Monday, April 6, 2015

Learning Its Not My Job

For a long time, I thought I had to do everything.  I thought I had to be the one with the answers, the solutions, the steps and process.  I didn't see others rising to that occasion, so I made sure I filled the void.  Maybe my ego was too great or maybe it was a survival technique I learned from years past.

Learning it is not my job is one of the most exhilarating feelings of freedom I've experienced lately.  Sure, there are things that need to get done in my job, but I realize I can't do it all.  I realize that if I sometimes step back and allow the other individuals to take that role, its much more healthy for me.

I still have those inclinations to step in and do it all because I can, but when I do that, I exhaust myself.  I wear myself down.  I lose sense of my ability to balance life.

There are still many demands upon my day and my skills and expertise.  The only thing is, I have to look out for myself and protect myself, because otherwise the days consume me.  I can't do it all.  I can't keep up with it all.  I have to find those limits and boundaries.

When you've been through what I have in life, boundaries and limits don't exist. It has taken me a long time to begin learning how to keep them in place.  Sometimes I mess up and obliterate them.

The more I can find balance in my own life and modulate how much I try to do, the more healthy I am and the better I am there for myself and others.  In fact, I can do my job better when I'm not exhausted.  I make clearer decisions and I add to the project, not take away from it.

Just learning to realize that a task at hand is not my job is like a mountain top experience.  I know that it is part of my life's training right now to understand this.  I've come a long ways from the days of the past where I felt like I had to do everything for everyone or I had failed them and myself.  No longer do I see life in that same way.

Blog Post And Images (c) 03/29/15 by Don Shetterly

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