Monday, August 13, 2012

Financial Struggles

So, how do I be just in this moment with all my stuff, my problems, my difficult moments in life and go on?  This is the thought that seems to be from those enlightened enough to not struggle financially.  Yet, I often wonder, do they really not struggle, or is it that they project a set image to everyone, while hiding their own difficult moments.

I'd like to believe that these financial gurus and all the others that seem to sail through life, really are sailing in life and rolling in the dough.  I'd like to believe that.  It is almost impossible when I keep trying and trying in life, only to come up for a breath of air and once again, get slapped in the face.

Maybe those that are brave and reading this are thinking that I'm out for a pity party.  Unfortunately if you knew me well, you would know that isn't true.  I usually don't ask anyone for anything and I try to find my own way through.  However, I feel so frustrated with life at this moment, that I'm not sure which way to turn.

One of the things that I have experienced in life is that when I let go of something, I give myself the opportunity to grow, learn and evolve.  Usually the struggle leading up to that point was beyond comprehension with the degree of difficulty it took to endure it.  In the end, it took me giving up control and allowing myself to go into the situation, in order to move beyond it.

I so badly want to believe that this is what I need to do now, but my body and mind are so weary from the struggle, that I feel like I'm trying to walk on a sheet of ice.  My feet try to move, but they slide in all directions from the slippery surface.

I know, this storm will pass and things will get back to normal, but my impatience is wearing thin.  I question how much courage and determination I have to continue through this and find the light at the end of the tunnel.  I hope that I do not lose site of the goal, before my body becomes too tired to continue.

Thank you for just hearing me out.  I share this as part of my own healing because I know that when I write about these things, it often helps me to find solutions for my own life.  By the time you read this, much will have most likely changed because I often write these blog posts in advance.  You may also want to check out a recent blog post I wrote on "Hiding Behind The Image We Project".

Blog Post And Images (c) 8/3/12 by Don Shetterly

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