Sunday, July 19, 2015

Have Some Compassion For Shy People

I was heartbroken at what I saw today, while waiting to get my haircut.  There was this little girl (maybe  4 years old) who was very shy.  The little girl was getting ridiculed for being shy by her family.  It was very sad and I about tore these people apart for it.

The little girl was standing in the waiting area with her mom at the counter.  Another young girl who was maybe a year or two older came up to her and tried to be nice and friendly.  The little shy girl immediately withdrew and the other girl walked away.  You could see the shy girl all withdrawn in her body and had her arms tucked in around her body.

Her mom of course begins to chastise her for being shy and demanded that she lower her arms down.  With scorn, she told the little shy girl that she needed to learn how to be nice to strangers.  The mom ridiculed her little daughter for being shy and of course the older sibling had to make sure she did the same.

So, the little girl went over and hid next to her grandmother and then the mother followed her over and began chastising her for doing that.  The older girl (who was the stranger) came and started coloring in a coloring book nearby and of course the mother demanded the shy girl go and color with her.  She complained and was told to go anyway.  Then the older girl looked at her and said, you are shy aren't you?

I saw this scenario play out and I felt for the little girl.  How horrible it is for her to have to live in a family that has no compassion for shy people.  Most likely the little girl is a sensitive person and this isn't going to help her develop in her life.  When the mother told her they were going home, she was leaping for joy as she said, "good, I can go home and play with Daddy".

First off, teaching your daughter that doing whatever strangers want you to do is the right thing to do, is really setting this girl up to get hurt and most likely seriously hurt in the future.  What a stupid message for these people to teach her.

Second, teaching this little girl to hide and deny what she was feeling is one of the worst things you can teach a kid.  Even if you are unenlightened and unconscious, doing this to a small child is child abuse.  I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but it is child abuse.

Third, telling her to ignore what her body is doing and reacting from what she feels is sentencing this little girl to a life of turmoil and health issues later in life.  This is the last thing you want to teach a young child.

Sensitive and shy people aren't bad people.  Nothing is wrong with them.  They don't need to be fixed.  All they need is for someone to have compassion for them and to love them.  What this family did was anything but having compassion for this little shy girl.

I was a shy person most of my life and sometimes I still am.  I am sensitive and sometimes I don't want to interact with strangers.  Sometimes I need my space and I react in that way.  Often I sense and pick up things about people around me and I have no desire to interact with them.  It is part of being sensitive and picking all this up.

Making a small child out to be a bad person because they are sensitive and shy is horrible.  It is child abuse.  I wish parents would learn what really matters.  I wish many would learn how to nurture themselves, instead of perpetuating the abuse on an innocent child.

It seems like we forget how special little children are.  It is high time we begin to discover that and have some compassion for shy people.  Without sensitive and shy people in this world, humanity would no longer exist.  These people are vital to the survival of our planet and civilization.  Whether it is a child or an adult, anyone who is shy and sensitive deserve to be treated with respect.

Blog Post And Images (c) 7/18/15 by Don Shetterly

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/07 by Don Shetterly
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