Sunday, December 5, 2010

Showing Frustrations

The frustrations in life can seem to be too much. I find it difficult to navigate them as if I am walking through a minefield. It may be the smallest thing that gets to me.

At one time, I just held all these things in and no one saw them. I considered showing these little frustrations to be a sign of weakness. At the time, it felt like if I showed this side of me to anyone I was out of control. Of course, now I understand that holding these emotions in makes me more weak and out of control.

It is not easy for me to deal with at times. Much of my reactions to little frustrations is set off like I am on autopilot. It is not like I feel I have an option at times to stop the direction of my reactions and do something different. As much as I would love to be able to do that, I am not superman.

I do understand how emotions, past trauma and current stress play into this. I could suppress all these things as many urge me to do but in many ways, this is like adding more fuel to a ticking time bomb. While most do not understand, it is about going in and allowing myself the space to feel these things as they come up. My goal is to find true healing, not just put on a happy face disguise.

Getting constant work done on myself to balance my nervous system is one good way that I can help myself through this. Releasing the pieces of trauma from my past gives me a greater capacity in my nervous system to absorb and allow the frustrations to roll on. Recognizing that I am healing and becoming more aware of all parts of myself gives me the courage to walk through these unknown roads of consciousness.

(c) 11/30/10 Don Shetterly - Use by permission only.

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