Monday, December 16, 2013

Hiding From The Dentist

Okay, get ready, get set - where did he go?  If anyone has seen Don, please send him to the car.  His dentist appointment awaits.  Paging Don - Paging Don!  He's nowhere to be found.  Can you blame him though?  Its the dentist after all!

I don't care how many times I go through this and how many things I do, I'm as frightened of the dentist as someone would be if they were jumping out of a 747 jumbo jet with no parachute at 30,000 feet.  Get the feeling?  Now you've got an inclination of just how difficult this is for me.

I'm trying.  I am trying.  I hopefully have found a better dentist that actually cares and is compassionate unlike the last one that gave lip service to the concept.  I have tried to put some boundaries in place and only had them look at my first visit without doing any work.

While I hate medication of any type, this is the one time I will take something to help me with the anxiety.  I'd like to think I'm strong enough without, but see me hiding behind the door.  Does that prove my point?

I'll take some music to listen to and hopefully that will help me feel a little safer.  I have my safe shirt on and the rest of it, I'll just hope it is over sooner than later.

It isn't easy for me.  I wish it was.  I wish I could be like so many others that do this as a routine part of their life.  I can do the self talk and my self talks back to me with a laugh.

At least this time though, I was able to call the dentist office up on my own, schedule the appointment without getting completely emotional and freezing.  I made it into the dentist office a few days ago to let them take a look, but boy was I happy to get out of there.

I feel the tension building up in my body.  I feel myself withdrawing and being silent, going into my quiet place away from everyone.  I feel myself not wanting to think about what is coming.

And a big part of me feels like one big wimp and weakling.  I'm disgusted that this is such an issue for me.  I get angry that I just can't be normal in all of this.  I get angry at what was done to me many years ago and just how hard it is for me to let go.

Anyway...  off to yet another ordeal to keep in perspective.  I'm trying.  I'm really trying.

Blog Post And Images (c) 12/22/13 by Don Shetterly

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