My Way Or The Highway

Growing up in the house we did, there was no dissent.  You either did it my father's way or there was the highway.  That's how it was viewed, taught, and every discipline was appropriated based upon this fact in our family.

I mean, after all they didn't want the family secrets out.  So, if you dared stand up and say anything, they couldn't control you.  They were afraid and frightened that you would share something they didn't want shared.  If you want to know more about those secrets, check out my book.

There was absolutely no dissent, no disagreeing with the man in charge and they were right no matter what.  You could have had facts to back up what you were saying on your side, but none of mattered.  It was their way or the highway!

Now, if you brought this to their attention today, they would flatly deny that they ever did this.  They would claim I was brainwashed.  They would claim that I just got my feelings hurt.  They would claim that I was blaming them for everything and taking no ownership for any of it.

Dissent was not tolerated...

If you dared to speak out or stand up, you were labeled as an unruly child.  You were punished severely from beatings to having the entire rest of the family give you the silent treatment.  Dissent and not obeying their every command and wish was absolutely not tolerated in my family.

They might have used God or the minister to try and keep you in line.  You can sure as bet a beating was in order.  They would threaten to burn your toys or kill your cats.  Some of those threats were very real and not just threats.  They stopped at nothing to bring you into line with what they deemed was the truth.

To this day, I have very little use for group think.  Everyone seems to not be able to stand on their own two feet and so they love having others with similar group think around them.  It makes them feel more secure.

Why do we have to be the same...

I fail to understand why someone is not able to stand up and disagree.  I fail to understand why everyone has to think the same way, talk the same way, do the same things and believe the same way.  Maybe it was because of what I grew up with as a kid, but I just have no use for it.

I think we do our best when we challenge ourselves and we allow ourselves to be challenged.  It allows us to grow and learn and be more than we are.  If we're just following because that is what we are supposed to do, then are we really human?

I still struggle with this behavior that I was taught while growing up.  It shaped how I saw the world and that did not mean I saw the world in an inclusive and broad way.  It was a very narrow minded view of everything around me.  It was what brainwashed me!

Challenge yourself to not be part of the group think on whatever subject or belief it may be.  You're only holding yourself back from discovering more about that which you don't know in this moment.  Challenge yourself to let others challenge you and be okay with that.  We don't all have to sit inside the one circle in life and spout the same rhetoric.

My way or the highway thinking is brainwashing.  It is not freedom, especially for a child like myself growing up.  It held me back.  It helped me hate others without knowing them.  It helped me hide all of this stuff so deep inside of me that the secrets of my life went to the point they almost killed me.

Don't let yourself fall into the my way or the highway thinking.  If you're there, take a leap into the unknown and see what else exists!

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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I Struggle With People

There are days that I truly wonder about the human race.  I really wonder why humans do some of the things they do. 

I struggle with people in these moments and at times I wish I had a spaceship that could take me to another planet.

People get so nasty with one another calling each other names and putting labels on those that they disagree with on whatever issue it is. 

There is no respect.  There is no love.  They may proclaim there is, but their words and actions show differently.

I struggle with people who think that I must think like them in order to be associated with them.  Whether it is politics or some cause or organization, I try not to be a part of group think.  I feel that humans owe more to the world-at-large to be more than just a mind numbed group think process.

Mind numbed chatter...

I struggle with people who only seem to want to talk to me if I share their views or I'm ready to rant about the latest "topic" of the day.  It feels like mind numbed chatter to me and I really have no desire to immerse myself in it.  I think there are more important things to talk about, but if I am only good to mirror back everything you say, am I of any real value?

I struggle with people who on Sunday say, "I love everyone" and "I have the answers" - yet, their life shows the opposite of the words they speak.  They sound more like a clanging symbol than a band of finely tuned instruments.  Of course, you can't point this out to them because they act as if what you are saying it "unenlightened" or "not spiritual".

It is their needs or wants only...

I struggle with people who only seem to chat with me when they want something or need something or somehow feel like they HAVE TO chat with me.  Their heart isn't in the conversation and they make me feel less than, just because they don't truly value me as a person first.  It is their needs and wants only.

Heck, I know I'm not perfect either.  I screw up and mess up too.  I am just tired of "part-time" people who say one thing and then do another.  There's much more to our world than behaving this way.  I don't even think we are truly human anymore.

And no - it's not all the other people out there that do this!  It is each and every one of us that does it every day.  Yeah, we might like to think we don't, but if you take a look in the mirror - more than likely you'll see something that you don't want to see.

That's the challenge in life though!  Making ourselves better and learning to treat others with respect and true love without judgment is the mark of being a conscious human.  Why don't we try that in a day rather than just demeaning, tearing down, and disrespecting everyone we meet?

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Don't Jump On The Wagon Going Over The Cliff

We are so locked into what we believe in life that if someone presents anything but this conclusion, we bring the claws out.  We don't dare let anyone tell us anything different then what we believe.  We don't dare let anyone present something that doesn't fit into our crucible.

It is my way or the highway thinking in this country and world that is taking us down into the depths of the dark ages once again.  Either you follow what I tell you to do, or you will perish or you're stupid and ignorant.  This is what is going on in our world today whether we want to believe it or not.

No, it isn't in some other remote part of the world we have never been.  No, it isn't by some other culture or race that we know next to nothing about but what the media and politicians tell us to think.

This happens every day by those with a dogma or belief system.  Even the ones that can't see they have a belief system, they are as much of a problem as the ones who know they do.  It happens as a result of followers gulping down the poisonous kool-aid as if it is the only sustenance in the world.

Through time, we've not welcomed new concepts.  We've all gone to our own little caves and acted as if we had the facts.  Those that believe like us, we embrace.  Those that don't believe like us, we shun.  Yet, we proclaim to the world how right we are and how much we are enlightened and accept the beliefs other people hold dear.

Unfortunately, each and every one of us are locked into our own paradigms.  When we can't explain things fully for people to understand, we retreat back into the safety of our paradigm.  It is the paradigm that we hold on to so tightly that is choking the air out of our lungs.

Question all that is said.  I don't care who the person is or how popular they are.  Question them and if you aren't satisfied, continue to question them.  Don't accept what they say because its the popular thing to do and everyone has jumped on the bandwagon.

If you saw a wagon heading toward the cliff and everyone jumped on, would you jump on to the wagon?  If you tried to tell the same people that they were heading towards a cliff and they shunned you, would you stop trying to tell them?

In all reality, we as humans are like the wagon going towards the cliff.  Yet, everyone thinks that you have to jump on and be part of their group.  If you don't, they laugh and wail at you, but when you see they are going over the cliff, you can only weep in sadness for them.

Let's expand our awareness not by locking ourselves into religion or science or beliefs, but by recognizing that we are doing this.  Let's expand our consciousness by letting go of all that we think is truth so we can find truth.  Let's expand who we are by learning what it means to become human, not just one of the group riding over the cliff in the wagon.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/23/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Group Think Says Bye Now

I feel right now like the moment you get off the plane and they say, "bye now".  After all, that seems to be what is happening at this time.  I went on a group event and I had people follow me on here.  Of course, then I went and disagreed with the prophet of this group and boy did I hear about it. 

The message these "enlightened" individuals sent to me was, don't you dare disagree with our prophet.  For if you do, you will be exiled.  We will drop you like yesterday's news and we will have nothing to do with you.

Keep in mind, I didn't get mean or nasty or anything like that.  I simply voiced my view of what was said in a very respectful manner.  Many thought I was the problem and that I was so wrong I didn't know anything. The group think was strong.

There was no taking it in stride and listening.  There was no tolerance.  There was no openness to what I said.  It was either their way or the highway.

It reminds me too much of a closed minded intolerant church I grew up in and a father that it was either his way or the highway.  I guess, there are these people in life, but what bugs me the most is how "enlightened" they portray themselves to be while being so intolerant. 

Its mighty dangerous when we practice group think and force people to believe our enlightened views or be banned to damnation.  In all honesty, it really is not anything that is enlightened, but of course you can't begin to tell these people that they may be a little misguided.

Regardless, all I can say back to them for now is bye now.  If they want to practice group think, then I guess that's their moment of enlightenment.  Guess what though?  I'll be staying as far away from them as I can because I have no desire to be part of group think that is this closed minded.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/27/16 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Humanity Is More Than

That's it!  I'm tired of it.  I'm tried of the constant name calling from people regardless of the situation.  We don't discuss things, we just call names and see how sensational we can get in what we put on camera, write on a social media post and share with one another.

Does it surprise you just how messed up this country and world are?  Each of us is to blame because we all go to our corners, spouting our group think and avoiding what really matters in a day of the life we are living.  I don't care which side of the issue you're on, everyone does it!

When you share an article and claim that this person or that person has the right perspective on life in America, yet the article calls the "other side" names or puts labels on them, do you really think the author of that article has the answers?  Are you that caught up in the mass media group think of the day?


Everyone loves to have the answers and they love to share and post on Facebook or Twitter what they agree with.  However, no one wants to stop and just listen to another person about something other than the latest political headline of the day.  We are so caught up in the 10 second soundbite on TV, that we cannot even see the forest for the only tree standing in front of us.

Group Think

I'm always amazed at humans and society.  We know how to bring others into line with group think.  Sure, you can say what you want and we have a freedom (at least in this country) to say what we want, but if it goes against group think, there will be heck to pay.  It may be in politics or religions or in the job, community, or family.

Before you think that you don't participate in this, try saying something in your circle of people that goes against what they think or believe.  See how far you get before you get the rolling of the eyes, the clicking of the shocked faces or the silence of the key people.  See how long it takes before you notice how people look at you differently or out of disbelief.  See how long it takes before they gang up and smack you down?  Even in the groups that say they don't do this!

We have so many ways that we keep our circle in life within our means of what we want to hear, believe, speak, or think.  It happens every day.  Virtually no one is immune or able to hold this off.

In jobs, they want the best and the brightest, but when it comes to a differing opinion, they often want you to not share that with the boss.  After all, he/she doesn't understand what you all do, so it is far easier to just keep it between you and your immediate group and not rock the boat.

Group Think In Healing

Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk talks about a study where it was found that 12.4 percent of child in foster care received antipsychotic medications compared to 1.4 percent of children in general.  According to what he writes in this book, The Body Keeps The Score, these medications make the children more manageable and less aggressive.


As he continues the discussion, he talks about drugs becoming so profitable, that major medical journals rarely publish studies on nondrug treatments.  People who look at treatments outside of the drug realm are typically marginalized as alternative and generally not funded.

We see group think in healing within medical establishments all too often.  As long as you keep those hospital doors open and you keep those surgery and exam centers bringing in the dollars, you are considered to be acceptable.  About the time that you suggest the body can heal on its own without all these medications, procedures, vaccinations, and treatments, you're considered to be a nut and someone everyone should turn away from.   Group think is what is required and the only thing that is permissible.