Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Intense Back & Shoulder Pain, Part 2

A recent trip that I made regarding a gathering of male survivors getting together was powerful and emotional. While it was a very good thing that took place, it is sure kicking the emotions up right now. I'm feeling a wide range of emotions and body issues as a result. Yesterday's post explains it more.

Of course, I woke up this morning to intense pain again in my back, especially my upper back. It is like a very intense burning pain that hurts like hell. Sorry to be so blunt but this is not easy. To describe it as painful is an understatement.

I do know and realize that this is connected to the emotions that have been kicked up this last week. I'm not surprised that this pain has happened. I'm not completely sure what is coming up or why, but I do know that this is part of my healing process.

Yesterday after I woke up in intense pain, I managed to get myself to the fitness center. I not only focused on exercise but I really focused on my breathing and connection to my body. I was not concerned with how much I did in my workout as I was connecting with every muscle fiber as much as I could. It felt good to tire myself out on the treadmill and weight machines. It felt good to almost exhaust my body.

After the workout, I followed it up with some time before the hot and dry sauna as well as the pool. The pool was very cold because the heater was not working but I still went in and did my anger release that I know so well.

Leaving the fitness center, I felt more relaxed, centered and a greater calmness within my body. The pains had disappeared and overall, I felt very good. Of course, that all ended early this morning when the intense pains started back in.

This has been an intense week and I remind myself that all of this is part of the process. It is not an end point and it is not a marathon that I must run in the fastest time. It is a process. As long as I don't let myself get overwhelmed by the fear and I allow myself to travel through the process, I will find the other side. When I find the other side, I will find a deeper level of healing. Until then, the days are rocky and rough but I know that I've been through so much that I can go through this as well.

Further Reading: Intense Back & Shoulder Pain, Part 1

(Above Picture taken at Chicago, IL - (c) 10/19/10)

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