Stand Opposed

Written By Don Shetterly

These days it feels like everyone hates one another.  I'm not sure there is anything but hatred these days.  So much is shared online of how we should love one another.  We say it to those who agree with us, but the premise remains the same.

If you're not in a specific thought bubble on whatever subject it is on, then somehow you're a bad person.  You're wrong and stupid and all the other adjectives that one could list here.  That's how it is portrayed online each and every day.

It isn't just about one subject that gets screamed about every day.  I've seen it lately from things that you wouldn't expect it to things that do not seem to be controversial.  As I've found, don't you dare disagree because you are the one that will be outcast.

Far too much of this comes from those who don't want to discuss issues but think everything they say is right (and all others are wrong).  Much of this comes from those who profess love and acceptance of everyone, but give them an online comment and they will get down in the mud pit with everyone else.

See, I think these statements about love, acceptance, and rising above everyone is just codeword for you don't agree with me and I don't want to talk to you.  I may be wrong, but I see more and more evidence of this.

If we just stand opposed on every subject under the sun, then how does that make us a civilization?  How are we a part of the human experience if we only want to hear the things that we agree within a day?

Sure, everyone says they want this, but far too few actually put it into action.  Remember when you get down in the mud pit of life and wrestle with everyone, no one can tell you apart.  Everyone in the mud pit looks like the other.

We've got enough issues in this world and to create more just for the sake of screaming along with the crowd, that's not being human.  In fact, that is ego driven in my view.  It is born out of fear that overtakes a person.  Human is a long ways off.

I wish this world would jam the gear in reverse, but I'm afraid we're going to go through some painful experiences before things reverse.  No one cares about one another these days (unless it is someone in your own tribe).  No one knows how to show respect for each other.  Yes, they can spout off memes, thoughts, and bible verses showing how loving and compassionate they are.

Maybe we just need to step back and see how we respond to situations.  Have you really looked at what you say and do?  Is it truly done out of respect, or is it hateful and spiteful?

The other day, I had an exchange with someone and I'll let you read what happened when instead of being sarcastic or spiteful, a simple reply with respect changed the course of a day.  It can be that simple, but first, we have to get it right within ourselves.  The following tweet was just part of the conversation that helped change the course of the day with another individual.

If you want to practice #Kindness - think about the responses you make to social media postings, videos, and news. If you can't practice kindness in those moments, do you truly understand what it means to be kind?

— Don Shetterly (@mindbodythought) November 14, 2018

The person responded

LOL thank u Don, for I have certainly roasted couple severals of people to a charred crisp. While I think they deserve it, they also deserve love/compassion. So today is that day I'm sending it out to them & ALL, including you. I don't know u, but I love u for the person u are.

To which I said,

One day is better than nothing.  

Sometimes just a different response can mean so much to the whole world.  May we all try to give a different response - one that is respectful, compassionate, and kind.

Lip Service Compassion

Written By Don Shetterly

Lip service compassion seems to be the norm these days.  It is pretty awful how humans are treating one another.  Everyone claims it is the other people that do this, but they fail to see their role.

You've got the ones that have their beliefs and nothing is going to change them.  They shout their beliefs and views from the mountaintops, caring little what others think.  They believe they are right and everyone else needs to see their way of looking at everything in life.  It is nothing more than lip service compassion.

There are those that get up and scream at everyone thinking that all of the noise is horrible.  While that may sound great, there are far too many that only give it lip service compassion.  They want everyone to see things in their view and they will not entertain anyone else's thoughts, especially when they go against their beliefs.

You will also see people who feel they do have it right and might be closer to being human, but then they go out and start screaming to the world how stupid everyone is.  If you try to suggest you do not want to be part of the screaming, they tell you how privileged you are.  In their mind, they are noble, but it is nothing more than lip service compassion for the world.

I don't care what subject it is, there will be people that will take offense to whatever you say.  If you said there was a rock on the sidewalk, some would claim it should be there.  Some would claim it should not be there and others would not see it.  All the while, everyone would act as if they were right and everyone else is wrong.

At this point, I'm so tired of hearing the screaming disguised as lip service compassion.  No one is changing anyone's mind because everyone is screaming rather than listening.

The holidays are a time when we come together to give thanks for all we have along with those we love.  It is a time when we celebrate peace and joy on earth.  Unfortunately, our lives don't give proof to what we say.  We practice nothing more than lip service compassion.

If you find yourself blaming some group of people or political difference, they aren't the problem.  You are!  If you find yourself demanding that others are wrong and they only need to listen to you, then you're the problem.  When you spend more of your time pointing out the faults in others, they aren't the ones to blame.  You are!

Of course, only you can change what happens.  No one else can make you into a compassionate person especially if you don't truly see yourself.  No one else can make you change your behavior because that is solely up to you.

We as a world, need to stop the lip service compassion.  We need to find a way to embrace one another as fellow travelers on this journey called life.  If we keep standing opposed and self-righteous to one another, we will not make it.  If we think we have the answers and everyone else is wrong, we're adding to the horror this world faces.

It is time for us to wake up as a people and stop lip service compassion towards one another.

We Think We Lead Healthy Lives

Written By Don Shetterly

I'm more and more amazed at the behaviors I see every day when it comes to people's health.  We as a country claim we eat healthy, live healthy and do all we can to stay healthy.

Unfortunately, that is not true.

A recent news article showed just how much fast food consumption is increasing while everyone claims to be eating more healthy.  Just the kind of unconscious behavior that is alive and well in our world today.  People aren't in touch with what they actually do.  They lead themselves to believe they do more than they say they do.

I know - it is a harsh truth isn't it?  It doesn't sound nice.  We like to think EVERYONE else out there does these things, but we are all guilty of it.

If you don't believe me, go into your local grocery store.  See which things take up the most isle space.  It will prove my point many times over.

No one hardly eats food that is whole and unprocessed anymore.  Produce that is lightly steamed or cooked is a thing of the past for most.  Frozen vegetables or vegetables obliterated by cooking is what is for dinner!

I've had people tell me that frozen vegetables are the same as whole produce.  I hate to break it to you, but they are not.  Yes, they can measure out the vitamin and mineral percentages, but what is not accounted for is the enzymes and phytochemicals destroyed in processing.

In our house, we try to eat plenty of gently cooked whole vegetables in our day.  I can't remember the last time I went to a McDonalds or any other fast food place.  It is the place I eat at only if I'm starving and there's nothing else for 50 miles.

We don't go for the sugary coffees and energy drinks and soft drinks every day.  Most of the time, you'll only find water in our house to drink.

In 2009, we learned through Jeff Primack and Food Based Healing about whole food smoothies.  Nope, they aren't some mix or supplement that goes into them.  Nope, they aren't yogurt or ice cream or other nonhealthy stuff.  They are basic produce items.  You can read the blog post on My Flu Shot to learn more about them.

The other thing is, I don't get crazy worried about germs out there or other people getting sick.  To me, in my mind, if I do that it becomes nothing more than attracting that which I fear.  I don't need the extra stress and worry on my mind in this toxic stress world.

We also get bodywork with Dr. Paul Canali done frequently so our nervous system is more balanced and we're not taken under by the toxic stress.  I wish more people would do this.

So, when people come and tell me I should get a flu shot, I roll my eyes.  Why do I need to introduce that stuff into my body when I know how to take care of myself.  They claim that I will somehow put them at risk.  Really?  Then the flu shot is not that effective and if you have one, then using your facts, you would be protected.  So, the logic doesn't work at least in my mind.  Again, it is unconscious thoughts and behavior. 

It is a free country, and you can do what you want to do, but this is the path I've chosen.  Just know that I'm not in agreement with what most of this world does.  I think it is short-sighted and unconscious.

If people focused on truly taking care of themselves from what they eat to dumping the toxic stress, we'd all be better off in this world.  Of course, that feels like utopia to me, but I still hope that we as a world will wake up.

Lashing Out At People

Written By Don Shetterly

Recently, I have had a couple of experiences that left me dazed and scratching my head.  In both cases, I said one thing and someone else took it completely out of context.  They inserted words or their experiences into it and then began the assault.

In both cases, what I said and what they read into it were miles apart.  It didn't help that I tried to explain what it was that I meant.  They were having none of that.  They had already come to a conclusion in their mind that I should be found guilty for whatever crime they believe I committed.

Sure, I know we all hear incorrectly what others sometimes say.  I understand that, but when someone lashes out at you instead of trying to understand or listen, there is only so much you can do.

I saw this a lot in the house I grew up in and it was so common, no one realized they were doing this.  Often you would hear, "We hurt the ones we love the most."   While I accepted that back then, I no longer accept that because it is abusive.

When people filter out what you say, it is hard to get them to see the complete picture.  It is difficult to understand the true intent of their words and as a result, you end up spewing toxic garbage on them and yourself.  It makes things pretty messy.

I see these situations that I experienced as someone demanding that I understand, but I was not able to have a moment to explain.  They deemed me guilty of something I didn't do.  Would it not be better if they helped me understand why they reacted the way they did?  Would that not be more beneficial?

The experiences are sad and the best reaction I can have is just to walk away from the toxicity.  No matter what I try to say, it isn't going to be enough.  No matter how hard I try to convince someone in these situations, they are not going to begin trying to understand what I said.

Of course, these days, this is how our country and the world reacts to other people.  We don't truly listen and we judge others before anyone has a chance to articulate their point.  We rush to the execution because in our eyes, we are right and everyone else is wrong.  How does this advance humanity?

At one time, I would have gotten in the ring and fought until I thought I had won.  These days I do not see the benefit of jumping in the mud pit because I know that if I do, no one will be able to tell the other person and me apart.

If we want others to understand what we know, we need to give them the benefit of the doubt.  We need to listen to them and not judge them before they open their mouth.  For when we judge and accuse someone before we see the entire situation, we're really making the world a worse place.

We owe it to one another to be there for the other person and help them travel this journey together.  The more we can lift up and honor humanity together, the more progress we all make.