Before You Speak THINK
T = Is it True?
H = Is it Helpful?
I = Is it Inspiring?
N = Is it Necessary?
K = Is it Kind?
Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Before You Speak - THINK
T = Is it True?
H = Is it Helpful?
I = Is it Inspiring?
N = Is it Necessary?
K = Is it Kind?
Friday, October 7, 2011
Body Language
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| Body Language |
Body language often says more than our words say to others around us. One of the things that I got from all the years of abuse I went through, was the ability to read body language without thinking much about it. Often, I can see much more in what someone is really saying, rather than just the words they are speaking.
Years ago, I remember telling employees that worked under me to not lie because if they did, I would figure it out. I pick up on very subtle clues in people and when I see their body language in addition to hearing the words, I can tell almost instantly that they are lying. I have see Judge Judy do this on TV as well where she can tell in an instant if someone is lying or not. My friends get shocked at me because sometimes if I am watching someone being interviewed on TV, I'll shout, "they're lying" without thinking what I am saying.
Body language goes further than this though in really shedding light as to what a person is thinking as they speak. Sometimes people just don't have confidence in the words they speak and that really shows or they might not believe what they are saying but they are trying to be convincing. Sometimes people hide from the real truth inside and not necessarily intentionally, but their body language and their words don't match up.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Quiet Please, Just Listen
I feel like there are times when I live in a world full of talkers. You know, the ones that just sometimes won't be quiet for two seconds. Whether it is on the phone, in person, or even through online methods, it just seems like there is no end in sight.
Have you ever been in a restaurant and you get seated close to some talkative people where they are not only nonstop but somewhat loud. Or what about the person that gets you on the phone and you can't get a word in regardless of how many attempts you make. They just go on and on until you begin to wonder what they said to you.
My Dad loved to hear himself talk, regardless if you wanted to sit there and listen or not, you had no say or choice in that matter. Some of what he said was good and a lot of it was dribble.
When we constantly talk and dominate conversations, there is something that is out of balance. Yes, there might be something good in what you say, but if you are not engaging the listener, than are you truly being heard? If a talker is not listening to the other person, are they really respecting the listener?
It always frustrates me when I encounter these people because to me, if they think they have to run the mouth off, who am I to force them to stop. They don't listen for a moment any way. However, I get to the point where I avoid them because it is no longer fun trying to have a conversation with them and I feel invalidated and disrespected.
We were given two ears on our body and one mouth. Our minds are meant to control the flow in and the flow out. Giving the mouth more time and energy is not finding a healthy balance with the ears. Remember, if you have two ears, there should be more time given to listening rather than talking.
Try listening a little more and you may find just how much you learn as those around you may feel a little more valued. Not everything we speak is important for the world to hear but when you listen to someone, you've given them a valued place in life that could be life altering.
Blog Post & Images (c) 4/28/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com
Have you ever been in a restaurant and you get seated close to some talkative people where they are not only nonstop but somewhat loud. Or what about the person that gets you on the phone and you can't get a word in regardless of how many attempts you make. They just go on and on until you begin to wonder what they said to you.
My Dad loved to hear himself talk, regardless if you wanted to sit there and listen or not, you had no say or choice in that matter. Some of what he said was good and a lot of it was dribble.
When we constantly talk and dominate conversations, there is something that is out of balance. Yes, there might be something good in what you say, but if you are not engaging the listener, than are you truly being heard? If a talker is not listening to the other person, are they really respecting the listener?
It always frustrates me when I encounter these people because to me, if they think they have to run the mouth off, who am I to force them to stop. They don't listen for a moment any way. However, I get to the point where I avoid them because it is no longer fun trying to have a conversation with them and I feel invalidated and disrespected.
We were given two ears on our body and one mouth. Our minds are meant to control the flow in and the flow out. Giving the mouth more time and energy is not finding a healthy balance with the ears. Remember, if you have two ears, there should be more time given to listening rather than talking.
Try listening a little more and you may find just how much you learn as those around you may feel a little more valued. Not everything we speak is important for the world to hear but when you listen to someone, you've given them a valued place in life that could be life altering.
Blog Post & Images (c) 4/28/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Needing To Be Right
At one time, I thought I had to always try to convince others that what I felt was important was what they understood. If someone challenged me, I always thought I had to go until the end when I was able to prove myself correct. It seemed like a badge of honor to be abl
e to stand up and get people to understand just how right I thought I was in life. Like many people do, I felt that I needed to be right!
With the advent of the internet message boards and now things such as comments on news articles or facebook, and constant 24 hour news pundits, there is a need for people to try and prove to others just how much they think they know. It is like a strong magnet that really pulls the comments out of people and forces them to type them into the mega-sphere of the internet. In addition, the internet allows us to be anonymous when writing comments so in many ways, it does not seem like we are really responding to a human life form.
Much of the time when people have to force their ideals upon others, it really shows a lack of insecurity and often times, immaturity. While they may have a considerable amount to say and it may have merit to it, often the need to expound upon these things gets in the way of the message.
At one time, I thought I had to respond to everything written and prove my point. I thought that if I did not, it made me weak. Of course, subscribing to some of the thought philosophies expounded upon through the media pundits, I thought I was armed with the truth. In many ways, some of this reminds me of the brainwashing I received at the hands of the church. Truth be told, many religions do this in overt and sometimes in very subtle ways.
As I am learning though, some times, it is more wise and prudent to just not say much. There is no need to engage this part of human civilization because most likely if someone has their mind made up that they hold the truth, what you say is not going to matter at all. Sometimes, the stronger person is the one that can walk away and allow the other person to wallow in their own insecurity.
There are things that truly matter in this world and most of the public discourse taking place these days does not rise to that level. If you took out much of what is being discussed these days, life would still continue to go on.
I remember my mom telling me often that you can be silent and make people wonder or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt. It is amazing to me to see just how true that is. There are many people that speak to hear themselves speak or in the case of the internet, write to see their words on the public screen. If everyone took a step back at times and really thought about what they were going to say, the level of humanity and respect in this world would rise at least ten fold. Just because a person is able to speak or write what they think is right, does not necessarily mean it is uplifting, supporting, encouraging or helpful to the greater good of mankind.
I'm left with the thought about how our words impact water and since our bodies are around 70% water (give or take), words impact us powerfully. All one has to do is read some of the research that Dr. Masaru Emoto has done or try some of the experiments he has done to see the effects. The words we put out say a lot about how we view humanity and how we view ourselves. Just changing the words that we speak or write, has an enormous effect on the world around us.
Sometimes the wiser person is the one that can walk away from the discussion because they see the bigger and broader picture of life. Needing to be right in everything does very little advance human consciousness along.
Further Reading:
1) Hidden Messages (blog post 3/30/2009)
2) Hidden Messages In Water by Dr. Masaru Emoto
Blog Post & Images (c) 2/19/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com
e to stand up and get people to understand just how right I thought I was in life. Like many people do, I felt that I needed to be right!With the advent of the internet message boards and now things such as comments on news articles or facebook, and constant 24 hour news pundits, there is a need for people to try and prove to others just how much they think they know. It is like a strong magnet that really pulls the comments out of people and forces them to type them into the mega-sphere of the internet. In addition, the internet allows us to be anonymous when writing comments so in many ways, it does not seem like we are really responding to a human life form.
Much of the time when people have to force their ideals upon others, it really shows a lack of insecurity and often times, immaturity. While they may have a considerable amount to say and it may have merit to it, often the need to expound upon these things gets in the way of the message.
At one time, I thought I had to respond to everything written and prove my point. I thought that if I did not, it made me weak. Of course, subscribing to some of the thought philosophies expounded upon through the media pundits, I thought I was armed with the truth. In many ways, some of this reminds me of the brainwashing I received at the hands of the church. Truth be told, many religions do this in overt and sometimes in very subtle ways.
As I am learning though, some times, it is more wise and prudent to just not say much. There is no need to engage this part of human civilization because most likely if someone has their mind made up that they hold the truth, what you say is not going to matter at all. Sometimes, the stronger person is the one that can walk away and allow the other person to wallow in their own insecurity.
There are things that truly matter in this world and most of the public discourse taking place these days does not rise to that level. If you took out much of what is being discussed these days, life would still continue to go on.
I remember my mom telling me often that you can be silent and make people wonder or you can open your mouth and remove all doubt. It is amazing to me to see just how true that is. There are many people that speak to hear themselves speak or in the case of the internet, write to see their words on the public screen. If everyone took a step back at times and really thought about what they were going to say, the level of humanity and respect in this world would rise at least ten fold. Just because a person is able to speak or write what they think is right, does not necessarily mean it is uplifting, supporting, encouraging or helpful to the greater good of mankind.
I'm left with the thought about how our words impact water and since our bodies are around 70% water (give or take), words impact us powerfully. All one has to do is read some of the research that Dr. Masaru Emoto has done or try some of the experiments he has done to see the effects. The words we put out say a lot about how we view humanity and how we view ourselves. Just changing the words that we speak or write, has an enormous effect on the world around us.
Sometimes the wiser person is the one that can walk away from the discussion because they see the bigger and broader picture of life. Needing to be right in everything does very little advance human consciousness along.
Further Reading:
1) Hidden Messages (blog post 3/30/2009)
2) Hidden Messages In Water by Dr. Masaru Emoto
Blog Post & Images (c) 2/19/11 Don Shetterly - use by permission only
http://www.donshetterly.com
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