Avoiding Healing

If you're like me in my own healing, you've probably done some avoiding of what you needed to do.  It is easy to avoid healing in our lives because this path is not easy.

Healing is sometimes long and treacherous.  Sometimes it is exhausting.

The only thing is, if we avoid healing in our lives, it will come back up and bite us.  Our body and our mind will work to get our attention and the more we avoid it, the more it will increase.

I know from experience that avoiding things in life, numbing and disconnecting will only take you down a path that isn't pretty.  For me, it took me into a conversion disorder where I was paralyzed and almost on my last breath for good.

It isn't easy to heal, especially when you've been through trauma or child abuse or been molested and raped as a child.  These experiences harm people in so many ways and to get your life back is an exercise in exhaustion at times.  I know, I've been there.

Be real in our healing...

We just need to be honest with ourselves in our own healing and be real with what we are doing.  Are we avoiding healing through various ways, or are we truly going in and doing what we need to be doing.

There are many ways to avoid healing and even if I tried to list all that I could, there would be many more.  I think at a subconscious level we understand when we are avoiding what it is that we need to do, but often times it doesn't rise to a level of consciousness and awareness.

So, how do you avoid healing or how have you done this in the past?

What are your ways that you numb and disconnect, rather than take a long hard look at what is truly taking place on your healing journey.

#Numbing

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Some Days I Struggle

I know with all that I've been through in the past that life is not necessarily easy.  I have my good days and bad days.  Sometimes the struggles of the past come up to haunt me and work hard at pulling me under.

Sometimes people try to make it look like all they have are great days, but I know that this is anything but the truth.  I get irked when people try to paint happy thoughts while you're in the midst of the mud and muck making your way to dry ground.

We need more people who are honest and real, instead of those that try to gloss over the moments of difficulty and pain.  The pain has to come out and the more we hold it in, the more we harm our mind, body, emotions, and spirit.  

Below is a list of things I struggle with in no particular order.  I know, we all have our list of things.  I'm just verbalizing mine.  They appear in no special order.

My hope is that by verbalizing mine, it will start a conversation to help others share their lists and give them some measure of healing.  We need one another to lean on, not to chastise and brush off.

I struggle to:

• Accept the quietness of friends who barely speak to me at times wondering if I've done something wrong or they are just lost in their own moments of life.
• Find a way to make it in this world on a consistent basis even though I know I have many talents and skills.
• Do the things I want, not necessarily the things that I have to do.
• Feel the disappointment of those I look up to who don't feel I measure up.
• Accept the pain of a past that is so horrifying that it is difficult to even think about or view some days.
• Deal with those that desire to take advantage of my niceness because they can't balance their needs and desires and honesty in being human.
• Know that my biological family thinks I'm the worst person around because I dared to spill their secrets by trying to heal my own life.
• Grasp everything that I've experienced in life because often it is so overwhelming and too difficult to understand or comprehend.
• Try and hide all the triggers that possess me while trying to heal and remove the power they hold over me.
• Understand why people who claim to have been my friend in the past desire to walk all over me as if I'm nothing more than a doormat for their life.
   
• Realize that anyone loves me and that I truly matter even if I know I they do and even if there are some that show they love and care about me.
• Find answers in the many questions that my mind does not seem to solve or my life seems to demand to know.
• Understand why I hear, sense, feel and see so much but yet it all seems all like a confusing mass of information that I can barely process.
• Comprehend how people can be so mean to one another and not even realize it while they shout insults with such force and velocity and exclamation.
• Make sense of a world that honors religious beliefs but yet those same religious beliefs are hurled as arrows against others, while harboring their own faults in a safe harbor as if they don't exist.
• Understand how to forgive all the pain that was inflicted upon me when the ones who did it act as if it was okay, they are righteous, and I'm the one that caused the problem - not them.
• Not fully understand why others cannot see what I can see and understand what it is that I understand.  It all seems so simple, but to others, it is not.
• Write the words that will help the most because it feels like my words are never enough in a world of turmoil, torture, pain, and disrespect.

I continue to work on these things each day because as I know, I'm a work in progress.  I know that we aren't on this earth to just wait out our days until we die.  We are here with a purpose, but sometimes that purpose is so clouded by what we've endured in life.
 

I'm not one that settles for what is or for the easy meme and saying that will magically make everything seem like it has disappeared and is better.  Instead, I'm one that keeps questioning and going deep within myself to learn more, grow more, and understand more.

Yes, some days I struggle, but it in that struggle that I remind myself - I'm becoming more than I am today.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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We Support You But Let's Not Talk About It

Some days I really wonder about life and then on other days, humans prove with their actions what they think and feel in their hearts.  I know, it is an indictment of the human race, but I hope that with the words I write, someone will be a little wiser and a little more enlightened.  Maybe I'm hoping for too much, but even with the way some humans act, I still have faith in humanity.

The tired and worn out thought, we support you but let's not talk about it, makes me weep for humanity.  I've seen this a million times.  Whether its throughout the healing journey of child sexual abuse or an organization ripping apart at the seems, it is heard loud and clear.  Whether it is in a job where you stand up for what is right or you stand up to the bully in the workplace or even if you get married and it goes against the beliefs of others, there is no mistaking it.

Are humans that fickle?  Are humans so wrapped up in themselves that they offer support but yet they don't?  These are tough questions, but each and every person should ask them and ponder them because it happens across the board in one way or another.  It happens across every city and town of every country on this planet.  I've watched it play out so many times and in so many circumstances that my eyes are weary with pain.

Can we not be real with one another...

Can we not be real with one another?  Can we not show compassion and love to one another without using our ego and judgment to cloud the waters?  Are we not better as humans to understand love, compassion, consciousness and awareness.

Unfortunately, I would like to think humans have a greater capacity to love, rather than judge.  I would love to see where humans have a better awareness of what is right and just in this world, rather than turning a blind eye and being an accomplice in what is happening before them.  I still have hope for humanity.  I still try to have faith in humanity.

Actions speak volumes...

This business about supporting someone but then acting as if it doesn't exist or you don't want to talk about it, shows what is truly in your heart.  These actions and words speak volumes about what you really mean.  You can't just go to church on Sunday or embrace the new age thought patterns and let your actions say one things, while your mouth says another.

Maybe you think you don't do this and if you don't, my hat is off to you.  However, look long and hard because you might be missing the ways that you do.  It is not out of the question to not see that which you do.

Supporting one another is a basic part of being human.  If we fail in this, we have failed those around us and we have failed ourselves.  We cannot claim to support, but then hide it under the carpet.  We cannot claim to support and then talk about the stuff in a degrading way.  We cannot claim to support but hold back showing this, even in the slightest of ways.

My hope is that instead of hiding our heads in the sand, we will learn to become better humans.  Humans that are aware and conscious and walk the walk.  To be anything less, is to short change the human race and the world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Very Intense Blog Lately

If you keep up with my blog on a daily basis, you're probably saying "whoa, slow down there dude".  I'm sorry if my blog has been very intense lately, but its where I am.  I write when I react to what is going on in life.

Some people drink.  Some people get on the media and shout their ignorance.  Others just suffer in silence.  We all react, even if we paste a smile on our face and make it appear as if we don't.

I know that sometimes my writing probably pushes so many buttons that people just say, I ain't going down this road!  No way, no how!  Some probably see it as an angry venting place and send me lots of love.  Maybe some see it and say, I wish I could say that but you're saying exactly what I'm thinking.

Regardless of your view, I sometimes mean to push buttons.  I want people to think and question and challenge their lives and the world around them.  I don't want people to settle for the status quo or beliefs that are regurgitated to them from birth.

Bless The Misguided New Age People

I know, if you're a new age person, you might not agree with me on this.  So, I'll keep it respectful and thoughtful, but there is a point I want to make and its important.  Bless the misguided new age people for they don't fully understand what it is they do and say.

Now, before you get all up in arms with me, please know that this isn't every new age person.  Although, the numbers it effects are many.  If it makes you uncomfortable, you're free to stop reading.  If not, please continue.  You can always leave a comment at the end of the blog post one way or the other.

There is just too much thought out there that "everything" is bad for you.  If it isn't food, it is thoughts.  If it isn't thoughts, it is what you say.  If it isn't what you say, than it is entities and things watching you and a whole host of things that would take me forever to state here.

The key is, not everything is BAD!  While some things may not be as healthy or good for you, to view the world through the eyes where things are "BAD" or "EVIL" or "SHAMEFUL" is really sad in my view.  If you don't think you do this, then you may want to record yourself for a day and review it.

Conversion Disorder Is Real

Don Shetterly on Dr Drew
show 2/1/12 - Leroy, NY

Since I am now part of this story in Leroy, NY that Dr Drew is covering on HLN, I am saddened by some of the things that is happening.  Conversion Disorder is real and it does happen in people.  Just like Dr. Drew said the other night, it happens far more than we may realize.  Yes, I know there are syndromes where people fake symptoms.  I am well aware of that, but Conversion Disorder is real!

Some of the hurtful comments coming from people watching these news stories is downright awful, hurtful and unhelpful to those experiencing it.  I can only observe some of the people on TV, much like everyone else.  However, to make "faking" the focus of comments is some of the most hurtful things you could do to another human being.

Conversion Disorder shows up in different ways and intensities.  When I went through what I did, it was so intense and all at once that I could hardly function in life.  I still remember the seizures that would have my body flailing around until it reached exhaustion.  Once at that point, I would sleep for hours.  In one instance, they even rushed me by ambulance to the hospital emergency room, only for me to have gotten to the point of exhaustion by the time I arrived.  No one knew what to do with it or me because there were no symptoms that made sense.  The symptoms would come and go at various times through out the day.