I Refuse

I'm writing this long before it is published, but it will most likely be relevant at any time it is posted.  In today's age, we have become hatemongers with one another.

We don't care about another point of view or belief.  We just demand that ours is the correct one and all others are wrong.

So today, I state the following.

Join with me if you plan to do the same.



I Refuse!

• I refuse to partake in the hate-mongering that is thriving online.  If I cannot say something nice about someone, I will be silent.
• I refuse to partake in the sensationalized drama that is spread through ridiculous social media postings with its only intent is to get you to click on something.
• I refuse to partake in one-sided arguments where facts are omitted, but belief and opinion are the only arguments.
• I refuse to propagate pictures and images and social media posts that demean any group or political ideology or persons that are different than me.
• I refuse to spread false lies and innuendo just because someone on social media claims it is true.  I will check the facts out and if I cannot verify it, I will not spread it forward.
• I refuse to pass claims along that appear to be valid, but have no basis in fact or ones that have been proven to be untrue.  I will take a minute to think before I forward and like a social media posting.
• I refuse to add more screaming and yelling to the mix of social media, especially when no one is listening to anyone but themselves.
• I refuse to live my life on social media because even though I may have connections, I know that it is the true friends you can see and talk to in life that make a big difference.
• I refuse to get worked up about every social media posting just because the crowd has their pitchforks raised in the air and chanting in unison.

Social media is a good way to help advance things in the world, but lately all I have seen is a place that is degrading to humanity.  The only way we can rise above all of this is if we don't propagate on that which we despise and hate.

If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem.

You can expect my social media posts to be respectful, compassionate and hopefully ones that help others heal and advance their lives.  If I fail in this regard, please private message me and show me where I failed.  I will try to correct it immediately. 

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Will The Words Matter That Have Been Spoken

After the past several months of an election season, we're now coming to the end of it.  If everyone really stepped back and looked at what they said and posted and shared, I honestly wonder what we would think of our words.

Would we really be proud of all that we said and the way we said it? 

Would it hold as truth in 1000 years as it does today?

I wonder about those questions because I'm not so sure we could answer them in a positive way about them.  I doubt that in a 1000 years, what is so critical today, will be even remembered at that point.  I have a feeling that all this screaming and yelling will essentially be for nothing.

Yet, it doesn't stop anyone from doing it.  Group 1 says something and so group 2 responds.  Group 2 responds and now group 3 and group 1 have to respond.  Of course, then the next level of that involves more pointed and heated words.  It involves one-upping the other groups.  It requires that we out-flank the others and really make our point knowing.  

As it continues to escalate and build, it becomes nothing more than screaming and yelling at one another where no one is listening.  I'm sure that when this election is over, everyone will view things differently, but life will go on and little will be paid to each individual's role in this entire process.  It won't even enter into most people's minds how they participated in this horrible display of childish behavior.

I often look at what I see online and in the news and think, what if our children behaved this same way?  Most likely the child would have his backside spanked and they would be set in a corner to think about how their actions were so horrible. 

Yet, adults are doing the same thing and they don't stop to think about it.  I'm not so sure our children aren't smarter than adults most days.  Adults are modeling this behavior for their children and then getting upset when the child shows it back to them.  How two sided can you get?  Just look at what is happening to our children and the bullying and violence taking place in our schools!

More importantly though when all we can do is scream and yell and make outrageous statements backed up by little or no facts, how is that good for our society?  It does nothing to advance humans on this planet.  It does nothing to care about one another or see if there is a way we can work together for our common good.

I wish people would really look at what they say.  I can't see how many people would be proud of the words they used and how they showed complete disrespect and contempt for one another.  Aren't we as humans better than that? 

Do we just hate ourselves so much that we hate others in the process and we don't care if it shows? We don't care what happens.  It is all about what we think is right and to hell with the rest!

Most likely we will just have lowered the bar on public discourse, especially when it comes to our political process. Imagine what the next political season will entail because we have set the bar so low in this one.  At the end of the day, I doubt any of us will be further along in learning how to help one another, listen to one another or have the most basic respect for each other.

May our children teach us how to see the world and each other, because in my view - the adults are failing the children and the world in a big way. The things people say to one another should be at a higher standard than we are today.  May we all find that point and elevate the discussion and respect in this world.

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Blog Post And Images (c) 2016 by Don Shetterly

• Permission required before any part of this blog post is reprinted, reworded or used in any form. 
• You are welcomed to share the LINK to this blog post.  

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Our Screaming And Yelling Affects Others

People, who scream and fight and argue, really cause me a lot of distress. It gets to me quickly and it leaves me feeling very agitated. Finding the silence of peace and calmness in our communities seems to be as rare as winning the lottery.

Sometimes in the morning when I am sitting out by my pool for my morning meditation, I can hear the neighbors screaming at the kids they are watching. In fact, as I am writing this, I can hear them scream and a car alarm buzzer is going off in the background. These things disrupt my quest for peace and calmness in the morning. I'd much rather hear the birds singing any day than listen to the noise from the neighbors.

Another example is watching TV. Even shows like America's Got Talent where Piers Morgan likes to argue with the other judges is something that really gets to me. His name calling, lack of respect and extremely critical persona make me very sad for whoever it is on the receiving end. While I do realize this is reality and drama TV, it affects people more than we sometimes want to accept.

Even on the new season of the Apprentice (with the unemployed contestants), the constant bickering and screaming made me feel on edge. I felt like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I could even feel my arms, shoulders and back tense up during this show.

When I was a kid, there was a show called "I Love Lucy" or I believe that was the name of it. Supposedly my parents would not let me watch it because the show would upset me and make me angry. Again, it was the screaming and yelling on the show that got to me.

All my life, I have struggled with this. I grew up in a home where my father constantly yelled, screamed and berated everyone around him. There was no pleasing the man! It doesn't take much either to affect me these days. There are times that someone talking fast, nonstop and loud is very difficult for me to be around.

The unusual thing is that as much as this bothers me, I found my own self doing the same thing. Only I don't berate the ones I love and I don't yell at them. I would never do that. The thing I do is scream and yell out of frustration at the little things in life. Sometimes I have very little patience or understanding for myself. Sometimes I demand perfection of myself while not forgiving any mistakes I make or could potentially make. I am very hard on myself. In fact, I am much harder on myself than I am on anyone else.

I had one of those wake up moments in life where I realized that my own personal outbursts were affecting those around me. From my relationship to my cats, everyone was on edge wondering when I would erupt. They never knew when the slightest little task as innocent as it could be would frustrate me and set me off. This was a big eye opener for me which made me take stock of my life.

I'm sure not perfect in this area of my life but I have really been working on it. I hate to think that something I'm doing brings tension to those around me. I know what it is like to grow up in a house of screaming and yelling.

Being a highly sensitive person, I know just how intense moments around me can impact my mind and my body in dramatic ways. I've worked to minimize some of those and to give myself moments of quiet in my day. I've stopped watching the news commentators on TV because so much of what they say comes from anger. It really just agitates the mind, especially my mind. For me, I see too many people screaming and yelling in life. It is too much for me to take most days.

There are many things we do in our own lives that strongly impact the lives of those around us. Often we don't realize just what these things do to others. We may realize that it is something we struggle with but we may not be fully aware of what we are forcing others to live through. We really need to be aware of this or at least be open to hearing from others how our behavior impacts them. Of course, we cannot go through life trying to be everything to all people.

I do realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I am impacted stronger by things than most people. While I give myself moments of silence, I try to keep my distance from those that yell and scream. Finally now in life, I am able to really calm myself down so the little things don't get to me and erupt into screaming and yelling. I am learning that there is no need to add to the turmoil in our world. For me to be there for others, I need to offer my own peace and calmness, not my turmoil.



(Above Picture taken at the lighthouse at Ponce Inlet, FL - (c) 09/14/10)

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