Proud To Annnounce I'm Engaged

I never thought that this day would ever arrive. Of course, like many others, I have been following the pending legal decisions on marriage equality.  There is much political and legal wrangling still going on, but hopefully soon in Florida, everyone can get married.

I see it as more of a marriage equality issue rather than a gay or straight issue.  I know that many people may not agree with marriage equality being a right for everyone, but frankly, I'm no longer interested in those viewpoints.  You can call me narrow minded if you want to, but I'm tired of being put down in life for who I am.

For years I fought it and I wouldn't accept it, although I've known since I was a young child that I was different.  I won't go into too many details for now, because that is not what this post is about.  I just want to say, that no matter how you believe, I know I'm gay and it wasn't a choice.  It is who I am.

Celebrate The Magical

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, let this be a day where we have that child-like innocence about life.  Let us celebrate the magical, the unseen, and the possible in our life.

Let today be more than gifts and holiday stress.  Let today be more than just what happened in this moment.  See the world through the eyes of a child with wonder and awe that has not been tarnished by time and a world who suppresses it.

Let today be about the magical nature of human good and kindness.  See the world through the eyes of peace and goodwill to others, not only this day, but every day of the year.  We are all human.  We are all born in the same way.  Let us celebrate the wonders of being human.

Let me leave you with my musical version of this.  Its a video I did on YouTube several years ago, but is still as relevant today as it was back then.  The title of the video is Christmas Piano Music by Don Shetterly.

Everything Is Bad

I am always amazed at the doom and gloom blog posts and internet news stories.  Hopefully this isn't a doom and gloom one as well.  It bugs me though when places that really have a lot of good they can share, claim this product or that product, or this business or individual or practice is bad.  Everything is bad it seems like.

For awhile I was following Food Inc on Facebook.  At first I was like, this place has it going on.  Unfortunately, I began to read more and more of their articles they posted, and quickly realized that much of what they write, is inaccurate.  They skew it one way or the other but they write without having all the facts.  Some of these issues they write about, I know from a firsthand account.

I don't understand why people do this.  If you come to me and start telling me everything is bad, more than likely I'm going to stop listening to you.  It is almost like the boy who cried wolf and then when the wolf showed up, no one came to help him.  You can't claim everything is bad and then expect anyone to take you serious.

Listening To Those That Know

Seeing the recent assassination of the two cops in Brooklyn, I'm not only saddened by what happened, but that the warning flags were ignored.  There have been far too many events that have unfolded and the warning signs were there, but no one noticed them.  Listening to those that know something is critical in our world, I believe.

All too often, no one wants to see the unpleasant side of life.  They immerse themselves in thoughts and mantras that only see the happy part of life.  Unfortunately while that may be a good thing to do, it is dangerous.  As a result, we can miss the simplest of signs that may save someone's life or the collective world at large.

Leading up to 9/11, I was getting horrific nightmares of violent scenes that would wake me up in the middle of the night.  I just chalked them up to bad dreams and didn't think anymore of it.  It wasn't until the morning of 9/11, that I found myself walking to the TV and turning it on as the first plane had hit the tower.  I never turn the TV on at this time of the day.  It was instinctive that I did this.

Letting Go

Once again, I'm met with challenges in life.  Aren't we all!  Its never easy it seems whether it is work related, family, business or just every day life.  Some days are easier and carefree than others, but some days just create drama.

I realize it is all part of my own growth and learning process.  Letting go, just isn't easy for me.  I often feel the emotional entanglements of everything going on around me.  I often feel what others feel to the degree that sometimes it clouds my own comprehension of what is going on within me.  I know that and I get it, but sometimes it doesn't make it any easier.

A recent situation came up and it was one of those that could have easily taken me under.  I really tried not to shield myself from what was going on and staying engaged with it, but I tried to not become emotionally attached to it.  Letting go was something I was working on.

When Life Becomes Worry

I've been in this place so many times in my life.  In high-school, I was admitted in my senior year because of what they initially thought was appendicitis.  Later, just in the nick of time before surgery was to take place, they realized it was nothing more than an ulcer.  Okay, nothing more than an ulcer sounds minimizing.

When life becomes worry, its difficult.  I know.  I've been there.  When life becomes worry, it isn't easy to find the way out or the door that opens to a world beyond this.  Life becomes a big giant that can be slain with a small stone, but is often so fearful and large that we run for cover.

Of course later on in life, I never learned how to get rid of worry and so I would get headaches (migraines) and all kinds of stomach issues and I even ended up going all the way to holding stuff in so much that I went through a Conversion Disorder.

When Life Gets To Be Too Much

Sometimes there are moments in life that just plain suck.  They are crappy.  They make you question everything and anything about life.  Sometimes when life gets to be too much, you feel like the groundhog that wants to crawl back in its hole and hide.

When life gets to be too much, its all you can do to make it through the day.  It is all you can do to deal with that moment.  It is all you can do to even comprehend the moment you are facing in your day.  None of it is easy.  None of it is wanted, but often you don't have a choice in what transpires.

When life gets to be too much, it is then that you have to hunker down, find strength and refuge in the support around you.  It is in those moments, it is okay to not feel as strong or enough or that you have what you need for that particular moment.  It is okay to feel inadequate.  We can't always be strong on our own and sometimes we need others around us to lean on through those difficult times.

Talking Without Listening

Time and time again, I see just how disconnected we are becoming as a human species.  Communication is poor at best and yet, we have all these communication devices to help us stay in touch.  It is really sad to watch if you sit back and take it all in.

Listening is the key skill that we've missed.  I see so many talk without listening.  Its like everyone has more on their mind of what to say, than to spend a split second listening.  Everyone has their minds running at such a fast rate and their nervous system pumped up as if it was on steroids, only to skip the part of listening to another person.

The past week I saw this happen so many times, it almost made my head completely spin around.  Talking without listening was at every corner I turned.  I remember the one lady in a Fedex office that didn't even know what I was trying to do, but she was already giving me an answer.  I remember the support person on the phone that started telling me what I needed to do, long before they were aware of what the situation was.

The World Only Wants

The world only wants to see us in the way they want to see us.  No matter what is going on, the world just wants us to hide it, disguise it, and keep it out of plain view.

The world doesn't want to know were hurting.  The world wants us to put the big boy pants on and make it look like is all okay and that were pain free.

The world doesn't want to know were angry or upset.  Society wants us to keep those things to our self.  For they are our own to deal with and concerns no one else.

The world doesn't want us to shine the light of truth to the ugly side of life.  The world wants us to turn the flashlight off and act as if the ugly side doesn't exist.

The world wants all of us to share happy thoughts and present to the world that all is one big smiley face.  The world doesn't want us to show the rough edges of life or the difficult moments.

Tension In The Body

Do you ever doubt just how powerful stress is in the body?  I know we all know that stress affects the body, but all too often we are mind numbed robots living on a busy schedule, eating ourselves to death, taking pain pills, or just ignoring what is going on.  We are masters at it in our world and its taught from a little baby on through our lives.

It happens so frequently and so unconsciously that we barely notice (if ever).  We go through our days smiling and acting as if everything is okay.  We convince the world that we have no pains, ills, or discontentment.  Even if we realize something is amiss in our body, we tend to employ many different ways of boiling water, rather than cooking something in the kitchen, so to speak. 

I've had those moments when I'm going 16 hours a day nonstop and in those moments, I rarely feel pain in my body.  It isn't until I stop that all of the sudden, I notice it.  My mind is preoccupied in running from the pain to do what I have to do, rather than stopping to embrace it.  While this may be necessary in the short term, if we continue this way over time, the buildup of the stress and pain leads to chronic pain and other health conditions.

Guilty By Fear

I know, they probably thought they were doing something good, but in all honesty, the callers in the following article showed little respect for their fellow human.

Article referenced is African-American man stopped by Michigan cop for walking with his hands in his pockets.  Hopefully you can read the whole story or view the video on YouTube of this situation. 


It doesn't take much these days for someone to call the cops.  While that may be a good thing if you see someone doing something, just because it is out of fear and suspicion, its not always a good thing.  Yes, most of this paranoia is because of pure and unadulterated fear.

We've become a society that doesn't trust our fellow humans.  We arm ourselves because the bad guys are out there and were the good guys.  We put down anyone that doesn't agree that more guns are good.  We've become a society that sees fear lurking at every corner and requires us to record everything around us.

Pharmaceutical Sick Care Loves Its Drugs

How dare you!  How dare you!  You're talking smack about my drugs.  They keep me alive.  They maintain my life.  They keep me and my friends from dying.  How dare you!  Just who do you think you are?

I see all the time how people talk about pharmaceutical companies and medical care providers as being evil.  In many respects, there is much truth to it, but I still believe at the heart of all that is good, there are people who want to do the right thing.  Corporate greed and profits of course get in the way and has degraded health care into a dependence upon medications.

Are all medications bad?  I don't think any of us can answer that.  If you're a diabetic, would you consider insulin a bad thing?  Probably not.  Are all antibiotics bad?  Probably not.   Are antibiotics over prescribed and over used?  Absolutely!  I don't want to take one color and paint all medications in one light or another. 

Spanking Hurts

I see posts on social media where people claim that the discipline they went through as a child didn't harm them, so why should they do any different with their children.  They feel that spankings were a necessary part of their learning experience as children, and it should be passed on.

Unfortunately, even though I don't have kids (and I am being upfront about that), I think spanking hurts a kid more than it helps.  I think it is hurts the children long term and it sets them up for many failures in life as well as the potential to do more harm to others.

You can disagree with me all you want, but I've seen firsthand the effects of children being hit, both in myself and on others.  You may claim your version of spanking is not like what I went through, but in all reality, I don't think it matters.

Overwhelmed By All That I Sense

Some days I get really tired of it.  I pick up way too much from others whether it is reading words online or being in close proximity to another person.  I see what isn't written, and I feel what they are feeling.  I see what lies behind the body expressions or the words that are spoken and the sounds I hear.  To me, it is all just a normal part of life I deal with and often exhausts me.

Yes, I'm learning how to dial it down, but I still feel the energy and feelings that surround me.  It is like everyone walks around with this big bubble of stuff on the outside and in that it is filled with so much information about them.  That's the part I pick up constantly.  It is no different for me, then looking at someone and seeing what color hair they have, or the colors they are wearing or any other thing you may notice in someone.

Protesting Overload

I've had enough.  Honestly, I've had enough.  I'm protesting protestors.  Sounds strange doesn't it?  No, I'm not racist and I'm not political and I do care.  I'm not referring to recent events per se, but an overall overload of protesting.

You see, every day I go on my Facebook or Twitter account or read the news coming through, someone wants me to protest.  Sure, all the reasons are valid and many I truly believe in.  Unfortunately, if I did the few moments that it takes to write a government official, sign a petition, shop somewhere else, it would be more involved than each individual thinks it would be.

After all, how do I tell which companies I should buy products at and which I should not?  It isn't like there is a big searchable database to keep me up-to-date with every company and the reasons I should boycott them.  Maybe if protestors wanted this to be real, they would invent something where I could easily search and see where I should or should not shop.

The Reason For The Season

Okay, I know not everyone does this.  I know that some keep the balance but still love Christmas and the holidays and shopping.  I'm not one of those.  And this blog post isn't about those that keep the balance.

Unfortunately for all too many people, the reason for the season is about buying stuff and getting stuff and getting more stuff and buying even more stuff.  I know, it makes the economy go round and round, and after all, isn't this what is written in the Bible and preached in the churches.  The reason for the season is all about buying all kinds of gifts and hoping that your loved ones will love you even more.

Now, if I'm offending you and you're not one of these people, please go back and read the first paragraph again.

Inexcusable Mistake Of Ray Rice

I can't speak for this "sports figure" or any other "man", but I can speak from experience.  You see, as much as some may believe Ray Rice, those who have been through things similar to this, know the hidden truth.  You can choose to believe whatever you want, but in the end, the truth is the truth.

See, when Ray Rice says, "I made an inexcusable mistake" - my bling blings go off in my brain.  Sure, I hear you.  A mistake!  I mean after all, come on!  You start throwing them punches around and pushing and shoving someone and well, you know - mistakes happen.  The other person just gets in your way.  Its an honest mistake.  If the other person wouldn't have gotten in your way, none of this would have happened.