Thursday, August 3, 2017

Healing Is Too Much Sometimes

Written By Don Shetterly

Many years ago, my former therapist shared something with me before the last session I had with her since I was moving.  She told me that many people just don't go far enough in therapy.  They stop after a few sessions and feel that is enough when in reality they need to go further.

I have seen this time and time again with myself and others, not only people I know but clients I have had.  It is just too darn easy to quit before you get to the point that you're healing those deep layers.

I know, it isn't easy healing.  I know, it isn't easy going through pains of life and uncovering them.  It is like a festered cut on your finger as you play in the salt mines.  There is just no way that is going to feel good. It reminds me of a story from my own experiences.

For awhile, I was working at a fertilizer plant.  It was easy to cut your finger, but because of the salt content, it was much harder to get your finger to heal.  The salt just kept the wound open, and it would burn when the salt touched the exposed area of the cut on my finger.  It wasn't until I was able to protect the cut or remove myself from this situation that it could finally heal.

Healing can be the same way.  Sometimes it just hits us and feels like the festered wound of a cut soaking in salt.  The thing is, if we continue to stay in that environment where we hunker down in the salt mines, we'll just keep causing more pain in life.

The layers of healing run deep.  They took a long time to build up and they are not going to disappear overnight or over a few therapy sessions.  We may trick ourselves into believing they will, but we will only be lying to ourselves.

When we experience things in life that are anything but good, we tend to bury them deep within our body and cells.  Every year that goes by, we pour another layer of cement on them.  After a time, the cement hardens and gets so thick that it becomes difficult at best, to get to them.

Yes, we can use a jackhammer and chip the layers of cement away, but the more years we have buried it, the deeper we must go.  Sometimes we get tired.  Sometimes ask ourselves, what is the use in continuing through healing?  Sometimes we think, this is more than I want to do and so we sit down to take a rest.  Just make sure, you don't sit there for a rest for the rest of your life.

Yes, healing is not easy.  There is a positive outcome as we get rid of the layers of past experiences we have endured.  Sometimes to heal, time is required.  It takes courage and determination.

Often it takes us saying that no matter what, we are not going to give up.  We're not going to let anything stop us.  Sometimes when we are at the point of saying "this is too much," it is then that we may just likely be on the edge of a major breakthrough.  We won't know unless we keep going.

http://amzn.to/1RltjbP

I've had those moments where I said, "this is too much" and I wanted to stop.  In fact, there were times that I did stop.  Life had a way of getting my attention and getting back to the point of seeking help that I needed.  If I had listened to the parts of me that wanted to give up, I would have missed the breakthroughs in my healing.

Life is a journey.  Life is about going in and reclaiming parts where life hurt us.  Yes, healing is too much sometimes, but the alternative is to live a life of pain and heartbreak.

The alternative is to stay stuck in that which we so desperately want to let go.  Healing is about digging through the layers and finding who we are, not what we experienced and done to us.








Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Anger Spilling Into Everything

Written By Don Shetterly



Every day I keep seeing more and more that almost gives evidence to the human population spinning out of control.  It is sad in my view because surely as human beings, we can be more than that.


We point the fingers at one another.  We become disrespectful with our social media words.  We look at everyone who doesn't agree with us as some part of the problem, not as a human like us.

I see anger spilling into everything.  Maybe it is because we do not know how to let the anger go as a civilization.  Maybe it is that there is so much anger that it is feeding off of every facet of our lives.  I just see anger spilling out into the simplest of moments.

Lately, I've gotten replies on tweets that boggle my mind.  The ones responding are either trying to sound cute or just responding out of anger and spite and disrespect.  I struggle to figure it out at times.  Even if you try to ask for clarification, they come back with even more anger-filled comments.

I've had people try to tell me how to run my stuff and tweet and write.  My system does work for me, but if it bothers someone so much that they respond with anger, maybe they need not follow me.  I cannot please all people all the time.  I don't understand the control that some will try to push upon others.

But more importantly, we need to stop and check our anger at the door.  Anger is far too prevalent these days, and the more we nurture its growth rather than acknowledging it and letting it go, the more we will harm ourselves and all humans.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2017/07/anger-bubbling-up.html

This world doesn't need more anger hurled at itself.  The world needs respect and love and compassion.

It is up to each one of us what we do and how we do this that makes all the difference.  If you connect into anger every day, that's what you are going to get back out.

While anger is spilling into everything these days, it is up to us to not be a part of that and show something different by our lives.  We alone can do that or we alone can add to the problem.





Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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Tuesday, August 1, 2017

We Help Through Our Own Vulnerability

In my many years of healing, I have found that we often hold back far too much.  We are afraid what others might think or scared of how we will impact them.  We walk on eggshells around them.  We hold back.

Yet, it is through our own vulnerability that we meet others where they are and we help them.  By sharing our pains and struggles, they find that they are not alone.  Together we accomplish much more healing than if we would have hidden inside our own cave, keeping vulnerability out of sight.

I do realize that it isn't easy being vulnerable and sharing, but I know from firsthand experience that it is crucial to helping others.  No one wants a scientific emotionless person there to be a sounding board.

You want someone that has walked through the fire.  You want someone to grab your hand and say, I'm here for you and I'll walk through the fire with you.  Together, we will make it.

They say it not as mere words, but as someone that has been there and fought every inch of the way to find their footing and existence in life.  They say it as an extension of their heart that they give without judgment, in pure love and compassion to say - I'm here for you.

I had many that were there for me, some in deeper ways than others.  Since others have been there for me, I try to be there for people who are needing help, support, or just someone that understands.

In this day and age, we've got too many people hurling insults at one another, but not enough that will say "I understand your pain.  I understand your struggle.  I've been there." We need more people to be there for one another, not stand opposed as is seen on every street corner of this world.

I share my struggle in this blog.  I share my struggle with those who know me personally.  I am often criticized for not "moving beyond" or "not being positive".  Yet, I know that many have shared with me how something has touched their lives.  They were impacted positively because they knew that someone understood and cared.

Sharing my struggle is my truth.  Quoting other people is their truth.  Coming up with my own set of beliefs to explain every mystery is not necessarily a valuable thing.  It can help, but more often than not, the beliefs hinder and blind us.

http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/2013/04/men-and-vulnerability-good-at-pretending.html

I don't plan on changing how I do things because I know that we help others through our own vulnerability.  When others are able to connect with us in those deep ways, their lives are transformed.  Often times, my own life is transformed as well.

Let's not hold back being human.  Let's not numb and disconnect into a positive and happy thought only reality.  Let's be real and authentic and through our vulnerability, let's show that to those who need a helping hand, a moment of support and understanding, or an extra ounce of love to know that they matter.







Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly
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