We Think We Lead Healthy Lives

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm more and more amazed at the behaviors I see every day when it comes to people's health.  We as a country claim we eat healthy, live healthy and do all we can to stay healthy.

Unfortunately, that is not true.

A recent news article showed just how much fast food consumption is increasing while everyone claims to be eating more healthy.  Just the kind of unconscious behavior that is alive and well in our world today.  People aren't in touch with what they actually do.  They lead themselves to believe they do more than they say they do.

I know - it is a harsh truth isn't it?  It doesn't sound nice.  We like to think EVERYONE else out there does these things, but we are all guilty of it.

If you don't believe me, go into your local grocery store.  See which things take up the most isle space.  It will prove my point many times over.

No one hardly eats food that is whole and unprocessed anymore.  Produce that is lightly steamed or cooked is a thing of the past for most.  Frozen vegetables or vegetables obliterated by cooking is what is for dinner!

I've had people tell me that frozen vegetables are the same as whole produce.  I hate to break it to you, but they are not.  Yes, they can measure out the vitamin and mineral percentages, but what is not accounted for is the enzymes and phytochemicals destroyed in processing.

In our house, we try to eat plenty of gently cooked whole vegetables in our day.  I can't remember the last time I went to a McDonalds or any other fast food place.  It is the place I eat at only if I'm starving and there's nothing else for 50 miles.

We don't go for the sugary coffees and energy drinks and soft drinks every day.  Most of the time, you'll only find water in our house to drink.

In 2009, we learned through Jeff Primack and Food Based Healing about whole food smoothies.  Nope, they aren't some mix or supplement that goes into them.  Nope, they aren't yogurt or ice cream or other nonhealthy stuff.  They are basic produce items.  You can read the blog post on My Flu Shot to learn more about them.

The other thing is, I don't get crazy worried about germs out there or other people getting sick.  To me, in my mind, if I do that it becomes nothing more than attracting that which I fear.  I don't need the extra stress and worry on my mind in this toxic stress world.

We also get bodywork with Dr. Paul Canali done frequently so our nervous system is more balanced and we're not taken under by the toxic stress.  I wish more people would do this.

So, when people come and tell me I should get a flu shot, I roll my eyes.  Why do I need to introduce that stuff into my body when I know how to take care of myself.  They claim that I will somehow put them at risk.  Really?  Then the flu shot is not that effective and if you have one, then using your facts, you would be protected.  So, the logic doesn't work at least in my mind.  Again, it is unconscious thoughts and behavior. 

It is a free country, and you can do what you want to do, but this is the path I've chosen.  Just know that I'm not in agreement with what most of this world does.  I think it is short-sighted and unconscious.

If people focused on truly taking care of themselves from what they eat to dumping the toxic stress, we'd all be better off in this world.  Of course, that feels like utopia to me, but I still hope that we as a world will wake up.

Words Without Action Don't Mean Much

Words without action don't mean much in my opinion.  We seem to get that this is true, but yet in our civilization, humans fail to comprehend this concept.

Of course, if you are reading this, I'm sure you've never done this.  Words without action is probably something someone else does, right?  After all, we would never ever think of doing this.  I'm just being crazy, or am I?

So here are some examples that might help you see if you fall into this trap of words without action.

I see all too often that we preach love and acceptance to everyone.  We despise bullies and those that only see others through a narrow lens.  However, then the same people that are so put off by the rhetoric of hate and narrow-minded thinking can be found doing the same thing.  If you truly listen to yourself and watch what you share online or what you say in the privacy of only those that agree with you, it would be horrifying.

Another example is how people say they want to heal their lives or move on from situations, but what they do is anything but working towards this goal.  It is words without action.  They want to heal if it doesn't involve them going deep into areas of discomfort and stepping outside of their comfort zone.  They want to heal as long as it doesn't involve them going beyond the paradigms and belief system they know.  The desire to heal is there as long as it doesn't upset the family or social structure in their lives.

Last but not least is the example of saying phrases that are words without action.  They are statements that don't mean much.  For instance, you could constantly say to someone, "I love you," except that far too often, it is nothing but words.  There's no follow through with the words such as in action you take. 

You might tell someone that you miss them, but do absolutely nothing to stay in touch.  Either you are too busy for them, or you act as if there is no way to communicate.  You find a million excuses to go along with these words.  

Words without action show your priorities are off or you don't believe what you say.  They belittle those that bear the brunt of them.  They become passive aggressive swords that inflict pain.  

The world really needs people who are authentic.  We don't need more people who speak or write words without action because they just don't mean much.  You can claim all day long that it is everyone else that does this, but unless each one of us looks in the mirror, we won't see the log in our own eye.

Make your life authentic.  Make your life count so that when others hear you speak, your word is impeccable.  Don't be the person that speaks the words without action taken! 

  

Modern Day Communication Is Failing

I really get irked these days by the modern day communication.  Everyone thinks that to have many followers is somehow a status of significance and importance in life.  I hate to break it to you, but it is not!

The old man on pawn stars said it perfectly on an episode.  As Chumlee was telling him how many Facebook friends he had, he asked him how many of them would show up to help him move on a weekend.  Of course, the answer was, probably not many. 

Not that we can't have friends on Facebook or Twitter and develop some deep, meaningful relationships with them, there is a limit to the role they play in life.  As humans, we need that physical interaction.  We were meant to have that physical connection to enhance life, not only see a figment of pixels online.

These days, we go from one feed to the next, screaming, ranting, raving, and liking or sharing what the masses are saying.  We join the crowd with the latest rant, or we beg our friends to like, retweet, share, or answer silly game questions.  It is as if these things matter far more than anything else in life. 

However, we don't communicate with others in the way that we think we do.  In fact, I would strongly suggest that communication is so poor these days, we've almost forgotten what it is. 

We have all these ways of communicating with one another and yet we're really not communicating.  I hear far too often, I'm so sorry because I've just been too busy to connect with you.  Really?  A text message or an email takes that long to write?  Calling someone on the phone is such a burden?

When I grew up, we had long distance calls.  There were no cell phones, text messages, email, instant messenger or tweets.  You had to find a phone and then place a call which was expensive because almost everything was long distance.  Letters were more common then. 

Don't get me wrong in that I'm saying all social media or modern forms of communication are wrong.  However, don't tell me that you can't keep in touch because you don't have enough time.  It isn't that you don't have enough time as much as what you consider a priority and how you manage your life.

If people truly matter in life to us, we'll make time for them.  Maybe we'll realize that the constant screaming and ranting and raving is just noise in our day.  Not everyone needs to see our shared political rants or religious beliefs.  Not all of us want to be coerced into donating money to your favorite cause.

Instead, I'd love to see people treat each other as humans.  This does not mean posting the latest meme but actually doing it.  We are all too fake in this world, and it is getting to the breaking point.

The Happy Birthday messages on Facebook still blows my mind.  Everyone can click and say Happy Birthday, but what about sending a card.  What about a heartfelt message?  Does anyone still remember what it means to receive an actual card in the mail?  To me, I treasure those.

We really need to reverse course on how we are interacting with one another in modern day communications.  If we're not careful, we will wake up one day and not recognize anyone around us.  We'll become more fearful of people on the street because we don't know who they are.

When this happens, we will have failed in what it means to be human.  Unfrotunately, we're not too far off from this point.

You Don't Have To Engage

Written By Don Shetterly

For some reason, I do not understand, we as humans think we need to engage in every fight that comes along.  Just a little tip here which I'm sure you've heard before, You don't have to engage.

Now, I know, everyone will claim they don't engage.  Many will state they rise above everything.  Many will deplore what is going on.  However, what is said to the masses and what is done while no one is looking do not match up.

I'm sorry.  I hate to be the bearer of honest news to everyone, but I see this day in and day out.  It isn't hard to figure out with a couple of clicks on the internet.  What we say to the world and what we do are not the same actions.

The more significant point is you don't have to engage with the turmoil and screaming of the day.  The world will go on whether you do or not.  If we're not careful, we're just adding more fuel to the fire.

Yep, somehow we think that dumping our own fuel on the fire is helpful, but basic science teaching says that dumping fuel, only increases the fire.  I know you'll tell me you don't do this.  It is all those other people that do.  This is where I cringe and just let you continue to think that you don't do this.

I get it.  We are humans.  When we feel scared or threatened or attacked, we want to bring it on and let everyone know just what we think.  It does make sense.  However, don't you need to ask yourself if you're really helping the situation by responding the way you do?

As Oprah said the other day to Jimmy Kimmel, "You don't win by meeting any kind of negativity head-on."  There is much truth to this statement.

Everyone thinks they are right and so they engage.  They don't listen to what someone has to say.  It doesn't matter if you are on one side of the issue or another in this country.  No one listens to another because they have their minds made up.

When we continuously engage in this screaming and negativity, we're not helping anything.  Most of all, we're keeping our mind, body, and nervous system revved up, and that's not healthy.  It creates more stress.  Stress creates illness and health issues.  The end result is we end up hurting ourselves.

I'm not saying to crawl under a rock and hide, but you don't have to engage.  You can listen to someone say something that you don't agree with because maybe they have a point in there that you need to hear.  You can do what others don't do to you thereby modeling behavior that is more healthy and respectful.

Most of all, don't get in the middle of the mud pit and expect to come out looking any different than the other people.  Rise above it with love, understanding, and compassion.  Use your life to help teach and show others a different route through it.

Remember - you don't have to engage!

A Gaping Wound Of Society

Written By Don Shetterly

As I write this, I am seeing the news of the massacre that happened in Las Vegas.  Last night about the time it started, I was awakened by an uneasy feeling.  Just like in the Pulse Nightclub attack, I felt what was going on.  It is not an easy thing to deal with when you physically feel these horror filled moments.

I'm struggling to focus as I write this because I am stunned.  Like so many others, I can find no way to comprehend how anyone could do such a thing to innocent people.  I cannot comprehend what it was like to be there in that moment of what Jason Aldean said, "beyond horrific!"

This continues to be a gaping wound of society.  It feels like one tragedy after another.  It feels like there is no guaranteed tomorrow.  We wonder if we're next.  It frightens and numbs us.

We're living in a country right now where everyone thinks screaming at one another is a good thing.  There is no listening and there is hardly any compassion to be found.  Instead we blame one another.  We point fingers at one another.  We call each other names.

There is no respect for one another.  It seems like we only see each other as an enemy, not as a fellow human that is walking this earth the same way we are.

What will it take to stop this...

I wonder what it will take to stop this.  I wonder when it will end.  It is mind boggling to me just how much hate there is in the world, both directed internally and externally.

The way this event will touch the lives of so many will unfold in the days and months ahead.  I still remember the Pulse Nightclub attack and how it left all of us in this area dazed and confused.  It still hits me in the gut knowing what happened.

The only thing I can add in this blog post with is what someone on twitter wrote.  I think it is a perfect thought for this moment, because I know of no other thing that makes sense to me right now.

Don't let all these tragedies numb your empathy towards humanity...#LasVegas

— Only In Boston (@OnlyInBOS) October 2, 2017

May each of us work to find a way to reverse the course we are on in this world.  It is not up to anyone else but each of us individually.

If we share those tweets that spread the hatred, we're fanning the flames.  If we connect and propagate on those that only know hate and divisiveness, then we're as much a part of the problem.

I hope we choose differently as individuals.  The violence and hatred has got to stop.  It is not helping humanity.  We all have to look long and hard at how we contribute to this.

Let not our actions in a day or what we engage in be part of the gaping wound of society.  Let us be the healing balm applied so the wound disappears and scar tissue forms.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Dental Anxiety and Teeth Brushing

Written By Don Shetterly

I've got a feeling I'm not the only one out there struggling with this issue.  In fact, I know others that have admitted this to me.  If you've followed me for some time, you've probably seen that I struggle with dental anxiety.

Now, I'm not just talking about being a little afraid of going to the dentist.  I'm referring to full on anxiety attacks in just making an appointment.  For me to pick up the phone, that's when the anxiety at full speed.  Getting into the dentist office is nothing short of running 20 marathons in a single minute.

One of the things I truly struggle with is anytime anyone puts anything in my mouth like the dentist.  I freak out.  I freeze.  My body literally goes into such a fear response that it becomes very rigid.  I'm so frustrated with this and I put off much needed work until it got so bad I had not choice but to go in and struggle with my fears.

A dentist I've found close to me is very good about working with me.  I do use some medication to help me get in the door and I have a trusted friend with me at all times.  In fact, my friend is the one that makes the appointments and handles anything over the phone on this, because I just can't bring myself to do this part.

One of the things I've noticed in myself about dental anxiety is how difficult it is to brush my teeth.  I grew up doing this every day, but when the memories of abuse triggered me so much, it was an all out battle to get myself to brush my teeth.

Now, I have noticed that just to insert the toothbrush into my mouth is triggering beyond any words I could write here.  Of course, this compounds the problem.  I'm pushing myself to brush my teeth now, but it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I do.

I just want people to be aware of this, especially dentists.  Some of us struggle so hard and while we try to trust the professionals, it is not easy.  As I said, it feels like I'm being abused and molested every time I go for a dentist appointment.  My dentist is great and works with me, but no matter what, I feel that trigger.  My body feels it.  My body reacts to it.

Even writing about this is difficult and I can feel the anxiety and heat rise within me.  It is not a simple trigger to me.  I'd so love to get beyond it and be able to go to the dentist office like normal people do.  I hate this part about life because it is exhausting and overwhelming.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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We Point Fingers

Written By Don Shetterly

Lately, all across the planet, it seems to be human means we stand opposed to one another.  We point the fingers and exclaim that everyone else is the problem.  We hold our heads up high while bashing everyone who doesn't believe our way.

The issue doesn't matter.  From the more serious ones to the little ones, we point the finger and say "you're either with us or you're against us."  There is no middle ground.  There is no listening.  There is no acceptance of anything outside our personal belief systems.

It doesn't seem to matter how enlightened people claim to be or how religious and God-loving they are.  Everyone points the fingers while thinking they have the truth.  They believe they have all the answers.  They believe no one knows what matters the way they do.  When I say they, I mean the "collective we" in our society.

We See Things Our Way...

We judge but demand others not judge us.  We torment and ridicule, but we hate it when the same is done to us.  We fail to listen to others and their points of view while demanding that they adhere to ours.  We speak as if are the only ones with the right to talk while telling all others to shut up and sit down because they have nothing of value to say.

I'm not saying all things that are said, need to be heard.  In fact, I believe many need to practice some self-control and learn which things are good for public discourse and which things are not.  In this day and age of the internet, we all feel that every thought that passes through us must be shared with the world instantaneously.  Thanks, social media, for doing us such a big disservice!

Instead of focusing on what is in our own heart and learning to let go of our own anger and pain and stress of life, we inflict it upon everyone we meet.  We show them our hatred through our words and our actions.  We show them our pain through our inability to just let go and move on.

We Are Part Of The Problem...

We give a voice to the crazy thoughts of the day when we point our fingers at them in judgment.  We give a voice to the crazy talk when we have to share, pass on, retweet, and like everything they say.  We are as much a part of the problem as the ones sharing the trash.  Yet, we hold ourselves up high as we are somehow enlightening the world.

If you add crazy to crazy, you're only going to get a more crazy response.  If you add hatred to hate, you're only going to see more hate.  If you antagonize anger with anger, you're going to see anger on display at every corner.

We need to really stop and think about how our actions are contributing to the overall demise of the world.  We may believe that we are doing something positive, but when we elevate the crazy trash of the day, then we are part of the problem.  We need to stop being part of the problem.

Let's stop judging ourselves and therefore others.  Let's stop pointing the finger at others and therefore ourselves.  Let's stop hating and showering anger upon the world, expecting love in return.

Instead, let us show love to the world by first starting to show love within ourselves.  Let love begin within us.  Let us rid our hearts of hatred, judgment, and anger so that we can fill it with love.  Let us let go of all those we point the finger at, and see the spark of light that is within each human being.

Remember, when you point a finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing back at you.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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My Issues And Your Issues

Written By Don Shetterly

As I get older, I am beginning to see things differently in life.  I guess that's part of the maturing process because what once seemed to be important has shifted.  I see things differently.  I understand things differently than I once did.


Through these changes, I'm seeing that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, good and bad.  We've got moments where we triumph in our life, and we shine with all our strengths, abilities and talents.  However, we've got the other side.

There are the issues we struggle with and the weaknesses we harbor within ourselves.  Sometimes these flaws and shortcomings are on display for the whole world to see.  At other times, we hide them from anyone outside of where they exist.

I've learned that I can be vulnerable with people close to me and it is okay.  Being vulnerable is not easy for me, and I really thank Brene Brown for what she has taught on this subject.  Sometimes I just don't want anyone to think I'm what I think I am inside, even though my view may be distorted.

In many ways, I think we are all like that to some degree with some more so than other people.  There are some that completely distort how the world and those close them see their lives.

I was good at hiding things...

In fact, at one time before I went through paralysis and Conversion Disorder, everyone around me thought I had the world together and I was happy all the time.  I was good at hiding things back then.

I remember my mom going to work and she could be as sick as one could be, but no one would see it.  I learned so much from her how to hide my true self from the world.  Yet, at the same time, it meant I kept myself from interacting with the world and possibility and joy.

One thing I have noticed is that we tend to see ourselves in a more perfect light when we try to impress everyone around us.  We don't want everyone to see our flaws.  We hide it and distort it and paint the picture of what we want them to see.  Sometimes there are moments where this may be needed.

Yet, deep inside we sometimes feel fragile and damaged and not having much skill, talent, or good to our lives.  Even when others see how much we offer, we sometimes cannot see this in ourselves, and so we hold the "frail" image of ourselves as the measurement of all that exists in life.

We insulate ourselves...

If we go too far with hiding ourselves from the world and not allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we tend to go around lashing out at others.  We join the bandwagon with the rest of the folks tearing others down, hurling hateful insults against one another and highlighting their issues.  It is the way we hide from ourselves because if we put the spotlight on others, we insulate our true self.

Social media gives us a high speed interstate to point out the issues of others and focus on the distorted view we see within ourselves.  It is one of the negatives of social media that sometimes really frustrates me.  Of course, it is our choice how we interact with it personally, but I hope that we can move in the direction where we use it for positive change, not hate and insults and unconsciousness.

All of us have our issues.  We were born with them, and we picked some of them up along the way through our families, schools, communities, and circle of people we know.  It is okay to have issues, but hopefully, we learn from them while recognizing that instead of pointing out the issues of everyone else, we can do much more by working on our own.

I keep challenging myself to be more and learn more about my life.  I don't want those days pre-Conversion Disorder when I showed that everything was fine to the world and I was in a hundred kinds of pain.

Being real and authentic and working to improve our lives each day - that's the ticket to becoming more and learning from our issues.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Laura's Book Impacted My Life

Review Written by Don Shetterly

There are very few things I read that have such a great impact on me.  This book that Laura Corbeth wrote, My Courage To Tell, is one such book.  I'm stunned with how much it touched me.  I'm stunned at the way a chance connection made this possible.  Soon, I'll be sitting down with Laura to conduct an interview that will be shared on this blog.


Anyone who has followed this blog for very long knows that I too wrote a book about some of the experiences I went through growing up.  It is called, Hope And Possibility Through Trauma.

Part of what I experienced, in addition to the sexual abuse and torture, was psychological abuse like what Laura shares in her book.  I've actually never heard anyone talk about it so eloquently as she did.  She shared her story and through it, her own self-discovery and realization of healing her life.  Laura was so open in what she shared.

The psychological stuff for me included the following... and this is only a minor list.

• My brother tormented me all my life.  He lied a lot, and that’s one of the things that resonated with me from her book.  I used to hate his lying so much.  He would lie about the stupidest things.  We had these tiny little plastic American Building Bricks that I loved to play with.  When he would lie, my dad would get mad at both of us and threaten to throw them in the fireplace.  I finally got to the point where I’d speak up because I was tired of being punished because of his lies.
• He did many horrendous things to me.  Another that resonated from the book was how he would pin me down.  He was overweight and much larger than me.  I was a small-framed kid.  He would get me down on his back and jump up and down with his knees on my upper arms as he stretched them out on the ground.  I still suffer from the physical pain of that.
• I was beaten and hit by my brother and dad.  I’ve had a garden hoe taken to me, a shovel and belts/boards – whatever they could get their hands on, they would use on me.  For a long time in my life, I would find rocks and sticks to hit myself with when life got too rough.  As a kid, my older brother hit me with a round point shovel and caused me to bleed.  He tried to keep me from going inside to get my mom to help me.  He didn't want to get into trouble.
• When Laura talks about the frogs, I’m overwhelmed.  I saw what my brother did to a frog with his bicycle when I was in kindergarten.  I saw my dad kill my pets to help silence me.  I saw my brother and my dad be mean to my pets.  My dad got mad at my dog and shot the dog as it was running down the road.  When my dog finally died of cancer, I was in college, and as it spent the last few days at the vet’s office, the vet and I cried over the phone – when he saw the buckshot still lodged in the feet of my dog.  I’m a fierce protector of animals.  I have a degree in animal science.  No one ever got away with hurting any animal under my watch. 

So many things that Laura shared in her book sounded all too real to me based on my own experiences.  I still struggle and deal with what I went through because it runs deep.  I continue to work through them, and heal my life to the core with every new realization that appears.

I cannot believe I survived and made it this far in life.  I'm beyond ecstatic to see someone like Laura share her story in the way she did.

When I was reading the book, it took me a day and a half to finish it.  I could not put it down.  Laura does an excellent job of weaving the events together into a story that captivates you and holds your attention.

I strongly suggest you check out her book, her website, and the podcast interview she did because it is very enlightening.  See the links below.

We've all got our stories, but if we don't share them, the abuse and horror will continue.  It is up to each one of us to do as Laura did and share your story.  You will touch others, and through touching their lives, they will find more possibility and hope and healing.

Our silence gives a fertile soil for abuse to continue.  Make a difference by speaking up and telling your story.  If you would like a platform to do this, let me know, and I will help you.  I'm always careful that it is not about vengeance, as Laura discusses, but instead that it stands up and says, "I'm taking back my life."

Check Out These Links

• Website:  MyCourageToTell.com
• Podcast:  Podcast with Dr. Berney
• Twitter:   @Laura_Corbeth
• Amazon: My Courage To Tell

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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When Pain Gets Your Attention

Written By Don Shetterly

Sometimes,  I don't always listen or heed what I write sometimes.  I'm no different than anyone else after all.  I'm merely human too.  Yes, I'm admitting it.  Yes, we humans don't always practice fully what we preach, but it doesn't stop any of us from preaching it!

For some time now I've been having extreme pain in my teeth.  In fact, I had gotten to the point where I didn't really notice most of it.  That is until it got so bad.  We can go for a time ignoring and numbing pain in our life, but when it gets too bad, that is when the pain gets your attention.

It Is A Paralyzing Fear...

I have written about my dental anxiety and fear many times on this blog.  Regardless, each time I go into a dentist office or attempt to make an appointment, it is the same intense fear that I encounter.  It is a paralyzing fear.  It is the point where I convince myself that I can put this off.  When the pain finally gets my attention, I realize I cannot ignore it any longer.

For some time, I've used some homeopathy remedies to help, and while they helped, they didn't solve the issue.  I needed to go get things taken care of, but I used the remedies to further disconnect myself from it and let the fear win.  I still remember the nasty dude on social media that instead of being helpful, he came at me with a vengeance because of how I was dealing with the teeth issues.  I still marvel at how people who think they have the answers will bash someone in the head if they don't agree.  That's another story for another time.

Pain Over Powered The Anxiety...

Anyway, when the pain got so intense, it over powered the fear and anxiety I had.  There was no going back.  There was no second guessing it.  The pain was far more intense and challenging than the anxiety, and that's a big statement!

Fortunately, I've found a dentist that cares and is kind and gentle.  I explained that my difficulty is because of the torture and child sexual abuse I went through as a kid.  Making an appointment to see the dentist invokes intense anxiety in me.  Walking in the door is monumental.  Getting an x-ray feels like I'm being tortured and abused leaving me in a state of panic where I can hardly breathe.

I know a ton of stuff about relaxation and staying connected.  I know and practice many things including breathing, but there is nothing that prepares me for dental experiences.  I hate taking medications of any type, but in this case, I will take the happy little pill that takes the edge off of the anxiety and fear.  It is the only way I can get in the door for dental procedures.

With the intense pain that was getting my attention, I saw just how physically exhausting it is.  It almost consumes and takes over my body at times.  It alters how I view myself and the world around me.  Sometimes though, it feels like this is normal to my body and even with all the work I've been through, at times I forget it isn't.

The dentist told me before I left her office that I deserve to be pain-free.  You know, I had not thought about that until that moment.  I've learned to live with the pain of being tortured and abused and sometimes it is easy to forget, that I don't have to live with it.  I can choose differently.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Growing Up With Hate Disguised As Love

Written By Don Shetterly

As a kid, we went to church, every Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other day there were activities.  Church services and prayer meetings were the norms for our lives.  Days and meals were planned around it.  No one was exempt from going, and you were expected to be there.


In each prayer meeting or church service, the participants (our family included) talked about loving one another.  We talked about how we were somehow different from all the rest of the population.  We talked about how we were holier than all the rest of the people living on the planet.

We tried to be good people and do the right thing most of the time.  We sought to be honest, upstanding, loving, kind and generous when we could We put our offering in the collection plate and sometimes I saw my dad give their entire life's savings while we starved, but we were doing it in the name of all that was holy.

Not Gossip - It Was Prayer Requests...

We didn't mind the gossip that went on in the church because we didn't call it that.  Instead, we referred to it as prayer requests.  We'd offer up prayers in the circle while many would raise eyebrows at hearing the news of various participants.  That was okay though because we were praying about it of course.

We would get back in the car to leave the church service or prayer meeting and boy that is when the discussion of the prayer requests (a.k.a gossip) would start up with intensity.  It was as if there were only a few minutes to discuss it.  I would listen as my parents talked without a pause.

It would bother me, but you didn't dare stand up and say anything for fear of being beat.  You couldn't expose the error in what family was doing because you got it when you got home.  I just had to sit there and listen to it while it made my stomach turn.  Yet, we were a loving family who was special and went to church.  Gossip was something others did.

With the same breaths of love and kindness, we would turn our attention to all those that we disagreed with from our neighbors to other members of the church.  The minister, of course, was not exempt with this, but because it was in the secrecy of our car and home, no harm was done.  After all, we proved that we had love for one another.

Didn't Know Our Actions Were Hate Filled...

If people thought differently than what the ruler in our family proclaimed as the law, we despised them and distanced ourselves from them.  You could say that we hated them, but then no one would have admitted that in this moment or at any time.  For we were Christians.  We were called by God so we could not have hate.  We didn't know that our actions were hate filled.

Never mind the domestic violence and child sexual abuse that was going on in the family.  Never mind that the thought of sparing the rod and spoiling the child was enacted to the extreme.  These were regular parts of our family while we acted as if we loved everyone and hated no one.

I escaped from that life, and it was not easy to leave it behind.  Because of other situations in my life with healing from Conversion Disorder, I had to walk away from my entire family to save my life.  I was cast out as a son that was brainwashed by psychiatrists who didn't know that his family loved him.  I was shoved aside until I came to my senses.  All the loyalty that had been demanded of me throughout my life was now cut off because I no longer lived by the family code I grew up with as a kid.

My Family Still Practices Hate...

To this day, I see those in my family who still practice the hate.  They disguise it as love, but the hate has blinded their hearts.  They no longer can tell a difference.  It is sad observing it from outside the family.  Some days, I can barely believe this is the family I grew up in.

I see things happening in the world and our country which reminds me of those years I have longed to forget.  The one-way loyalty and the hate disguised as love.  The superiority of some as they lift themselves up over the ones they have trampled.  I see a disdain for what is really the truth, hidden by everything under the sun that is not.

If you tried to confront anyone about this, they would laugh and spit in your face.  Yet, the same people puff themselves up as the arbitrators of truth, justice, and love.  Instead, the judgment shown by most people towards others, even the ones that cloak it with some love, is one of the most hurtful things you can do towards another.

I grew up in the church and the family that judged everyone while we smiled, hugged them, and told them, "I Love You!"  We thought we were the best that life had to offer.  We thought we were right and everyone else was wrong.  As I've put distance in my healing from my family, I realized just how wrong we were.  We were not only part of the problem, but we were the problem.

No one wants to look hard into their own life and see the garbage then need to throw out the window.  No one wants to acknowledge their actions and thoughts and words as being not only part of the problem but the problem facing this world.  Everyone is quick to judge everyone but themselves, and I weep at the sadness of this behavior.

Living life in this world is not always easy but the more we hide our heads in the sand, duck behind the knowledge of truth, the more we make it an arduous journey.  We're not as great as we proclaim because a great life is seen through actions, not words.  We can speak the words, but if we do not live the life that we preach, we are nothing more than a clanging gong.

What is in our heart and mind and body is what we display to the world.  We can mask our hate and project it on to everyone else, but until we go in and search our own heart and mind, we will be part of the problem.  Let us open our eyes and become aware of what we truly do, not what we say to convince the world.

I work each day to de-program my mind from the brainwashing I endured as a kid.  I work each day to love others through my heart and actions, not just the words I write or say.  Every day, I strive to release all the toxicity and poison that was pumped into me as I was taught the truths of life.  I am the only one that can change how I live my life now.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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Be A Positive Force In This World

Written By Don Shetterly

My heart is sad when it comes to the events going on across our country and the world.  This is not about politics, and if you think it is, you're sorely mistaken.  If you know me at all, you know that I do not subscribe to what the masses say on any level.

I see people that are so angry and so hurt.  I see people that are asleep and numb and disconnected.  I see individuals who view others as the enemy, not as humans walking this same planet.  It pains me.  It hurts me.  I weep, and yet my tears do no good.

There is far too much hate and too little love.  There is far too much judgment and too little understanding.  We stand opposed, rather than united to journey through our lives to discover more about who we are.

I'm perplexed because everyone points the fingers at each other.  We exclaim that we know what is best and all others are stupid, dumb, or irrelevant.  We fail to listen to each other while we scream how worthless all others are.

We hold out to the world just how enlightened we are and righteous and good.  We hold out to the world that we are superior and we know all.  We hold out to the world we are peace loving and conscious.  Yet, our actions contradict our every word.

If We Do Not Find Peace Within...

If we do not find peace within ourselves, we will not find it throughout the world.  If we do not learn to accept ourselves, the world will never accept us.  If we see others as stupid or idiotic or misguided and wrong, the rest of the world will see us in that way.

It does not matter what the world proclaims.  It matters more what you feel and think and believe on the inside.  If you want peace, it must first begin within you.  If you want love throughout the world, it must first begin within you.  If you want others to accept you as a valid human, you must first accept others in the same way.

We're at a crossroads I believe in humanity and either we keep heading down into the darkness of the world where there is no peace, or we rise above it all.  It is solely up to each one of us, but it isn't just words.  It is action that backs up our words.  It is action that shows what truly is in our mind, body, soul, and heart.

Let us be a force for positive change by changing our lives in a way that shows what love and peace are to the world.  This blog post is about taking a hard look at who we are as individuals and seeing what role we truly play in the world.

I implore you.  I beg you as the reader to help make a positive difference through taking stock of your own life.  I'm attempting to do the same.  Together we will make it further in this harsh world, rather than divided where we will not stand.

Let's stop pointing the fingers.  Let's cease to be part of the cycle of hate.  Instead, let our lives show love so brightly that it will take over the darkness.

I love this video because I believe it says so much.  It is Matisyahu singing and performing "One Day."  The words speak volumes.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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I Was Never Good Enough For My Dad

Written By Don Shetterly

I used to hate having to go get tools for my dad.  My older brother would treat me the same way as my dad treated me.  They were too freaking lazy to go get the tools themselves and so I’d have to trek all the way to the barn where we had them.

Of course, the tools were never where they said they were.  Of course, they didn’t know how to properly identify them.  So, I would have to guess and hope I brought the right one back.

Most of the time I failed.  I would be berated with the following statements:

"You don’t have any common sense." 

"If the tool would have been a snake, it would have bit you." 

"Can’t you do anything right?" 

Those and many more statements filled the void around me.  They made me nervous.  They caused so much anxiety in me.

If my dad got real mad, he’d pick up a shovel, a garden hoe, a board or anything else within his reach and beat me with it.  Minor infractions meant that he would just kick you, and I mean physically kick you. 

Afterwards, I would get blamed for not putting the tools away in the correct spots.  There were no “spots” for the tools, only general locations.  My dad would never return things back to where he found them, but it was always our fault.  Then we’d have to clean up the barn all over again, only for the scenario to repeat.

I remember one time in college, I had come home and changed the oil in my car.  I put things back where they were supposed to go.  Days later I get this letter from my dad.  Now, my dad could barely put words together to form a sentence on paper and hardly ever sent a letter to anyone.  This letter was blasting me for how irresponsible and immature I was because I left his “garage” a mess.  It wasn’t me that did that.  It was someone else, but of course I got blamed.

Fault in the smallest of things...

Nothing I ever did was good enough for my dad.  He would find fault in the smallest of things.  Even in the music that I created, I can still remember him criticizing me because it had mistakes in it.  His anger fumed at me when I replied to him, “but how can it have mistakes – I’m just creating it?”

When I bought my first pickup, it wasn’t good enough because I didn’t ask his permission, even though I was out of college, working a good job, and paid for it on my own.  He thought I should get his approval first.  It did not matter that I got the best deal I most likely ever got on buying a vehicle.

When I got tired of waiting on him to help me build a hay feeding bunk for my sheep, I finally just did it on my own.  The sheep needed it badly and day after day, he kept telling me he was too busy to help me.  No, it wasn’t perfect, but it worked.  He could only criticize me and it for every little flaw that he magnified in his own eyes.  Nothing was ever good enough for my dad.

When I would play the piano in high school choir events, he would gloat that I was his son.  It wasn’t that I played beautifully.  It was about how I was related to him and he made sure that he was the focus of the event to everyone that knew us.  His responses to me in private though were nitpicking how much he hated the music I was given to play.  This was from a man that had no concept of music, but he sure was a critic.

When I tried to go to college, he was all for it if I got a good paying job and it was more of a hands-on trade.  Yet, my dad resented the money I was offered for my first job.  While in college and for years after, I would hear that I was nothing more than an over educated college idiot.  No matter how humble and true I was with people, my father resented that I was doing better than he was.

Jealous of me...

I dealt with my older brother and my dad being completely jealous of me in everything I did.  They expected someone to walk up and hand them what they needed.  I, on the other hand, worked my butt off to get what I needed.  I was well known and successful for my hard work in the area where we grew up.  I never had to look for work.  It always found me.  Regardless, though, I had to deal with the never-ending jealously by my dad and older brother.  Anything I had, they thought they should have, even if they did nothing to get it.

I’ve been called so many names.  I’ve been hit and beaten so hard.  I am not sure how I made it this far in life.

I always try to stay humble and be who I am.  However, that was never enough for them and it made my life hell for many years. 

In recent years, I’ve started to really come to terms with that, but I would be lying if I said that none of what I had been through with my dad and older brother did not impact everything I do to this day.

It is my goal to keep reminding myself that they were the bullies in my life and because of their own shortcomings, they felt threatened by me.  However, that is their circus.  It is their dysfunctional issues.  I no longer desire to own them.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Our Bodies Are Not Made To Be Sick

(Written by Insights Into Healing, Barbara)

My grandmother was the one who introduced me to natural healing. When I was around 11, she told me what most people say about sickness is wrong…  and if you believe them, then you are giving in to that part that doesn’t have to be true.  She taught me I could heal any stomach ache, and almost any pain.  That’s where that belief stuck with me.

We need to teach children at a very early age that it’s not normal to be sick.   Our bodies are not made to be sick.   They’re made to be well!  Sicknesses often come from the misguided part of our beliefs, and that comes through from generation to generation.  You have parents that have a child who gets a headache, and they’re running them to the emergency room.   You’re teaching them at a young age that no matter how you feel, if it’s uncomfortable, there’s something wrong with you.   On the other hand, if you’re taught that you are well, that there is no sickness inside of you, then the opposite will happen.

Create and Reverse Illness...

Not only can our minds create illnesses, but they can also reverse them.  That’s how powerful our minds are.  We are the creator of our story, our life, what we carry inside us.

People buy into surgery and drugs as the norm.    Surgery puts your body through all kinds of trauma, instead of letting it heal on its own.  People are also tired of the medical field telling them to take this or take that pill.  You’re only meant to take them for a very short time, not a lifetime, and they give them to you for a lifetime.  Then they add to it because it no longer works.

The Mind Is The Power...

I’ve learned over and over again that our mind is the power.  If we can correct our mind to let go of the false beliefs, the ego, and what is dictated to us, then we can turn inward to discover whatever is inside our body, be it cancer or any illness at all, and literally heal it.   But it takes a lot of work.  Is it possible?  Yes, it’s possible, it happens all the time.  It’s about our inward communication.

The more I go in, the more work I do inside of myself, in my body, the more I discover that memory is stored everywhere.   It’s not just the stomach, it’s not just the heart, it’s everywhere, and our life stories – the things that have been painful to us, that have hurt us, that have created anger and hate -- are stored in all areas of the body, just waiting to come out and be healed.  The cells tell the mind what to do.

Going inward and surrendering to it will open the story.  It will pop a memory in your brain so fast.  To surrender does not mean to forget.   Surrendering is the part that says you just let go, and it comes out.  It’s not that all of a sudden the memory comes into your head and you decipher it.   When you do that, you’re putting It back into your body.

What you want to do is heal the pain, not just take it away.  The pain is there to remind you not to forget that there’s something that needs to be healed.  When you have the pain, you have that opportunity to go in and see what it is.   Is it a certain memory?  Is it a certain emotion?  When you find what it is, don’t take it and see what you can do with it.   Acknowledge it.  That’s it.   It’s in acknowledgment that the body releases it.   You no longer need to carry this. 

You can release it!

 - Barbara (Insights Into Healing)

Read all of Barbara's Columnist Posts

(Editorial assistance by Jeff Lemlich)

 

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Barbara

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Unified Therapy

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Barbara

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Giant Sequoias Thrive On Fire

Written By Don Shetterly

The other day I came across something that I thought was unique.  I didn't know it, and I found it interesting.  Giant Sequoias thrive on fire.


Forest fires actually help these giant sequoia trees.  I've never gotten to see one except in a picture online, but they look like majestic trees.

Fire does not destroy these trees, and in fact, it helps in the germination of the seeds and seedling growth.  Without fire, the seeds are not released, and these trees do not grow.  Besides, fire helps reduce the competition of other species of trees so that the sequoias can grow.

I often think about the stuff I went through as a kid, and it was not easy.  From the sexual abuse to the torture and physical, emotional and mental abuse, my life was not easy.  You could easily say I had been put through the fire.

Without the struggle in my life...

While I struggle to write this thought, I realize that without what I had been through in my life, I would not have become what I am today.  I recognize that, and I hate that statement, but deep down I know it is true for my life.

I'm not condoning abuse in any way, but I know that without it, I could not be there for others in the way that I am.  It is through that experience that I'm able to understand what others have gone through and how I can support them.

Sometimes the fires of life are more challenging than we can accept, but they are there for a reason.  That's my belief of course.  You're free to not believe that if you want.  I just know that in my own life, the fires helped open up a side of me that may not have emerged without it.

The Giant Sequoias are an example of how nature uses something that destroys most trees to regenerate and help it grow and thrive.  It seems that nature always finds a way to balance things out.

In my own life, I can see the same.  Even though it doesn't make the journey easier, at least I know there is a larger purpose for my life than what I experienced.  I strive to be all that I can be so that I can help others as they walk the treacherous journey healing from abuse.

See this source to Learn More About The Giant Sequoias

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
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Stop Bugging Me - Back Away Bugs

(Written by Natural Healing Gal, Marie)

Back Away Bugs

If you have not already read the previous month's column, Living With Bugs, take a look at it because it fits in with this month's column.

Back in the early 80’s, before I became a professional dog trainer, I was a dog groomer. I learned a lot more than I ever wanted to know about ticks and fleas, their life cycle, feeding, breeding. Oh, yuck. Not pleasant. But it helps to know the information if you want to research what attracts them and how to repel them.

I currently teach dog training classes every evening, outdoors at dusk. It was not fun the first couple of years. Bugs LOVE me. Or they hate me. I guess they are just hungry and everyone has to eat!

Every morning Mike and I went to the beach for qigong class. It was a sunrise class that was beautiful and peaceful until the summer no-see-ums tried to mess with us. Then we all began sharing different natural formulas, as none of us wanted anything toxic on our skin.

You can see that I have plenty of time to test out products. And test them, I do! I have gone through many different essential oil recipes and many different pre-made brands over the 12 years we have been here. Some worked a little, but not so much. I finally found a good combination that works for us.

I have found that different formulas may work differently for some than for others. I am not sure why, but there are some products that people swear by that did not work for me and vice versa. The point is, don’t give up on using natural bug repellant if something does not work for you. There are many good ones out there that are worth a try. Be sure to check for skin sensitivity on you and your pets, even with natural products. There are also some people who are more attractive to certain bugs than others. I see this with dogs as well. Some dogs are magnets for ticks! Others barely get noticed by those nasty critters.

Keeping Bugs Off Of Me

To keep bugs off of me outdoors, I found No no-see-um.  It is a combination of lemongrass, citronella, and geranium rose oil. I used it regularly for mosquitoes at dusk, and it worked really well. Unfortunately, when I used it for sunrise on the beach, it did not work for the no-see-ums!

I then found Terra Shield from Do terra. Terra Shield is a blend of several oils, including citronella and cedar wood.  This worked beautifully for me, both on the beach at sunrise and for mosquitoes at dusk! It comes in a 30 ml spray bottle and in a 15 ml refill. You can apply it as is, but it is a little thick, so I dilute with water, and shake before each spray.

Keeping Fleas and Ticks Off Of My Dogs

To keep fleas and ticks off my dogs, I use a combination of products. At home, I am using Dr. Mercola’s Herbal Repellent Collar  along with their Spot on Topical Herbal Repellent. If I am out at a show, I add a daily spray of Dr. Mercola’s Natural Flea and Tick defense,  especially on their feet. I still check them for ticks daily. Please note I do not have cats right now and cats tend to be sensitive to some essential oils. Be sure to do your own research when it comes to your kitty friends!

When I was a groomer, I learned to do a flea bath on my client's dogs and cats. Here is a little-known trick! A flea bath does not need toxic shampoos or dips.  If you use soapy water, the fleas drown. Many people do not know fleas drown in soapy water, but you will need to bathe carefully to be sure they don’t escape. As soon as water hits the skin, fleas retreat into a dog's eyes, ears, nose, and…  *ahem*… anus. This is not fun for your dog, and the fleas will just come out after your dog is dry, but they will not cross over the wet soapy solution!

Begin a flea bath by keeping your dog dry at first. I make my own shampoo by simmering soap nuts in water for 20 minutes, then adding cold water. It is a gentle, low suds, natural soap that has repellent properties, and leaves the coat clean and soft with no residue. 

Add shampoo to your DRY dog in a full circle around the neck, around the ears, and around the base of the tail. This will prevent the fleas from escaping into sensitive areas. Then continue to wet your dog and add shampoo to the rest of the body. If there are fleas present, you will see them being washed away with the soapy water.

Keeping your pet healthy with a strong immune system and feeding a healthy diet will also go a long way to make them less attractive to ticks and fleas.
Marie


Back AWAY from us, bugs!

--Marie

 - Marie (Natural Healing Gal)

Read all of Marie's Columnist Posts

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Marie

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Dog Training, Qigong

Homeopathy

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Please note that this blog post and these remedies are for information purposes only.  Please consult with your own medical providers should you have medical questions and see the Medical Disclaimer here.

Also, make sure that you read and follow any label directions for products listed in these blog posts.  This is the opinion and practice of Marie, but make sure you are safe in how you use the products.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly and Marie

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 


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Dealing With Phone Anxiety

 By Don Shetterly, Jeff Lemlich, Marie Davino

Telephone phobia is not a new thing – after all, it was listed in The Encyclopedia of Phobias, Fears, and Anxieties, long before the iPhone, Droid, or Galaxy Nexus ever came into our lives.   It might not be new, but in this age of text messages that demand instant responses, or robocalls that never seem to end, there are more and more people who’ve come to despise the sound of their own ringtones.

Two of our columnists have joined me for this post since all three of us have some degree of telephone anxiety.  What follows is a roundtable discussion with Marie Davino (Natural Healing Gal), Jeff Lemlich, and myself, as we try to understand and come to terms with this growing problem.


Jeff: Everywhere I go, I see people talking on their cell phones.   I know people that can chatter away for hours at a time, day after day after day.   To many (maybe most), that’s the way things are and the way things should be.   But I’m not like that.   Not even close.

I have telephone anxiety.  When someone says “call me,” I immediately try to see if I can text or email instead.   I don’t just hate talking on the phone – sometimes I fear it.  Sometimes it makes me shake, or lose what seems like half of my vocabulary.


Don: Phone anxiety is not fun for me.  There have been times I’ve been okay with it and other times when it becomes a living torment every day.  The phone was a constant source of anxiety for me just before I was paralyzed (insert blog post link).  After I got out of the hospital, hearing the phone ring would bring on an anxiety attack.  With time, I learned to get over it.


Marie:  I have had this issue with phone anxiety for as long as I can remember. I can feel it now just thinking about it. I avoid the phone most of the time. I procrastinate listening to messages to avoid making the call ... and the longer I let it go, the more shame I feel, because it seems it is something so simple.


Don: When the phone rings, it feels like a tornado siren going off that will not stop.  I find it disruptive and annoying at best.  Most of the time, there are phone spammers and scammers on the other end that I have no desire to talk to at any time of the day.


Jeff: I had no trouble talking on the phone when I was a teenager, back when everyone in the house shared a single phone line.   I don’t know if years as a TV news producer, assignment editor, and researcher (pre-internet) burned me out on reaching out and touching someone, but it sure hit me in a big way… and still does.


Don: I had a recent job that had me on the phone from early morning until late night.  I would do conference calls, and for the most part, I was okay with it.  However, I was doing so much travel that at times I think the phone became my companion.  Even with me being able to handle it, I know towards the end of the job that the phone was becoming a knife that would stab me every time it rang.


Marie: When I do make a call, most of the time I do so well, you would think that it would build my confidence and the next time would be easier. It doesn't... and it isn't. There is always the possibility of that humiliating feeling of drawing a blank. Words disappear. I can't think. I want to sleep.  I go numb and disappear somewhere inside myself. It also happens in normal conversations in person. When I "come back," I have missed half the conversation, and I inevitably say something stupid, and I get that look of "what did she just say?" The embarrassment is overwhelming.


Jeff: I can usually handle short phone calls.   I like when the conversation gets right to the point.  After about 20 or 30 minutes, I start to pace, and before too long it becomes clear that the call must come to an end.


I can’t stand one more minute.   I can’t stand one more second… and it doesn’t matter who’s on the line.   It could be the most important people in my life.   When I reach that point of no return, that’s it.   Please, please, please stop talking!


Don: For me, it is pure torment when the phone rings unless I know someone is calling that is on my approved favorites list.  When the text messages come, and I’m not busy or just relaxing, they are okay, but for the most part, I find them disruptive.

Getting awakened by the phone early in the morning, especially from phone scammers, does not yield a good reaction from me.  Some days I want to pound the phone into oblivion.


Marie: The anxiety can be so frustrating. It bleeds over to my relationship with my husband. It leads to tense moments; we have arguments over it. He does not have this issue. He loves to talk on the phone, and so it makes no sense to him. Or maybe he does have the issue, but he is able to push it aside and do it anyway. I do not know why some people can push through the troubles in their lives and some have so much more difficulty. At least, that is how it looks in my view of the world!


Don: I get this intense anxiety that comes over me and shows up as profuse sweating.  It will soak my clothes in less time than sitting in a steam room for a few minutes.  It angers me because there are people that I do love talking to on the phone, but it has made this difficult.


Marie: Most people don't understand... and I hear, so what, just get over it.  Well, if it holds me back so much, which it does, and I could just "get over it," why wouldn't I? Am I just lazy? Is it because I am sabotaging myself? I ask myself these questions often.


Don: I can feel the anxiety and anger kick up big time when all of this happens.  So far, I can’t identify why it happens or how to hold it down.  I’m still working on this part of my life.

I try to moderate some of this by shutting off the text message sound, but the phone still vibrates.  At times, I unplug the main phone, so I don’t have to hear it ring.  I wish I could say I have this under control, but lately, the phone had better be thankful I don’t keep my hammer nearby for it would meet its untimely demise.


Marie: I wonder if there is an answer. If there is, I have not found it yet... but in my business, I found someone else to make the calls now.  It has taken a huge burden off me.


Jeff: As you see, I’m not alone in this.  If someone you know is balking at giving you a call, try to understand that not everyone was born to chat.   It’s not that we don’t want to talk to you.   It’s just that, sometimes, we can’t.



Thank You you everyone for this discussion and thank you to Jeff for pulling this blog post together.  I hope that by all of us sharing what we experience it will help someone else understand the anxiety they face.  This is something I am working on in my own life.


Check Out more info on the blog post contributors

• Jeff Lemlich
• Marie Davino
• Don Shetterly

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2017 by Don Shetterly

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