, rather than our immediate circumstances.  No matter what, the sun will rise again tomorrow.

To read more on staying focused in difficult moments, click this link.

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