Friday, January 13, 2017

Being Happy Isn't All It Is Cracked Up To Be

There it is again.  I see it.  We all see it.  Now what in the heck is this person talking about.

Well, girls and boys - its about being happy.  Actually that isn't it is cracked up to be.  We might think it is, but we need to think again.

This happy business needs to have a reality check.  Hey, its okay if being happy is a good thing.  There is nothing wrong with that.  It is just that by only being happy, we're missing out on what true happiness really is.

Let's start off by telling a story to illustrate my point.

You see, in a village far, far, away, there was this little boy that was fighting monsters and evil people every day.  They would come at him constantly and sometimes more than one monster would attack at a time.  He tried to smile through it.  He tried to hide the pain.  He tried to show everyone how strong he was.  They didn't get to see any of what happened to him, they only saw him happy and smiling and acting like the world was okay.

You see, this little boy seemed so happy to everyone.  He smiled all the time.  No one saw anything but a happy little boy.  The only thing is that it was all an illusion.  It was meant to keep people away.  It was meant to hide the enormous pain he felt.  It was meant to evade others so they didn't know the true shame that he experienced.

The worst part is though, being happy all the time to everyone almost killed the little boy.  If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm the little boy.  In 1991, going through a Conversion Disorder, I almost lost my life for good.  Yet, no one saw the pain I buried deep inside so far removed from the happy smiles I gave to everyone.

It is easy to promote the "be happy all the time" agenda through memes and nice little quotes on social media, but in all reality, it isn't all its cracked up to be.  In fact, you can do more harm than good by convincing people that are hurting to just go crawl in their hole and hide.  Sure, that may not be your intent, but it does become the reality.

We really need to learn to be real.  If you're happy - that's great!  If you think you can be happy 100% of the time, then you're missing what happiness is because without sadness - happiness becomes an illusion. There is no happy without sadness.

No, I'm not saying - walk around depressed and in sorrow or pain.  No, I'm not saying you can't try to be happy even when you don't feel that way.  If that's what you're reading, then you're missing the point or I'm failing to explain my thought.

Being happy recognizes the pain and sadness.  It knows the moments when happiness is lost in the woods.  It gives balance between all emotions because without feeling all emotions, you're only one sided.  We need the good with the bad.  We need to feel and experience the range of all there is, not just one emotion.  Otherwise, it is not healthy lifestyle!

There are many people suffering in pain and when they are forced to believe that their pain and hurts and experiences don't matter, it only drives that crap deeper inside.  When you drive it deep down inside,  you're just setting yourself up for a catastrophic healthy failure.

Don't force someone in pain to live in darkness and despair.  Show them your smile, but show them your authentic side where you have the bruises and scars.  All happy all the time is a recipe for disaster and harm.  Be real - be human - be conscious and aware.  Don't disconnect and live in a fantasy world because reality is just too much to deal with.  It will lead you down a very dark path.

We need authentic people in this world.  We need those that can share from a compassionate heart, not one that acknowledges a one-sided view of emotions.  People are hurting and in fact you might be hurting too if all you think is that being happy is the only thing to be.

Take it from someone who almost breathed their last breath trying to be happy all the time!  It doesn't work!

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/07 by Don Shetterly
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