Thursday, August 9, 2012

Hiding Behind The Image We Project

Breaking The Habit
Of Being Yourself
By Dr Joe Dispenza
Recently I was reading a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza titled "Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself".  In one section, he was talking about how for a time, he started to lose site of who he was.  He had been riding high in the wake of a movie and becoming a highly recognized lecturer.  In the process, he began to lose himself and portrayed one thing to the public, but kept his true self hidden.  It wasn't until he stopped and recognized what he was doing, that life began to turn back to normal.

On page 151 in his book, he stated something that I thought was very profound.  It talks about how we hide behind that which we project to the world.  When we can't cope, it is then that we become someone different than our authentic self.  The following quote says it clearly.

This is who we truly are, the real self hiding behind the image we are projecting. We can’t face exposing that self to the world, so we pretend to be someone else. We create a set of memorized automatic programs that work to cover the vulnerable parts of us. (pg 151, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself ).

I think we all tend to hide ourselves and we only show the parts to the rest of the world that we want to see.  The image we project is often times what we are hiding behind.  I'm sure that some of the reason we do this is survival, but in many ways we lose our authenticity.

Lately, I've been struggling and facing some issues in life that are tough to deal with for me.  I'd like the world to believe I have it all together, but in all reality, I don't.  No matter what I do, I can't seem to find my footing on my path, and so it seems like I'm slipping down the hill side being scraped along the rocks as I go.

Between financial difficulties that I am facing, and not being able to see my dreams come true, I begin to wonder if life is really worth it.  No, I'm not planning anything drastic, but I am struggling with desperation and frustration.  I keep trying to move forward and every time I feel like I've got the wind at my back, something comes up and slaps me in the face or kicks me in the gut.  At some point, I fear I will become too weary to keep trying.

Yet, it isn't all doom and gloom for me.  I've had some successes financially this year, but they have not been enough to sustain me.  I've had some opportunities come my way that feel like they were a once in a lifetime shot of something spectacular.  So I can't say that I'm sitting here down and out as bad as some are in our world.  Yet, I know the financial picture is like a stormy scene on the ocean and my dreams feel out of grasp.

Depression of course beckons me as a long lost friend, only for me to attempt to close my eyes to it.  I long for peace, understanding and a solid footing on my path, only to be met with more resistance than I have ever known.  There are a million thoughts that race through my mind of why I am struggling and they are the voices of my parents and siblings as they chastise me for not being loyal to my religious upbringing. 

I sense many things and I know I have a purpose for being in this world.  There was a time, when I faced the last days of my life, but for some reason, I was not allowed to leave this world.  Part of my future life I can see and part of it I understand, but I just don't understand how to get from point A to point B.  I feel all alone in this endeavor and although I know the answers we need are within us, I feel empty.

Getting through these difficult moments in life seems like a mystery of epic proportions.  It feels much bigger than I can fathom in my mind or dream in my heart.  My fears outnumber my moments of energy and inspiration.  For now, I just keep working on taking a step in my current position, even if it seems so small and insignificant to me.  I feel the stress, but I work hard to remind myself that this too shall pass.  Oh, but that is difficult to believe, let alone understand.

The purpose of writing this blog post was my attempt to no longer hide behind the image I project to the world.  It is my attempt to put front and center, that which I struggle with as I become authentic with myself.  It isn't easy showing this side of myself, but hopefully it will not only help me to write these worlds, but I hope it will help someone else out there who is reading this.  Sometimes a crisis is there to wake us up.

Blog Post And Images (c) 8/2/12 by Don Shetterly

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