Monday, August 24, 2015

I'm So Angry

There are too many events as I write this over the past several months that really get to me.  I'm angry at so much that I think I could spit bullets out of my eyes.  While that may be a weird thought, it is how I feel in this moment.  I can't help it.  It is just what is.

Now, some may be rolling their eyes at me and some have already probably clicked close.  No one wants to read or hear about the rough times.  They want it all to just be peachy and happy and lucky and ducky.  Great...  if this is too much for you, please feel free to click close.  No harm in doing that and it won't shatter my world either.

The thing is, anger is a valid emotion Its a valid feeling.  You can't wish it away with your thoughts because it resides in the neural pathways of your mind and the cells of your body.  You might think you can just focus on changing your thoughts and it all goes away, but I'm sorry, I don't agree with your logic.

Anger is valid because sometimes it gets us in the mode of either protecting ourselves or doing what we need to do.  It isn't always bad and anger in its pure form is as much a part of life and breath as any other emotion.

What we do with that anger towards ourselves and others is another story.  Yes, it can harm others and it can harm ourselves.  I've had front row tickets to that for much of my life.  However, if you try to hide it through mind control, you're going to end up a statistic in the hospital.

I am in the midst of major change and realization in my life at this moment.  I'm carefully weighing my options and direction, but as a result, the events and experiences I am going through create a great deal of anger in my day.  I'm hanging on.  I'm holding on.  In the process, I have to put up with what is happening and that is what makes me so angry right now.

I know this too will pass and there are brighter days ahead or at least I hope so.  For now though, I have to use the fire of this anger within me to do what I need to do and move forward in life through all the fears, insecurities, and trembling that I have.  It isn't easy and I think the anger is there as a propellant because without it, I'd carve my nice little happy place in the corner of the room and go to sleep.

Many years ago when I started to deal with the anger hidden within my body, I would argue with a healer that anger is a bad thing.  They would gently try to help me see that it is a valid emotion.  For most of my life, anger was displayed as harm to others.  I had no idea at the time that anger could be good while not being harmful to anyone.

Yes, I know if you hold on to anger, that is not a good thing.  I understand that and that is not what this post is about.  If you have drawn this conclusion, you are missing my point.  Go ahead and get angry and upset with me about it, if you want.  It is okay with me.

In the end, all emotions are valid.  None are good and none are bad.  They are all what they are for that moment.  The more we fight and guard against them or portray them out to be one thing or another, the more we miss why they are there.  They are there as a part of our life's experience and sometimes they are just what the doctor inside ordered.

Blog Post And Images (c) 7/11/15 by Don Shetterly

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