Friday, July 14, 2017

A Simple Touch Can Change So Much

If you read my blog post from yesterday on "Traumatized By Seizures", you will understand more of what I am writing today.  All too often we are just not fully connected to life, and we fail to see that a simple touch can change so much.

I'm sure we would all agree that healthy touch is good, but why is it we live in a society where touch is not honored and celebrated?  If it were, everyone would be having weekly massages and sharing hugs with one another.  Yes, I know there are some that do this, but it is more the exception than the norm.

When I went through the seizures of Conversion Disorder, I was so frightened and I felt so alone.  Yes, people were there with me, but deep inside I wanted someone to help comfort me.  I wanted to feel supported.  I wanted to know I wasn't going through this alone.

Yet, no one touched me.   No one supported me.  Everyone just stared at me through their own frightened eyes.

I have now realized that just a simple touch is what I needed.  That simple touch could have changed so much in me.  My eyes fill up with tears as I think of how alone I felt in those moments.

If you want to inflict further pain and trauma on someone, just withhold touch in a moment like this.  If you want to change someone's life, use a simple touch and see what happens.

Touch doesn't have to be extravagant and skilled.  All you need is touch that says, "I care about you or I love you."  It can be as simple as laying your hand on someone's shoulder or touching their arm.  It can be as simple as lightly caressing their arm or back, or even holding on to their hand with strength and courage.

A simple touch just requires that you show up, not to manipulate or cause anything to happen, but just to be there in that moment without judgment or preconceived ideas of what should happen.  Touch can be so light, but with your presence and your heart, you can affect so much in another person.  It can be most powerful when you are just holding the space for someone.

We can see what anger and hatred and a lack of healthy simple touch is doing to our world.  We have the power to change that.  We don't have to wait or depend upon anyone else to do it for us.

For a long time though, I was so afraid of simple touch because of how badly my body was beaten, abused, and traumatized as a small child.  It took me a lot of hard work to accept touch and to accept a hug.  If you're in doubt, ask permission from someone before hugging and touching.  In that small act of asking them permission, you might just be helping them to take major leaps in healing.

Regardless, let's get away from being afraid of touching others and allowing ourselves to be touched.  Massage, in the professional sense, is about healthy touch, and the human body really needs that.

Let's make the world a better place by realizing that a simple touch can change so much in the life of another person.  Let's not forget it can also change OUR lives in big ways.

Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Blog Post And Images (c) 1/01/07 by Don Shetterly
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