Sunday, November 27, 2016

Bully In The House

This was my life.  I grew up in a home where the bully was in charge.  The one that said, you must believe what I say or get out.  The one that thought their way was all that mattered or it was the highway.

There was no dissent.  There was no thought about dissent.  There were many threats if you even thought about telling anyone the secrets taking place in the house.

If the threats were not enough, you watched as your pets were killed and your body was whacked with beatings and pain.  You hunkered down as the violence happened and the yelling intensified.

I grew up in this home where you either believed and thought and talked like the bully of the house wanted or you were nothing in their eyes.  If you didn't do as they wanted, you were outcast.  You were shunned.  You were given the silent treatment.

There wasn't just one bully either.  There were two.  The second felt as if I was the physical punching bag he needed.  He was bigger than me and weighed almost twice as much.  I still remember his knees jumping up and down on my shoulder as he pinned me to the ground.

Both bullies molested me and raped me and made me hate myself.  It was the house I grew up in.  I despise bullies.  I despise child molesters and rapists.

The bullies used their church and the bible and their God to torment me, and keep me in line.  It kept me silent.  They used the teachings of Jesus to proclaim to me that they did these things to show God's love to me.  They were bullies.

They brainwashed me to think that everyone else was wrong and should be despised and talked about and shunned.  I grew up learning this and seeing it in action, even as they took time out to pray to God, read their bibles and preach love.

It is easy to say not all people are like that, but when you've been through what I have, you see that those words fall short.  For you see what truly lies in a person's actions and words.  You see evidence of it every day with grandstanding, but no matter what, the bullies are still alive and kicking.

I grew up in a house where I didn't know who I was and love was something that was proclaimed, but I knew very little about it from the example I was shown.  You wouldn't have been able to convince the bullies of this.  For they thought they were self-righteous and honorable and the best loving human of all times.  They were the greatest in their own eyes and they made sure everyone knew it.

Little do they realize as they continue to practice their hatred of those who don't bow down and worship at their feet, that I no longer participate in their bullying practices.  I no longer wish to allow them to rule over me.

Yes, it means that I no longer live in that house or talk with the bullies.  It means that I am blazing my own path.  Yet, I see time and time again, evidence throughout our land that the bullies I grew up with are present everywhere I go.

It takes more than words and actions.  That's all a bully has to defy human existence and love.  A bully will convince you they are not a bully, but if you believe that, you will sacrifice your own soul in the quest for life and for your soul's existence.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly
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