Friday, March 11, 2011

A Shoulder To Cry On

Sometimes in life we all need a shoulder to cry on or an ear that will listen. All too often, we get just the opposite by people who mean well and believe they are doing the right thing. Never underestimate the power of just listening to someone or giving them a shoulder to cry on. Never underestimate how holding someone's hand in a moment of crisis can be such a life changing moment.

A little over a year ago, I was going through some very difficult moments. A rash had engulfed my body and itching was my closest companion. No matter what I did, the itching would not stop and I spent many days and nights awake anguishing in terror. There seemed like no end and it was a horrible painful time of frightening experiences that I went through.

I remember finally going to Dr. Paul Canali at Evolutionary Healing for a session. By the time I got there, I was so afraid that I could barely function in life let alone get myself into his office. My body was so wrought with fear that it took all the energy I could find to just get my body to function and physically move. In that moment, I was not sure if there was a way through this. I did not have hope that it would improve because I had already endured so much and for so long.

I'll never forget the words that Dr. Canali spoke to me and what he did when I first got on the table. He grabbed hold of my hand in a very firm, supportive and loving way while he looked at me and said, "I'm here for you!" It wasn't just the words either that were said, but I could tell the conviction in each syllable that he truly meant what he was saying. I also could hear through the words that he could back up what he was saying because he had already touched his own pain and sorrow. It was a life changing moment. I'll never forget that moment.

Today, I read a blog by Nicole Bowman that really reminded me of this point and so much more. All too often, we think we have to solve the problem or we are too mired in our own pain, that we cannot just be there for the person. We can't simply offer a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear? It is okay to go in and be in the depths of pain with people as long as we have done the work on ourselves so we can truly be there.

It took me a long time to understand that you can go into the pain with the person that needs it without losing yourself. It has nothing to do with shielding yourself from the person's energy or anything else. It is a matter of just holding the space open and walking along side by side through their journey helping them to take each step. It has nothing to do with us although it may trigger and connect with areas of our own life that we have not fully healed. We should welcome those moments because they give us further opportunity to evolve and heal ourselves.

I hope you will read Nicole's blog entry that I've linked to below, because she so eloquently states this concept. It is a beautiful concept and one that when practiced can truly be life changing for another person. The true essence of our humanity is how far we allow ourselves to heal and how we use that awareness and consciousness to help others do the same thing. There is no greater gift we can give others than to offer ourselves up with all our pains, inadequacies and healing so that together we evolve into more than we are currently aware of in this moment.

1) Nicole Bowman, Blog Post March 2 - Thoughts On The New Age
2) Dr. Paul Canali, Evolutionary Healing of Miami
3) Blog Post on August 19, 2010 - Stop The Itching

Blog Post & Images (c) 3/4/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only

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