Friday, February 1, 2013

Sometimes Life Is A Confusing Path

Sometimes Life Is A Confusing Path
This is one of those moments that I fail to understand what is going on in my life.  Sometimes a confusing path is what stares me directly in the face.  It is like pieces of my life come together and other pieces seem to either get in the way or they fall by the wayside.

It isn't easy to go down this path (a.k.a my life) because there is no rule book or procedure book to show me the way.  It isn't like I can go to page 123 and see what to do on any given day.  It isn't like I can go to any one person and ask for their advice, hoping to hear a clear cut answer to all my questions.

I realize the way forward is one that I must figure out on my own.  I realize if it was so simple that I did not have to grow into it, that it most likely would not help me learn and discover my path.  In many ways, it is all part of my growth, my healing, and finding my way into the life that I am called towards.  It is about me finding and discovering more of who I am.

Sometimes a confusing path is not easy in the least bit.  Sometimes, I wonder if and why I am on this path.  At times, it begins to make sense and at other times, I am lost in a sea of fog, questioning everything about my life and existence.  In some moments, I can see clearly and in other moments, it all remains a mystery.

I do realize that it is difficult at times for me to trust myself and my abilities.  It is far easier to doubt what I have within me, leading me away from seeing that which lies before my eyes.  I beg my life to not allow me to be afraid and to travel into these roads filled with fear, but of course my mind desires to flee as fast as it can.  My mind doesn't always listen because of all the programs that run on auto pilot in my consciousness.

This is a meandering blog post that I am writing.  It is more a momentary testament to how I feel and how I process that which lies ahead for me.  It is my way of asking questions and attempting to understand that which I cannot see in this moment.  I know it is there and I know in due time, all will become clear to me.

In the meantime though, I struggle to find the courage to be patient and keep putting one foot in front of another.  I also realize that even though sometimes a confusing path is hard to understand, but in the process of time, a greater consciousness will become my opened up to me.

Blog Post And Images (c) 1/12/13 by Don Shetterly

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